I got back home and to a quite normal life again and I really tried to forget about Delilah. I didn’t hear anything from her again, she didn’t appear in my mind, in my dreams – only in my memory and I remembered her a lot. Kris said to me I should forget about it all. “She’s dead and it’s okay like this. I don’t want to see you being bothered by those unnecessary feelings, she doesn’t deserve your pain.” he said to me almost angry but I didn’t want to live with the thought she died because of me. I wasn’t too sure about this at all. It sounded so wrong, who proofed that she really wasn’t alive anymore? Just because her body disappeared.... I gulped hard to swallow that thought and broke in tears. “How can you say this so easily, Kris. She’s your sister at least!” he looked with a blank expression at me, it was impossible to say what he actually felt. “I don't know from whom you're talking. My sister died long before. The girl who took my sister’s identity and her name is someone I don’t know. Just forget it like I already do.” I hated it to see him that cold and careless and I knew he wasn’t honest at all. “So you really think that way, do you!?” I insisted and he nodded “It’s easier that way.” "You can't chose what is easier to believe, you need to believe what's true!" "So tell me Hyomi, tell me the truth if you know it so well! I only know she deserves this because she killed people before." he countered back unnerved and I better stopped talking. This was the point of my argument. If he thinks Delilah deserved to be dead because she's the cause of people's deaths, wouldn't I be in the same situation, being the cause for her dead? Wouldn't this make me to a murderer, too?  Like this, we were arguing a few times, always when I tried to bring Delilah up but one time I really put his nerves to a test!

“Don’t strike my nerves, Hyomi. I can’t forget what happened if you pick a fight every.single.day.” Kris and I were watching a movie when I carefully had tried to bring that topic up, I hadn't mentioned her name at all but Kris was so sensitive this day I shrugged back as he put his arm around me away and stood up to walk out of the living room. I didn’t know what to say at all, I just saw how he went toward the door and hastily stood up and set the popcorn aside on the table, the package falling to the floor as I missed the table, left popcorn everywhere on the floor while I hasten to follow him to the door. I threw myself with my back against the door he wanted to open, facing him angrily about his stupid idea to leave me without a word. “Were you just about to leave!?” I asked offended but he only tried to push me away when I quickly turned the keys in the lock and hid them behind my back. “I really don’t have the strengths for this today.” he sighed and ruffled his hair frustrated but I really didn’t know what his problem was, I didn’t mention her name! “What is your problem? I wasn’t speaking of her! You only think I’m always speaking of her but I’m not…” He put his hand out and showed me his palm. “Give me the keys.” he ordered but I didn’t even think about giving him anything if he was playing the over reacting kid inside my house! He stepped near and I held the keys close in my hands and pressed myself against the door so he would not try to get the keys and leave “Give them to me or I need to get them.” he said in a low voice and I gasped from the way his voice sounded too serious and shook my head in silence.
Was he frightening me!? “Just tell me what your problem is, Kris!” I said as he pulled the door handle down, useless because it was locked anyway and grit his teeth – he slowly lost his patience.

With a hiss, he left the handle and urged me into the corner. “You are the problem right now.” he growled and something cold rushed up my body, a feeling that let me bit my tongue before a helpless sob escaped me and my heart filled with sadness first, taken over by anger a second later. It was unfair to blame his bad temper on me! “You only pursue a line of argument like you want, isn’t it!? So know I’m the problem!? Why? Just because you can’t let out your anger toward Delilah you need to hurt me now instead? Really, Kris? Well, do it! Why not? Hurt me! If you will calm down your over reacting behavior again than let it out on me. Dare it!” I spit at the person I was five minutes ago snuggling on the sofa and laughing about the funny movie we watched, the same person who shivered now in anger right in front of me as he heard my provoking tease. His eyes grew big of my words and I finally got him to listen at me. Those words were sharp like a knife but to bring Kris down again I didn’t see any other options. He walked to me, grabbed me by my waist and pulled me back to the wall, his arm resting next to me against the wall as he bent down to me “What do you want to say with that, Hyomi!?” he said with a husky, warning voice, his eyes looking fierce down on me. I gulped hard and was mad with myself as I heard how afraid I sounded when I raised my voice “Y-you understood me right, don’t you!?”. I didn’t allow myself to be scared of him, that was what he tried me to feel like but he won't give up this time. “Say it again.” He forced me but I shook my head and he came even closer.

