Just when she is about to run out of bed in the annoyance from not being able to sleep, she receives a text message. Short and simple, the one she always dreams off has written to her; ‘I can’t sleep’.

Okay? What does that mean? Hannah just stares at it, making sure it is really Jonghyun and making sure she is not misunderstanding his writing. Her first word is the only thing she figures out to write back to him, even considering not writing back but without knowing it she sends an ‘okay’ to him. Why send her that? They haven’t spoken in three weeks, the only times they met they got angrier at each other and they had this rough kiss experience, and he has sent her a text today just to check in on Kyung Ho. Why text her that all of a sudden? Why text her at all?

Hannah looks at the time. His radio must have ended.

She gets another one. Hannah hesitates to even look at it, not sure she wants to know what is going on, terrified to know what he means and terrified that it might be something else, but overall terrified that he is talking to her. It takes a minute before she dares to look at it.

‘Can I come over…?’

Jonghyun wants to come over. Hannah stares up at the ceiling. He wants to come over? What does that mean?! Come over? Come over to her? Hannah is so confused. Isn’t he angry at her? Isn’t he furious and upset and really hating her right now, like he has been for the past three weeks and like he should be for the rest of their lives? He can’t want to come over to fight, that’s for sure; they might be insane, but Jonghyun knows better than to bother the ladies at this hour. She answers like the first time; ‘okay…’

So … Jonghyun is coming? Does that mean he is coming over, at three in the morning, to get some sleep? She knows he says he sleeps better with her, at least when they were together. What it all means, Hannah doesn’t go that long. She starts picking down the notes in her room – with time, her two notes of ‘don’t text Jonghyun’ has turned into a bunch of don’t do this and that, Jonghyun’s name written on them for her to not come with any excuses to tell herself that it is not about him, that she can still give him a text message or look him up online to see how he is doing… Hannah uses the bathroom, washes her face and brushes her teeth, she stares at her messy room and pushes everything away to the wall, hiding things in her wardrobe, but when taking a look in her room it still looks messy. She can’t help that.

She receives a text message, and she knows he wasn’t kidding: He is here.

Without remembering these past weeks she runs down the stairs, as quiet as possible, sneaks a peek inside the living-room to see Maria in deep sleep and she hurries to let Jonghyun in, her heart racing. She is shaky and nervous, standing in the hall when watching Jonghyun step inside. She is in her nightclothes; a raglan-sleeve t-shirt dress, bare legs and no socks. She is so nervous seeing him take his shoes off, not sure if she should step forward or step away or what to expect, maybe even cry seeing that he is just as expressionless as she is. Maybe he has a war going on in his body too; what to do, how to look, what to say, how to react. His blonde hair not completely dry from a shower, the scent of him goes through her nostrils when she watches him in the hall.

“Everyone’s sleeping,” Hannah whispers with a finger to her lips for him to be quiet and without waiting for him to take off his jacket she starts heading back up to her room, in the stairs hearing him walk with her.

She is almost sick to her stomach out of excitement; Jonghyun is there, he wanted to come, she can almost feel the tingling in her back of his eyes watching her. She can’t think of what they aren’t, all she can think of is his presence, knowing he wanted to come to her, knowing her heart hasn’t been this excited in weeks, her whole body is warm just to know it. Hannah walks inside her bedroom and crawls into bed quickly before he walks in the room, and she lies down on the inner side, her head on the pillow Michin was lying on before – she had flipped the pillow earlier – and she just lies there under the quilt, watching Jonghyun undress. It’s really nice. He closed the door after him, the only light now in the room is from the soft lamp over by the wardrobe, not giving her the perfect light to see Jonghyun pull off his clothes into underwear and tank top, but she can clearly see the shape and structure of his body, of his muscles and his face. All that handsomeness, all that Jonghyun.

Without a word he lifts up the quilt after putting his watch and cell phone on the bedside table, and lies down next to her. Hannah is on her back, looking up at the ceiling at the sudden awareness in the fact that they are not together anymore, yet he is in her bed. That can not be normal, or healthy. But she loves it.

