Chapter 74 - Hike

Youngest of Pieces: Five Years in History (9)

Morning arrives with a headache for Hannah. She whines in her sleep and lies awake when everyone else is sleeping, and for once she has turned her alarm off to not be woken up if she eventually falls asleep. She hasn’t been able to sleep at all. Julia came back late and was talking on the phone right outside Hannah’s room, Jonghyun called after his radio and talked for a while, and after that she has just been turning and whining uncomfortably in her bed. Several of times she was about to ask Jonghyun if he doesn’t want to come over, hoping that would give her some sleep, but then she remembers they will film Good Sister today too and she just rolls around with a sigh.

No one is awake when Hannah gives up. It’s morning; she wouldn’t get much sleep if she somehow ended up falling asleep now anyway.

She gets dressed in a pair of big sweatpants to her raglan-sleeve top, the clothes hanging on her as if they are too big, and she head out of her room with laptop under one arm and cell phone in the other. Walking downstairs, Hannah puts it in the office and goes to the bathroom while turning on some of the cameras downstairs. She greets the cameras while doing so, for a few even clapping her hands together one quiet time as if ‘camera rolling’ sign, and without a word she walks around to get a drinking yogurt from the kitchen, look out the window to guess the weather and then head to the office where she comfortably sits down in her chair and turns on the laptop. Two cameras has she switched on in the office she shares with Carolina. Carolina’s corner has some empty snack-bags on the table, a mess that shows Carolina ate quite a lot yesterday when she was working here. A huge bottle of Coca-Cola, almost empty, is standing under the table too. She is sneaking around with this, their managers wouldn’t allow it if they knew. So while waiting for her laptop to start, Hannah cleans up the empty bags and the Coca-Cola bottle, she washes her hands and sits back down by her desk, taking out a notebook and plugs in the headphones to the laptop to turn on some music.

Within minutes she is sitting there, completely focused on writing. She isn’t really sure what she is writing, she is writing for her book series of JOE but she isn’t sure this will be good, yet she can’t stop letting her fingers fly over the keys on her laptop.

The drinking yogurt is completely forgotten next to her and the only times Hannah actually shifts position is when straightening her back, otherwise she is so focused on writing down what’s in her mind. Half an hour passes like that, she must look obsessed. She wonders when in 2015 the next book will be released, they haven’t talked about it at all. Maybe she will have to call her publisher and ask about it.

Somehow she ends up sitting there for two hours. It’s not hard to sit by the laptop for two hours, it’s easy to get lost in the world of technology, but to write for two hours is something she hasn’t done in a long time. Before coming to Korea, Hannah used to write for hours every day, she wasn’t good but when she later looked back at what she had written she realised she had gotten better. Now, she writes to be published. She has a contract so no doubt her two published books so far are only her beginning as a writer, but she still wonders if she will look back on her first books and realise she has gotten so much better. Hannah is barely aware of what she keeps thinking about when writing; all she knows is that she fills one page after the other.

She can hear the puppies run down the stairs when Julia wakes up, and Hannah wakes up from her laptop trance. She doesn’t turn it off but just takes off her earphones, checks the cell phone before getting out of the office.

“Oh, you’re awake?” Julia looks surprised when seeing Hannah come inside the kitchen. Julia is preparing coffee.

“Mm… You’re up early too.”

“Of course,” Julia chuckles, but she only gives the sound, her face looks newly woken. “I am so excited to go hiking that I couldn’t sleep longer. If it was up to me, we would go now already.”

Hannah smiles and takes a seat at the kitchen table. They are going hiking today, they have it all planned out; Hannah, Julia, Maria and Kyung Ho, along with the two puppies. Hannah is excited for it too; beside from that she has a headache. It’s probably because she is tired, and she hopes it won’t get worse during the day that they will spend hiking. With Julia keeping her company in the kitchen Hannah prepares melon that they will take with them, she and Julia prepare sandwiches for them all too.

Not until around nine does they decide to wake the other two up and start get ready to go hiking. Hannah goes to Maria’s room first, knocking on it before stepping inside and she leaves the door a little open for the camera outside to mostly just hear how Hannah shakes the quilt over Maria, whispering to wake her up and shaking her friend. She has to shake her a lot because Maria doesn’t wake up easily, and Hannah has enough patience to shake her until the captain starts waking up. Hannah whispers to her that they are going hiking, asking her to please get ready, and when knowing Maria will probably not fall asleep again the youngest walks slowly to another bedroom.

