Over And Out
Crazy Little Thoughts
I wanted to go after her. I’ve never wanted anything or anyone in my life like this before. But I won’t do that. If I get the chance to talk to her, I might end up begging her to love me the way I love her. I don’t want to be a burden to her. This. . . this conversion disorder has its pros and cons. First, it’s just temporary so that would mean I’d still be able to see. Second, there’s no need to maintain medicines to cure it. But then, there’s no definite answer as to when my sight will be back.
What if it will take years? Will I really let her suffer with me? No, I don’t think so. “Let’s go back home,” I told Taeyeon. She didn’t say anything but I can feel her eyes on me. I know she wanted to say something and I already had the faintest idea of what it is. And so, I was grateful when she chose to just keep it to herself.
The way towards home was silent. I can sense she was in deep thoughts and I let her be.
“Jiyong?”
I stopped. I knew that voice. I’ve hoped and dreamt to hear that voice call my name. “Victoria,” I acknowledged eventhough I wasn’t really sure where she was. But based from the sound of the voice, she was approximately at a 45-degree angle to my right.
“Oh my gosh, it is you!” she exclaimed. The next thing I knew was her arms were wrapped around mine. “I’ve heard everything that has happened in the news! I’m so sorry. . .”
I tried to say something but I can’t seem to think of any words to say so I just let her hug me, wishing deep inside that it was Dara. I want it to be that clumsy firefly. But I can’t. . . I’d only live in sorrow if I try to be with her. I don’t think I can live without seeing her face when she’s just near me. I would always want to see her smile, her pout, her everything. It would be more painful not seeing how she glows everytime she’s smiling or that natural aura of her that can be compared that of an angel’s.
“Are you staying for good?” a new voice joined in, it was the bullfrog, I mean Mik – ehem, Nickhun.
I felt Victoria’s arms slipped off of me as I answered, “I don’t know yet. It depends. . .” I trailed, my fists forming a tight ball. For some reason, I want to punch the guy. Is he with Victoria now? Is that why Taeyeon said there was no ring in Dara’s finger. “You know, if I can see you, I would have punched you already.”
“Jiyong, about. . .” Victoria started but I stopped her by growling ferociously.
“I’m not talking to you, Victoria.”
“Don’t talk to my girlfriend, that way.”
“Huh!” I scoffed. “Girlfriend? WHAT ABOUT DARA THEN?!? Did you propose to her just to make Vicky jealous?”
“Jiyong, calm down,” Taeyeon said.
“CALM DOWN?!” I shouted. “HOW CAN I CALM DOWN WHEN MY FIREFLY IS PROBABLY CRYING RIGHT NOW BECAUSE OF THIS GOOD FOR NOTHING BULLFROG!”
There was silence. Okay, I think I’ve spoken too much.
“Erm. . .” Taeyeon hesitated. “We’d appreciate it if you speak in a language we all understand.”
“Jiyong, you got it all wrong,” the frog croaked. “Me and Dara. . . we will never work. When I’ve seen her with you, I admit I was jealous and I wanted her back. She seemed so different with you. But then, when I tried to get her back, it was already too late. She was already in love with you and I, on the other hand, although belatedly, realized that I was in love with Vicky. When you went missing, Vicky was being difficult so I took advantage of Dara’s distress by offering her help in exchange of her marrying me. But of course, it did not work. . .”
My heart started beating hard against my chest. This can’t be right. I don’t want to hear this. It would only weaken my resolve to stay away from her. “Taeyeon, bring me home.”
“Jiyong. . .” the frog said. “Dara is –”
“I don’t want to hear any of it!” I snapped. My head started spinning again and for a moment, I thought I saw a flash of light. But then again, when everything went dark, I knew I must have imagined it.
My mind was filled with confusing thoughts as I let Taeyeon lead me home. Upon arriving home, I immediately went to my room and asked Taeyeon to let me be.
“Jiyong, I think it’d be –”
“I want to be alone Taeyeon. I’m tired and I want to go to sleep, if you don’t mind.”
“Jiyong, what you have right now won’t last forever. It’s tempo –”
“I know it is temporary, Taeyeon. What if my vision will return when I’m old enough and ready to die? I can’t live that long being a burden to her. I can’t live that long with her just an arm’s length away not seeing her face. What I have is not normal. There’s something wrong with my mind, get that?”
“You know, right now, I’d really wish the girl’s in love with the guy you’re calling frog rather than you.”
“I wish that, too.”
