CHAPTER 42 - THE PAIN THAT KILLS

 

“Wookie, please…I’m sorry if I ever did something wrong. Just tell me. I’ll apologize, as many as you want. I’ll kneel down.” He gets on his knees right away, “Just…stop ignoring me like this. Please…” he pleads.

 

Ryeowook stares at him without any emotion of retort. Yesung on the other hand was very anxious waiting for her response. Sungmin who is also there clenched her hand tight, praying for at least their effort succeed this time. Their eyes brightened immediately when they see Ryeowook’s hand slowly reached for him. But, just before it arrived towards Yesung’s hand, a gush of feelings attacked Ryeowook out of sudden. She clasped with both hands and hurriedly ran towards the bathroom.

 

Astonished by the sudden turn out of event, Yesung and Sungmin chased after her, panicked.

 

“Wookie?!” Yesung knocked on the door.

 

“What happened?! Are you okay?!” Sungmin was frantic.

 

“Baby?!!” they are panicked even more when they heard sounds of Ryeowook throwing out from the other side.

 

“Wookie, please!” They yelled but still wait outside, totally frightened what is happening inside.

 

After the longest seconds of waiting, slowly the door creaked open and appeared a pale white Ryeowook.

 

“Wookie, are you okay?” Sungmin asked worriedly.

 

“Sungminie?” she called weakened, with her sights get blurry, “I think…I’m…”

 

“RYEOWOOK!!” they screamed her name as Ryeowook falls limping in Yesung’s arms.

 

Without wasting any minute, Yesung holds Ryeowook and lifted her. They quickly took her towards the hospital. Ryeowook immediately examined after being rushed by a panic Yesung and Sungmin. She wakes up minutes later after the examination but still pushed Yesung from sitting close to her. Not giving up, Yesung forced himself to stay. He don’t think his heart be able to handle such shock again. They waited nervously for the doctor to speak about the results.

 

“Congratulations Mr Han and Miss Lee.” The doctor congratulated them suddenly, “Mrs Han is four weeks pregnant.” He informed.

 

Their time froze automatically.

 

“What…what did you just say doctor?”

 

“Errr…she’s…pregnant?” the doctor hesitantly repeated his words.

 

Yesung and Sungmin blinked. They blinked one, two, three and even more after that, while processing the information inside.

 

 Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant.

 

That one word echoed inside their head, repeated itself again and over again. For sure, they are still in big surprise.

 

“I’m pregnant.” Ryeowook’s small voice wakes Yesung and Sungmin from their astonishment.

 

They looked at Ryeowook and each other back forth. After the longest time of thought, a smile finally spread on their lips.

 

“AHH!!” they screamed on top of their lung and hugged.

 

All the people inside the hospital jumped from their stands by the shout.

 

“Mansae! Mansae! Mansae!” they cheered, jumping happily doesn’t give a damn care of other people there.

 

Ryeowook laughed softly, amused by their childlike reaction. The doctors and nurses on the other hand, were flustered by their overreaction. They tried to calm Yesung and Sungmin down but to no avail at all. Ignoring the excited family members, Ryeowook’s hand slowly touches her stomach.

 

I’m…pregnant. She told herself mentally with eyes glistening with tears by the amazing feelings she felt inside. Yesung and Sungmin came forward and crushed her into a tight hug. The three of them laughed happily with their foreheads glued to each other. Nothing in the world can compare to what they are feelings now.

 

“We should tell the whole world!” Yesung suggested.

 

“Oh! Good idea oppa!” Sungmin excitedly agreed, thumbing up.

 

“What?! No!” And Ryeowook protested hardly.

 

“No? WHY?!” they whined by the protest.

 

Ryeowook heaves a sigh, tired. It’s going to be difficult for her after this, she reprimanded herself.

 

 

 

 

Kyuhyun arrived at his brother’s office but was disappointed to see an empty table of Sungmin greeting him. He sighed.

 

“Hyung, where’s Sungmin?” he asked his brother directly.

 

“Sungmin? EL.” Answered Kangin casually.

 

Kyuhyun’s eyes widened, startled by the answer, “EL? Emergency leave? Why?” he asked anxiously.

 

Kangin chuckled, “There’s nothing bad happen, Kyuhyun, rest assure.” The elder said.

 

“Eh? Then?”

 

“Sungmin called me this morning and asked for two days emergency leave. She’s leaving to China this morning with her family, Yesung-hyung and Ryeowook.”

 

“W…what? China?” Kangin nodded, “Hah? Why on earth are they gathering there out of sudden?” Kyuhyun asked, for more explanation.

 

“Yesung-hyung’s parents lived in China, Kyuhyun.” Kangin told the latter, “And it appears that by what Sungmin told me, it has been clinically approved that Ryeowook is four weeks pregnant.”

 

Kyuhyun gawked, with mouth hangs open and eyes big staring at his brother.