Peeking inside, she can see her little brother peek over at her from bed.

“You awake?” she asks.

Kyung Ho nods. She is worried about last night, if he is upset or if he has slept badly because of her. Hannah walks inside; glancing behind her at a camera-man coming after her, and Hannah sits down on her heels next to the bed.

“We’re okay, right?”

“We’re okay,” Kyung Ho tiredly nods, “You woke Maria up so we can go hiking?”

“Yes. And now I am here to wake you up too,” Hannah lightly taps him on the back, “You’re awake, and breakfast is waiting.”

“Have you eaten?” Kyung Ho wonders.

“Just get ready,” Hannah laughs and ruffles his hair, a bad habit of hers. Kyung Ho hurries out of bed to get after her, Hannah rushes down the stairs and Kyung Ho runs after her. Hannah rushes because he follows her and Kyung Ho runs because she is, and the puppies are coming running by the sound of fast feet.

Preparing to go hiking isn’t very difficult, but the ladies have never gone hiking before and this is an opportunity they did not want to miss. The three ladies go in their wardrobe; Maria sits on the floor to pick out clothes for both Hannah and Julia, telling them what clothes looks the best when going hiking in this warm last of April weather. Julia disappears and comes back wearing her own pair of drawstring printed sweat pants in black and a blue t-shirt, while Hannah wears what Maria tells her to; cropped sweat pants (Maria knows Hannah likes that style but these are red and a black printed t-shirt that is too fitting to be comfortable for Hannah but Maria says it looks good so Hannah goes with it – Hannah adds a cardigan to it too, even if Maria says it will get hot).

“Kyung Ho, are you ready?” Maria asks loudly, seeing to be the most excited to go hiking now when she is awake.

She head down the stairs, the last one to come. She poses for the mirror in the hall while they are getting ready with backpacks and sweats; the leader is wearing a pair of drawstring-waist cat-print sweat shorts and a training top, spending five minutes to put up her hair in a ponytail with the others waiting for her.

“Nuna, what are you doing?” Kyung Ho asks when he comes inside the hall with Hannah, seeing Maria still posing for the mirror.

“I’m checking out my look,” Maria answers and pulls him next to her to have him join her. “Don’t we look good like this?”

Hannah puts on the training shoes, matching with the others and even Kyung Ho has gotten a new pair to match them. The boy just laughs at Maria when walking over to put on them, having Maria help him tie them correctly and everyone is making sure they have water and snacks with them in the backpacks. It takes some more minutes since Julia and Maria need to fix their hairs before they can leave, bringing the puppies along and heads to the van waiting for them.

Heading to the hiking day trail Hannah almost falls asleep in the van, so tired after not eating anything than a fruit today.

They are excited about the hiking, though Hannah isn’t in her best condition she hopes that some walking in the fresh air will make her feel better. When arriving by the trail they look at a map on the side that is shown for all hikers coming here, to see where the day trail leads around the mountain. It can take all from twenty minutes to a few hours depending on where you walk; there are stops along the way where you can get some rest or eat what you have taken with you.

With the three ladies, Kyung Ho, the two puppies and the crew, they all start walking. Two of 5 Pieces’ managers stay with the van. Within minutes Maria is at the front being ready to burn some calories for this hiking with her long legs, Kyung Ho is excitedly walking with light steps after her, Hannah and Julia walks in the back with the dogs and the camera crew is surrounding them. Some have walked further up to film, Julia guess they will have trouble later when Maria walks by them and they will have to hurry their steps to film the leader. Since it is in the middle of the week, there are mostly elders hiking at this time, taking their time to enjoy the scenery while walking up-hills. All of them seem curious of the crew walking, an older couple even talks to Hannah and Julia (they are the easy ones to talk to because they don’t walk that fast and they are holding the leashes for the puppies). Julia talks nicely to the old couple while Hannah slowly walks further away with Ryo who has no interest in strangers.

Maria stops at the first rest stop, turning around to look down the hill and the others coming in their own pace. Her long slim arms rest on her hip and she takes deep breaths smiling at Kyung Ho who cheerfully comes up to her.

“Isn’t this great?” Maria asks the boy. “I can feel it in my legs already.”

“Me too.”