Taeyeon sighed audibly. I then heard footsteps followed by the sound of the door closing. I took off the sunglasses I was wearing and placed it on the bedside table. I lied down and closed my eyes. My memory of Dara’s face was becoming blurry. I wonder if she still looked as perfect as before. I wonder if her smile would have that faint glow that makes her looked like a firefly.
I smiled faintly. Firefly, I gave her that nickname. She’s so small, so tiny but she glows like a beacon in the darkness. Sandara Park, what have you done to me?
Memories of our adventures before flashed before me like a film. I can’t help but smile and laugh at them. I remembered how I used to think Sandara Park was my stalker. It’s so funny, really! How could I even think Sandara Park was my stalker? Hahahahahaha!
Sandara Park. . . who did everything to try to win Nickhun back.
Sandara Park. . . the only person who did not cringe at the sight of me.
Sandara Park. . . the only person who didn’t care if everyone thinks I’m insane.
Sandara Park. . . the girl who’s not ashamed of being seen with me.
Sandara Park. . . the girl whose lips I’d never forget and would love to taste over and over again.
Sandara Park. . . the girl who laughs with my silliness.
Sandara Park. . . my firefly, the owner of my heart.
She was that and more. . .
I sighed. Sleepiness was starting to take over. Thinking of too many things makes me physically and mentally tired.
I woke up with butterfly kisses being showered to my face. I immediately sat up, making me dizzy that I lost my balance which caused me to land on my on the floor. “T-taeyeon!” I gasped. “What do you think are you doing?!” I asked in a scandalized manner. I can feel my chest heaving up and down as I stood up from the floor. Silence greeted me. I waited for her to answer but when nothing came, I sighed. I think I offended her. “Taeyeon, look I didn’t mean to offend you and I don’t have the intention to do so. But you know how I feel for Dara. I’m sorry, but I can never love anyone else the same way I love her. I do appreciate everything you’ve done for me but. . . I can’t imagine myself being with someone else. I know I can never be with Dara because of my condition but I’d rather grow old and alone than be with someone else.”
Still, silence greeted me.
I’m starting to have a weird feeling about this. My heart was pumping too hard against my chest and there’s just something in the air that smelled sweet.
“You. . . you’re not Taeyeon, are you?” I asked in a whisper, barely breathing.
“No. . .” an answer came a few seconds later.
“S-sandara Park. . .”
“Taeyeon already left.”
“L-left? What do you mean left? When is she coming back?”
“She’s not coming back,” she answered.
“H-ha? What. . . why? It’s. . . b-but. . . I’m. . .”
Silence and then, she started laughing. “Why are you so pale, hmm? Why do you even sound like I’m a or something?”
I cleared my throat. “W-well. . . I’m just s-surprised that you’re here. I mean. . .”
“Hmm?” she murmured and then I felt her presence getting nearer that it made start to step back. “Why are you stepping back?” she asked.
“I can feel you getting closer,” I blurted.
“Is there something wrong with me getting closer with you?”
“No. . .”
“Then why are you still retreating? Getting coward, tweety bird?”
“I don’t like the tone of your voice!” I blurted out carelessly again. I swallowed hard as I felt the hard and cold wall behind me. Aigoo, I’m trapped!
“Why?” she slowly asked. “What’s wrong with the tone of my voice?”
“Y-you. . . you sound like you’re. . . you’re up to something naughty!”
“Really?” she asked with a chuckle. “What kind of naughty thing do you think I have in mind?”
I balled my fists on my side as I felt her fresh breath against my lips. “You’re going to me, aren’t you?”
I felt her hands on my chest.
HOMHAAAAAAAAYYYGAAAAAAAAAWWWDDDDDDDDDDDDD!
I’m having goosebumps! Kyak!
“ is a strong word,” she said. “And it’s only being applied when the act is forced. Tell me, do I really have to force you?”
“I’m blind.”
“So?”
“So it’ll be !”
Her lips landed on my jaw, nipping. “Hmm…”
“Please. . .”
“Please what?” she asked.
“Please have mercy.”
She stopped what she was doing and I felt disappointment hit me at the back of my head. She laughed again. Oh dear, I love hearing that sound. No, I just don’t love it!
I LOVE IT TO THE BONES!
“Do you have any idea how much I want to beat the life out of you right now?” she whispered, a finger trailing from my ear down to my jaw. “I’ve been worried about you, you know. And I hate you for leaving me like that. But then again, I missed you more than I hate you.”
“Dara please. . .” I whimpered as her arms went around my neck and I felt her body against mine. “I-I’m not yet ready!”
