The recording takes longer than planned, and when Hannah and Carolina comes home, Kyung Ho has already gone to bed. Hannah takes a shower, gets dressed in the sponsored pyjamas and walks downstairs where the ladies are.

“Did you know that whenever we appear on the show, we are sitting in here like this,” Maria tells Hannah from the sofa, eating ice-cream like the night before. Four episodes have already been aired on TV, 5 Pieces seems to spend every night in the living-room watching TV when Kyung Ho has gone to bed. Hannah takes a seat in the sofa, sitting by Maria’s feet with a small yawn behind her hand, aware of the cameras filming.

“Maybe you should do something else then,” Hannah suggests and picks up Ace to hug in her arms, watching the TV where the American Criminal Minds is airing. Hannah is sure the audio will be caught on camera, the screaming and Americans talking.

“Yeah, I thought of that,” Maria slowly says, focused on the TV. “Sleeping and eating isn’t very fun for the show though.”

Hannah gives her a glance. Maria is eating ice-cream now… How is that not eating? If this does air, it will be fun though; sitting and watching TV and eating should be more entertaining than see a person go from sleeping to eating back and forth. True.

“I would love to see him walk around shirtless through a whole episode of this,” Maria mentions and Hannah giggles when seeing the muscular Derek Morgan, character in the criminal series. Maria fancies him for his body, voice, face, character, and his relationship on the show with all the other characters, his smile … Pretty much everything then. Maria imitates him saying ‘baby girl’, her toes poking Hannah when telling it to her.

“Don’t call me that,” Hannah smiles at the weird voice Maria uses, hugging on to Ace in her arms.

Hannah watches the episode with Maria, not sure what else to do. Carolina walks by to go to the kitchen and get something to eat, just a fruit because they aren’t really allowed to eat at night (they aren’t very good on that), then she head to her room. Hannah and Maria goes to bed after watching Criminal Minds too, and when lying down in bed Hannah sees that Jonghyun has texted her. Unbelievable. What is she supposed to do with him? It’s basic texting, just asking about this and talking about that – texting for over an hour.

She sleeps for a few hours, when waking up she is just lying in bed spacing out, slowly waking up from a night not getting a good sleep. She blames Jonghyun. Not because they were texting each other but because her mind was too occupied with him that she couldn’t sleep – like all other nights without him.

With a sigh she gets up, washes up and gets dressed when there are no cameras around and as soon as she steps out of her room there are cameras welcoming her. She lowers her head, greeting the crew in a low voice, her eyes big but she is still not clearly awake like all mornings. She takes a peek inside Kyung Ho’s room, seeing that he is still sleeping and she head downstairs to prepare breakfast – their maid prepared breakfast yesterday before cameras came so Hannah just has to read the note to know what to take out and warm and cook for it to easily be prepared. She eats a cooked egg while preparing breakfast, trying to wake up while checking the time.

She head back upstairs when breakfast is made and walks inside Kyung Ho’s room, taking away the curtains for the morning light to come in – it’s clouds in the sky, so it doesn’t get much brighter.

“Time to wake up, Kyung Ho,” Hannah quietly tells him in a light voice. “Breakfast is waiting.”

He gives out a whine and pulls the quilt over him. “I’m not hungry,” he whines under there.

“Then I’ll go to see your friend on my own,” Hannah tells him, heading towards the door but sees Kyung Ho throw the quilt off to look at her standing at the end of his bed by the door.

“We’re going?” he asks her.

“Get dressed and eat breakfast first,” Hannah answers, waiting by the door while Kyung Ho gets up. Knowing he is not going to lie down, Hannah head to her room to grab a shoulder-bag to head downstairs. She knows she might come off a little colder than usual, but the TV-show can blame it on that she is tired.

Kyung Ho is quickly dressed and comes running too, too busy to run to the kitchen to eat that he just runs by the puppies happily wanting to greet him. He takes a seat, sitting on his knees by the table when stretching over to the food, putting it in his mouth with a glance at Hannah who is taking out juice for him, her back facing him so she can’t see that he starts eating with his hands. When she turns around, Kyung Ho starts to sit down correctly and starts eating right too.

“Are we leaving right away?” Kyung Ho asks her with big eyes when Hannah puts down the juice on the table.

Hannah nods. “Mhm,” she tells him, “Are you bringing something?”

“Flowers?” Kyung Ho says. He can’t sit still on the chair when eating. “Could we get that?”

“Of course,” Hannah nods again and takes a seat in front of him, eating a little too to keep him company. “Maria said you wrote a letter to him?”

Kyung Ho pouts out his lips at her, chewing quietly. “I won’t let you read it,” he tells her and takes a big spoon of rice. “You will get to hear it when I read it for him.”