Her eyes closes when Jonghyun turns towards her, his arms suddenly wrapping themselves around her and pushes her towards him in slow motion, her back facing him and his face hides in her hair, breathing slowly, making her close her eyes so hard by how much he is touching her. It is aching in her whole body, her heart is in pain having his arms around her, hearing him breathe behind her ear, and the warmth of his body reaches hers. His arms around her, hugging her, puts all broken pieces together. Knowing she shouldn’t enjoy it as much as she is, Hannah entwines their fingers together, her arm over his around her and it feels like the most natural position in weeks.

It’s the best sleep she has had in a long time. No matter how much she has been sleeping these past three weeks, Hannah has always been so tired when she wakes up, feeling as if she hasn’t slept at all.

All of a sudden she gets a few hours of sleep, her body feeling whole and when waking up in the morning she stares at the reason.

They aren’t a couple anymore, she knows that for sure, but even with the knowledge of that it is something about having Jonghyun there that makes her relax, giving her the sleep she need. When waking up she is lying with Jonghyun’s arm under her, holding on around her back while he is on his back, Hannah held towards him and she has a hand on his chest. The dark tank top looks nice on him, while coming to her senses of their sleeping position she is letting her fingertips play with the collar of the tank top, stopping when she reaches her senses but not moving away from him. Hannah looks up at his face, sleeping peacefully in her bed, holding on to her…

She misses him so much. Every single thing about him, every single feature that she now can look at in the dim light from the night lamp across the room, and one thing after another she tries to remember the reasons to why she broke up with him, her under consciousness giving her reasons to why she did the worst decision in her life. Hannah loves him, and while she wants to be with him she knows she shouldn’t because they have absolutely no future together. It would be selfish to stay in a delusional relationship, everyone already knowing it can’t end with anything else than a break-up. They are too different, their families are too different. But she can’t stop staring at him. He is sleeping deeply now, the itching in her fingers stops when she lifts her hand up to touch his jaw, following the handsome line she took notice of the first time she met him. He has always been handsome; he has just grown manlier with the years, a little more perfection put into his features and movements and each time he would look at her it felt like his world concentrated on her.

Remembering the things she misses, Hannah is lost in his features and her thoughts about him that it takes a few seconds or more than a few before noticing he is looking at her. Those eyes.

Hannah takes her hand away from his face, the panic in her heart reaches through her system and she sits up, the sudden tension in her body with the thought of this whole situation reached her the moment he looked at her, tired and filled with emotions. There is one thing she is remembered of; her ladies. What will they say about this? How will they react? How furious wouldn’t they get, having Hannah being a ticking bomb around them and then be calmed when her … non-boyfriend spends the night.

“Oh .”

She flies out of bed and runs to hide in the bathroom, panicking because she knows the ladies will only think of this as one thing. They won’t see it as a night where Jonghyun came over to just sleep, or Hannah letting him in because she is desperate to just be around him – they will only see one thing that didn’t happen. Because that is what it means to stay the night – isn’t it like that?

While Hannah is in the bathroom, panicking and washing up, Jonghyun is staying in her bed; he checks the time on his watch after turning on the lamp on the bedside table, stretching out between her sheets and breathing her in while he can. Waiting for her to come back out, he checks his cell phone – spotting the file on the table and gets curious to know some inside information about the ladies’ comeback, a way to maybe talk about something else than their relationship with Hannah – but when he opens the file he sees these little notes. A bunch of notes written with his name on them, in English, but the words are simple. ‘Don’t call Jonghyun’, ‘don’t text Jonghyun’, ‘don’t come with any excuses, you are now allowed to ask about Jonghyun’. Somehow he is not surprised; he understands what it is right away; reminders to her self to constantly remind herself that they have broken up. He understands because he is the same. Maybe not writing notes like this, but it is driving him insane too. He is angry at her for what she did, for breaking up with him because they are two fools, but it isn’t like he will force her to be with him. Jonghyun knows that she will come to her senses eventually (hopefully), take him back and he will be waiting impatiently for that – he can’t be patient when he wants her back every second that passes.

He puts the notes back in the file, forgetting all about looking through the actual file like he planned to, and instead just lies back comfortably in her bed. Should he leave or stay at this time? He wants to stay, he has no will in his body to leave, but he too is aware of the four sleeping lions in the apartment. He heard the ladies say when they came by the concert last night that they are going to Fukuoka today, early; with a glance at the time again he is sure the ladies will wake up within the hour.

