*banner by nabi_chi

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I grabbed the table cloth and wiped my face. I looked up and saw the horrified faces of Sandara Park’s parents. Who wouldn’t be horrified with my announcement? Sandara Park’s a girl, she shouldn’t be the one MOLESTING guys. Wait, let me rephrase that.  She shouldn’t be the molesting ME. How can she endure molesting other guys when I’m everything she could think of? I’m pretty sure she has a Kwon Jiyong Shrine somewhere in this house.

 

Silence stretched on. I suddenly feared for my dignity. What if. . . .? What if they won’t allow Sandara Park to marry yet? Oh no! What will happen to me then?!?! I’ll be the laughingstock of the town! They’ll mock me endlessly. OH MAI GAWD!

 

Just as I thought the silence was too much already, the three of them suddenly burst out laughing, almost knocking me off my chair. I swear, I felt he ground moved from the loud volume of their laughter.

 

Eh? What are they laughing at?! And why are they all pointing a finger at me? Are they. . . like seriously, are they laughing at ME?!? I grimaced as they started pounding their hands on the table. Jeez, no wonder Sandara Park’s not aware of the word POISE. Her parents are obviously not aware of the word either.

 

Yikes! It’s like I’m in a jungle full of monkeys! And eww, I just need a shampoo and soap then I’m already done showering.

 

“HAHAHAHAHAHA……!!!!!”

 

“BWAHAHAHAHAHA. . . . .!!!!”

 

“HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI!!!!!”

 

“NYAHAHAHAHAHAHA. . . . . . . !!!!!!” they chorused. Yeah, now they just transformed into a trio of laughing monkeys.

 

I don’t know how long they’ve been laughing their heads off but they’re seriously getting on my nerves – all three of them. My patience isn’t really that long anymore. Gawd! I can’t believe this is happening to me. If only I’m not so. . . HANDSOME to Sandara Park, I wouldn’t be involved in this. Though I must say once again that I can’t really blame the girl for going gaga over me, but it would have been better if she was at least. . . DISCREET about it. I won’t forbid her to stare and drool over me if only she’s not too FAR-FETCHED with her obsession.

 

“Your friend’s really finny!”

 

“Yeah, he is” Sandara Park agreed, still laughing. “Aigoo, Jiyong!”

 

“This isn’t a laughing matter” I stiffly said.

 

They laughed louder. Gah!

 

“What made you think our daughter would. . . .?” Mr. Park laughed so hard he wasn’t able to finish his question. “What made you think she’ll steal your fist kiss and your ity when she was so uptight with Nickhun?”

 

I now know that the Parks are the weirdest family EVER! At first, they went silent with my announcement then out of nowhere, they started laughing their heads off. And now, they’re all silent again. I looked at them one by one. My super stalker’s parents were exchanging looks I can’t describe while Sandara Park had her head bowed. Err, okay. What just happened?

 

“I’m sorry” Mr. Park said. “I forgot we have a don’t-mention-Nickhun rule”

 

“It doesn’t really matter” Sandara Park answered a bit stiffly. I frowned at the tone of her voice. There’s something disturbing in it. I just can’t point it out, though. She sounded so much like yesterday at the rooftop – when that frog-looking guy supposedly broke up with her. Jeez, doesn’t she get tired of acting every second of her life? I wonder how long will she be able to keep up with her pretenses. It would wear of someday, right?

 

“Dara, your-”

 

“It’s okay, Mom” Sandara Park cut off. Then, she turned to me. She smiled but somehow, it didn’t feel right. Gawd, what’s going on with me? Gah! I think I’m losing my mind too! Mental illness is contagious! Then I noticed that she’s STARING at me for a while now.

 

“Ya!” I warned her, hugging myself tightly. “What are you staring at?!”

 

She laughed this time. “Nothing happened between is, okay? I don’t know where’d you get that idea but we didn’t even sleep in one bed last night”

 

My eyes narrowed. Why do I find that hard to believe? “But you changed my clothes!” I accusingly told her. “You saw my. . . gah!”

 

“I did change your clothes but I didn’t touch your underwear so you’re all safe”

 

I don’t want to believe her. She looked and sounded suspicious. “Are you sure?”

 

She rolled her eyes. “Of course I am”

 

“And are you sure you didn’t. . . do anything bad to me while I was still asleep? Nothing really happened?”

 

“NOTHING”

 

“Are you telling the truth?”

 

“Why would I lie to you?” she asked back.

 

I kept my mouth shut. Okay, I have to think about this. Why would she lie about it? What could be her reason for denying her crime? Oh wait, that’s it! I can sue her! She me so I can sue her but. . . isn’t she supposed to be my SUPER STALKER?!? She could blackmail me into marrying her but she’s doing quite the contrary! She’s letting me off the hook? And of course, if I sue her, the people would then know what happened! No! That can’t be! My reputation is on the line here! So why? Gawd, what of brain does she have?  It’s obviously not functioning. Tsk, another nig NO-NO for me. I need a girl who can rival my intelligence.