 

“Pregnant?” he repeated aloud, “The got married not three months ago!”

 

“Yes. And I just say four weeks right? Which means only two months. So, she certainly got pregnant after they’re married.” Kangin explained.

 

“Wow.” Kyuhyun said in amazement, “Honeymoon baby?” he said and with a shrug from Kangin, he is sure about it.

 

A laugh erupted, breaking the silence inside Kangin’s office.

 

“Seriously, that’s amusing. I can’t believe that Yesung-hyung is in a rush to get a child. They are not that old right?”

 

“Different people have different preference, Kyuhyun. Moreover, I sort of understand their feelings a bit.”

 

“Which is?”

 

“Yesung-hyung and Ryeowook is both an only child in the family. So, they must have been wishing to add a new member to their family.” Explained Kangin.

 

Kyuhyun nodded, accepts the reason.

 

“Furthermore, from the voice I heard, it seems Sungmin is the happiest about this happy news.” Kangin added.

 

“You bet. She is possessive, remember?”

 

The brothers laughed at Kyuhyun’s joke together. It is not a secret to say that Sungmin’s love towards Ryeowook is more than a deep blue sea. So, of course her happiness is expected.

 

 

 

 

“China? What do you mean China?” Siwon asked, obviously confused by Sungmin’s sudden info.

 

“Like I said just now, I’m celebrating Wookie’s pregnancy here with Yeye’s family. So, I’m staying here with them.” Sungmin explained to her lover again.

 

She knew that it was very sudden for her to travel that far unnoticed for Siwon. That’s why she volunteered to tell him beforehand. She knows that Siwon got many connections around, so before he found out about her from someone else, she thought it’s better if she tell his first hand.

 

“How long are you staying then?”

 

Sungmin wakes up from her trance that she didn’t realize having from Siwon’s voice.

 

“Only two days, oppa. I’m going back tomorrow’s night after dinner.” Replied Sungmin, with a smile plastered on here, “Don’t tell me you already miss me.” She .

 

Sungmin heard chuckles from the other line.

 

“Of course I miss you, baby.” Siwon admitted, “Two days without meeting you will be a hell for me.” He complained.

 

Sungmin giggled, “Really? Said the person who always leaves me for an outstation work.” Mocked Sungmin jokingly.

 

“Ah. Sungminie~~” Siwon wined to which once again make Sungmin laugh.

 

She can almost picture the way Siwon look by the voice she heard.

 

“Sorry for teasing, oppa.” She comforted him, “But you know I mean no harm right?”

 

“Hee…I know. I love you so much, baby.” He confessed, openly.

 

“Me too, oppa. I love you too.” Sungmin replied with the same confession and Siwon’s heart immediately flowered by the happiness he got.

 

They chatted for more, releasing all the longing that he’s going to miss later. After that, their call ended with Siwon’s congratulated Yesung’s happy news.

 

 

 

 

The Lee and Han family has been very busy on the same day. After receiving the news of getting new family member, they gathered together as proposed by Yesung in China. Even Sungjin who is far away studying being kidnapped suddenly by the family and forced to join. Well, it is a happy occasion for them all.

 

“Yeye-hyung, congratulations.” Sungjin applauds the man, taking a seat.

 

Yesung grinned widely.

 

“Thanks. It’s a good thing we found out about it earlier. We were on huge fight, you know.”

 

“Fight? Why?”

 

“Hormones.” Yesung whispered the word to Sungjin’s ears to avoid from his wife listening.

 

Sungjin laughed.

 

“Seriously hyung, you’re funny.” He mocked, didn’t believe in it.

 

“But, it is the truth. In fact, on the day before we found out about the pregnancy thing, Wookie ran away from home and hide herself in Sungmin’s house.” Yesung explained more, to support his statement.

 

Sungjin blinked in confusion.

 

“She did?”

 

Yesung nodded frantically.

 

“You should see how scary she was when I went to look for her. And that’s also for no absolute reason AT ALL!” He strengthened, pouring out all his frustration to the younger.

 

Sungjin gaped in processing the information.

 

His noona was angry? His sweet Wookie noona is actually scary when she’s angry? That’s very unusual and rare. He thought inside.

 

“Believe me. Or, you can just ask your Minnie noona. She’s the witness for everything.”

 

A laugh erupted from Sungjin. To put his Minnie noona into the talk, it seems that it wasn’t just a talk after all.

 

“Anyway, have you thought of a name?”

 

Yesung shakes his head left and right.

 

“Eh? Why?”

 

“It’s still early. But, we’ve decided a nickname.”

 

“Oh really? What is it?”

 

“Ask them.” Yesung puckered his lips pointing at two women walking towards them, none other than Sungmin and his wife.

 

“Noona?”

 

“Sorry for the wait. We made some treats.” Ryeowook announced and served the treats on the table in front of them.