Jonghyun is lying on his back when Hannah comes back inside the room, looking like he has just been stretching out his body a little under the quilt while she was in the bathroom. She gives him a quick glances before looking somewhere else, starting to decide what to wear and what to pack in a shoulder-bag to bring with her to Japan.

Usually she packs the day before; even Jonghyun knows that, which makes him wonder what she was doing last night when she didn’t come to the concert. He doesn’t know that she was too busy missing him that she had completely forgotten about packing, only remembering in the bathroom when thinking of when and why the ladies would wake up. While packing now she is thinking of what to say to him; tell him to leave or … tell him to leave? She can’t figure out a way to kick him out without sounding like she is kicking him out.

Noticing that it is really no talking that will happen between them with Hannah occupying herself with packing, Jonghyun gets out of bed and pulls on pants before going to the bathroom, just mumbling “I’ll use the toilet before leaving.”

 

Emelia always wakes up early, just like today. She and Julia had decided to take out the puppies on a morning walk before leaving and she is planning on taking Hannah along too (somehow, she will get Hannah with them though the youngest never wants to do anything anymore). She has her bag packed and gets dressed, brushes her long strawberry blonde hair while thinking of how they will put up her hair for this comeback; braids, barrettes… probably something cool that matches her.

She has said she want a colour similar to the one she has now, maybe more brown. Emelia has had her dramatic hair-colours; black, red, now blonde; she think the dramatic hair changes should be put on the other ladies this time, not sure if anyone of them has any dramatic plans other than Hannah finally dying her hair. Maria has changed the most since their debut though; her short black hair from 2008 has gone to a well-cut blonde hair. All of them seem more mature lately. Emelia is sure this comeback will show the growth in 5 Pieces, all she can think of is [POWER UP], loving the choreography and the lyrics and how different it is from how the ladies usually do it but still so familiar. After [Daze] and [I Want a Man], no other style could be a better comeback than the chosen one now.

She grabs a sweater to throw in the dirty-clothes-corner on her way to the bathroom, taking strands of her hair in her hands to put it away for her to brush her teeth, quickly opening the door before the hand gets in her hair again, pushing the door open with her elbow and steps inside.

And she stops.

“What the are YOU doing here?!”

Jonghyun is staring at her, his face wet from splashing water on it over the sink and eyes huge just staring at her like frozen. “G-Good morning…”

Emelia looks like she is boiling and without a word she stomps through the room over to the other bathroom door, bursting inside Hannah’s bedroom and throwing the door shut behind her for Jonghyun to know he is now allowed inside. “WHAT THE IS THIS ?!” Emelia roars, her arms waving all over at Hannah who had hurriedly been getting dressed while Jonghyun wasn’t there, now pulling on her long shirt to wear with the leggings.

“I can explain,” Hannah says, sounding and looking more calm than how she should be.

“EXPLAIN!” Emelia roars back. She turns around and shuts the door in Jonghyun’s face when he wants to come inside. “You stay put in there!”

Hannah has backed away when Emelia turns to look at her; the rapper’s anger makes her skin all red while Hannah is almost getting pale over this reaction. It’s twice the reaction Hannah had expected. “Jonghyun came over to sleep…”

“The hell he did!”

“It’s true!” Hannah whines. “I’m sorry, it-”

“Did you two break up?” Emelia asks her, her voice still loud but not screaming. “Yes or no! Did you two break up?”

“Yes…” Hannah looks down at her hands, her voice low.

“Then he is out of here,” Emelia answers and turns to the door to open it, glaring at Jonghyun. “You have thirty seconds to get out of here or hell breaks loose.”

Jonghyun has a small hesitation before he goes to grab his things. Hannah moves to lean against her wardrobe, looking guilty and knowing that even if they didn’t have , having Jonghyun here at all after what has been said and not said… it is not good. Though Jonghyun leaves, Hannah will face Emelia’s fury.

Everyone else are still sleeping, Maria is downstairs and the other two in their own rooms. Hannah has crawled back in bed, waiting for Emelia to come back after scaring Jonghyun out the door downstairs, and she is desperately trying to come up with a defence when hearing Emelia come up the stairs – her mind is blank. Like in a movie, Emelia storms inside, closing the door after her and kicks some clothes on the floor. “I am deadly confused here, Hannah! Are you together or have you broken up? WHY is your ex-boyfriend staying the night? And when the HECK did you two decide to sneak around right under our noses? Are you seriously treating us this way just to sneak around with him like this or what the is going on because I am completely out of my mind furious at you, at him and at everything breathing within these walls!”

