Put your name in the _____ places!

Enjoy!

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          For the past few weeks, I've been visiting with several doctors about the surgery I need and the side effects afterwards. The "cure" that was discovered isn't necessarily what is defined as a cure. From what I've been told, I will be in a lot pain when I leave the hospital, and I'd still be on oxygen for another month or longer after the surgery. As the doctors explained what they had to do, I cringed. I could already feel and hear everything as they described what had to be removed or added. No wonder I'd be in so much pain. Anyway, to dumb it down, they have to go inside my lungs and put in some kind of device that prevents fluids from building up or entering. Almost like a pacemaker regulates heart beats. I don't know exactly how it works, but it should stop all pain I get from regular CF symptoms after a few months. Taehyung is worried about the after effects but it's worth it. I don't want to carry this oxygen tank around my entire life; I can handle a few more weeks or months if I have to. If the surgery is successful, I can start dancing again. I can actually do something with my life rather than sit in my studio and paint until I run out of inspiration. I don't want to have to depend on someone or something for the rest of life. I don't want to have to go back forth between my own home and the hospital which could've eventually been the only home I could have. And most of all, I don't want to worry Taehyung anymore. I've only known him for about three months, dating for about two months, and he's already taking care of me like a husband would take care of his old, ill wife. He shouldn't have to put all of his time on me because I'm sick. I shouldn't depend on him to take care of me, and he shouldn't feel obligated to take care of me. All in all, this could benefit us all. I can finally do what I want to my new limits.

          "You know, if you think this surgery will make me love you more than I already do, you're wrong. I mean the surgery will be great for you, but I don't want you to think that your illness is holding me back from loving you. I hate being all serious and stuff, but you do you. CF is a part of you, and it always will, and I love every part of you," Taehyung would say then kiss my forehead. He's such a mushball but it made me love him even more. I figured he was right, but I knew what I wanted to do, and my choice was the surgery.

          Today I would be finalizing the paperwork for surgery and medicines needed after. "_____, there's one thing we need to completely finalize your surgery. We need another signature that is not yours," my doctor said. I looked at Taehyung, who insisted on going to every meeting, and pointed to him. The doctor shook his head. "We need your biological parents to sign it off." My blood boiled at the thought of seeing them again. Why should they have to sign the papers? They left me to do this on my own. "I know you haven't had a great past with your family, but, by law, we need parental consent for a surgery like this. Being an adult and signing your own papers is not enough in this case. If you would like, we can call them for you, and you won't have to speak to them unless they ask for you."

          "And what if they ask to speak with me and they refuse to sign? What will I do then," I asked.

          "Technically, you could sue them, or we'd have to find a loophole to finalize your paperwork. Would you like us to call them sometime today?"

          "Yes, but I-"

         "May I call them instead," Taehyung asked. My head turned to him, my eyes on fire with anger. The last thing I want is for him to meet my God-awful parents. "I just want to talk to them."

          "Well, if you are okay with that, _____, that would be allowed." I silently shook my head. The doctor nodded his head to me and left the room to make the phone call. Taehyung turned to me with an angry look in his eyes that I tried so hard to avoid.

          "You hate them that much that you don't want them to even meet me? To prove to them you're doing much better without them? Are you afraid of them? You may not agree, but I want to show them what they've missed out on, and that's watching a beautiful girl grow into a mature, gorgeous woman. Your parents don't realize what they left behind. You are the most important person to me, and they should know that you are loved by someone."

          "They've already made their point clear: they don't care. They didn't care about me, my future, or my illness. All my parents wanted to do was make my brothers successful. Neither one of my brothers tried to contact me either. None of them care about me. I had been flying solo until I met Soo Jin, then you and the boys. I'd like it to stay that way." Taehyung grasped my hand, probably trying to make me look into his eyes, but I won't, because I was on the verge of spilling tears. He apologized over and over but I couldn't process his apologies in my head. Then the doctor walked back into the room several minutes later and Taehyung sat up right, ready to listen.

          "Well I convinced them to come tomorrow, but they asked to see you. I told them how you felt, but your mother said they wouldn't come unless they can see you. I agreed to it, but you do not have to say anything to them. You don't even have to be in the same room as them. All that matters is that they're coming. Go ahead and get some rest at home," he said, opening the door for Taehyung and I. Taehyung grabbed my hand and led me out the door, bowing to the doctor as we left.

          As soon as we reached my house, I went to my room and laid in bed. I didn't sleep. I didn't close my eyes long enough to doze off. I simply laid there, mentally and emotionally preparing myself for tomorrow and the surgery. I could care less about my parents coming, and I was a little scared to see them. I don't know why, but I've always feared them. I guess because knowing a person doesn't like you is like knowing someone is out to hurt you. Eventually I dozed off, until I felt someone climb onto my bed. I knew it was Taehyung, so I decided to go back to sleep. "Everything will be alright," Taehyung whispered before kissing my temple. Everything will be as long as I have you.