Tonight when Hannah will do her solo-interview, she will be asked of where they were going. ‘Kyung Ho didn’t have many friends when he grew up. He spent a lot of time at the hospital, where he met another child with the same disease he has. This child was sicker though, and passed away five years ago. So we decided to visit his grave together. Kyung Ho wanted to.’ Hannah has heard a lot of things about Kyung Ho’s friend, but she has never visited his grave before. It was Kyung Ho’s suggestion for the show, so he actually can show the grave to Hannah because they never have time for it otherwise.

They eat up the breakfast, Manager Lee picks them up and they are out on the road going to the graveyard. On the way, Hannah keeps glancing at Kyung Ho. She has never really visited a grave before, not of her own relatives or of anyone she knows, but she grew up living next to the church so she used to walk around on the graveyard many times. She would see how young some people were when they died written on the gravestones, some were old and probably died out of their age, but she could count some kids barely became five years old. The child Kyung Ho knew was a few years older than him, and though Kyung Ho had been very young at the time, he still remembers him a lot because they pretty much grew up together at the hospital. Hannah doesn’t know what to tell him, how to act at a time like this, she had even asked Jonghyun about it last night and gotten some basic advices that she pretty much could have figured out herself. But Kyung Ho seems normal, like he is really going to meet a good friend of his; he talks about his friend, telling Hannah and Manager Lee about things he remembered them doing at the hospital.

They stop by to buy flowers to the grave, and when reaching the place Kyung Ho is letting Hannah hold the flowers while he holds the letter and he holds on to her hand too while guiding her to the grave. When letting go of Hannah’s hand he gets the flowers and he walks over to put it on the grave, stepping back to look at it and he takes Hannah’s hand in his again. it is a pretty gravestone, looking alike to the others on the graveyard, and the flowers give it a better look.

“Nuna,” Kyung Ho says over the silence, “I think you would have liked him.”

“You think? Why?” Hannah kindly wonders. It’s weird standing there with cameras around them. She wishes they would have gotten here earlier, without the cameras, for it to not be a broadcast thing, but for it to be a memorable event for his friend. She feels bad being called his older sister when they do this in front of cameras, as if everything in her life is filmed and broadcasted, yet, when she glances at Kyung Ho, it is as if there are no cameras around, and all he is thinking of is the good friend he grew up with at the hospital.

Kyung Ho smiles up at her, then smiles at the grave moving closer to her. “Because he understood me the way you do,” he answers in a low voice, then steps forward to change the position he put down the flowers on. Hannah just smiles at his words, not sure she should say something to that.

He stands next to her when taking out the letter, clearing his throat to read it out loud – but he makes sure to tell Hannah to not look at the letter and just listen, like his friend is doing in heaven. Hannah nods, promising that and watches him when he focuses on the letter in his hands, starting to read. His hand-writing is cute, Hannah can see that much.

“‘Hyung, hello, it’s Kyung Ho’,” he starts reading awkwardly but sincere. “‘I am almost ten years old now. I have gotten healthy, and I have something that makes me happy. Hyung, I’m sorry for not visiting you earlier. I feel bad for many things. My friend, you had siblings and family staying with you every day at the hospital, you always smiled to me. I have wished death took me instead of you, because you had so much.’” He swallows; probably aware of that Hannah is looking at the grave trying not to cry at his letter. He reads each sentence part by part, making sure to stop when each sentence ends, making the letter feel longer and it gives Hannah time to take in every word he says. “‘I’m sorry for not wanting that anymore. I wished you were here so we could be happy together. Hyung, I am acting now. I am now filming a really, really fun drama, I think you would have liked it. I really wished you could see that, but maybe you can from heaven. Can you see me from heaven? I have so many things to tell you, Hyung. There is something I have wanted to tell you. Hyung once told me that life was always waiting around the corner for us, that we just had to look for it, do you remember that? I met life, and it is beautiful. There are so many things I want you to see, there are a lot of places I want to visit with you, people I want you to meet. If you see me from heaven, we can go together, right?’ … ‘And Hyung, don’t worry about me. I am doing fine. I study hard and work hard; I hope you can see it.’”

He looks up at Hannah who gives him a small smile when he is done reading. She had given a glance at the camera with a sad smile during his reading, wanting to hold in her tears so badly. Kyung Ho lowers his letter to look at the grave.

“I miss you, Hyung,” he tells the grave in a low voice.

This young boy has such a pure heart that Hannah is struggling so much with her tears, just wanting to hold on to him and tell him that everything is okay, to really be an older sister who will be at his side in both good and bad. Kyung Ho folds the letter nicely and puts it down between the flowers before taking a seat in front of the grave.