“Do you know the song [Eye of the tiger]?” Maria says and gives him one of her earphones. She is listening to music while walking, on a low volume and only one earphone in the ear so she can focus on the others too. She starts bouncing right away when playing the song for him, even doing random dance moves.

“Nuna, I thought we came here to hike,” Kyung Ho jokes with her but he too moves randomly to the fighting song.

“Hiking with good music is the perfect hiking,” Maria coolly answers and smiles as the others are reaching them. “Let’s listen and walk forcefully up the mountain.”

She takes the earphone back, but instead of letting herself listen to music she unplugs the earphones and starts playing it loudly on her cell phone. Maria and Kyung Ho walk first again, listening to the music by themselves and Kyung Ho is trying to keep up with Maria’s pace and she slows down to not make him exhausted. Maria is still aware of Kyung Ho, that he is still a child and that he has spent a lot of time at the hospital growing up.

It doesn’t take long until Kyung Ho is walking some meters behind Maria, to instead walk with Hannah and Ryo.

“Don’t they think it’s hot?” Kyung Ho wonders after a while when they are almost at the top of their goal, his attention on Ryo whose tongue is hanging out, panting. All of them are panting by now, sweating as the weather is quite warm and the sun is hot.

“I think they like it,” Hannah answers, “Ryo loves being outdoors.”

“I think it’s hot,” Kyung Ho smiles.

“Do you want water?” Maria is fast to ask in front of them, her long legs being in good use for the up-hill.

“Yes please!”

After another ten minutes, they sit down to take a break, sweating in the damp weather and tired from walking up-hills. But the view gets better the higher they go, and Hannah’s headache got better at the fresh walk. The longest break is at the top of their goal, where they sit down to eat lunch and rest, the puppies lying down tiredly after drinking water and the others are eating. Hannah drinks some water, not much because her headache has come back now when she has sat down, and the headache is so bad that it reaches her stomach – she thinks if she eats anything she will throw up – and she doesn’t eat anything either. No one seems to notice though, too busy eating and looking around at the view. They play a game too; the looser has to run up to a big stone they can see and run back, and though Julia is the one coming up with the game she is the one loosing; making the others happy. Kyung Ho plays with some water when they eat, his hand gets wet before he puts the hand on Maria’s arm to make her scream, laughing so much.

It’s fun, it takes time to hike and they enjoy it, not being in a hurry and keep talking about this and that. They say that Emelia and Carolina will be jealous of this trip later, for not coming along.

By the time they start walking down again, Hannah’s back is hurting. Out of nowhere it hurts so much, and the way down is deeply painful for her body and mind with headache and back-pain. She walks with her hands on her back, trying to stretch it and walking differently trying to find a pose that she is comfortable with and she has to make stops to squat down as that helps the back-pain a little – having to stand up again when the headache complains. She would want to curse herself for not sleeping and eating for today, for telling herself that she should do better but still not managing it. all of them are tired going down because the way up was so hard, only the puppies seem to have it easier going down than up. Kyung Ho is the fastest heading down, being filled with energy like the puppies which the ladies jokingly say are good for someone his age – they sound so old saying that. He keeps drinking water too, holding a bottle in his hand. Maria fools around with him by throwing some water at him too, they all play around a little with the water they have left, Hannah too, hoping she can get in other thoughts.

It’s not easy, and when they almost are done she feel like she will fall down on her because of her head. She feel dizzy, maybe, she isn’t sure, but either way she sits down on a bench they are about to walk by that Maria points out, and they decide to take a short break even if they are close to being down at the finish. It’s not because of Hannah they take a break, Maria had requested for it.

“Maybe you should eat something,” Maria whispers standing next to Hannah who is sitting on the bench, speaking in Swedish because of the cameras filming them from a distance but Hannah just shakes her head in response. Maria is leaning back a little to look down at the youngest with concern covering her face. Hannah knows she isn’t feeling all that well because she hasn’t slept or eaten correctly, but for Maria she is still seeing that broken-hearted girl who found out that her grandmother is dead – it’s just a week ago Hannah was sitting in front of the grave crying – and that’s why Maria knows after a lot of glances at the youngest, Hannah is not feeling well for many reasons.

“I just … sit down a little,” Hannah mumbles, grimacing. Her head feels numb.

