A Weird Dream To Realization
Crazy Little Thoughts
Clt c23- a weird dream to realization
“Huh!” she snorted. “We’re not even in a real relationship.”
“Shh,” I shushed her and gave her another peck on the lips.
“You're abusing my lips! Bestfriends aren’t supposed to kiss often, especially on the lips!”
“We're an exception, then.”
“Ya!”
“If I didn’t know better, you've been having a lot of fantasies about me lately.”
“Why you-!”
The words were cut off with a peck.
“YA!”
“You're blushing!”
“I'm not!”
“You are so blushing, Sandara Park!” I laughed. “Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!” I crooned and pinched her chubby cheeks.
She mumbled something incoherently and buried her face in my chest. I chuckled and patted her head as my other arm tightened around her. We fell into a comfortable silence. I can tell she’s not asleep yet as she was fiddling her fingers on the front of my shirt. I feel. . . comfortable this way with her and I can’t help but smile at how I behaved towards her before. She’s just so small that she fit my arms perfectly, like it’s the place where she belongs – my arms. I scoffed at where my thoughts were going. Of course that’s not true. She belonged to that frog-looking guy. As much as I find her taste weird, if the frog will make her happy, then I’ll support her. That’s what bestfriends do, right? Support each other?
“Jiyong?” she murmured.
“Hmm?”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For agreeing to my weird plan,” she said, chuckling lightly. “I’m glad you’re here with me right now.”
I feel the same, I wanted to say. But different words came out from my mouth. “Huh! You should’ve known better than that, Sandara Park. Everyone is craving for my company.”
“Conceited,” she chuckled.
“Girls crave for my company, Sandara Park so you should really be grateful because I accepted your plea to become your bestfriend. Come to think of it, I think you’re the very first girl I felt comfortable with being this close. Huh, if I’m only that head over heels in love with Vicky, I would have probably fallen for you and that would be tough luck wouldn’t it because you’re in love with that frog.”
I waited for any response from her but she remained silent so I pulled away a little and looked at her face. She was fast asleep. A smile curved my lips. She looked like a baby angel – how cute.
I brushed off some strands that fell to her face. Dara, I thought. I smiled. I’ve just noticed recently that when I call her by her full name, she would always pout. Out of nowhere and without warning, her eyes suddenly blinked open. I blinked at her, surprised.
A frown marred her forehead then she smiled. “I like that smile,” she said. “It’s my favorite out of all the smiles you have.”
“Eh?”
She nodded. “I call it curly lip smile,” she said. “I like the way the corner of your lips curl up for a smile with your mouth closed, it’s so cute. I mean, your large teeth are quite distracting, you know,” she said, laughing.
I narrowed my eyes at her.
“Aigoo!” she exclaimed and traced the corner of my lips with her index finger. She sighed. “I don’t want other people to see your curly lip smile.”
“Eh?” I ushered. “You’re selfish!”
“It’s weird, isn’t it?” she whispered, her index finger still tracing the corners of my lips. Then, it went in the middle. I had the weird urge to open my mouth and nip her finger with my teeth. The urge was so strong that I wasn’t able to stop myself from doing it. I slightly parted my lips and nipped her finger gently, making her gasp. I looked at her and she was staring back at me with her eyes wide opened.
I wanted to kiss her!
The realization made me dizzy.
HOMHAYGAWD!!!!!
Why would I want to kiss her? I mean, okay, she’s pretty and all, yes but my Vicky is still of course the best looking girl I’ve ever set eyes on in the whole wide world! And not just that, Sandara Park is supposed to be my bestfriend, right? I mean, I don’t really consider her the best, best, best, bestest bestfriend but still. . . .
What is going on in here?
While I was asking those questions to myself, it’s as if there’s a different part in my mind that’s chanting the words, I want to kiss her, I want to kiss her, I want to kiss her over and over again.
HOMHAYGAWD! How can this be?!? Ah, my mind must be playing at me, neh? Or it could be the atmosphere or maybe I’ve grown to doing it – no!
She cleared , bringing me out of my reverie. She pulled her finger back and looked away. “I want to sleep,” she then said and turned the other way. I opened my mouth, wanting to say something but no words came out, even my superb mind went blank. What am I supposed to say? Oh right, I wanted to ask her why she turned away. But I realized that must be awkward. And why am I feeling awkward again?
Ugh! Aigoo, this is giving me a headache!
“Good night, Jiyong.”
I paused and stared at the back of her head. Why is my heart beating so fast? Omo! I think I’m having a heart disease! Kyak! I should go to the doctor and have myself checked! Yes, that’s what I should do! With a satisfied smile on face, I moved closer to her and brought one arm around her. “Night,” I said.
There was a mirror not too far from me. I smiled and was about to make my way there when I saw someone else beat me to it. I paused in my tracks upon seeing that the person was. . . me – the present Kwon Jiyong with the blonde hair and a goofy almost crazy smile on his face. I watched as the other Jiyong made some crazy poses in front of the mirror.
Jeez, I really am a good looking person! Hahahahaha!
Then, the other Jiyong bent down and fixed his shoelaces. I watched him do it but then, it’s as if something was pulling my eyes back to the mirror. And I gasped in surprise upon seeing another reflection there. The third person had a black hair, his face was thin and pale. His eyes were wide opened in fear and there were tracks of blood flowing from his eyes and ears. Not just that, it’s as if his skin was made of glass and there were cracks in them. I started to tremble inside. That person. . . that person looked exactly like me as well!
No, he doesn’t just look like me. He is me.