 

“Woooww…cake! What flavor, noona?” Sungjin cheered, already taking a bit of the said treat.

 

“It’s carrot. My dear oppa here doesn’t like sweets so much, remember?” Sungmin reprimanded.

 

Yesung chuckles sheepishly, “True on that. Here, sit.” He pulled the chair for them to sit.

 

“So, what did you talk about?”

 

“About the  baby, of course.”

 

“My baby? Why?” Ryeowook asked back.

 

“Nothing. I just forget to say my congratulations.”

 

Ryeowook laughed lightly by the remark, “Thank you so much my sweet dongsaeng.” She said, adding a pinch on his chubby cheeks.

 

Sungjin grinned by the affectionate.

 

“So, noona, what’s the baby nickname? Yeye said you already got one.”

 

Sungmin and Ryeowook looked at each other and grinned.

 

“D.O.” they said in perfect sync and tone.

 

Sungjin frowned.

 

“The meaning?”

 

“It means ‘Da One’. I know you must been thinking about how weird it sound. But, I think it is special in its own way. This is our first baby and he is very special to us, so we decided to call him that. Isn’t it neat?” Ryeowook explained.

 

“Right~~” Sungmin sang agreeing.

 

“Him? A boy? How come you’re already so sure that it’s going to be a ‘he’?”

 

“Woman intuition!” Sungmin and Ryeowook replied in perfect sync.

 

“Ehhh...that’s weird. What if it turned out to be a girl? Will you call her D.O too?” Sungjin retorted, still curious.

 

Ryeowook hummed, “Well, it’s no choice then. D.O it is. What’s important is the baby’s health. What nickname we call, it doesn’t matter. Furthermore, we can change it if the baby doesn’t like it.” She explained, making some sense, finally.

 

Sungmin by her side nodded few times, agree to everything she said.

 

“You too, hyung?” Sungjin gave the question to the father of the child.

 

“Um? What?” Yesung turned to him, mouth full with cake.

 

“The name, D.O. Do you agree on that nickname?”

 

Yesung shrugged, “I have too. It doesn’t harm anyone anyway. D.O is a good name and has a good meaning too. Moreover, our fortune teller already certain that we’re going to get a baby boy. So, I don’t really mind.” He speaks out his mind.

 

Sungjin laughed softly, “Seriously, you’re so weird that I don’t even have any point to argue back anymore. I should call for lawyer Henry to help me.” He joked, making all of them laughed together.

 

 

 

 

After coming back from China, Sungmin once again received congratulation from both Kangin and Kyuhyun. They teased Sungmin about Yesung being speedy but Sungmin doesn’t feel affected at all. In fact, she is happy that Yesung didn’t make a family planning. It’s a truth to say that she’s the one excited the most for the upcoming baby.

 

“Ah!”

 

Sungmin yelped suddenly and shocked Kyuhyun who is inside the elevator together with her.

 

“What? What is it?” he asked her, a bit frantic by the sudden shriek.

 

Sungmin turned to him and laughed sheepishly.

 

“I left…my phone on the table.” Replied her with a grin.

 

Kyuhyun huffed a sigh, “Seriously. You scared me.” He nagged.

 

Sungmin just respond her with a child laugh.

 

“What are you going to do now?” Kyuhyun asked, with the elevator door opened on the nick of time, “Want me to accompany you back up?”

 

Sungmin right away shook her head, “No thank you. You can leave first Kyu. Siwon oppa is already here to fetch me home.”

 

“Ah but…”

 

“Go on.” Sungmin pushed Kyuhyun lightly and waved at him without listening to the other.

 

Kyuhyun just sigh at Sungmin’s attic. He walked away from there and notices the person Sungmin just said, Choi Siwon, not too far from the front gate. He thought of leaving it to that but thinking it as courtesy, he approached Siwon and greeted him.

 

“Where’s Sungmin?” Siwon straight away asked, already showing sign of not liking Kyuhyun.

 

Kyuhyun keeps his chuckle inside, “She went to get her phone.” He replied simply.

 

Siwon hummed and looked away.

 

Kyuhyun looked at Siwon with the corner of his eyes, “You’ve been fetching Sungmin a lot after the trip? Why? Don’t tell me you’re still jealous of me and hyung.” He mocked at the man.

 

Siwon glared at him immediately.

 

“Don’t test my limit, Kyuhyun.” Siwon warned, “I am thankful that you save Sungmin but that’s it. Don’t cross the line more than what you did.” Siwon warned.

 

“What the hell are you talking about, Siwon?”

 

“She’s mine.” He strengthened, pushing Kyuhyun with his finger.

 

“Ah.”

 

“So, back off Kyuhyun. I will never give up Sungmin to anyone.” He glared at him for the last time and left.

