Kung Fu Garden Restaurant – 7:02 PM

Luhan and Baekhyun-ahem-Baekha were nervously waiting for Luhan’s parents to arrive. They were seated at the farthest and most discreet part of the restaurant since Luhan knew that this dinner would entail screaming, yelling, and possible fist-2-face action.

“Wow Luhan, not only are your parent’s crazy but they’re also tardy.” Baekhyun mumbled as he blew his fake bangs to the side of his face.

“Hey it’s not my fault! They said something about picking something up from the airport.” Luhan replied as he looked at his date from head to toe.

“What are you wearing?” Luhan chuckled; contemplating whether or not to comment on Baekhyun’s “unique” choice of fashion.

“Look, since Tao practically stole my dress, I had no other choice than to wear this pink fluffy piece of crap.” The shorter boy replied before glaring daggers at the elder who was lucky enough to be wearing a normal suit.

Luhan was seconds away from calling the waiter when he saw his parents come in the front door with creepy smirks on their faces and a woman who he’s never seen before trailing behind them.

“My darling Luhan!” His mothered yelled as he enveloped her son in a tight embrace. Luhan, however, did not reciprocate the hug as planted his hands firmly inside his pockets.  

“Hello Luhan, I see you’ve decided to join us tonight.” Mr. Xi said.

“Join us tonight? I was the one who freakin’ scheduled this dinner in the first place… ing cheap bastards.”

“Mom, Dad, who is this?” Luhan asked dryly before he pointed at the tall creature standing behind them. She had long brown hair; slender legs, a lithe waist and a chest that would make every single hormonal heteroual male in this room’s mouth water.

“Don’t be rude Luhan; this is Victoria, your Fiancé.” His mother explained as she gestured Victoria to take a seat beside her son.

“And who is this?” Mr. Xi asked as he looked questionably at the small brunette “girl” Luhan had around his arm.

“Oh this y beast?! This is Baekha! She’s my girlfriend.” Luhan introduced as he tightened his grasp around Baekhyun’s shoulder.

“Hello Mr. and Mrs. Xi, I’ve heard such… i-interesting things about the two of you.”

“I wish I could say the same about you however up ‘til now I presumed Luhan was still taking it up the !” Mrs. Xi laughed as Luhan gripped the tablecloth underneath the table.

“Is this true? Are you finally done with that abnormal lifestyle?” His father seriously asked.

Luhan bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from saying anything that would ruin his plan. “Y-Yes, It’s true…”

Mrs. Xi hurrahed as she ordered the waiter to bring them the best champagne they had; saying that they needed to celebrate this tremendous milestone in their son’s life.

If words could cut, Luhan wounds would have killed him by now.

“Wait, what about me?” Victoria asked. She was after all supposed to be Luhan’s fiancé.

Luhan smirked. “Um…Victoria-shi, didn’t you find it odd that my parents wanted you to be my wife? Didn’t they tell you I was gay?”

It took more than a couple of seconds for Victoria to answer. “Not really… They said that I could sleep outside of the marriage and that you could take me shopping!” she clasped her hands in excitement.

Baekhyun almost choked from the water he was drinking, he just realized that some hoes really were just stupid.

“Luhan, stop interrogating your fiancé!” His mother scolded as she brushed Victoria's hair from the back.

“Technically, she’s not my fiancée anymore, Baekha is!” Luhan informed before grabbing Baekhyun face and smacking his lips against the younger’s.

-----

Kung Fu Garden Bathroom – 6:50 PM

“Can you tell me again why we’re hiding in the bathroom?” Tao asked in annoyance. He, Kris, and Sehun were huddled in the bathroom of the restaurant, Tao just patiently waiting for right moment to suggest a .

Kris sighed “We’re here because there is nowhere else to hide. I tried asking the manager if we could hide in their staff room but he nearly threw me out of the restaurant.”

Tao rolled his eyes. “Fine, whatever, but all I know is that this night could have ended a long time ago if you guys just let me bring my gun.”

Sehun stood quietly behind the two bickering “adults” (if you can even call them that) as he daydreamed about the things that transpired just a few hours ago.

“He likes me…”

“But…now what?”

“Are we together?”

“I’m so confused… Maybe I should ask Kris for advice…”

“Kris Hyung?”