“You look pale,” Maria sighs, taking a step closer to Hannah when glancing over at the others. Kyung Ho is playing with Michin, Julia is holding on to Ryo now and squatting down to rest a little too, glancing over at Maria and Hannah. The leader looks back at her friend sitting on the bench, happy that the camera-men aren’t filming right up in their face. “Do you want some water?”

“I’m fine.”

She is frustrated, Hannah is annoyed at herself. If there weren’t any cameras there, Maria would probably tell Hannah something more, but she is caring and still takes out a bottle of water for Hannah, holding on to it so Hannah knows it is there if she wants it.

Hannah can feel her eyes closing after sitting there for a few more minutes, and afraid she will actually either fall asleep or throw up, she decides to stand up and keep walking. Maria holds on to the bottle of water that Hannah hasn’t touched, not knowing that Hannah’s stomach only contains water at the moment and it makes the youngest feel all weird again. As soon as they have taken a few steps, Hannah’s head really starts spinning, not knowing what is up and down and before she can have time to fall on the ground Maria holds on to her arm to help her sit down as she can’t hold Hannah up by herself.

It’s a blur after that. Hannah doesn’t know if she is awake or not, she can just feel her head spinning. She doesn’t know that they call for an ambulance, that the camera-men are too busy being of help that they just film messily, how scared Kyung Ho gets and that it is Julia and Maria who calms him down when the ambulance has arrived, that Maria tries to get Hannah’s attention for her to not faint, that minutes feels like hours…

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Hannah wakes up at the hospital, feeling dizzy and nauseas. She has a needle in her arm, and she almost starts crying when remembering what happened. Looking next to her, she tears up seeing Manager Lim sitting there with his head down, looking to be asleep. So many emotions go through her, so many questions, and she is terrified that she once again has ended up at the hospital. This time she feels worse than ever, because a vague memory of Kyung Ho crying hits her like a bullet through her chest. She looks around the room without moving a muscle below her neck, in search to find out what time it is and she finds a clock on the wall, her view blurry from tears. It’s been a few hours, she can not believe it when she sees it, and she closes her eyes tiredly to drift back into sleep. She is so tired.

Next time she wakes up, Manager Lim is awake, noticing her blinking right away.

“Hi…” he softly but quickly says, his face is soft too while she knows he is upset for what happened. She can feel his hand on her arm when he leans forward.

“Where’s Kyung Ho?” Hannah whispers, it’s the most important thing she has to know.

“At home, in the apartment with the ladies,” Manager Lim slowly answers. She doesn’t know that he is relieved she remembers he was there when she fainted. “They keep him calm, but he wants to sit where I am sitting, I guess.”

Hannah leans her head back to look up at the ceiling. It is tiring to look at the side.

“You only ask about Kyung Ho?” Manager Lim wonders. “You have no questions about your own condition?”

She pouts in response, not really wanting to know her condition as she can guess her way there. She wonders though what her members will say about this; if Jonghyun knows… Manager Lim sighs, moving his chair closer to the bed so he can lean forward with his arms resting on the bedside.

“You collapsed. Fatigue is the main reason,” Manager Lim explains, “I have talked to the doctor and you will stay here until morning to get some rest.”

When she had woken up, Manager Lim pressed a button, and though Hannah thinks there are secret cameras in the room that lets the nurse know when she wakes up because a doctor makes his entrance, she is quiet not knowing it was her manager calling him in.

“How are you feeling?” the doctor asks, a nurse coming in with him.

“Tired.”

“You should be. I tried to get to know from your friends earlier what you had eaten in the past 24 hours, but no one could say that you had really eaten anything,” the doctor goes straight to the point and Hannah glances to the side at her manager. She will be scolded by him later; she can already feel his eyes change as he kind of expects what kind of answer she will give.

“I hadn’t- … Maybe a fruit?”

“In 24 hours?”

“Mm…” She doesn’t remember the yogurt she had taken.

“Okay…” the doctor writes down in the notes, “Any reason for not eating?”

“I had a headache and thought I was going to throw up,” Hannah mutters, wanting to sink in under the quilt because of the annoyed sigh Manager Lim gives. The doctor keeps asking questions, asking why she had a headache and if she gets it often and just an endless of questions that she should be used by getting. Her eyes can barely stay open after a while and the doctor tells her to sleep some more.

And Hannah gets to sleep.