When people say Hannah mixes languages when she is drunk, how she can mix languages when she is really out of her mind, she stays fascinated by the fact that Emelia can be furious and stick to one language the whole way through without any problem at all. Hannah can’t answer though; she just sits in the furthest corner of her bed, holding on tightly to the quilt, keeping the quilt and bed as her protection.

“I don’t give a damn for what excuse you have, but you better make up your mind – together or not – this just has to stop, Hannah,” Emelia tells her. At the lack of response she suddenly grabs something on the floor and start throwing clothes at Hannah. “Don’t just block us out, you little annoying piece, and start freaking talk some sense with us!”

“I’m sorry!” Hannah cries out, holding up her hands for the flying clothes. “I can’t help it, okay? I’m sorry for doing this, I’m so sorry for everything. I don’t know what’s wrong. I don’t know why I’m so stupid. I don’t know why he wanted to come by. I don’t know anything, okay? I’m just…” Hannah gives out a whine, grabbing a piece of clothing to hide her face in, repeating in a mumble that she doesn’t know anything.

“You’re stupid,” Emelia tells her in an angry voice, “You’re freaking stupid for breaking up with Jonghyun in the beginning.”

It’s such a surprise to hear Emelia say that, especially with such calmness, and Emelia rolls her eyes when Hannah looks up at her, tears rolling down her face.

“Yes, you should never have broken up with him, happy to hear me say that?” Emelia sounds frustrated. “I don’t know what your issue is, Hannah, me and the ladies have tried to figure it out but all we can come up with is that you pile things up on the inside and let it out in a mess. He is crazy over you; Jonghyun is crazy in love with you and you are crazy over him – why did you have to break up with him? Have you talked to him what his mother thinks of your relationship? Or have you told him that you are scared because you are from Sweden and don’t know what to expect from Koreans at all, or what Koreans are expecting from you? TALK, Hannah, that’s your biggest issue. You think you tell us a lot of things while you in fact just think it all. We’re not mind readers! I don’t give a damn what his mother thinks of you or what reasons you have for being this stupid, but whatever reasons there are, you should talk to us and Jonghyun about it and solve the damn problems! DAMN!”

Emelia turns around when the door is opened, a newly woken Julia standing there and rubbing her eyes.

“Seriously, this early?” Julia yawns tiredly.

“It’s time to wake up either way,” Emelia mutters and walks across the room to go to the bathroom, shutting the door after her hardly.

Julia sighs and leaves too, knowing the fight is quiet for now, and Hannah is left alone with the tears quietly running like a waterfall down her cheeks. It’s not that easy to talk to them, to tell them she does not deserve to be with Jonghyun and that she doesn’t want to take up his time when he is looking for someone to marry – they can’t get married, right?

++ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - ++

Manager Lee sighs when he sees Hannah that morning. When she has walked out of the hall, he turns to the ladies to ask “again?” and Julia will say she fought with Emelia earlier. Emelia is furious, not talking to anyone because if she does she will just fire out words at them. One lady is furious and another is heartbroken. While everyone think they just had their usual kind of fight, none of them really know that Jonghyun was here when Emelia woke up, that he actually slept over too. Emelia doesn’t tell the others about it, maybe knowing that her fury is enough for Hannah at the moment, and Hannah is happy for that because she is busy talking to their stylist over the phone about pastel hair, trying to not think about Jonghyun and Emelia at all.

The crazy idea of maybe trying pastel hair, the stylist seems to like it. It’s easier to do on blonde hair too, so they are up for the challenge – Hannah somehow expected them to not let her do it, saying it wouldn’t suit her or something, so she is quite speechless to find out that the stylist is all-in on letting her get some kind of pastel colour for this comeback. That will be Hannah’s challenge, a cherry on top of all her challenges for these up-coming weeks.

Jonghyun had texted her after leaving, asking if she was scolded hardly because of him, adding a sad smiley. She had answered that it was nothing, apologizing for Emelia’s behaviour. And they continued to text each other. It’s weird, it’s completely weird, but it feels really good to be texting to him, and suddenly they have been texting during the whole ride to the airport. She doesn’t talk to Emelia, not sure she wants to with the glare Emelia is giving the window. What would she even say? She is so confused. She is pretty sure things haven’t changed between her and Jonghyun, it wasn’t that kind of a night; they were sleeping, all innocently, just missing each other’s presence. All of a sudden she can’t understand how she has pulled through these weeks without him, not talking to him or seeing him, not getting his calls asking if she misses him; all those things that were so daily for her, three years gone to nothing but the past.