Kris turned his attention to the younger; who looked like he had a lot of things on his mind.

“What’s up Sehun?” Kris asked as he motioned the blonde boy to come closer.

“It’s about Luhan Hyung…”

Kris raised his eyebrow “What about him? Are you guys fighting?”

Sehun shook his head “No, no, it’s just… we… kissed.”

…

“Congratulations!” Tao exclaimed before he hugged the younger while he wiped away the imaginary tears. 

Kris sighed. “Sehun, you’re only eighteen.”

Sehun flinched from the elder’s icy tone; Kris was usually never this cold. In fact, he was sure the elder was the gayest amongst all of Luhan’s friends.

“Oh shut up Kris, your roommate Chanyeol practically told me that was flying everywhere when the two of you had that one night stand.” Tao smirked as the elder’s face turned a bright shade of red.

“Oh and if my memory serves me right… Chanyeol turned nineteen last month, meaning that the two of you had when he was still eighteen; you dirty .” Tao chuckled as he sees the blonde man’s cheeks flame up.

“Hey! That wasn’t my fault! Chanyeol had graduated high school by the time we slept together! I just think Sehun’s too young to be doing anything… like that.” Kris explained as he rolled up his sleeves to cool himself down a bit.

Sehun’s face immediately turned sour from just the thought of him and Luhan having . He was definitely not ready for anything like that just yet.

“I’m not ready to have s-…” Sehun swallowed.

“Oh… than just… when you do… use a ?” Kris suggested before Tao lightly punched him in the shoulder.

“Kris, you’re not helping at all" Tao sighed.

“Sehun, if you and Luhan are together than be happy. Don’t let prude -faced giants get in your way.”

“What did you call me?” Kris fumed.

“Nothing… however you just admitted to being a prude -faced giant.” Tao laughed as he watched the elder childishly stomp his feet on the ground like a four year-old.

“This was no help at all…”  

-----

Later That Night - 7:23 PM

“Is it okay if we eat here Kyungsoo-shi?” Kai nervously asked his date who was more than happy to eat at one of the fanciest restaurants in Seoul.

Kyungsoo nodded “this place is fine Kai, and please drop the ‘shi’. We’re on a date, just call me Kyungsoo.”

Kai smiled as he opened the door for his date. “You first Kyungsoo-ah, you go find us a table. I just need to use the restroom.”

Kyungsoo nodded as he watched his date disappear into the back of the restaurant.

Kai pushed the bathroom door open when he was greeted by three of the most awkward men in the history of Korea, two of the three whom he knew personally, which automatically made him the fourth most awkward man in Korea.

“Tao? Sehun?” Kai asked out loud.

“Kai?” Sehun replied; stunned as the other boy stared intently at the three of them.

“Kkamjong!” Tao grinned.

“What are you guys doing here?” Kai asked.

“The three of us are hiding in the bathroom as backup for our friend Luhan who’s being forced to marry a woman named Victoria that his parents are trying to force down his throat and, oh, did I tell you he’s gay? So this guy Baekhyun agreed to dress up as a girl and pretend to be Luhan’s fiancé for tonight so that his parents can leave him alone and Kris doesn’t have to lose his job and Luhan won’t have to go back to China!” Tao thoroughly explained leaving Kai speechless.

“Well… that sounds… very you.” Kai replied as he eyed the tall blonde man standing behind his brother.

“Who is he?”

“This is Sehun, Luhan’s son or boyfriend, no one is 100% sure yet what they are right now but either way someone is ually frustrated.”

“I know who Sehun is!” Kai facepalmed as Sehun let out a small giggle.

“Oh!!! You mean this giant?” Tao clarified as he poked Kris in the cheek. “This is Kris, aka Luhan’s best friend. He’s here to make sure nothing bad happens to him and to keep me ually satisfied."

Kai scrunched up his nose. “Eww… congrats?”

Tao tipped his imaginary hat “Thank you very much my dearest brother.”

Sehun's eyes widened “Brother? The two of you are brothers?”

Tao nodded “Yup, My parents adopted Kai a couple of years ago and ever since we’ve been as tight as Kris’ . But, wait a minute, how do the two of you know each other?”