 

Gah! But this isn’t right! I’m not saying I want to marry her, okay? But I just can’t wrap my little finger around the fact that she’s letting me off the hook. If she really wanted to keep me as her prisoner, she’s say something happened between us and since I’m a very honorable man, of course I can’t let her tarnish my most treasured dignity. But here she is, telling me that nothing happened and she doesn’t have to take responsibility for what she did.

 

“But. . . err. . . .” I cleared my throat. “I think you forgot one tiny detail” I told her.

 

“What?” she asked, frowning.

 

“Err. . .” I hesitated. “Aren’t you supposed to be my SUPER STALKER? Shouldn’t you be blackmailing me to marry you?”

 

-  - - -

 

I’ve never felt so humiliated in my life before. NEVER! Gah! I swear on my handsome face that I will NEVER step anywhere near the Parks residence and the family itself! N-E-V-E-R!          Yes, I will never do that! How dare them laugh at me like I’m a crazy person? How dare them mock me, insult me and shoved to my face that I got it all wrong? How dare them ask me to look in the mirror first? HOW DARE THEM?!?

 

Okay, I’m ranting.

 

Yeah, Sandara Park isn’t my SUPER STALKER. She isn’t even my STALKER. Well, that’s what THEY pretty much pointed out to me a while ago while shaking their heads off and laughing. But I can’t bring myself to believe that she doesn’t have a crush on me. If she’s not a super stalker or a stalker, then she’s just been demoted to being my ADMIRER. Oh yes, she is. I’ve SEEN it in her face and eyes, I’ve HEARD it in her voice, FELT it from her touch (gah, up until now, I shudder from fear and sigust just by the thought of that girl touching me with malice). Also, her parents pretty much told me that her relationship with that frog-looking guy was REAL. If that’s what they wanted me to believe, fine! But I will never accept what they sai about (what was his name again? Err, was it Mikmun?) that Mikmun guy and me. I say, WHAT THE HELL’S WRONG WITH THEIR EYES?!? Duh? How dare them compare my looks to that of. . . I can’t even find a better adjective to describe him. The frog-looking thing’s not really appropriate for him. He’s much worst than that.

 

I sighed. I don’t really know what’s going inside Sandara Park’s mind for denying about the stalker thing. But I still need to keep a watchful eye on her. Humph. That’s right. I can’t let my guards down yet.

 

I grimaced as my stomach made a sound. Aigoo! With all the humiliation that I’d rather not recall from the Parks! I didn’t have a decent meal. I should eat first. Should I go straight home and cook or just dine out? I’m feeling a bit lazy to cook so I’ll just out. Where should I eat? Hmm, noodle shop? Fish? Steak? Chicken? Aigoo, what to eat, what to eat?

 

I decided to go for chicken. I whistled as I started heading towards the chicken restaurant. My mind was on and off in recalling what happened back at the Parks’ residence. Gah! Why can’t that memory just go away? I suddenly stopped in my tracks. Hold up. If that Sandara park’s really my admirer, then why did she let her parents humiliate me?! Moreover, why did she join them? She even laughed at me?

 

Aish! Why am I bothering myself with this? Of course it’s for revenge. I think she already gave up. I think she already accepted the fact that I can never love her back. I can’t even LIKE her back. Oh well, that’s life. I’ll just have to live with it. At least she already gave up.

 

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

 

I’m finally stalker free! And not just that, I’m finally Sandara Park free! Yay! I was so elated that I can’t help but share my happiness with everyone.

 

“WOOOHOOOO!” I exclaimed happily. “I’M FREE!”

 

I feel like doing some cartwheels, only, I can’t really do any stunts like that. Instead, I started running and jumping from happiness.

 

I was still in high spirits upon reaching the restaurant. I belatedly realized that running and jumping like that wasn’t the best thing to do when you’re hungry. Now, I just grew hungrier. Aigoo. I frantically went inside and found myself a spot near the glass window. I immediately called for the waiter. So, I went on telling the waiter my ORDERS. Yes, ORDERS. I’m just so hungry that I feel like I’m drooling like a hungry dog.

 

As soon as my orders arrived, I ravished them all. Gawd, I’m just so hungry and happy. Hahaha! There are so many things to celebrate. Being a stalker free is one. And I’m still a ! I’M STILL A !!! Nyahahaha.  That one right there makes me euphoric already, it makes me wanna throw confetti into the air. Gawd, can you believe that? I’M STILL A !

 

But my happy bubble popped when I remembered that the EX-STALKER of mine stole my first kiss. Jeez, what a lucky girl! I grimaced. Lucky for her, too bad for me. I closed my eyes from disgust and shuddered from shame. I can never take it back. Oh wait! I can PRETEND that never happened. I can PRETEND she never molested my lips. That’s right! But. . . gah! That still won’t change the fact that she’s my first kiss! I just hope she won’t brag it to anyone because I can never tell a soul about it. Why would I? That’s the DARKEST and FOULEST       thing that has ever happened. Aigoo! It looks like I have to talk Sandara Park and tell her not to brag about that kiss to others. I’m pretty sure she enjoyed it BIG TIME, but the thing was, I didn’t enjoy any of it. None at all!