Hannah keeps a distance, not sure if she should be too close because she never met the boy before, keeping her eyes on Kyung Ho; she is awkward with the cameras there, but she can’t help but to worry about her own friend just sitting there and staring at the grave. Kyung Ho bites on to his lip when tearing up, mumbling that he has missed his friend a lot during this time, eventually starting to cry, pouting and wiping the tears sloppy with the back of his hand, trying to do it well with his sleeves. As soon as Hannah sees he is crying she squats down next to him, putting her arms around him and resting her head on his to comfort the boy. Kyung Ho gives out a sound, holding out his hands in the air for a hug and Hannah sits down on ground with him for him to hug her better, crying in her arms with the tears falling on her jacket.

She sits there with him in her arms for some time, Kyung Ho cries until he is wiping his face against her clothes, sobbing. Hannah pats his head, waiting for him to calm down, not being in a rush at all, she is quiet and just hugs him. When he has calmed down Hannah gets to see his face, wiping the tears for him and asking if it’s okay. Kyung Ho nods, sobbing when putting his arms around her neck to hug her again.

“Do you believe he will see me from heaven?” Kyung Ho asks her, his cheek on her shoulder and staring out at the cameras filming them. He moves his head to hide from them.

“I think he has become your guarding angel,” Hannah whispers in his ear, lifting her head when he puts a hand on his face to wipe his tears.

“Then he will always look at me,” Kyung Ho mentions.

Usually when the ladies say that Kyung Ho and Hannah are naïve in the same way, Hannah tends to laugh it off without really agreeing with them. But now, when talking about heaven and the dead friend watching over Kyung Ho, they are on the same level of naïve. Hannah agrees to what he says, and they sit there for some time. Hannah’s gets cold, but she holds on to Kyung Ho until he is ready to get up.

For the solo-interview later, Kyung Ho will sadly sit on the chair and fiddle with his fingers when being asked about visiting the grave in the morning; 5 Pieces went to the practice-room after that. He will be asked about the letter and why he cried. ‘I felt bad. I cried because I felt bad to my friend for living without him,’ he answered, being asked another question and says; ‘Now that I am happy and being able to give happiness to others through acting, I think of him a lot. I want to tell him what I have done, who I have met… I want to tell him about the sisters I have found.’

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The same day, 5 Pieces are in the recording studio for a few hours. They are away from filming Good Sister, going to continue later in the evening and tomorrow before being in Japan all Friday, but right now they are recording another song for the comeback. This time it is a R&B and bounce track with fast melody and it is really fun recording it, a song written by two song-writers (a man called Shin Mintang and SM’s very own Yoo Young Jin) and the music is made by three different producers including Melissa Allen. It will be the most bouncy song on the album, that’s for sure.

Like always it is Park Hyekyung and Pete in the studio with 5 Pieces, helping them record the song.

Most of the time Hannah is just spacing out in the sofa, not even hearing half of the conversations or recording they do in the studio. With no cameras around she can just let go; she doesn’t have to force a smile or force herself to do things, she just waits for her parts and does them with tired eyes and lively voice, to then go sit down in the sofa back at the wall and space out.

Pete looks absolutely clueless. He notices Hannah spacing out, and after a while he is just giving her weird glances, noticing that no one else is caring that the youngest is looking like her soul has left her body.

“What happened?” he eventually asks, and though the question is directed to Hannah it is Julia who answers;

“She broke up with her boyfriend.”

“No way…” Pete gapes at Julia in utter surprise for the answer. “I thought that was an internal joke?”

It’s almost been a month since they broke up, so of course the rumour is being spread around the agency even if Hannah and Jonghyun haven’t spoken a word of it beside from what their members have said – Kai has actually kept quiet about the truth, not that Hannah has asked him but since the EXO members are curious to know it means they haven’t been told.

Maria gives Hannah a glance, hearing Pete and Julia’s conversation.

“I keep hoping it is,” Julia whispers to answer Pete’s question, sighing when grabbing her papers and says she is ready to continue. Maria is done recording and goes to the back to sit down with Hannah, pushing Carolina away as the mascot is just sitting there loudly exchanging ideas for other music with Hyekyung. The leader can not get over Hannah’s behaviour; annoyed that Hannah has opened up to them but that their personal conversations don’t seem to exist anymore because Hannah doesn’t want to talk whenever Maria asks her questions.

The leader can hear Pete ask when they broke up and once again the question is directed to Hannah though she hasn’t shown a sign that she has heard their conversation at all, so once again someone else is fast to answer, this time Maria;

“A month already, and she has been like this most-”

“It’s not a month,” Hannah mutters, suddenly turning to pout at Maria.

“No, it’s a month in about two-three days,” Emelia butts in with her own muttering, rolling her eyes at Hannah who turns away again.

“For so long? But Hannah seemed fine the other day when we were recording,” Pete looks confused.