For the rest of the day they do a few tests but mostly Hannah gets to sleep. In the morning when she wakes up, she is alone in the room. As soon as she notices she is alone she presses the button to call for the nurse (she knows of its existence she just hadn’t seen her manager call on them that other time), and when the nurse comes inside she asks a few questions before leaving, a little later the doctor comes inside. The only thing Hannah can think of is to leave. She has slept there under the night like they told her to, and now she wants to go home and make sure Kyung Ho isn’t worrying too much, and that her boyfriend isn’t furious at her again. But the doctor wants to sit down and talk to her, in simple words explaining things for her and though he uses simple words she only understands half of it.

“I will give you a prescription of two different medicines that you will have to take daily. I have already talked it through with your manager. It will not interrupt your schedule or anything like that, but I would want you to take your health diary seriously and use it daily,” the doctor is explaining after fifteen or twenty minutes of talking. “I also want you to meet a specialist that the hospital recommends for you, to get control of your body and your habits – I have already booked a meeting later today that I want you to attend. Your body is fragile; lack of sleep and food is not good for the kind of occupation you have.”

One of the prescriptions is for nausea; for the food to stay in her stomach so she can eat. And the other prescription is for the pain in her body. He wants her to call if she gets another headache, asks about her memory (if she has any memory loss, if she has trouble remembering things and if she mixes up words), and after another ten minutes they are interrupted by Manager Lim coming inside with breakfast. Right away by the sight of food, Hannah doesn’t want to eat it. But she has to, so she can go home and meet Kyung Ho – to calm the nerves of the people she cares for. Hannah knows she can’t skip meals, she has said she will do better, and she hopes the medicine can help her because she doesn’t want to continue like this. It wouldn’t please anyone. She just hopes she can do it.

Getting in the van at the hospital garage with her manager, Hannah burst out in tears.

She can’t explain why, she is just overwhelmed by emotions of things she has said and of things that has happened. She told Jonghyun she wish to get better with the way she eat and treat herself, and a few days later she is at the hospital because she does not treat herself well. She sits down at the very back of the van to cry by herself, but she doesn’t get to be by herself even if her manager drives quietly at the front. It’s her cell phone that occupies her. Text messages, a few missed calls, the calls are from her boyfriend and members but the text messages are a mix of worries from a lot of people. She frowns seeing some of them, and somehow her mind puts it all together and she searches online.

Last night the article came out; ‘5 Pieces’ Hannah Revealed To Have Been Brought To The Emergency Room During Filming of Good Sister’. That’s the reason to the concerned messages she has on her phone. Hannah doesn’t care much about that, she only calls one person, her eyes teary and she rests her head on the side against a blanket she has put up against the window to make it comfortably. She is so tired.

Jonghyun answers quickly, and he must’ve seen she was the one calling because he is bursting out in questions and worried comments, almost crying out that she is absolutely impossible.

He had received a text message from Maria yesterday, being told what happened and that it isn’t anything serious just Hannah grieving in the way they all know she tends to do. This time he is understandable. He isn’t angry at her, and Hannah wonders if it is because she broke up with him once or because her grandmother has passed away. Maybe they accept certain things, Hannah isn’t sure. When he asks how she is feeling all she can say is that she is tired; and it is the most tempting thing to hear when he says he can always come by later. She wants him to, but they don’t decide anything, but he does talk to her for the whole ride to the agency.

5 Pieces will be practicing today, the ladies are already there and Kyung Ho has gone to school – he went after hearing Hannah is leaving the hospital, just to make sure she won’t stay there longer – and Hannah will head to the practice-room. Manager Lim had brought clothes with him for her to change at the hospital, but Hannah can guess one of the ladies helped him to choose the black scoop-neck t-shirt and denim distressed shorts in black, but her favourite is the embroidered baseball cap that she wears. It’s a joy to have long hair and wear a cap when you want to get “invisible”, and you always want to get “invisible” when arriving at SM Entertainment’s building because there are always fans there. This time, Hannah is sure they all know she has been at the hospital, and she do not want her picture to be taken so people online can bash how she looks, endless of hate and disgust of who she is. Hannah hates it, how people take a glance of her and come up with rumours and whatnot, always wanting to push her down. It’s their beauty of being anonymous.

Manager Lim parks the car outside the agency, Hannah says goodbye to Jonghyun and she looks out the window to see it is not just fans there today, knowing her manager is looking at her from the front.

“Walk with me, don’t look up, don’t say a word,” he tells her, something Hannah shouldn’t be told after all these years.

