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Author: KJINJH

Story title: Faith

Story type: Chaptered

Reviewer: vronvron

Review completion: 22/4/2016

Story Link

Overall Story rating: 6/10

Title: [7/10]

The title of your story is not the most unique title out there unfortunately, however, it is relevant to your story.

Foreword/Description: [8/10]

Your description is short and sweet, giving the readers a pretty good idea for the basic themes of the story ahead.

Plot/ character development:[6/10]

I feel as though the development of the characters is lacking. There is just too much dialogue which could be skipped and simply inferred to have being said rather than putting the dialogue in there. With all the dialogue, it feels as though the scenes are much longer than what they are and makes the story seemingly drag on.

Characterization: [7/10]

The characters are introduced to us rather suddenly, but also we aren't given much description of them to know who they are, where they come from. The characters are somewhat 'bland' because of this. You should work on your descriptive language more. The characters also seem a bit random in their behaviour. Perhaps this happened because you didn't give any of them a solid personality and just wanted the to tell the story.

Grammar/Syntax:[6/10]

Most of your sentence structures and grammar was good. However I do need to point out a few things.

• 'I know well whose voice is that, that is my boyfriend's.' Would be better written as: 'I know whose voice that is very well. My boyfriend.'
• 'I turn my body into position of my back leans against the bed, with his arms stay around my body.' Would be better written as: 'I turn over onto my back before sitting up to lean against the headboard, Jongin's arms still wrapped around my body.'

I think one focus for you could be your word ordering. Although we as readers can probably understand what you are trying to say, it can become confusing for us as we read.

There were also several typos here and there, which you should read over to find and fix.

Vocabulary: [7/10]

Your vocabulary is mostly quite simple language which everyone can understand, but once again, it doesn't matter too much about the type of words you are using, but how you order them is the key factor.

Setting/Description: [6/10]

The settings need more description as well. The readers have to almost make it up in their heads rather than picturing something as they read.

/Conclusion:[7/10]

The truth behind their relationships is somewhat cliche and it is something that you can find in other stories as well as dramas.

Enjoyment:[8/10]

It was a nice light-hearted story, however, it seemed quite cliche for me and so it lowered my liking of the story.

Total: 62/90

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