Park Hyekyung shakes his head, not saying anything but he did notice Hannah were distant and weird last time they recorded – the last few times they have met and talked, actually. Maria gives Hannah a glance, then just glares at her. “Have you decided what you will do with him?”

Hannah’s pout grows when she shakes her head, looking down at her hands. She has kept wondering what to do, how she would react if she actually met Jonghyun again. They have exchanged a few text messages, slightly awkward but comfortable somehow, but each time Hannah ahs been terrified for what to do. She can’t be with him, that would be selfish of her, but can she really spend her years in the same agency as him, with the same kind of career – they will bump into each other constantly, they will have to visit each other’s concerts to show support because in the end their groups are tight, they will meet backstage for music programs and events and radios, they will meet at dinners that the agency gets together after their family concerts… She isn’t sure she can handle it, not when she think of it now, but she need to think of it for his better: it might be awkward and weird meeting now, to bump into each other, but in the future they can probably be friends, right?

“You should still talk to him,” Maria’s voice is saying next to Hannah, and the only reason Hannah reacts to it is because those words makes it sound like Maria could hear all the things being said in Hannah’s head, nothing has come out of . “Just tell him what you told us.”

Hannah keeps pouting, not sure she could handle talking to Jonghyun. She can only remember meeting him three times in the past month; the angry battle in Japan, he slept over all of a sudden and that blurry kiss. This is all too confusing. If she would talk to him, what would the conclusion be? Why would he even want to talk to her?

The recording continues with or without Hannah’s presence, but the youngest somehow ends up resting on Maria’s arm; which satisfies Maria more than the leader lets show because even with her mind lost in thought the youngest still leans on her.

“Oppa, when are you getting a girlfriend, then?” Julia suddenly asks during the recording, and park Hyekyung awkwardly clears his throat.

“You seriously don’t have a girlfriend yet?” Emelia raises an eyebrow.

Park Hyekyung is actually pretty handsome; he is a young and hard working man, only 26 years old, fair skin and black hair. He could be an idol if he wanted – if he worked for that. But that he spends all his time in a recording studio, either recording with idols or creating music by himself, he is always stuck in here that he doesn’t go out being social. The ladies have questioned him all these years working together because he is social; man, he knows every single person in SM Entertainment! But he is just that kind of geek who rather sits in his studio than goes outside, and the funny thing is that the ladies in 5 Pieces are like that at times too so they don’t always force him out on dinner when he turns them down. But he is still 26-going-27 years old; he has been in a few relationships but hasn’t gotten anywhere because he is this kind of a geek. They even tried to set him up with their stylist once (a long time ago, Carolina’s idea), but that just ended with awkwardness.

“Aren’t we here to work now, lady?” Hyekyung awkwardly chuckles at Emelia’s question.

“Even Pete is dating,” Emelia comments.

“Hul!” Pete sounds like he coughs up some saliva at the remarkable comment. “Even Pete is dating? What does that mean?”

Pete is a little overweight and short, he has a funny personality but he always walks around with the same clothes for a week and is always drinking too much coffee – yes, 5 Pieces have said that based on how their producers behave it should be Hyekyung who gets a girlfriend first. Both of them are workaholics so if Pete can date, Hyekyung should manage it too, that’s their point to the comparisons.

Emelia just smiles at Pete, patting him on the shoulder. “Don’t take it the wrong way, I will believe you have a girlfriend when I meet her,” Emelia tells him, making them laugh as she is just fooling around with him. This is an internal joke.

“I don’t have a girlfriend, but I am going on my fourth date this weekend,” Pete tells Emelia, just to boast that he has a date. He even shows a picture he had taken with the girl. “It’s more than what you have, right, EM?”

“Oooh!” Carolina gives out a surprisingly loud impressed sound, which makes the others (actually, Hannah as well) laugh. They laugh more at Carolina’s reaction than at Pete’s competition, and Emelia is even smile when hitting Carolina on the arm. Maria ends up not caring what the others says because Hannah gives a reaction, so the leader is too busy hugging Hannah without saying a thing at all, which makes Hannah just think she is acting weird – acting weird is normal, so it’s really nothing Hannah thinks much of. Carolina can’t stop laughing after her own reaction; even Pete is finding it hilarious and imitating her repeatedly so Hyekyung has to tell him to stop but that just makes Pete do it even more.

Whatever it is troubling Hannah all the time, she can’t help but to smile when her friends are fooling around like this. But with her mind calming down with the help of her friends, she is reminded of why they are there; record a song; record a song for their comeback that probably will be next month; their comeback is soon!

Hannah grimaces at Maria, leaning closer to their leader again because for once Maria is not taking all the attention in the room.

“We’re going to France soon…” Hannah whispers in a panicked voice.