 

Kyuhyun frowned at him walking away. He knew it’s his fault for provoking over Siwon like that even knowing how Siwon’s jealousy. But, he still couldn’t help from feeling threatened by what Siwon just said.

 

She’s mine.

 

Darn. Without you telling, I know Sungmin loves you more than me. He gritted his teeth in anger but it vanished immediately after seeing Sungmin and Siwon from far away. Sungmin’s smiles exactly showed her happiness. Seeing it, it pained his heart and crushed again.

 

 

 

 

“Damn.” Kyuhyun cursed.

 

He rubbed his face with his hand few times and sighed. It is not late but just twelve in the morning, but somehow, Kyuhyun feel agitated. He couldn’t even sit still. He is now at the club, the usual club that he goes, but his heart feels empty. The main reason for him to be there was to forget all his problem but all he did was the opposite of it. His mind keeps on thinking about someone, and he couldn’t even understand the reason behind it.

 

“Hey Kyuhyun…” a girl seductively calls him from behind, trailing her finger on Kyuhyun’s shoulder, “Alone again this evening?” the girl planted a short kiss on his cheek.

 

Kyuhyun groaned, and slightly push the girl away from him, “Stop it, Hyuna. You know I don’t like it.” He warned.

 

And instead of feels offend by the statement the girl just continued seducing Kyuhyun.

 

“Why are so stiff, Kyuhyun? It’s not really your first time here, right?” Hyuna sits on Kyuhyun’s lap and purposely lifted her short skirt where her could be seen right through.

 

Kyuhyun’s eyes narrowed with the question. But, he just ignored Hyuna. He really didn’t have the mood to talk to anyone that moment. Hyuna starts getting bold with her action after seeing there’s no protest from Kyuhyun. Her hands sneak on Kyuhyun’s neck and she starts kissing him full on the lips. Though he wants to just continue ignore the girl, the temptation is high and the situation is not stopping him at all. Kyuhyun kissed the girl back with full passion and Hyuna smirked, noticing that her plan is working. They openly making out in the club.

 

 

 

 

“Wow, you really are a mess, Kyu. I thought that you hate that girl.” Minho said mockingly after seeing the hot making up session by his friend.

 

“Shut up, Minho.” Kyuhyun punch his friend soft, irritated.

 

He wipes the lipstick stain on his lips, and starts gulping more alcohol. After Minho suddenly appeared out of nowhere, he pushed and told Yoona to leave him alone. He enjoyed the make out session but it was just too much. His head is getting dizzy with all the drink and everything.

 

“Chill up, Kyu.” Minho laughs, “Why are you so tense anyway?”

 

“It’s none of your business.” He retorted, frowning hard.

 

Minho chuckled, find it funny for Kyuhyun to be so bad-tempered after so long.

 

“Come on, man.” He slung his arms on Kyuhyun’s shoulder, “Tell me what makes you so angry about. Who knows, maybe I could help you to ease the ‘pain’ a little.” He suggested, sounding mocking to Kyuhyun though.

 

Kyuhyun pushes away Minho’s arm from his shoulder. He takes the alcohol again and drinks it in one gulp. He sighs heavily after that. Minho waits. He wants to give his friend some space and time for him to open up. He knew that Kyuhyun got some problem. If not, Kyuhyun will not let himself get drunk so much like that.

 

“I think I’m jealous, Minho.” He confessed, out of sudden.

 

“Jealous? With who? Your step brother?” Minho assumes but Kyuhyun shakes his head slowly.

 

“No, it’s not him. But, to my ‘best friend’ boyfriend.” He replies, taking another drink, trying to make himself drunk for that night.

 

“Best friend? Boyfriend? Don’t tell me you have become gay?!” Minho spat in horror, he unconsciously back away from Kyuhyun.

 

“It’s not that, idiot!” Kyuhyun smack him on the head angrily.

 

“Then, what is it?! Ouch…my head…” he winced in pain.

 

“My best friend is a girl. And you know her. It’s Sungmin.” Kyuhyun explained.

 

Minho was taken aback by the sudden information.

 

“Sungmin? Is it Lee Sungmin from our class? The Lee Sungmin? Our University’s best student? Is she that Lee Sungmin you’re talking about now?” Minho continuously asked, to make sure that he is not mistaken it for other Lee Sungmin.

 

Kyuhyun nodded faintly.

 

“Wow, she got a boyfriend.” The latter repeated, chuckling because of amazement by the news he got.

 

Kyuhyun frowned to see his best friend’s reaction.

 

“Wow? What is it to be wowed about? It’s just a boyfriend, right?” He said, still unsatisfied.

 

Minho stared at Kyuhyun with wide-eyed, disbelief by his response. He let out chuckles which makes Kyuhyun feels more confused.

 

“What’s so funny about?” he questioned in annoyed.

 

“Hahaha...nothing actually. It’s you who makes me laugh Kyu.”

