A/N: I had FEELS!! omg! MID is one of my favourite songs of EXO

don't cry guys~ (but i did)

Forty Eight – Winter Miracle

Kyungsoo looked at the mirror for one last time. It’s funny because even he’s looking at himself, at his reflection—he’s imagining that the person in front of him have glasses, round yet thin, with wine red hair and smiling at him. But reality wasn’t so nice—that person would only exist now in his memories, in his heart.

He would never see him again—never hear him sing again, hell, he didn’t even know his brother could sing so good until they did that karaoke gig that Christmas Day. Kyungsoo reflected on many things—why were sorry’s meant for the end? Why must pain come first before one could learn?

Can he go back to the time when D.O just came back in the Korea? Back when D.O first tried to talk to him but he locked the door? Back when he would notice the change in D.O’s behaviour because of his illness? Back in their birthday party where he destroyed everything—Back in the airport, where he could convince his brother to let him come with him to Los Angeles?

Fresh warm tears pooled his eyes, dropping one by one, tracing his cheeks. Now might not be the exact date where he and D.O was born, but this was the date they were going to celebrate it, together with his lover, and his brother’s lover.

Although there were countless of times that he kept reminding himself what Kai told him—that none of what happened was his fault. But deep inside him, he’s still crying—crying because of loneliness, crying because of guilt. Because for him, even though he still have Baekhyun that he could treat as a brother, or Chanyeol—because they’ve been nothing but good to him—and he has parents that kept on supporting him—a lover who never fails to make him happy—there’s still a hole inside his heart that no one but his twin brother could fill.

Not everyone in this world was gifted another person who’ll look like you, or live on the same day with you since you start forming in your mother’s womb.

“Hyung…” he whispered, as he took the picture of him and his brother—it was their last new year together. He should’ve cherished it more back then. His body started to shake, and his tears dropped on the picture. He was holding a recorder, thinking of preserving what he has to say because who knows, maybe in his sleep, D.O would visit him and play the recorder. Sounds silly but still—he clicked the button.

 “H-Hyung, happy…happy birthday.” Kyungsoo traced his fingers on the image of his brother. “I-…I’m sorry, I’m sorry for everything… for being such a brat… for being unaware of everything but my selfish needs. I didn’t know… I should have seen…I should have noticed that you—you were…suffering, that you were dying. I should have been the one who supported you, because you did the same for me. You were the only person who stood beside me whenever I feel down or angry—because, because you know me, you know me best. I love you hyung… T-Thank you for everything, p-please wherever you are, can I ask for one more request?” Kyungsoo clutched the picture in his chest, and sobbed, “Can I have one more gift from you? I’ll accept it, no matter what you’ll give me. Please?”

Kai, behind the door covered his mouth to prevent him from voicing out his cries. Kyungsoo was still hurting, and he chose to bury it deep down inside. He’s still hurting yet—he didn’t want anyone to see it, he didn’t want anyone to worry.

Just like D.O.

Sliding on the floor, Kai buried his face on his hands, crying silently. Kyungsoo…

*

Kyungsoo rushed downstairs after washing his face. With a smile plastered on it, he looked at Chanyeol and Baekhyun who were fixing each other’s clothes. They were preparing for the party that will start 30 minutes from now. Kai stormed out of the bathroom with a pout, “Kyungie~ can you fix my sleeves?” he asked for he couldn’t fold the button up long sleeves he’s wearing.

Kyungsoo went to his aid and began fixing his lover’s sleeves, sweet smile touching his lips. Kai was watching him with gentle and loving eyes, hands resting on his lover’s waist.

“Kyungie…” the elder hummed. “This is our party, so no matter what, enjoy it and be happy.” He said. Kyungsoo snuggled on Kai’s neck after he finished folding the sleeves. “I still feel lonely though.”

“He’ll be watching you, I assure you that.”

“Guys! It’s time for us to leave,” Chanyeol called from downstairs. They held each other’s hands and went out of the house. Kyungsoo brought the recorder with him, thinking he’ll just put it in their waiting room.

*

Their party wasn’t like their party 2 years ago where there was loud music, teens in heat on the loose everywhere, liquor and . This was more sophisticated, and formal. Inside the hotel suite where their party would be held were round tables covered with fine linen cloth, tableware’s arranged and bouquets of flowers in the centre of the table.

There were bundles of balloons that became the pillar before the stage, red curtains covering the walls and red carpet on the centre aisle. In front, there were the sound systems, a long table for the celebrators and families. There were also a wide screen behind them, where they would play some videos of him and Kai and of course Jongin and D.O.

Most of the visitors were his dad’s friends, colleagues in business, Kai and Jongin’s family and their cousins. Kyungsoo, together with Kai, Baekhyun and Chanyeol were in the waiti