 

Oh well, I’ll just deal with that when I see her at school. For now, I’ll enjoy these delicious treats in front of me first. As I was enjoying my meal, two familiar people happened to catch my eyes. I stared blankly at Victoria as she was smiling up at the frog-looking guy Mikmun while holding each other’s hands. Wait-

 

Eh?

 

WHAT?!?

 

WHY ARE THEY TOGETHER?!

 

WHY ARE THEY SMILING AT EACH OTHER LIKE THAT?!

 

WHAT’S GOING ON?!?

 

No, wait. I should calm down first. Okay Jiyong, breathe in then breathe out. Yes, just calm – WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I CAN’T CALM DOWN! I NEED TO KNOW WHY THEY’RE TOGETHER!!! I quickly stood up and started heading towards the exit to confront them but I was stopped.

 

“Excuse me, sir, you can’t leave without paying for your meal”

 

I sighed. Jeez, do I look like someone who’s not going to pay for my meal? Do I look incapable to produce cash? Gawd, this guy obviously doesn’t know who I am. Poor fellow. He’s missing his entire life for not knowing who Kwon Jiyong is. Oh well, it’s his loss, not mine. “Just wrap my meal. I’ll eat it back at my place” I told him and went to get my wallet from my pocket.

 

I paused.

 

OH MY GAWD!

 

I forgot Sandara Park changed my clothes. And my wallet’s on the pocket of my – oh my gawd! I don’t have my wallet with me! I don’t have my mobile phone either! What should I do, what should I do?!

 

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

OMONA!!!!

 

They’re going to put me to jail!

 

I’ll be imprisoned! I can no longer reach my dreams, achieve my goals, live my life and literally do nothing! Huhuhu. . . . why is this happening to me? What have I done wrong? Why should I suffer like this? Oh my gawd! Please don’t do this to me. . . . .!! I’m too handsome and great to be kept in jail! I grew more horrified remembering the movies I’ve seen set in jails and the prisoners being abused by fellow prisoners. Oh my gawd!

 

NOOOOOO!!!!

 

I’d gladly take Sandara Park than that!

 

Out of desperation, I went down on my knees and hugged the legs of the person and begged him to have mercy on me. When the manager came in, I went to hug his knees and begged to have mercy and that I’ll do the dishes instead. Gah! I don’t know how much humiliation I could get in just a day! Oh, make that two! But how am I going to get out of this situation? Where’s my guardian angel?

 

“Mister Manager, please don’t send me to jail” I pleaded. “I don’t belong there! I’ll do anything! You can take me as the restaurant’s endorser, free of charge! I guarantee it, if I become the endorser slash model of this restaurant, it’ll be a big hit! You’ll be well-known worldwide! Even Hollywood celebrities would go here. I’m willing to do that with no talent fee at all! You don’t know how marketable I am! Just accept this once in a lifetime opportunity and honor. PLEASE!”

 

“What’s going on here?” a male voice came from behind me.

 

I glanced behind me and saw Mikmun and – whoa! My Victoria’s here! Ghad, I can’t let her see me in my most humiliating situation ever! What is she doing here, anyways?

 

“Sir Nickhun” the manager bowed. “This guy refuses to pay for his-”

 

“I did not refuse! I just don’t have my wallet! It’s in the pocket of my school uniform but Sandara Park changed my clothes last night and. . . .” I explained and went on recounting what happened – from the time I accompanied Sandara Park to drink, her crying and all, vomiting on me and the moment I woke up.

 

“I thought Sandara doesn’t drink?”

 

“She was depressed and all but I bet she was acting to get my attention” I said.

 

The frog-looking guy looked at me with narrowed eyes. What’s his name again? Oh, it’s Mikmun. Omo! Why is he looking at me like that? Omo, omo, omo, omo. Omona! Is he going. . . gay over me? Kya!

 

“What are you looking at?” I asked. Omo, I think I’m seeing some envy in his eyes. Tsk, yes, I can feel that he’s being swallowed by insecurities right now.

 

“Are you Dara’s new boyfriend?” Victoria asked me.

 

UWAAAAA!

 

Victoria talked to me! Omo, omo, omo! My hearts’ going wild in my chest! Victoria, my Victoria talked to me. Oh my gawd! I can’t believe this. I can die from happiness right now.

 

Kyaa!

 

I think I’m going to faint, someone catch me please!

 

“Err, so are you?”

 

“H-ha?”

 

“He’s not Dara’s type” Mikmun said. I had this weird feeling that I got his name all wrong. They guy then turned to the manager. “His bill’s on me”

 

“Yes Sir” the manager said. “Your father called by the way. He’s looking for you”

 

“I’ll talk to him later” Mikmun said. “Come on, babe”

 

Babe?

 

BABE?!?!

 

Who’s he calling babe? He’s not referring to. . . . my eyes grew wide as Victoria and Mikmun went away to settle themselves in one table. No, this isn’t happening! This. . . why? Why him? He’s. . . . he’s. . . . . . Noooooooooooo!

 

They can’t be TOGETHER, can they?- . . . .?"