“You’re doing it again.”

Two hours later they are in Fukuoka, heading to the first of three fan meets there today. Hannah looks up from staring at the backrest of the seat in front of her, meeting Maria’s wondering eyes searching for something in Hannah’s face that will reveal what the youngest spaces out about.

“I’m not,” Hannah shakes her head and blinks a few times when glancing out the window to see where they are.

She has no idea of where they are going but it seems like they are close to their location. Maria doesn’t like this behaviour; she had thought things were getting better, but no, the youngest is still acting weird, sleeping and spacing out all the time.

“You are,” Maria tells her, the van bumps a little when changing the street to a parking lot – they have arrived. “And the fact that you know what I mean says that you are doing it.”

“I’m not doing anything,” Hannah mumbles and looks down at her hands, “I was just thinking.”

“About?” Maria tries, as if they are alone in the van while everyone else is actually in there with them. “Is it about Jonghyun? Do you think about him 24/7?”

Hannah breathes in slowly and then breathes out in a sigh to look at the leader. “I think about a lot of things,” she answers, obviously a little colder.

“Anything you want to talk about – sister to sister?” Maria keeps trying. But Hannah shakes her head and Maria sighs when the door next to her is opened for her to get out.

It is a day filled with things to do; interviews and TV, radio and fan meets all packed together, they will need to laugh and make jokes, they need to sell themselves which they are professionals at doing. But for each interview they do, Hannah and Emelia stands coldly next to each other. Usually Emelia doesn’t care if they have been fighting backstage because they are professionals in this industry, they know how to fake a smile and say jokes with and about each other in front of the cameras and media, but today they are just doing as they are told and ignore each other completely otherwise, even on screen. When their manager suggests them to pat the other one on the back or something when they are having a playful chat in an interview, both Hannah and Emelia ignores it; Emelia pats Julia on the shoulder instead.

In one TV interview they are talking about living and working together the five of them all the time, and the host seems very interested in a specific topic that he brings up about that;

“Do you fight physically too? One of you is a great boxer I know,” he says and motions at Hannah who still after four years is known for her fighting role in a Japanese drama. The ladies laugh and shake their heads, maybe forcing it out.

“Only with words.”

“We throw things at times,” Emelia admits and the hosts give a jumped sound in surprise, asking if they really do that. “Yes. It was a while ago, Julia and I were fighting and we threw Carolina’s jacket on the floor.”

“Eh… You didn’t throw it on each other?” he sounds disappointed, and Hannah actually smiles at that because it is pretty much true other than pillows.

Emelia is quick and short answering; “No…”

“When we throw things, which is rare, we throw it on the floor or at something else. Only pillows we throw at each other because they don’t hurt,” Hannah explains. She can handle interviews like this, no matter how depressed she feels.

The host laughs so much at the pillow part. “What did you fight about?” he wants to know, giving a quick hand-motion to Julia and Emelia.

“Who has the most important issue,” Emelia answers coolly and the host laughs even more, he asks the ladies which members’ fights the most. To that question, the ladies glances at each other, hesitating a bit too much but Hannah and Emelia are chosen.

“We share room in Japan, I think we fight the most recently,” Hannah admits, not looking at Emelia who shut tightly to not say a thing about that, and Hannah only focuses on the host instead. “All of us kind of nag on each other and fool around a lot…”

In another interview, the ladies seem to be a little tired and Emelia seems like she has let Hannah take over to answer most questions, but Hannah is smiling more naturally after having to force it out all day.

“Is there anything weird about the other members? Can you tell us?”

“Um…” Hannah glances at Carolina and Maria sitting on one side; Hannah always sits in the middle. “Julia has a lot of cell phones.”

“What?” the host laughs and Maria laughs too as she thought Hannah would say her name, not Julia sitting on the other side.

“Julia has about four cell phones,” Hannah continues with a nod and the hosts’ sounds super chocked, asking why she has that. Julia gets help to explain, saying she has a Swedish phone, a Korean one, a Korean one used in Japan and another Swedish one used internationally.