Kai sheepishly scratched the back of his neck, ignoring Tao’s bluntness which he seemed used to by now.  “Sehun and I used to date.”

Tao formed a letter ‘o’ with his mouth when he understood why Sehun was so flushed when Kai entered the bathroom.

“So… you and Luhan are dating now?” Kai asked; trying to strike up a conversation with his past flame.

“To be honest, I’m not quite sure what we are right now.” Sehun replied, his smile faltering from the honesty of his words.

Kai gave Sehun a pat on the back “I know you Sehun; people are either crazy or stupid to not fall in love with you.”

“awwwwwww…” Tao and Kris cooed in the background while Kai stuck out his tongue.

“Thanks Jongin… um… you never really told us why you were here either.” Sehun observed as taint of pink spread across the dancer’s face.

“I’m actually on a date…” Kai replied.

“What? Date? Who is this that’s after dad’s money?” Tao interrogated as Kai pinched the bridge of his nose.

“His name is Do Kyungsoo and he works as a pastry chef at Sehun’s boyfriend’s friend’s café.” Kai explained before he realized that he’s been in the bathroom for almost ten minutes.

“Crap! I gotta go! Good luck Sehun-ah and it was nice meeting you Kris.” Kai bidded goobye before leaving the bathroom.

“HEY! WHAT ABOUT YOUR BROTHER?!” Tao yelled before the bathroom door fully closed with a click.

Tao was about to grumble or finally suggest that he’s been pondering about when the bathroom door slammed open revealing a very frantic looking Luhan.

“We need to leave NOW!” He yelled as he motioned the three other boys to exit their humble abode.

“Why? What happened?” Kris asked.

“Long story short, they know Baekha has a and that Baekhyun may or may not have gotten into a catfight in the women’s bathroom with Victoria.”

“Damn, nothing interesting ever happens in the men’s room!” Tao pouted as Kris dragged the panda boy to the parking lot.

“Where’s Baekhyun Hyung?” Sehun asked.

Luhan looked around to find his fiancé when he saw Baekhyun running out of the restaurant, his skit ripped at the hem as he was holding his wig in the palm of his right hand. He ran out of the restaurant barefoot with an angry looking Victoria chasing after him.

“START THE ENGINE!” Baekhyun yelled as he ran for his life.

The four other boys hastily entered the vehicle as Kris started the car; they buckled their seatbelts while Sehun held the door open for Baekhyun to enter quickly so that they could make a quick getaway.

Baekhyun practically dove into the backseat before screaming at Kris to “DRIVE DRIVE!”

“What the hell happened in the bathroom Baekhyun?!” Luhan growled whilst he turned around to gape at the disheveled transvestite from the front seat.

“I’m not so sure, it all happened so fast… but all I know is that you won’t have to worry about her wanting to marry you any time soon.”

[a/n] Please help by clicking this! Thank you ^^ and Don't Forget to Subscribe and Comment! :)

Please forgive me if this chapter because guess what?! I totally out my english! It's like I forgot how to properly speak my language! /sigh/ forgive me. This story has become a little bit crack filled so the next couple chaps will be more romantic. this was just to end the drama (though I highly doubt Luhan's parents will disappear forever.)

Thank you to everyone who subscribed since my last update. I finally finished my sub-project "22 Anecdotes By EXO" which got over 100 up votes! I'm so happy :) Thanks to everyone who subscribed to that fic, it meant a lot. I'm sappy aren't I?

I also wrote a Taohun one-shot with which you can read here.

In other news, OMG did anyone else see the shirtless pics of Lay in the growl repackaged album booklet?! /FAINTS/ it's my profile pic if you guys want to check it out. and ZOMG the Growl dance pratice videos. 1. Minseok is so skinny that he's probably the smallest member of EXO (Body mass wise). 2. Chanyeol should not wear sleeveless because I nearly fainted 3.) Kai is adorbs at the end and Y CAMERA MAN! I CANT! XD Side not: Baekhyun is getting buffer and I don't really like it. I like his What Is Love body, his small frame which fits perfectly in Chanyeol's arms. X3

This is Baekhyun's y back yum! and ths is the pink dress he had to wear for the dinner lmao. X3 I'm sorry if I make Baek sound so pathetic but Trust when I say Chanyeol will be his knight in shining armor.