I went home past MD, Erik and I hang out. As usual, all lights were out when I got home, the doors are locked too. I decided to just sleep in my space instead. I took the key my step mother gave, I open the door and I still cannot believe how awesome this space looks now with all the furniture added on it, it even has its own bathroom. My step mother said that the old man had some friend built it thinking it will be more convenient for me if I am going to use it as my own room… ah! The old man was really trying to kick me out of the house. I guess it’s all good, I would have moved out of the house just the same. I fell asleep watching DVD.

I just recently closed my eyes, when someone bang at my door as if wanting to break it “Who the ?” I jumped up with my head still spinning, I looked at the time and it is barely 5 am. I decided to pound whoever is knocking at my door. I jerk the door open; unfortunately I was not able to measure the distance of my body from the door that I hit my face hard. I feel there is blood running through my forehead, déjà vu. I was agonizing in pain with both my hand in my forehead as if that would stop the bleeding, “Where have you been? We have been trying to reach you all day yesterday!” Barbie said with a croak in her voice like she is about to cry. I was able to take a peek of her face and her eyes are swollen. I’ve never seen such an ugly sight; it is making my heart sway from hating her. She turned her back on me and told me to come to the house. I am not sure what was going on, but I followed without much of a fuss. The devils daughter looked so weak, I thought while I stared at her back as she walks in front of me.

As I step through the houses door, I felt a stabbing pain in my chest, I wanted to run away. Step mother was sitting at the corner of the room, with her back all slump like she is about to faint. She looked at me with swollen eyes, open like she wanted to say something but then closes it again. I looked at her frail state, I wanted to ask but I was too scared to get an answer. Barbie walked over to her mother and holds her hand while I just stood there frozen. I can feel my heart starting to beat louder and louder, it is almost deafening. Step mother was refusing to meet my eyes; my heart was getting weaker every minute. I knew I have to escape. As I turned to walk away, my step mother stood up immediately and abruptly said “Your father’s dead” I turned around just as fast with a wide smile on my face “Well, Isn’t that some good news” my step mothers hand went flying to my face, her fingernails manage to pierce through my cheeks.

 I opened my eyes and stared at the clock beside my bed, it is almost one in the afternoon. How I got to my room is a mystery to me. I turned upside, staring at the ceiling. My cheeks still burns from the slap I got from my step mother. My body felt heavy just like my heart. I know I should be sad, I know I should be crying… but I shed not a single tear, all I feel is exhaustion.

It’s been a week since the old man was buried. Step mother took care of everything but she has not spoken a word since she slapped me. Erik comes every now and then to see how I am doing. I just laughed his concern off, why would I not be okay? “This is great, I don’t have to go to school for at least another week” Erik just looked at me with his shoulder lumping over his body. He took a deep breath “I am going to school but if you need anything call me, okay. I mean it” I really don’t get why Erik worry about me when he knows I have little, if none at all, affection towards the old man. I took a deep sigh. My mother died when I was born, my grandmother died when I was two… I think it is quite inevitable that the old man is the next in line. I am after all surrounded by death. Because of that idiot Erik my heart is now burdened. Every time he ask whether I am doing okay the more heavy my heart weighs, I feel like it is about to collapse. I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling, breathing heavily as if that could somehow makes my chest feel a bit lighter. I close my eyes blaming Erik for this rigorous emotion circling through my entire body.

I open my eyes in darkness. The sun has set without me knowing, I guess I’ve fall asleep with all those thinking. I should be hungry… but I feel nothing. The slump back of the old man keeps showing in my head. I shook my head to temporarily erase the image in my mind… Then I notice a sack at the corner of my space, now I call my room. Since the old man was buried, I seldom step inside the house. Before I realize it, I was already at the corner of my room checking out what is beneath the dusty sack that I did not notice until now.