“That’s too many!” the host is laughing, his voice has gone up a few octaves as if he too has to force out the entertainment. Fans like to know these things, but this host isn’t the biggest 5 Pieces’ fan so he just finds it a weird thing – which he asked about. “How many do the other members have?”

“I have two,” Hannah answers, putting up her fingers. Last year she had three, but she threw away the Swedish one. “A Korean and a Japanese one.”

“That sounds normal…” the host points at Hannah, as if accusing having too many cell phones is weird.

Maria makes them laugh a lot when commenting that Hannah is the one making the other members looking weird because she is the one who can fluently communicate in Japanese; Hannah can say a lot of weird facts about the members while they can’t talk back. The host suggests after that comment that Hannah should come more often and talk about the members then.

During each break, Hannah’s thoughts go back to Jonghyun and her members. She watches her friends backstage, how they play games on tablets and go through things for the next interview, how they prepare themselves and just laughs at silly things when realising they said something weird in Japanese. She loves her members a lot, they are closer than sisters to her; they fight but know it is because they love each other, there is no doubt in that. They do this as a team, Maria has kept saying it; she says it wherever they are, if it is in the practice-room going through for this challenging comeback or in Japan prepared to face an audience screaming hoarsely their name, the leader constantly says they are doing this together as a team. They make music together, they perform together, they work together, they live together – they do everything together. And Hannah knows that even if her relationship with Jonghyun is between the two of them, her members are an extension of herself; they need to know what she is doing, or else she will end up feeling further away from them. Not talking to her members makes them fight and upset, like she and Emelia are like; it is just a question to when the other members won’t have the energy to receive the silent treatment either. Therefore, when they are waiting for the last TV recording of the evening in Fukuoka, Hannah starts telling her members of how confused she is. She had written things down during the day, written down the reasons she broke up with Jonghyun to really remember them when she tell her members, she tells them how difficult it is and she has even written down how she feels. Not even half of the things are said before they have to work, but Maria gives her a bear hug and thanks her for opening up – upset it took almost a month for it to happen. Julia is surprised Hannah has such deep feelings for Jonghyun, saying she will wait to hear the rest of it when they are heading back to Korea.

Emelia is still upset. Hannah hasn’t told the members about Jonghyun’s visit or anything about today, so when Maria tells Emelia to loosen up now when Hannah is opening up, Emelia just walks away. But she listens to everything.

When heading home to Korea, the ladies don’t say much at all. They have decided to have a chat in private when they reach home, and that they do.

All alone, just the five of them with their pets, 5 Pieces sits down in the living-room with ice cream and candles (Maria’s candles), and they all starts talking. The main topic is Jonghyun, the ladies taking turn to talk about their thoughts about what they have been told and what they think about certain things, and they need to remind each other to be quiet while one another is talking – discussions ends up having four voices talk at once. They keep it structured, calmly talking to each other. Hannah tells them about Valentine’s Day, about how massive it was at the hotel and how shaken she was there, how taken back and terrified she got in the end and about all her confusions with her heart and mind pulling her back and forth. Towards the end when there shouldn’t be anything left to say for Hannah, just hearing Maria giving the advices, Hannah mumbles the confession of last night, of this past morning.

“He was here!?” Julia sounds shocked, staring at Emelia who has been surprisingly quiet this whole time.

“Now I am confused,” Maria raises her hands at Hannah, “you have showed you don’t want to be in a relationship with him, yet you let him sleep here…? What part of anything in that makes any sense?”

“Nothing,” Emelia is answering, her voice dark and cold. “Absolutely nothing makes any sense. It’s stupid and irritating and unnecessary drama all of it.”

“True. But life is all about unnecessary drama,” Maria calmly says, surprising Hannah because she thought Maria and Emelia would be on the same side on this. Maria takes Hannah’s hand, starting her serious speech; “I maybe don’t understand what you are going through right now, baby, but I have told you that I will listen and try, that’s what it means doing this together. I get it that you freaked out on Valentine’s Day, for many reasons too; it’s understandable to some part. Maybe Jonghyun won’t understand it, but he will try to, because in the end, it is such a pure love you two have for each other.”

Hannah opens to say against but Maria lifts a finger up in the air for her to stay quiet.