 

“Me?”

 

Minho nodded.

 

“Just how long are you going to keep Sungmin to yourself, Kyu?”

 

A pang stabbed Kyuhyun by the question.

 

“You became her only ‘best friend’ at school and yet you treated her so different than the other people you knew. You make her cry at the reunion, but then it was you also who first notice her in those occasions. She has never experienced of being with other men except you but…” he trailed his sentence while looking at Kyuhyun, “You being you, decided to just keep her as best friend. She’s a girl, Kyu. And she’s also the girl that had confessed to you. I hope you didn’t forget about that completely.”

 

Kyuhyun becomes quiet. He averted his eyes away from the other and just drink. Everything said by Minho just now was a fact and he has no other points to argue back to him. Minho has always been his best friend and knew a lot of his secrets. And that man knew about how he treated Sungmin for all this time.

 

“I…didn’t do anything wrong.” He whispered the reply inaudibly.

 

Minho scoffed, “Oh come on, Kyu. I know you better than that. Well, it’s not your fault if you didn’t feel anything for her. I just don’t understand why you must feel jealous of her boyfriend now if you never had any feeling for her.”

 

Kyuhyun’s heart clasped painfully with the statement. His eyes started to glass with invisible tears. He breathed out deeply, closing his eyes.

 

Minho smiled thinly to hear the sigh, “You should feel happy for her, Kyu.” He told him.

 

“Happy?” Kyuhyun repeated the word incredulously.

 

“Yeah, happy.” Minho rephrased.

 

“You know how Sungmin was famous in our college for being the best student and yet forever solo during our time right? I feel sorry for her when I heard from my ex-girlfriend that they often tease and make fun of her because of her situation. It’s not wrong but, I can tell you myself that Sungmin is lonely. I have seen her eyes few times. So, isn’t it a good thing now that she FINALLY has someone that loves her?” Minho stated his opinion, didn’t feel any guilt even though he senses he’s hurting his own best friend.

 

They stare at each other without word. Kyuhyun interpreting what had Minho said to him. It was the truth even without him thinking much about it. He himself also can see how lonely Sungmin was during their college time. And now, she was smiling happily. Even though it was with someone else, she is at least very happy. Kyuhyun let go a sigh tiredly.

 

“I don’t know, Minho. I don’t even understand this myself.” He confessed rubbing his face with his palm, “Sungmin really look different now if you see her again. She’s a beauty before and getting more beautiful day by day now. She’s been smiling a lot too. We didn’t talk much about her boyfriend but I can see from her eyes that…she’s happy.”

 

Kyu.

 

Kyuhyun smiled sadly. He can almost hear Sungmin’s sweet voice ringing inside his head. The reason for his stupid jealousy, his restless heart and everything that he felt now is a proof to one thing only. He loves Sungmin. He loves her so much that it hurts to just think about it. He felt a pat on the shoulder.

 

“Hey, let’s drink.” Minho offered him another glass.

 

Kyuhyun laughed soundlessly.

 

“Yeah. Thanks Minho.” He thanked.

 

With a cling of the glasses, Minho accompanied Kyuhyun drink for the whole night. He knew that Minho means good by saying the truth about his friendship with Sungmin. He also realized that even though he admit his feelings now, it will not going to change anything.

 

Isn’t it? 

 

Kyuhyun stared at the glass with Sungmin’s smiling images appeared.

 

I’m an idiot.

 

He admitted.

 

 

 

 

It rained heavily that night. Sungmin shivers by the coldness even though she already turns on the heater. She was in her thick blanket while watching some re-run of old drama in her living room. Her mind travels elsewhere even though she was watching the TV. Didn’t know why, her heart feel restless that night. It was almost like there’s something going to happen. She shakes her head frantically and calming herself down by doing some breathing exercise. But, just as she was about to calm down, she jolts suddenly by the ringing of the doorbell. She looks at the time on the wall clock. It’s shown past 12 a.m.

 

It’s late. Who is it? She grabs her coat and wears it to cover her thin pajama.

 

“Yes? Who is it?” she asks from the intercom.

 

“Sungmin!” a voice applauds excitedly by the camera.

 

“Eh? Kyu?”

 

“Hahaha…it’s Sungmin! Hi!!” the man waves to her, laughing to nothing funny at all.

 

He is obviously drunk. Quickly, she key in the password and opens the door. A drenched Kyuhyun falls on her as soon as she opens it.

 

“Sungmin….Sungmin…my Sungmin...hehehehe” Kyuhyun chants her name while caressing Sungmin’s cheeks, laughing, tipsy by the drunkenness.

 

“Kyuhyun…what…” Sungmin pushes his hands away, already feeling uncomfortable with the way Kyuhyun acts.

 

“What’s wrong? Don’t you like me visiting you? Hiks…opps, I’m getting a hiccup, hehehe…” he grins like an idiot.