A muffled chuckle is heard from the leader and Hannah can see those big eyes become small when Maria looks at her in a huge smile. “In a week, we will be in France creating the most amazing comeback videos that the world has ever witnessed,” Maria proudly tells her. “And we will be there, 5 Pieces, all together with our bodies and minds and hearts, and we are going to look fabulous. Are you ready for that?”

Without knowing what she is doing Hannah is shaking her head. Maria just smiles at the terrified face-expression Hannah has, and taking on a mix of the mother and leader role, Maria wraps her arm around Hannah and tells her that none of them feel ready at the moment, but once they are there they will get the feeling – she is positive of that.

Hannah doubts their leader’s positivity, not being even a quarter as positive at the moment. It doesn’t matter if she loves the music they have recorded so far, nothing really seems to matter, as if she is stuck in time and no matter how many nights she toss and turns in bed she is still on the same day, though she knows the comeback is closing in she can’t really pull herself together to get her mind straight on where she is, on what she is doing, on what she is supposed to feel.

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“What are you doing tomorrow?” Carolina asks Hannah when they sit down in the practice-room on Saturday, a few days later, resting a bit from practicing to gain strength in their shaky legs. Hannah takes off the high heels she practices in.

“Japan,” she answers, stretching out her legs on the floor.

It’s in the evening; Julia and Maria are at Music Core to show support to Key’s duo debut with Infinite’s Woohyun and also to support SNSD who have made a comeback with [Mr.Mr] recently, and Emelia left the practice-room to take a call. There are no dancers or choreographers in the room today, just the three ladies are there this evening to practice on their own, which they have been doing for every spare minute they have gotten this week. Hannah is wearing matching printed hooded top and drawstring sweat pants in white, looking silly in socks and high heels but it is the most comfortable outfit when spending the day in the practice-room. Yesterday it was White Day, and 5 Pieces spend it promoting in Japan with some radio appearances, events and a performance on Music Station – working in Japan seems easier than being in Korea at the moment for Hannah, even if she feels like a zombie in Japan when they are working she manages to look like she actually is completely fine. The days before while filming Good Sister they were practicing for the comeback a lot too, as Kyung Ho spends the days in school they match it perfectly with practice on the day and filming afterwards.

Hannah thinks of her schedule tomorrow by Carolina’s question, knowing she will be back in Japan. “I’m filming the chocolate commercial tomorrow,” Hannah fills out for Carolina.

“Oh… you have done that for quite some time now, sponsoring for the chocolate, I mean,” Carolina mentions, opening up a new bottle of water for herself.

In the past before they had gone to Korea to become 5 Pieces, Hannah always heard her classmates tease Carolina behind her back. It was around the same time they became friends. Carolina was a little by herself, having two or three people in school she called friends but she knew they were just people talking to her from time to time, but she was so talented. Hannah remembers one time in class she and her sister Jen had been paired up with Carolina for a project; every group were to do a project about a country, and their group chose France. Hannah can’t remember why or how it all went other than Carolina painted this absolutely gorgeous Eifel Tower with just a pencil and paper, and the sisters were so amazed by her drawing skills. Hannah can still remember how detailed it was, that she even asked if she could keep it (this was a few weeks before she actually became friends with Carolina) but her sister, who earlier had been talking behind Carolina’s back, kept saying to her friends how good she was at drawing. Carolina has always been the oddball, even in 5 Pieces who all are kind of oddballs but she somehow is the biggest one, yet she is the most talented member in the field they are working in – when it comes to music she is the most artistic member. Hannah can’t remember how they became friends, all that one day when waiting for class to begin, Julia came up to them and was like “good morning, this is Carolina, can she hang with us today?” and it started. Hannah was in the same class as Carolina for the next class and for the first time Carolina actually sat next to someone, and because Hannah was the one sitting next to Carolina, the others in that classroom didn’t say anything behind her back because Hannah’s sister Jen was among the popular ones.

No matter how many years she tries to remember, Hannah can’t seem to remember what about Carolina it was that made her keep sitting next to her during those classes. Carolina didn’t talk much during the breaks between classes because Emelia and Maria would always talk nonstop. Even Julia had a problem to get her voice heard in the mist of fast conversations and strong opinions. Yet, somehow, though they were five completely different girls who would fight in school and get upset at each other, they went to Korea a year later and have now gotten so far with their friendship that Hannah seems to forget how different it was just a few years ago between them. She is so used being around her members, to be living this life that overwhelms her at times. She don’t think she will ever be able to do anything unless she knows her four friends are somewhere around.

Slowly Hannah is nodding, looking at their mirror reflection to see how tired they are. She can hear Carolina trying to count all the commercials Hannah has been doing for the chocolate brand. “Since 2012,” Hannah agrees and lies down tiredly to not have to see herself in the mirror, “it’s the fifth commercial I’m doing for them – this time they have nuts in the chocolate.”