“I should be the one saying that,” she said.
“I’m still a !” I confessed.
“Good,” she said. “I’ll be your first then.”
My eyes widened. Even though I can’t see her, I can just imagine the evil smirk on her face. HOMHAYGAWD! Where did my angel Dara go?
“I think we need to t-t-talk first,” I stuttered.
“Are you trying to distract me?” she asked. “It’s useless, you know.”
“Dara, you don’t understand!” I said a little desperately now. “I’m blind, I can’t see. I’m useless. I’ll only become a burden to you.”
“The more I have to you,” she answered.
I was stunned from what she said. “W-what?”
“I’m going to you then I’ll get pregnant and you’ll be left with no choice but to marry me because I’m carrying your child.”
I blinked. Although it was pretty useless, but it just became a habit. Omona, what happened to my firefly? She’s talking about me like it’s some sort of a well-thought plan! What happened to my angel Dara? What happened?!?
“You can’t do that!”
“Why not? You really can’t run away right now, can you? You’ll only stumble along the way and I’ll pull you back to the bed.”
OH MY GOD!
“I-I’m not yet ready, I’m still a !” I squeaked.
She laughed. “You sound like a girl, Jiyong.”
“I’m telling the truth, I’m still a ! I’ll only give my ity away after matrimony!”
“Oh well, I’m afraid we have to do those things in different order.”
I shook my head. “I’ll scream !”
“Go ahead,” she encouraged and started kissing my jaw. “That’s exactly what I’m trying to aim for – to hear you scream.”
“Uwaaaaaaaaaa!” I started screaming only to be cut off by Dara’s lips. my eyes widened as I felt her slip her tongue inside my mouth.
OMONA! I CAN FEEL IT! I’M GOING TO LOSE MY ITY TO THIS GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Something was desperate in the way she kissed me. It was then that I realized, Sandara Park did miss me. So I wrapped my arms around and pulled her close to me. Why am I whining? This is the girl I love. I should be grateful that she’s still here with me even if I am currently disabled.
A few hours later, I lay on the bed panting. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that I’m no longer a . Oh my God! I can just feel fumes of smoke coming out from my nose and ears from embarrassment. Dara’s body was surprisingly tangled with mine. I seriously love the way her skin felt against mine or the way I feel so blissfully at peace right now.
“I love you too, you know,” she whispered.
Then, we talked. We talked about everything that has happened when we were away from each other.
We hugged, we kissed, we laughed and we exchanged words of love.
Dara then went to the comfort room as she said she needed to pee. I smiled to myself as I wait for her to comeback. With a sigh, I sat up and blinked at the darkness stretched out in front of me. I then heard a door opening and closing. It must be the bathroom door.
I blinked.
And then I blinked again.
“Dara, stay there,” I said.
“Huh?” I heard her asked in confusion.
I blinked at the smoothness of something pearly in a V-shape that was cradled between two creamy thighs.
Oh my God!
HOMHAYGHAWD!
This can’t be true!
I can’t believe this!
Out of all the things. . .
“Jiyong, is there something wrong?” Dara asked.
“N-nothing,” I trembled from excitement. I kept my eyes on that V-shape in front of me. “Stay there,” I ordered Dara again as she started taking a step.
“Jiyong, I’m getting nervous here.”
I shook my head, keeping my eyes on that body part of hers. “I think I taw putty tat.”
“W-what?”
I slowly looked up. “I said I think I saw cat,” I grinned at her. The happiness inside my chest was starting to overflow.
She blinked at me in all her ness. My God, she’s so beautiful, so purrfect! She stared at me with a frown and then she gasped, her eyes widening as she realized what’s going on. in an instant, she covered herself with her arms.
“KWON JIYONG!” she shrieked. “YOU EEEEEEEEERRRRTTTTTTT! OUT OF ALL THE THINGS TO LOOK AT WHEN YOUR VISION’S BACK, YOU. . . . . ARGH!!!”
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A/N:
Uwaaaaaaaaa!
I've finally finished this one!
Sorry to disappoint you guys! But I decided to have this story light and have less twists and dramas as much as possible, which I think made the story a boring.
Huhuhuhu.
Also, I want to give a shoutout to a friend, a fellow appler, blackjack and VIP who will be moving to Dubai next year, @Mon - here's your Christmas gift! kkkkk
And also, I want to welcome back @YelleUnnie (if you're an Appler and you don't know who YelleUnnie, then shame on you! It's like saying you don't know who buffy/ryelsi7 is!)
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
Thanks for all your lovely gifts of love! :D
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