N sat in his bed, waiting for his ghost to show up. He could feel the cold chill, but he couldn’t see anything. He was in no rush, so he decided to wait until the ghost was ready to appear before saying anything. It allowed him time to get his thoughts together.

“You saved her life,” the ghost finally said, appearing beside him.

“I finally got to save someone,” N sighed, “I was lucky.”

“You were,” the ghost nodded, “but a lot of things come down to luck, so don’t get upset over it.”

“You sound like a father,” N smiled slightly, “not that I would know. My dad was never around.”

“What happened to him?” the ghost asked, looking curious. It occurred to N that this was the most coherent the ghost had ever been, but he didn’t pay the thought much mind.

“He ran off,” N sighed, “I guess he didn’t want to be a dad because he ran as soon as my mom told him she was pregnant.”

“I’m sure he regrets it,” the ghost told him, “you’re a strong young man, Cha Hakyeon. You’ll do great things, I know.”

“I’m not special,” N frowned, “why does everyone seem to think I am lately? Is it because I’m a changeling? Because I don’t think that makes me all that important.”

“Maybe they can just see your potential,” the ghost shrugged, “you aren’t giving yourself enough credit.”

“Have you figured out who you are yet?” N asked, purposefully changing the subject.

“I was an agent,” the ghost told him, “I think I was a good one, too. Kris, Sori, Yuri, and Hyuna all seemed to like me anyway.”

“Wait,” N frowned, “you knew Kris, Sori, Yuri, and Hyuna when they were little?”

“I met them when they were about six or seven,” the ghost replied, “they didn’t like me at first, but you couldn’t hold that against them. Not with everything they had been put through. Yuri started to trust me first thanks to her power. Then Hyuna decided she liked me. That girl always did like to see the good in people, no matter how many times she’s been hurt. Kris and Sori took the longest, their ability to trust had already been beaten almost to the point of no return.”

“I thought Jihu was the one they trusted,” N voiced, “They never mentioned anyone else.”

“I left them,” the ghost explained, “I was ordered on a job so I wished them well and left. I promised to come back, but I didn’t. I think that Sori took it rather hard. She viewed me as a second father.”

“Why didn’t you come back?”

“I can’t remember that part,” the ghost smiled sadly, “but I do know I felt a lot of pain. If they never talk about me, it must be because they think I abandoned them. I can see the ISBIP telling them that. Saying I defected or no longer held interest in them.”

“Are you the older guy Sori dreams about?” N asked, recalling a comment Kris had made before parents’ day. It seemed like ages ago and N was a little surprised he remembered it.

“Maybe,” the ghost shrugged, “as I said, we were close. She might dream about me, her brain asking ‘what happened to oppa’ even though she doesn’t want to know.”

“Kris recognized you,” N said, “when I blasted a hole in the balcony. I described you and he seemed to know who you were.”

“He’s probably forgotten about it,” the ghost shrugged, “there have been a lot of things going on as of late, he probably deemed my identity unimportant and hasn’t thought about it again.”

“They should know you didn’t abandon them,” N said, “They have a right to know.”

“I want them to know,” the ghost nodded, “but only when I know what happened myself. I can’t even remember my full name yet, just my first. Biho. I want to tell them when I know why I didn’t return to them like I promised. Please do this for me.”

“Alright,” N nodded, “I’ll wait until you remember everything.” The ghost smiled before vanishing.

“He’s gone?” N turned to find Sori poking her head through the partly open door.

“Yeah,” N nodded, “how much did you hear?”

“Enough to know that Biho oppa didn’t willingly leave us,” she replied, “It’s kind of comforting and disturbing to know that.”

“He doesn’t remember everything,” N pointed out, “just that you were close and that he didn’t return from his last mission.”

“He’s how they got Kris,” Sori told him, taking a seat beside him on the bed, “they promised him information about Biho if he became an agent and he couldn’t say no.”

“I want to know what happened to him,” N said, “and how it fits in with everything else.”

“I have an idea,” she said, “but I don’t like it.”

“Tell me.”

“Either the mission was fake, a trap, or he was captured,” Sori explained her theory, “either way they probably tortured him, trying to turn him to their side. When that didn’t work, they just let him be, waiting until he could be useful. Then they killed him. Either he lost value or he knew too much or was killed trying to escape. He found you and here we are.”

“There’s another theory,” N hesitated to say it, but he had to, “he could have been working for our enemy willingly. They killed him when he realized they were going to kill you and Yuri. Probably Kris too. He couldn’t let that happen and they killed him before he could warn you.”

“I want to say you’re wrong,” Sori frowned, “I want to believe he wouldn’t betray us. But I have no proof. And if he turned traitor, it would explain the ISBIP not telling us anything.”

“There are so many things going on,” he sighed, “it’s hard to keep track of everything and everyone’s loyalties.”

“I agree,” she nodded, “but know you can trust me, alright?”

“I know,” he nodded, smiling lightly, “I never doubted you for a second.”

“I’m sorry for lashing out,” Sori said, looking very ashamed, “when Yuri was shot. I said a lot of things I shouldn’t have said. I was angry and hit a boiling point. I miss directed my anger at you and I should never have done that.”

“It’s alright,” N assured her, “I should have worked harder to find out who the first target was.”

“No,” Sori frowned, “you are not to blame in all of this. So don’t blame yourself.”

“Fine,” he said after a long moment, “but you can’t blame yourself for lashing out either.”

“So you refuse my apology?”

“Since you’re refusing mine.”

“I don’t apologize often,” she pointed out, “you should really accept it while I’m offering it.”

“True,” he nodded, “but I’m still refusing.”

“Fine,” Sori sighed, “have it your way.”

The pair fell silent.

“Sori?” N asked.

“Yes?”

“Will we be ok?” he asked her, “with this war and everything. You’ve almost died once and Yuri came even closer. How many more brushes of death are we going to have before we need a casket and a grave?”

“I have no idea,” Sori sighed sadly, “this is war. People die. Lives are lost on both sides.” She turned to look N in the eye, “but I swear I will not let you become one of those lost lives.”

“I’m worried,” N admitted, “I’m scared for Leo and Ken. I’m scared for Ravi, Hongbin, and Hyuk. I’m scared for you and Kris. Luhan and Suho. Chen and Hyoyeon. I’m scared for everyone.”

“I’m scared, too,” Sori told him, “we just need to hope for the best and prepare for the worst.”

“I don’t want to die.”

“I’m not going to let you.”

“I don’t want you to die.”

“I’m not going to let that happen either.”

A/N: so we now know who the ghost is. Tell me, who thought it would be an ISBIP agent they were close to? It does tie everything together rather nicely, doesn’t it? And a nice N-Sori moment in here, too.