 

“Kyuhyun…what’s wrong with you?” Sungmin sighs, “Come, get up on your feet.” She pulls Kyuhyun to stand up, and put his hand on her shoulder to support him walking.

 

“Hahaha…Sungminie is hugging me…” he sings, circling his hands on Sungmin’s neck, “Squeeze…” and he squeeze Sungmin into a hug.

 

“Kyu…please! Stop hugging me! Come…” Sungmin ignores his childish act, getting a bit annoyed.

 

She helps Kyuhyun walks towards the couch on the living room. Kyuhyun sways here and there making it hard for Sungmin to walk. When they are about to reach, Kyuhyun stumbles on the carpet and both of them fall together on the couch. Sungmin’s face landed straight on Kyuhyun’s chest.

 

“Opps...”

 

“Kyu, are you okay? I’m sorry!” Sungmin gets up from him instantly.

 

“No…it’s okay.” Kyuhyun pulls her back on his chest, “I miss you so much.” He hugs Sungmin, hiding the eyes that are glistening with tears.

 

Sungmin blushed madly by the closeness.

 

“Kyu!” Sungmin forced to get up and pushed him back to the couch.

 

She glared at him in anger, “Stop acting like a child, Kyu. You’re an adult, remember? I’ll get you some water.” She walks away to the kitchen, irritated by Kyuhyun weird behavior.

 

Kyuhyun opened up his eyes slowly after Sungmin left. His eyes scan around the room. There’s a picture of Siwon and Sungmin on the side table. They are hugging and Sungmin was smiling. She looks so happy and maybe much happier than when she is with him. His attention fixed on the picture as jealousy starts to creak inside him again. He closed his eyes and takes a breath to calm himself, to forget that ‘beautiful’ image. He takes a glance at Sungmin in the kitchen.

 

Why can’t I just own you, Lee Sungmin? He asks the question, inside.

 

Sungmin comes walking towards him after that.

 

“Here. Drink this. Hope that it will make you sober.” She gives him a glass of water.

 

Kyuhyun stares long at her without saying anything. He sighs, and slowly gets up from the couch. He takes the water and drinks it while Sungmin take a seat next to his couch.

 

“Are you okay now?” Sungmin asks worriedly.

 

It was the first time ever that she saw Kyuhyun in that state. So, it’s a lie to say that she’s not worry.

 

“Yeah.” He answers lazily.

 

“Good.” Sungmin smiles in relief, “Are you feeling okay? Want to me to make some hangover soup? Wait, I’ll just make something for you.” She decided, without consider to Kyuhyun.

 

Sungmin stands up again but Kyuhyun stops her before anything, before she moves away.

 

“Kyu?”

 

“Can you stay here? Can you just let me look at you, just like this?” Kyuhyun said, almost like pleading her to do so.

 

“What is going on with you, Kyu? Why are you acting like this?” Sungmin tries to pull her hand but Kyuhyun grips it even more, holding her firmly, “Kyu, let me go.” She tried to push the hand away but Kyuhyun didn’t bulge at all.

 

Kyuhyun was listening. He was just pretending to not hear anything.

 

“Kyu!” Sungmin screams louder to wake him.

 

He slowly let go of Sungmin’s hand.

 

Sungmin scoffed, “Just what’s wrong with you so suddenly…ah.” Kyuhyun gives her a sudden back-hug, stopping her from going away once more.

 

Sungmin froze.

 

“I miss you, Sungmin. I miss you so much that it almost kills me. Why Sungmin? Why are you ignoring me? You’re too focusing on just Siwon nowadays. I’m really angry. I’m so ing jealous, Sungmin. Why? Why are you doing this to me?” He confessed making Sungmin stiffened from the words.

 

“W…What?”

 

“Why can’t you just be mine? I want you to look at me like how you used to be. I want you to notice my feeling too. Just be mine alone, Sungmin. I really hate to share you with anyone.” He tightened the hold, didn’t care that he was hurting the girl.

 

“Kyu, please stop.” Sungmin’s voice pleads, restraining herself from melting in Kyuhyun’s arms.

 

Kyuhyun stayed in the same position saying nothing. And gently, he loosened the hug. He pulled Sungmin for her to face up with him.

 

He Sungmin’s cheek gently, didn’t take away his eyes from staring into that blue-eyed orb, “Why Sungmin? Why didn’t you just wait for me? You said you love me, right? Why didn’t you just give yourself to me? Why must you choose someone else?”  He pours all the questions in one breathe.

 

Sungmin stares at him, speechless to hear that questions from Kyuhyun.

 

“I chose him because he said he loves me, Kyu.” She replies, though that’s not the genuine answer she wants to give.

 

“So am I! I love you too, Sungmin! Will you accept me now that you heard it?!” Kyuhyun suddenly get angry, shocks Sungmin to the core.