She nods without looking away from the window; fans have already reacted to whose van it is. Her manager had called the guards before arriving which means there are now two-three guards coming out the building to remind fans and journalists to keep their distance. Manager Lim gets out of the car first while Hannah jumps over to the middle seats, her manager waving at fans to step away from the van. Inside the van the outside is a blur, you can’t hear everything clearly, but as soon as Manager Lim opens the slide-door for Hannah to get out the shouting from journalists and fans burst out in massive voices that she would never have needed a reminder of what to do; Hannah automatically lowers her head, hiding under her cap, and Manager Lim closes the door with a hand on her arm.

“Hannah! Hannah!” voices are shouting, cell phones held up to take pictures. She doesn’t even glance up, trusting her manager to guide her straight to the building’s doors.

“Is it true you are starving yourself?!” a loud voice bravely shouts out from a distance, a journalist, and fans starts shouting at the journalist to stop while Hannah can hear a few voices tell her to get better soon and say they will wait for 5 Pieces’ comeback.

She isn’t sure what hurts the most. That people think she is starving herself or that there are fans standing up to her. Maybe that she takes these things more to her heart than she should is what hurts her the most. She is fragile, not just her body but her mind too. Inside the building, she almost has to sit down to not break down, thinking she will start crying any second. Instead of sitting down she is in a hurry to find her members, and the walk to the practice-room is spent holding back her tears. It’s not just about fainting, it’s about her grandmother and family and the stress and feeling bad for how she treats the people she care about. The practice-room has voices in it that dies out the moment Hannah enters, and Hannah has no idea of how it goes but she knows that within seconds she is hugging Emelia, sobbing but doing her best to hold back her tears.

“Okay, okay…” Emelia pats her comforting on the back, “We aren’t angry at you…”

“Emelia was angry,” Carolina says, bouncing over to them in hope she will receive a hug too, though Hannah is not letting go of Emelia. “I was never angry, I was just worried.”

“Carolina, shut up,” Emelia sighs and turns around to face somewhere else, still patting Hannah on the back.

“Yeah, shut up,” Maria sighs at the mascot and slinks up behind Hannah to join the hug. “We got five minutes to hug before we have to practice, or in ten minutes if you need it.”

“It’s okay,” Hannah mumbles. “I’m sorry.”

Her members think it’s because she fainted yesterday, and maybe it should, but Hannah is too wrapped up in everything at once. She doesn’t hug her members for long, finding it strange after a while, and instead wipes her tears and releases a sigh, asking if they are ready to practice. Emelia shakes her head. Before doing anything, Emelia wants to tell Hannah about all the bad about fainting and worrying people, the other members jumps in as well and once again they give Hannah a lecture where she only nods and repeats she will do better. Hannah is not allowed to practice much, and she wants to throw a tantrum each time her manager tells her to take a break, letting the other ladies continue. Yet she likes that someone tells her to stop because she is exhausted, she is still tired and her body and mind need the rest. Twenty minutes dancing, twenty minutes resting, other that it feels like ten minutes dancing and forty minutes resting.

Hannah falls asleep after a while, too bored to just sit and look at practice, and no one wakes her up because they know she needs the sleep.

“So what do you want to do, not let her go?” Maria is frowning, sitting on the floor in the practice-room with the others. Hannah is sitting on the floor by the wall further away; her head on the side and Manager Lim has put a blanket over her. She seems to be sleeping well.

“You think she can pull through the memorial service like this?” Julia asks and looks over at the sleeping friend.

“Hannah would never allow it,” Emelia shakes her head. “She will feel worse being left out, ladies, it’s better to let her go with us. I know I would want the same if I was in the same situation.”

“Yeah, but you do not hurt yourself when you feel bed,” Julia hisses.

“Ladies,” Manager Lim whispers, but Maria is fast to say;

“Myung and his family asked us to go with them, including Hannah. Don’t you think it will be like a closure for her? We all look for that,” Maria is saying. Tomorrow they will go to the memorial service for the Sewol incident, they have planned to go with Myung and his family and all the dancers are going too. Not everyone at once, they don’t want to take attention, but with what happened yesterday they are not sure if Hannah should go at all. They all glance over at Hannah again, having different opinions. There is no question if Hannah will make the decision herself; they all know what she will answer.

“I will ask the agency about it. Until then, don’t mention it for her; we don’t want her to stress up again,” Manager Lim makes the decision and stands up. “Return to practice ladies.”