The blonde Jiyong straightened up again, still wearing that stupid grin on his face. I took a step forward when the broken Jiyong hugged the blonde Jiyong. The moment that happened, the smile on the blonde Jiyong disappeared and it’s as if he suddenly transformed into a different person. My head started spinning. The mirror broke into pieces and fell to the floor. It suddenly went dark and that voice entered my ears again, screaming for me to run. I hate darkness, I hate alleys, I hate being kept locked in a dark place, I hate dark tunnels with spiders and rats crawling here and there. I hate. . . .
I feel like my head was going to explode. As I fell to my knees, trembling so hard a blink of light suddenly appeared. It made me pause. The source of light just blinked and blinked and blinked. I started following it, fascinated with it. I’ve never seen any firefly blink this bright. . .
“Hey. . . . Jiyong. . . hey. . .”
Something was tapping my cheek, something soft and smooth, something. . . comforting. I blinked my eyes open and for a moment, I thought I’m seeing the light coming from the huge firefly in my dream. But when my vision cleared, I realized it was Sandara Park, wearing a worried look.
“Were you having a bad dream?” she asked. “You’re trembling and panting woke me up. Are you alright?”
I wanted to answer but I just can’t find my voice, it’s as if it’s trapped inside my throat. But her worried look was bothering me as well. I don’t want her to be worried about me but I also needed someone to comfort me. So without saying a word, I pulled her to me and hugged her tight.
“Hey, you’re trembling so much!” she exclaimed in surprise. “Are you alright? Do you need - ?”
“No. . .” I croaked, finally finding my voice. “I just. . . I just need you here with me right now and I’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.”
She didn’t say anything. She just hugged me back and rubbed her hand up and down on my back. Later on, she started caressing my hair as well. She would kiss my hair or forehead once in a while. And I shut my eyes tightly. It was comforting. She is comforting.
I may have thought that Sandara Park was my stalker before – and I may be crazy for misinterpreting things but I’m happy that she is Sandara Park. And even before I knew it, I drifted back to dreamland and started dreaming of a stalker Sandara Park.
I knew the sun was high up in the sky but I didn’t open my eyes. I stayed lying for a while, remembering what happened a few hours back. That dream – that weird dream about myself. What did that mean? But it’s making me think of things now. Sandara Park mentioned that it seemed that I have two personalities. Some of the students I’m with right now also told me that they originally thought I was a nutter. And I remember that one time. . . that one time when Sandara Park asked me about my parents. I remembered how my head ached trying to get some buried memories in my head about them and I remembered that nothing came up.
Why is that? Surely, I do have parents, right? I mean, I didn’t just popped up into the world fully grown into a very handsome, y and talented person that I am today, right? Why haven’t I thought of that before? How come I haven’t realized things like these before?
No, I don’t know the answer. I don’t even remember how survive living all these years, alone – with my uncle just sending financial support and checking me once in a while, reminding me to take my medicines which I haven’t taken since I got involved with Sandara Park’s crazy plans and – my thoughts stopped. Come to think of it, I don’t even know what my medicines were for.
Eh?
I should ask my uncle about it. Yes, that’s right.
Aish, that Sandara Park is really a troublemaker. Now she’s making me think of things that I haven’t thought of before.
Ah, Sandara Park.
Sandara Park.
Sandara Park.
SANDARA PARK.
I reached out for her but then, I suddenly jumped to my feet upon realizing she wasn’t beside me anymore. I immediately ran out of the tent and saw the camp was all cleared but the other students’ things were still lying around.
They must have gone back to the riverside and took breakfast there. But I think it’s almost noon. So I took my usual morning rituals first before going after them. And it turned out I was right, they were alongside the river. I immediately searched for Sandara Park and saw her placing some kind of a meal in a container. I smiled and started walking towards her. She seemed too preoccupied to notice me, though. But my steps faltered when the bullfrog guy approached her.
“Hey,” I heard him greeted her from where I was standing. Sandara Park looked behind and gave Mikmun a smile.
“Hey,” she greeted back.
“You seemed busy,” he said.
She laughed. “Not really,” she said. “I’m just saving some food for Jiyong so he could eat up once he awakes.”
“You’ve mentioned he’s not feeling well, right?”
“Yes,” she nodded, her smile turning into a slight frown.
“Is that why you looked so sleepless? Were you taking care of him?” he asked. And I’m not sure if it was just me but I think I heard a tinge of jealousy and anger.
Sandara Park just smiled at him. “I think I should go and check him out,” she said. “See you later.”
She placed all the plastic containers containing different meals in a plastic bag. She waved once more to Mikmun before starting walking towards my direction. She had her head bowed but when she looked up, she stopped. A frown then marred her forehead upon seeing me.
I gave her a lopsided smile. Slowly, the frown was replaced with a smile. “Hey, I was about to check on you and bring you breakfast. . . are you feeling well now?”
“I am, now that I’ve seen your smile.”
She laughed. “Why you little handsome liar!”
“I’m not lying!”
“Really?” she beamed.
“Really,” I said.
“Good,” she nodded. “Now, you have to eat. Where do you want to eat? Here or back in the tent?”
“I prefer in the tent so I can have you all to myself.”
She laughed. “Gosh, I think I’m bringing out the worst of you!”
“But before we go,” I said. “There’s something I wanted to do first.
“What is that?” she asked in between laughs.
I glanced back to Mikmun first then grabbed, Dara’s wrist, pulled her to me and claimed her lips. I took the plastic bag from my hands and let her hand rest on my chest. After a while, she let her hand slip up to my nape and she was kissing me back.
At the back of my mind, someone was jumping up and down with glee.
“Let’s go out on a date,” I then said after breaking the kiss.
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