Carolina’s face shines up and she looks down at Hannah with a glint in her eyes, showing she would really love to eat that. Hannah pretends she doesn’t see it, just sighing when staring up at the ceiling. She will probably get some chocolate bars after the filming tomorrow that she can bring with her to the ladies; the staff is usually that kind to her. She has even gotten boxes filled with chocolate before, which she has shared with staff or fans, but it is easy to say that it is never empty on chocolate in their apartment (beside from when their managers takes it away…).

“It’s insane,” Hannah breathes out in the long silence.

“Mm… Indeed. But you do look really pretty in those commercials,” Carolina nods in agreement, crawling over to lie next to Hannah on her stomach on the cold floor, playing with the high heel practice-shoes Hannah had put there.

Hannah smiles, it wasn’t that she meant. “After being in Japan for two days, we are going to France to film the music videos… It should feel far away, but it is just a few days left…”

Carolina nods in agreement again, sighing too when putting her head on her outstretched arm, looking at Hannah. “I’m not positive about this comeback. I don’t think our fans will like this change,” she admits. Hannah turns to lie on the side to look at her, both of them pouting.

“If not even you can look at it in a positive way, how are the rest of us supposed to pull it through?”

Even back in school Carolina never seemed to be aware of what was being said behind her back. She seemed so lost in her own world, always unreachable to the bad and always seeing the good, and when thinking about it now Hannah wonders if she admired that in the past.

Carolina hears Hannah’s question as praise and smiles. “Well… even the mascot can’t always do the impossible.”

“5 Pieces’ can, Maria says so,” Hannah mumbles, for a second remembering that it was Carolina who started to call herself the mascot because of her happy mood, yet she remember Maria’s speeches about this comeback, being confidence and positive about it. “And we can’t say it is a bad song or choreography, even the concept is great. We just have to be comfortable doing it, and Maria says it will automatically become our style.”

“Yeah… she keeps saying that…”

They share the same worries for the new songs: That the concept will be too much for them, too tough and revealing, too feminine, too y, too much for them to handle. All the songs they have recorded are great, they have their own edge and style but fit the concept of Girls Power so great, but it is just the y part that makes them worry. Hannah is glad she isn’t the only one worrying but at the same time it doesn’t feel good to have the ladies worrying like this, as if they need months more to prepare for this comeback while they just have a few weeks left.

On top of it all, Hannah is in a fast rollercoaster about Jonghyun that makes her stomach twist and turn. They have texted each other a little now and then this week, and it is so confusing for Hannah because she shouldn’t feel this way about him, wanting him back so much when she is the one who broke up with him. After telling the ladies about it, she has talked to them a little more about Jonghyun. Just yesterday when they were in Japan for the whole day she kept whining in the van saying she misses him and she was hugging Julia’s arm saying she wants to hug him. She is more open about it now, mostly just whining, annoying her members in a completely different way compared from her silent treatment earlier. She wants to talk about him with Carolina now too, sitting there waiting for Emelia to come back so they can continue practice the three of them, but it feels weird talking about their comeback and then bring Jonghyun up; two things that shouldn’t be talked about during the same hour because one is completely the hugest thing this year while the other one is just a private childish feeling for Hannah, but it is the two things that Hannah constantly keeps thinking about.

“Should we begin without her?” Hannah ends up asking, already on her way to stand up. She can’t handle being still in silence, her mind wanders off.

Carolina grimaces but agrees to it, the two of them slowly putting the bottles on the side and takes on their shoes to practice [POWER UP]. Emelia comes back just as the music has started and joins them before anyone really starts dancing. It’s difficult practicing this song without all members and the dancers. Hannah pretends to be on a table, not going up there on her own as she was instructed to not do it when the dancers aren’t there (safety) but it seems to be such an empty room with just the three of them.

They practice the song just a few times before Emelia says she is hungry, asking Carolina to go with her to get something to eat.

Like it is usually lately, Hannah doesn’t want to come along. She says she will wait in there for them, and as soon as they have left she goes to check her cell phone – no missed text messages – and she tiredly goes to stare at her mirror reflection with music playing in the background. She is excited for the comeback all of a sudden, to try on the new concept. Staring at herself she wants to know how she suits in pastel hair, what colours she can try out, she is curious to how fans really will react and on what they will think of this kind of concept; she wants to know how the filming of their music videos ends up like.

Her thoughts are interrupted by their new song [Girls Power] starting to play, the song that makes them worry the most, and while standing in front of the mirror she simply starts to dance, more focused on her face-expression than her body. Hannah wants her members, all of them, to prove to themselves that nothing is impossible. She imagines herself at the music video set for the song, wondering what would be y. She isn’t even sure if pastel hair looks y on her; what if she just looks silly?