A hot shiver tickled my spine and gave me goose bumps. Our eyes fought for a while in silence, Kris pressed his lips to a thin line and looked that frightening at me that my knees almost gave in, his strong appearance boiled my blood. I finally gave in as I couldn’t look at those scaring sharp eyes anymore and looked down to my feet. “I-I will tell you. Listen carefully this time so I won’t have to repeat myself.” I said after a while. With my heart in my mouth I suddenly pushed his chest with both arms away from me, giving space between us and I gasped as I felt like holding back my air for too long. With my fingers that close around the keys that my knuckles went white I started: “Why is it so hard for you to forgive? If I can forgive her, why can’t you too? I don’t believe she was that bad in person. She behaved bad, I don’t deny that, but why do you need to hate her whole existence? I made mistakes too but nobody is painting the devil on the wall and says to me I’m a bad person. If you can’t forgive her you will never be able to look at me without feeling the slightest bit of hesitation, without live to regret loving me. Until you won’t be aware of that what I’m telling you know, I’m not able to give up on her. Somehow, I feel responsible to defend her! Why can’t you forgive her and let her rest in peace?” If my words would be stones, I was throwing rocks at him.

The air was hot and heavy, short enough to let a spark burst out into an inferno. I was not aware with whom I’m talking to, or I didn’t care. My hands and forehead were sweaty and Kris' hand was hot as he grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward him, holding me tight with his hand and I hissed “Why are you doing this, huh!? Do you really want me to hurt you?” he growled and didn’t expect me to nod as I did. “If that’s what can make you happy again – do it! Do what ever you want but I don’t want to watch you longer how you destroy yourself with your hate! I won’t stop and stare any longer! Please hurt me instead! I watched you long enough, I’m helplessly watching you for too long now, I’m fed up! You’re the one striking my nerves, I’m so fed up.” I screamed at him and I had no idea what he would do to me, I didn’t even cared I just wanted him to know that he wasn’t the only one in pain. I gasped as he wrapped his arms around me, his hot feverish body against mine until I felt the heat everywhere. His arms around me almost lifted me up, that desperately he was holding on to me like I had held the keys before, which dropped to the floor with a short jangle. His hands shivered as his fingers wandered to my neck, grabbed me and harshly pushed my chin up, his exhale on my chin and I watched how he fought again with himself.

Before his lips locked with mine I was afraid he would now hurt me, for what I dared to let those lips escape but he kissed me with so much care, that soft and slight I believed I only kissed his exhale. With his lips on mine his thumb released his pressure on my chin, wandered up my cheek to my neck, down my spine in slow, soft moves, leaving shivers all way down on me. Instead of heat I felt warmth, instead of squeezing my body, his arms lied carefully around me. His whole body released its pressure and relaxed in this one soft kiss and I opened my eyes to be sure it was still Kris in front of me kissing me like this. His tense end in smoke like my anger fled into nowhere with a sigh which I didn’t know if it came from me or him as our lips parted. “Never dare to say this again." he mumbled against my temple and I apologized over and over again. "You’re everything I have, don't dare to tell me to hurt you.”
After this Kris’ mood turned 180°. He was every day almost suspiciously happy. At first I loved to see him like this but at some point I was wondering what made him smiling like that all the time that much. “It’s you, of course. You’re always the reason I smile.” He said to me and I made a face “Cheesy. That’s really not fitting you!” and laughed but he only raised his eyebrow and grinned back.
~
We had a little party at Joonmyun's house with all together, some of Leeteuks werewolf pack had visited us too, Taeyeon, Tiffany, Sunny and Seohyun were there, and Leeteuk, Siwon and Ryeowook were chatting with the others. Tiffany always sat Taeyeon and Baekhyun together and made a game out of it to once and then push her friend toward Baekhyun so their shoulders touched and Taeyeon looked angrily at Tiffany while Baekhyun snickered embarrassed. While they had their fun that way Chen and C