He gets up and leaves the room after making sure the ladies are also getting up on their feet, and when he has left the ladies return to practice for their Osaka concert, with Hannah sleeping in the back. They can turn on the music and Hannah is still asleep,

“She must be deadly tired for sleeping like this,” Carolina mentions.

“I haven’t seen her sleep in the practice-room in five years,” Emelia comments and turns Carolina around to start dancing.

Half an hour later, Hannah is still sleeping in the practice-room. The day is slow and simple for the group; the other members are still practicing, not minding that Hannah is sleeping in the back as it gives them the chance to practice without a teacher or manager telling them to continue when they want to take a break or when they end up talking about the choreographies. The difference now compared to half an hour ago is that Hannah is not sitting by herself; Jonghyun is sitting next to her, he has let her head rest on his shoulder and he is holding her hand – not once did Hannah react. He even had to ask if she has been given anything for be sleeping this hard, but the ladies shook their heads.

Finally waking up after some more minutes, Hannah’s heart begins racing feeling someone holding on to her hand but when she in a reflex starts moving her hand away, Jonghyun holds it tighter until she looks up at him and he lets go of her hand. He is smiling out at the room, his hand held open on her lap so she can take it again when realising it was him.

Without a word she rests her hand on his shoulder again but instead of taking his hand she hugs on to his arm.

“Did you sleep well?” Jonghyun asks in a low voice, turning his head so he can rest his lips against her hair.

“Mm…” Hannah sighs, confused when seeing the time on the wall. “I’m tired…”

“Do you want to get something to eat?” Jonghyun asks, thinking she needs food to get energy. And he has already asked the other members of their schedule today to ask if he can leave with Hannah later – if Hannah allows him to take her.

Hannah looks at her members dancing, and at the clock on the wall. She doesn’t answer his question, in one moment forgetting he asked and in another moment hoping she doesn’t have to answer because she is supposed to be practicing with her members. She looks at the time again, confused; she has been sleeping all this time? Blinking she tries to keep her eyes awake, yawning against Jonghyun’s arm and she begins to stretch out her body. She has to practice. Just those words I have to practice goes through her mind several of times until she actually makes a move for it. Before moving she gives Jonghyun’s shoulder a peck with her lips, she gets up on her feet and had timed it with when the song 5 Pieces is practicing comes to an end.

“Ah, you’re awake?” Emelia chuckles when seeing Hannah coming up to them, looking like she could need some more sleep.

“Mm…” Hannah mumbles, groggily walking to her position just to have Carolina push her one step forward to be at the real position.

Jonghyun stays seated in the back by the wall, his eyes focused on Hannah as she starts to practice with her members. Through the mirror-reflection he can see she is still not fully awake, her eyes look distant and tired and her expression stays blank while her body is moving along to her members and the choreography that she knows. Only Hannah can feel her back giving cracking sounds from sitting by the wall for too long, but through the song she warms up her body and she moves easier with a warm body. The ladies are focused on the practice, liking that Hannah just joined them like she did before, before she had fallen asleep. They are aware of Jonghyun sitting in the back, Carolina is secretly happy Hannah did get up to dance with them instead of sitting in the back with her boyfriend, while Maria wonders if they should stop the practice to let Jonghyun take Hannah out for something to eat. They practice through a few songs before taking a break, Jonghyun smiling as the music is stopped and the ladies turns around to take their seats. Hannah sits down next to him, hugging on to his arm again.

“You can leave now if you want,” Maria tells the couple. “We’re wrapping up here anyway.”

Jonghyun looks down at Hannah, the youngest looks like she has lost her voice. “Are you ready to leave?” he asks her.

“I can’t leave with you,” Hannah grimaces at him.

“Why not…?” Jonghyun is confused, the ladies too, and for a second he is worried for her.

“There are fans out there,” Hannah answers as if it is the most known fact in the universe. “I can’t just leave the agency with you in front of them.”

Maria laughs, her nervousness coming out with the laugh and she claps her hands together while everyone releases the breath they had held in at Hannah’s words. She grimaces at her friends, having no idea of how worried they got at her words at first, and she looks upset at them all. Maria is fast to say that Jonghyun can leave first, and they can meet at the apartment or somewhere for Hannah to change car. The leader sounds so relieved to hear Hannah’s logic, thinking the youngest is more realistic than the others at the moment. Just imagine how crazy it would be if Hannah and Jonghyun walked out of the agency together and left in his car – fans would go insane for months.