She walks over to grab a chair in the back corner of the room, starting the song all over and dances the choreography to it. y and chairs, that is what [Girls Power] is in short. It is difficult wearing high heels to it because she has to step up on the chair, basically dance with the chair being part of the choreography for half of the song, and though they have practiced it is still difficult to move freely in high heels. She does her best, just like they have practiced, and she keeps her eyes on the mirror to focus on each movement she makes, barely aware of which parts in the song are hers when just focusing on the choreography and not being too y nor too weak – to find her middle ground in the song. [Girls Power] still need power and confidence in it; other wise they won’t live up to the song. Hannah stops midway and starts the song over again, this time going it through from beginning to end. She finds her face-expression too hard, not y but just angry and sad.

For wearing just sweat pants and a hooded top, Hannah still looks y dancing to this song. She isn’t sure if it is her figure that does it, or it could be the song doing it, or maybe she just knows how to dance ily – either way, she thinks that if she isn’t too embarrassed or insecure or awkward on set in a few days, she can probably pull this off. But as a team, they all need to pull it off. She should tell Maria to give them all the confidence to do it; Maria maybe is already preparing a speech to tell them on the flight to France.

Hannah throws up her head in the choreography when starting the song over again, sitting backwards on the chair to hold an arm on the backrest in front of her, and she looks up at the mirror when taking her hand up through her hair to keep it out of her face and it is part of the choreography as well. Removing the hair to see her mirror-reflection she spots someone entering the room on her right and she stops moving right away, the air caught in and her breathing wavers for seconds. She is just hanging on the chair as if she froze in the choreography position, staring at him.

“You’re alone?”

Though she knows the answer to his question, Hannah looks behind her as if expecting someone to sit on the sofa over by the wall. Jonghyun looks inside to see if she looked at someone, but no one is there. She hurries up on her feet when he steps inside, her face a huge terrified question-mark when walking over to turn the music off and when turning back around her face is blank, taking a hand through her hair again a little quickly as she knows she probably looks like she has been sweating all day – pretty much the truth – and the hair falls down to its place, leaving a single lock lying over the back of her head, not falling back down like the rest. She can’t feel it though. She can’t feel a thing.

“Why-What are you doing here…?” she nervously asks in the sudden silence filling the room without the music. She thinks it echoes in the room when she swallows, dry staring at Jonghyun ily wearing a big sweater and jeans. She finds herself rubbing her arm nervously, but she doesn’t stop. He always looks so good.

“I heard you were practicing, just … came to see how it is going,” Jonghyun answers and gives a nod at his own answer. Is he also nervous? Maybe he expected the room to be filled with people.

Hannah nods too, just a little. She is standing at the other side of the room, awkwardly biting her lip when looking at him – taking him in – not knowing what to say.

“It’s a good song,” Jonghyun mentions and walks inside to try the chair. She is just looking at him move, watching how he sits down on the chair. “Is it a difficult choreography?”

“Mm,” Hannah nods, walking up to him with the remote control to the stereo, keeping a distance though. “It’s different from our previous songs, so it is a challenge to adapt to it.”

“It looked good the little I saw,” Jonghyun comments, giving her a glance before sitting down like Hannah had been sitting when he came in. “I only saw a few seconds though.”

It’s awkward for her. She doesn’t know what he really is doing here, she is deeply happy to see him, but she has no idea of what to say or do because if they were still together she would joke with him or he would say she is y or something like that. They can’t say those things anymore. It makes her quiet, looking at him looking at her. She wonders what he is thinking of, always.

“Can I see it?” Jonghyun wonders, “Or will you teach me maybe?”

“You want to learn the choreography?” Hannah automatically smiles by the thought and Jonghyun smiles wider at her, nodding. “You want to borroe the heels too?”

She shows the heels on her feet and Jonghyun laughs – a clear, wonderful real laugh – before saying he can skip the part with the heels. Hannah can’t stop smiling all of a sudden, taking out a chair next to him to start showing him it part by part, pretending there is no awkwardness between them. Jonghyun imitates her each movement, both of them smiling when looking at what the other one is doing and he even imitates her when she laughs because Jonghyun just looks funny. As soon as Hannah lifts one leg to raise it above the backrest of the chair so her feet get next to each other on the left side, Jonghyun stops imitating and just stares. Hannah stops too, turning around to look at him and she actually laughs at his face-expression.

“You said you wanted to learn it,” she laughs at him, for a second wondering if they might become friends in the end anyway. But her heart tells her she wants to be more than friends, just looking at him she misses the past three years – fighting or not, she has loved every moment with him.

“There is no way I can do that,” Jonghyun strictly says with a finger in the air.

Hannah gets up from her hair and grabs a hold of his leg to lift it up, hearing Jonghyun shout and laugh when leaning back, having Hannah pull his leg over the chair’s backrest that he tries to hold onto, and he glides around on his seat like expected but his legs are really stiff and they are both laughing so much. Jonghyun ends up getting up from the chair for her to not try it again. “I’m not doing that. No way. It’s seriously part of the choreography?”