 

“You…love me?”

 

“Yes! I love you!” he confessed again, more to shouting actually.

 

“I love you too! That is what I want to say back then, but I was too coward! I was afraid that I might hurt our friendship! I was afraid of other people saying! I was afraid of people looking at me! I am so proud of myself, you know that. You have known me better than anyone else, Sungmin. You should understand everything and why I behave this way!” He said, still didn’t take his eyes away from the girl.

 

“But now, you choose someone else instead of me. You who choose to leave me first! It was you who break our friendship! It was you who have totally forgotten about me! It was you who ignore my feelings completely? Are you avenging on me now? Because I hurt you? Is that it, Lee Sungmin?”

 

Sungmin unconsciously shakes her head.

 

“Then why?!” The girl jolted by the loud voice and anger.

 

“What’s wrong with the one-sided love?! What’s wrong with me keeping my feelings to just me? Will it change anything? Is it wrong if I said it now?! Will it change your feelings?!” Kyuhyun’s rages making Sungmin flinch with every word of it.

 

Kyuhyun pants after all the shouting. He never thought that he will have to confess his feeling to the girl that he loved the most that way. Sungmin just stares at him, still processing what has been told to her. She could see how Kyuhyun’s eyes glistening with tears and his face was totally red because of the anger. She becomes anxious with the sudden outburst, which she certainly never expects at all.

 

After a long of silent, Sungmin shakes her head slowly, “No…I…I can’t…accept you…” She talks back at him, stammer with her words.

 

“Why, Sungmin?” Kyuhyun holds both of her shoulders, “Is it because he’s much richer and more experience than me? Or is it because of his looks? His manner? Is that what makes you loves him so much? I also have everything that he has. I will also do anything just for you. Is there anything that you want me to change? I promised I will do everything. I just want you to accept me. Please…” he pleaded, tightened the hold on Sungmin.

 

“No, it’s not that. You…you don’t…love me…” Sungmin said, almost whispering.

 

“Sungmin please…” Kyuhyun begs.

 

“You don’t love me, Kyu.” She repeats the word again.

 

“No, I love you. Please believe in me.” Kyuhyun confessed again, holding her cheeks gently.

 

“No, you don’t!” Sungmin shouts as she pushes Kyuhyun away from her, “You were ashamed of me, Kyu! You never love me!” She added, all her anger and sadness mixed together.

 

Tears slowly flow from her eyes.

 

“What…what are you talking about…”Kyuhyun asks, still gawk by Sungmin’s unusual reaction.

 

“Stop feinting things, Kyu! Stop lying to me!” Sungmin covers her ears to stop from listening, “I…I heard you, Kyuhyun.” She sobs, “I heard you talking with your friends at that time. I heard everything.”Sungmin looks at him, smiling sadly just to hide the pain.

 

Kyuhyun stares at her, speechless to say anything. He recalled his past during college, where his pride was still high and so ignorance about other people. He remembered there are times where he talked with his friends about Sungmin behind her back. And Sungmin heard it? Did she hear all of it?

 

“You said it yourself that I’m just average, Kyu. I’m just a normal girl, I have nothing to offer. You deserve someone more than that. That’s why…that’s why you reject me. That’s why you laughed at my confession. That’s why you leave me hanging like that and got yourself a new girlfriend. I knew about it, Kyuhyun. I knew it from the start that I have no place to love you.” She cries, letting herself out for the first time ever.

 

“You’re showing to me that you can get another girlfriend easily because of what you have. You keep it a secret because you thought it was nothing important. But, it hurts, Kyu. Here, it hurts so much.” Sungmin points to her heart as Kyuhyun still staring at her.

 

“If I really am a friend to you, should you at least be honest with me? Should you just answer my question honestly when I ask? But no, you keep it all a secret until the end. You call me, talk to me for hours, keep me hoping, and then crush it into pieces. You must have so much fun doing that right? I knew that I am no match for someone like you. I don’t deserve to love anyone. But, can I…why I can’t just love you, even in silence? I didn’t ask much from you, Kyu. But, you lied. You hurt me. Why…why must you hurt me too?” Sungmin knees buckled as she falls slowly on the floor.

 

She cried again and again because it really hurts so much. And Kyuhyun can almost feel the pain she felt. He moves forward without saying anything and pulls Sungmin into his arms.

 

“I’m sorry. Please…I’m sorry.” Kyuhyun apologized and Sungmin cries even more when she hears that, “I know that I hurt your feeling, Sungmin. I know that I’m very cruel at you. But please…I’m sorry Sungmin.” he hugs her more.

 

“I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you. I’m sorry to ever make fun of you. I’m sorry to keep on using your feelings on me. I’m sorry that I’m so stupid to care about other people’s impression. I’m sorry. Please forgive me…” he begs, their forehead glued together, “Let’s start over, Sungmin. Let’s just be honest now…please.” Tears flows from his eyes one by one.