“If you can get on with your life, if you think that this love will pass by like a first love and you will move on – do so. If you really want to be with Jonghyun, you have to forget what others say and about the future, you need to sit down and have a talk with him like this – tell him everything. Jonghyun would want that, he wouldn’t want to be shut out without really being told what is going on.”

Hannah gives a glance at the other members. Julia gives a comment, agreeing with Maria while eating her ice cream. Carolina doesn’t have much to say at all other than “follow your heart”, and Emelia is leaning back with an angry face-expression.

“I don’t deserve it though,” Hannah whispers to them when looking back at Maria.

“Ya,” Emelia kicks a foot on the table. “You survived death and have million of people wishing they could be that guy capturing your heart. Jonghyun should be the one not deserving you, no matter how irritating you can be.”

“And that’s a compliment,” Maria is fast to tell Hannah, pointing at Emelia. There might be the same argument about him, having million of people wishing they could be that girl capturing Jonghyun’s heart, but though they all think that thing they know this is about Hannah.

Emelia just rolls her eyes and stands up. “I’m going to bed. Don’t you dare wake me or disturb me.”

With the rapper leaving the floor, Hannah looks really gloomy. No matter how great the other ladies have taken all of this (they are just happy to be part of it now), Emelia is still furious.

Hannah doesn’t know how to do things. She wants to talk to Jonghyun, try to figure out from that on how to do things. She feels better now though, knowing that she has told everything to her members so now she can actually ask for help if she has some silly questions or whatever. She should remember that she is not alone; she isn’t sure if she should talk to Emelia or leave her alone though, because the rapper is better when she gets to cool off with time, but at the same time Hannah wants to apologize for sneaking around last night and for being such a horrible friend with her mood and all that. But not tonight: with Emelia going to bed, the others soon follow her lead.

Only when lying down in bed does Hannah realise that it is indeed comforting when Jonghyun is there – she can’t even close her eyes no matter how tired she is. She just stares out, imagining him lying there and looking back at her.

++ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - ++

In the morning 5 Pieces head to their stylist’s place to try on clothes for their music video filming taking place in a week. That’s when it starts hitting the ladies; next week they will be filming for their comeback. Not just that it is just a week left for the filming (when all of this will be tested and later viewed for an eternity as 5 Pieces’ 4th album track) but that they have taken on a concept that no fan in the entire world will be expecting.

Corsets, bare legs, tight body-fitting outfits shaped around your and giving you a firm figure. While Hannah is just staring at herself when trying on the outfits, trying to pull it down over her thighs or up over her s, covering herself somehow, all of them are just staring at each other in both awkwardness and worries.

“I don’t think this will work…” Carolina mumbles, wearing a y corset dress looking like a bikini with glitter details and details hanging down a little over her thighs. It is a gorgeous outfit, but Carolina feel awkward it in. “Can we even dance in these?”

“Honey, who do you think I am?” stylist Yong Hyun takes out a hand in the air, rolling his eyes. “It looks perfect and works perfect to the concept and choreography. Trust me. And it is gorgeously a mix of burlesque and 5 Pieces.”

“I like it,” Emelia says, admiring all the corsets they have there.

“See,” Yong Hyun points at Emelia while looking at Carolina for her to not doubt their great stylist. “Have some faith, honey. You can’t dance around to these songs in dresses like you did for [I Want a Man]; that’s impossible. It is shorter and ier this time.”

“Less 5 Pieces,” Carolina mutters, not for the others to hear but Julia and Hannah standing closest to her does.

“It’s not that revealing, you know,” Julia tells Carolina while following her to look some more in the big mirrors at the stylist’s garage studio. “It’s like a bikini but hundreds of times classier and stylish, and it covers more.”

“I don’t want to wear bikinis on the stage.”

Julia rolls her eyes at her, knowing that Carolina is just pouting and complaining but still does as she is told because the others are doing it. And it’s not like their stylist will put on them clothes that will be too daring for the stage – they all know better than that – so even Hannah is quietly trying on her clothes, secretly liking and hating them because it is indeed gorgeous pieces of clothes but it is also a little too much going for the half- style than what she is used to. The funny part with trying on the outfits is that they also gets to find out what kind of make-up and hair-styles they will get; Hannah’s pastel hair, Emelia’s brown hair and Emelia actually trying out for the challenging red. They all seem to get more excited seeing pictures of the hair-colours they want, imagining it with the make-up and clothes and the music.