Hannah smiles at his reaction, her heart glowing at how the awkwardness seems a little gone. It’s really nothing special about the part he is freaking out about, but she is amused by his reaction and simply says it is the basic part.

“You’ll freak out over the clothes though,” Hannah giggles and hurries past him to get to her cell phone on the sofa. Jonghyun gives the chair a glare, which she sees as she has turned around with the phone in hand, and she laughs at him.

“Your fans will freak out over this whole comeback,” Jonghyun mentions when walking up to her to see the pictures she is about to show him. He can not understand how simply Hannah put her leg over the backrest, but neither does he know how much the ladies have been stretching to be able to do it. Hannah shows him a picture the ladies had taken during the clothes-fitting; Hannah and Maria standing in the corset dresses. “HOLY !”

He grabs the phone to look at it closer, gaping.

“What is that?!” he ends up asking.

He sounds the same way he looks, and Hannah just smiles. She hasn’t had anyone to show the clothes to, but she understands his reaction because that is what the ladies have been reacting to it too. She leans closer to look at the picture too. “Yong Hyun said some long detailed name to it, but we just call it Old World Charm Lace Corset Dress,” she answers and smiles wider, a little shyly too, when Jonghyun gives her a grimace. It’s natural, all of a sudden their history is forgotten and they are just … being themselves. She hasn’t felt this light in weeks.

“That’s the short name?” he jokes and Hannah giggles, putting a finger on the cell phone screen to change the picture. It is the y golden corset that Carolina had been staring at for so long when they were trying on the clothes, but in this picture it is Hannah wearing it – from shoulder to thigh the picture shows. “W-wow…”

Hannah nods, agreeing to his stuttering comment. “This one is for [POWER UP], the second song we are doing. It has more glitter on its clothes than for [Girls Power],” she tells him.

Jonghyun changes to the next picture by himself, this time getting impressed by a long fitting gown.

“Ah, that’s for the … photo book, I think.”

“It’s gorgeous,” Jonghyun whispers and goes back to the previous one, the gold one. “I like this one.”

She can’t help but to notice how focused he is on the clothes, he is even squint his eyes a bit. She looks at the picture he looks at, nodding. “Gold matches blondes,” Hannah tells him, “It fits Maria the most. All clothes fit her best. They said my body fits the concept best though, as if I fill out for the curves…” She stops talking when Jonghyun lifts his head to look at her, and suddenly she realises that she is talking about her body figure to Jonghyun; not-her-boyfriend. He must see so clearly how she remembers the past weeks when she takes a step back. “Sorry.”

Hannah takes back her cell phone to put it away, closing her eyes angrily when turning away from him, telling herself in her head to not forget that they aren’t together and that she can’t talk about anything with him anymore because it is just weird.

“Could we talk?” Jonghyun asks her when she puts away the cell phone.

She turns around to look at him, seeing his face-expression and before knowing her body does differently from her mind by nodding. Yet she hurries her step to the chairs. “But I have to practice,” she says as an excuse, grabbing one chair with both hands to take it to the side. Her heart is suddenly beating so fast, a part of her wanting him to leave because if they talk she is terrified they will fight but another part wants him to stay, but she isn’t sure which one she wants the most.

Hannah takes a deep breath when putting away the chair, turning around to go get the other chair as she is supposed to practice [POWER UP], and she gives a glance at Jonghyun who is looking at her as if she is supposed to give up and agree with him, but she looks away to focus on the other chair – walk up to the chair, grab the chair, lift it to the side… – she really has no idea of what her mind is telling her to do. She can see her own hand reaching out for the chair, something telling her to turn around but just as her head starts turning she can see his hand stretching out, his whole arm. He grabs her wrist, and all Hannah can do is to curl her fingers by the touch, her eyes going up to his face but her own face disappears when he pulls her in for a hug, wrapping his arms around her with such weight that even if she would come to her senses she wouldn’t be able to move.

“Why does it have to be so hard to be with you?”

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Headline 12th: Emelia Updates Fans From The Practice-Room With 5 Pieces & Dancers

 

Headline 13th: Fans Spots Famous Choreographies In Emelia’s Practice-Room Picture, A Possible Comeback In The Making?

 

Headline 14th: Japanese School Community Thanks 5 Pieces For Facing Difficulties In Their Schools

Headline 14th: 5 Pieces Performs [Let’s Go!] And [When There Is No Tomorrow] On Music Station In Japan

 

Headline 15th: Maria & Julia Visits ToHeart (Key & Woohyun) & SNSD Backstage Of Music Core

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X.devonalias – dum dum dum~~