 

“I love you, Sungmin. Truthfully, I love you so much.” He embraced her tighter, “Let’s be together.” Kyuhyun professed his feelings.

 

Kyuhyun locked her gaze with Sungmin’s lovingly. He knew that Sungmin still has some feelings for him. He can sense it written through her eyes. Slowly, he moved forward and kisses the lips that he’s been longing to. Sungmin was shocked at first but her eyes closed on its own. It is the first time. It is the first kiss that they shared.

 

The time seems to move in a really slow motion. The sound of raindrops could clearly be heard through the thick and silent night with their heart beating fast. The moments where they are now are both special and hurtful at the same time. Yet, as much as it hurts, none look as if they want it to be stop. After a few long seconds, Kyuhyun slowly part away from Sungmin’s lips with heavy heart. Their eyes were still into each other.

 

“Sungmin please…” Kyuhyun pleads with his hands cupping on Sungmin’s cheeks.

 

He has never felt so hopeless like that in his life and it really hurt both of them so much. They stayed silent and in the same position for the longest time ever. But soon after that, realization dawned upon Sungmin to how wrong it was with everything happened. She’s not the same Sungmin as before. She is now Siwon’s girlfriend. She can’t betray the one she loved.

 

“No, Kyu.” Sungmin shakes her head slowly, “It’s too late. No…” She pushes Kyuhyun and slowly walking backward, away from him.

 

“You…hurt me…I…can’t…” Sungmin pleaded in sorrow, tears continue to pour.

 

Kyuhyun watches the girl that he loves turns from him and slowly walks away in pain. He fisted his fist hard till it turns white, holding himself. Why is he so stupid before? Why was he so selfish with his feelings that he almost totally failed to see how much Sungmin loves her. If only…if only he was…

 

She’s mine. Back off.

 

Siwon’s voice on the other night crossed into his mind. And it heated him.

 

“No. You are not.” He denied.

 

In a flash, Kyuhyun grabs Sungmin and push her on the wall, trapping her hands from moving on both sides. Sungmin freeze, especially with the fact that Kyuhyun looks so scary in the eyes.

 

“I will not give you to him, never.” He said to the girl, gritting his teeth in anger.

 

“Kyu, what are you doing? Let me go.” Sungmin orders him, “Kyu…umph!”

 

Kyuhyun forces a kiss on Sungmin’s lips, stopping her from saying anything else. Sungmin was astounded with it. She fights back to not respond to him but Kyuhyun bites her lips, giving him the entrance to enter into her lips. Lust has taken the entire control of Kyuhyun. For him, if he can’t get Sungmin then no one else should be able to get it too.

 

She’s mine! Forever mine! His dark side surfaced and takes control over his mind completely.

 

“Kyu, stop it!” Sungmin screams between each kisses, “Let me go!”

 

But, Kyuhyun didn’t stop. His action become daring after tasting Sungmin’s sweet’s lips. He touches Sungmin on every nook of her body, festive over his lust and totally ignores the pleas of stop from the girl. Sungmin writhes desperately under Kyuhyun’s hold. She tries almost everything to break free but Kyuhyun was just too strong, and her body wasn’t listening to her mind at all. Kyuhyun’s hands fast ing Sungmin’s pajamas despite the much struggling she gave. With the touch of his hand on Sungmin’s skin, a picture of her past flash through, engulfing her into her nightmare once more.

 

“KYUHYUN!!”

 

Kyuhyun’s eyes snapped open by the scream. His body in reflects let go of the girl and they both fall on the floor. He looks around, and wanders until it reaches Sungmin. His eyes widened in horror, finally realized what a horrible thing he just did to her. He gulps his saliva bitterly, panting while calming himself, still can’t believe what he did. What to be even more unexpected are actually what he sees on Sungmin.

 

Scars. There are scars that he never sees before one by one starts to appear on the girl’s petite body. Sungmin was shivering, sitting and sobbing on the floor. Her cheeks were already wet with tears and her eyes were tightly closed, hiding away from Kyuhyun, in an absolute fear.

 

“Sung…Sungmin…” Kyuhyun shutters.

 

“Please…stop it.” Sungmin pleads, covering both her eyes and ears, hoping that all the nightmares will just leave, hoping that everything that happened was just a dream.

 

“Ah…ah…” Kyuhyun’s eyes went big two times than normal.

 

“Appa…appa….” Sungmin called, sobbing hard.

 

Kyuhyun freeze by the scene. His body glued on the floor, feeling helpless to do anything. Sungmin continues on crying, calling and pleading for everything to just stop. Everything was already too late to turn back now, the mistake has been done and the past has reappears again, unexpectedly. The reason behind Sungmin’s restless heart was finally answered.

 

 

 

TBC