Maybe if it was another girl-group, a ier one, it would work perfectly. 5 Pieces got the charisma and voices for it, but the actual choreography and iness is doubtful for them still because it is too new for them. Maria is confident though; she loves the classy outfits and she has the determination to tell the ladies that they will rock this comeback. As the leader, she makes the members stop complaining (out loud).

The practice-room at SM Entertainment is afterwards filled with people to continue the practice of [POWER UP]. Wearing clothes they are comfortable in to practice, the ladies practice in high heels with dancers practicing with them. Jonghyun is in the back of her mind and Hannah is now focused on preparing for 5 Pieces’ comeback, after seeing the clothes and imagining it all, she is ready to focus on just one thing; 5 Pieces’ comeback. She doesn’t have time with anything else in the practice-room.

The American dance choreographies are with them, going through each thing in detail to prefect the choreography and synch and teamwork, praising and giving a word to each person on what they do well, what should be thought about and what they need to improve. It is no live singing, no practice on singing to the songs until they have filmed the music videos, so all the focus is on making it look good for the videos. With the whole crew present, it is a serious dance practice. Hannah can’t show her nervousness or awkwardness standing on a table for her part, she is just staring at their mirror reflections and trying to do exactly as she has been told, following the music. There is only seriousness today, everyone is nervous for the countdown and focused to prefect their movements to become one.

One by one the ladies disappear during the day though, coming back two hours later to switch with another member. They continue to practice and dance in the room with dancers and choreographies, being challenged when seeing the empty spots where the missing members are supposed to be. Carolina is away the most, as the song-writer and producer of the song that the ladies disappear off to record to.

Hannah hasn’t been in the studio doing the recording yet when their manager comes inside during a short water break, informing the ladies of that the cameras are ready in their apartment to film Good Sister. It was planned that Hannah will come late, just for the show to reveal that it isn’t only about Hannah and Kyung Ho but about Kyung Ho and the other members too, so they practice for half an hour more before three of the five ladies head home; Hannah and Carolina heads to the recording studio to finish up recording the song they have been working on today.

[You Thought Wrong Of Me] is a pop ballad with clear acoustic instruments like the drums and guitars. The music is made by a Swedish duo while the lyrics are made by Carolina and Park Hyekyung, and it is this kind of song that puts a challenge on 5 Pieces with the different attitude with high singing during the chorus and low singing during the verses. Hannah likes it by first sound, impressed with that Carolina has put up with such lyrics of a relationship, and Park Hyekyung tells Hannah that the other members thought he had done the whole job as it suits him more. But Carolina is indeed the one who has worked with him on the song, Hannah notices as soon as they start going through the lyrics and how to sing it; Carolina is a pure perfectionist when it comes to recordings.

“Don’t do ‘first’ like that. Do it more like … put a strong end to it, clearly hearing each letter,” Carolina interrupts the recording again to tell Hannah in the studio.

Hannah nods and they do the line over again. Twenty minutes and they are still on the first line. She had done the whole verse a few times before Carolina wanted her to do it line by line, and they haven’t gotten further than that.

“She’s annoyed,” Pete chuckles when Carolina cuts Hannah off again to tell her to re-do the line. Pete looks over his shoulder to Hyekyung sitting by the table, smiling at each other over Hannah’s annoyed face-expression for not getting it right.

They do it a few more times before Hyekyung asks Hannah to come out to them, and she sighs when she does as she is told.

“It’s not that it isn’t good,” Hyekyung tells Hannah when she comes to sit down in the sofa at the back, all the others turning around in their chairs towards her. “It’s just that it can be different. Your voice is really nice.”

“Maria’s voice is nice, it’s clean,” Carolina tries to explain, “I would want your voice to be more taken from the throat.”

Hannah nods. She understands what they mean (it’s been years working together, she knows what they mean) and when Carolina starts to sing the part to show what she means, Hannah repeats it after her and gets Carolina clapping her hands.

“Just like that. Go do it like that,” Carolina says.

++ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - ++

Headline 10th: 5 Pieces Sings [Let’s Go!] With Fans In Fukuoka

 

Headline 11th: SM Entertainment Share Practice Video Of 5 Pieces’ Dancing To Rihanna’s [Breaking Dishes]

++ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - ++

++ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -+ - + - ++

X. devonalias