The boyfriend leaves the agency first, about ten minutes later the girl-group leaves together in the van. Only when sitting in the van does Hannah start realising that she has plans to go out and eat with her boyfriend, and she starts whining about her outfit.

“Don’t be stupid, you look nice,” Maria compliments her.

Hannah pouts. She is still tired, and she feels bad for being such a bad person. She expected to be deadly scolded by her members, but they didn’t scold her as much as she thought, they weren’t as angry as she thought either. She can’t talk with her members in the van, she doesn’t know what to say, and the more she thinks the more she wants to embrace them and thank them for being her friends, but in the end she doesn’t hug them or say anything. She just gets out of the van, telling them to get home safely and then hurries to Jonghyun’s car where he is sitting and waiting for her.

Neither does she talk much with Jonghyun. He talks, then he pauses and Hannah has to take many seconds to come up with a follow-up question for him to continue talking. Jonghyun finds it obvious, it’s easy to notice she doesn’t want to talk, but he isn’t really sure what she wants as she continues to ask him questions for him to talk. He holds her hands while he drives, he touches her leg too, and he glances at her, anything to let her know that it is okay if she doesn’t want to talk.

She doesn’t notice that he is driving around a bit first before asking where they should eat. Hannah turns her head to look at him, and Jonghyun repeats his question because her blank face doesn’t let him know she heard him the first time.

“Hong Suk Chun’s restaurant is good… and private,” Hannah quietly suggests.

She doesn’t know many restaurants but the actor Hong Suk Chun never fails to impress with the food at his restaurants. Jonghyun nods. “Should we call and warn him?”

Hannah nods in agreement. It takes seconds before she realises she is the one who should call and she picks up her cell phone to begin searching for his name. She acted in a drama with Hong Suk Chun two years ago, and he is a friend who definitely has a lot of contacts. If you contact Hong Suk Chun, he will make sure you get the treatment you ask for, and in this case Hannah and Jonghyun want to secretly eat lunch together. He gets a surprise to hear from her and is fast to ask about her health and comment he saw she went to the hospital; when Hannah asks about the restaurant he says he is not there at the moment but will call in and ask them to prepare for a secret little date. The talkative Hong Suk Chun talks with her for a few minutes, to briefly catch up, before they hang up so he can call the restaurant.

As soon as she has hung up, Jonghyun brings his hand up to her shoulder, caressing her hair with his fingers.

“What?” Hannah quietly asks, blinking at him without knowing why he suddenly starts to caress her hair.

“Nothing…” Jonghyun calmly answers and smiles at her, then changes the subject: “I’m hungry…”

She smiles at him for that comment, and she starts laughing when he out of nowhere begins to sing some random song.

After eating, Hannah will have to go to the hospital for an appointment she has, and after that she head home to spend the evening with her members and Kyung Ho – without any cameras.

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Headline 30th: 5 Pieces Donates Money To The Sewol Relief Effort

Headline 30th: 5 Pieces’ Hannah Revealed To Have Been Brought To The Emergency Room During Filming Of ‘Good Sister’

 

MAY, Headline 01st: SM Entertainment Assure Fans That Hannah’s Condition Is Alright, No Schedule Cancelled

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x. devonalias

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SuperShannon
#1
Chapter 81: Yo, it's almost time for going back to school
Could you keep uploading a chapter twice a week please?
min2key
#2
Chapter 81: thank you for the updates.

have a nice holiday author-nim :)

figthing! ^^
SuperShannon
#3
I know that it's early but Merry Christmas
Could you upload this story with more chapters please
It's Christmas break!
SuperShannon
#4
Chapter 79: Aren't you uploading the lyrics too?
SuperShannon
#5
Chapter 78: All cause of me, I requested them
min2key
#6
Chapter 74: oh! I thought this was completed already as it says earlier that it was completed... hahhahaa anyways fighting!
atowah #7
Chapter 73: Wow wonderful story ♡
I like this idea it is amazing ;)
Fighting ♥
min2key
#8
Thank you for this such great story... I really enjoyed reading it... :)
SuperShannon
#9
Could you continue updating this story please, pretty please!!!
min2key
#10
Chapter 69: another update! :) and I must say every update is worth waiting for... keep it up! fighting! :)