“What are you doing here?” Changmin opened his eyes slowly but surely. He felt his body was so sore but not painful. He was lying on a mat, in front of someone’s door and it wasn’t anywhere familiar. It was somewhere in an apartment hallway that looked a lot like his own apartment but the colour of the floor tiles was different. The light bulbs that used to shine down the hallway were different from their own apartment. But he remembers this voice. It was quite squeaky and unique and only one person in the world has it.

He turned towards the voice and saw the face of the person he misses the most.

“Junsu-hyung!” he shrieked. Changmin was surprised he could talk at all. Junsu who was standing and was in a suit looked really pissed off with Changmin lying down on the mat in front of his door.

“Who are you? Go away, this place is not for beggars,”

Beggars? Changmin knitted his brows. He wasn’t a beggar. He was his previous member.

“Junsu-hyung? It’s me.” He was still mad at Junsu but talking like this didn’t hurt much. Instead, it brought happiness and a new kind of hope in Changmin. “It’s me, Changmin. Shim Changmin,”

“I don’t know anyone named that,” Junsu said nonchalantly. He even scoffed and when Changmin stood up and backed away he pulled out his card key and swiped it on the electronic box. Changmin stood beside Junsu, unable to process what was happening. Junsu couldn’t be like this, could he? It was only two weeks and Junsu already got over him? And why was this Junsu so rude and rough? Junsu-hyung that he knew was sweet and gentle and never raised his voice when they were talking normally like this.

“Wait, wait, Junsu-hyung,”

“I’m not your hyung.” He rolled his eyes, his voice was stern and there was threat in it. He looked directly into Changmin’s eyes and knew he was serious.

“I’m sorry, Junsu-ssi, but was it possible for you to be so mad at me and-and…” but Junsu didn’t listen anymore. He entered his apartment and closed the door right in front of Changmin.

Okay, fine then.

Changmin walked towards the left side to get to the elevator. He would walk to his own apartment or maybe call somebody to pick him up. He didn’t have his hand phone with him and his head was dizzier than ever. He couldn’t remember why he was in front of Junsu’s front door and it made him confused that Junsu didn’t recognise him at all.

Changmin exited the apartment and found out that the apartment that Junsu was staying was actually not the one that Changmin knew before. Junsu used to live with Yoochun after Jaejoong left and stayed with Kim Hyun Joong, his other best friend. But after Yoochun left to stay with his brother and his mother, Junsu went to his home and stayed together with his family again.

But just now, Changmin didn’t saw anyone or any other signs that showed there was anyone else inside the house. Junsu was clearly alone when he arrived home. He looked fiercer. Changmin shrugged, and continued to walk to the centre of Seoul. He saw the large LCD screen in the heart of the city showing Jaejoong’s new advertisement. He was with a female model, which was very unlikely for him.

And he looked really different even though he was still recognisable.

He shrugged it off again for the weirdness. He walked to the phone booth and was so disappointed that he didn’t have any change at all in his pocket. He looked around, and approached a middle aged lady who was standing under the bus stop.

“Excuse me?” it was weird when the lady didn’t look as shock. He was the face of Dong Bang Shin Ki, the greatest band ever in the history of K-Pop. Or maybe she was just an average citizen who didn’t get to know any young band like them.

“Yes?” she turned towards him and looked really cautious. She held onto her hand bag so tightly. Changmin wanted to laugh, he didn’t intend to steal or rob her off anything. He had enough in his bank to buy what he needed in his life, but not happiness. And not his hyungs back. The reality made him sad and desolated again.

“Can you lend me some change? I would like to use the public phone to call my hyung,” Changmin asked politely, as he had been taught. She looked at him and then nodded.

“Yes.” She dug into her hand bag and brought out a small coin purse. She counted a couple of coins and handed it to Changmin. Changmin smiled and she returned it back.

“Thank you very much.” Changmin flashed a smile and bowed down like a polite young man that he was. He held onto the coins so tightly and went to the nearest phone booth. He could remember Yunho’s number and the other members by heart because he was smart like that. He has the smartest brain and always the cleverest in the IQ test but he had chosen the path to become a singer.

He inserted one coin and pushed the number. He could feel the pulse behind his ears, as he waited for the line to be connected.

“The number you dialled wasn’t in use,”

What the hell?

Changmin dialled the exact same number, and then when the same things happened for the next two times he tried, he started to try another number. He started by dialling Jaejoong’s number. No service either. Yoochun. Then, only he tried to call Junsu, but none of them was using the number. It was like the numbers didn’t exist at all. He looked at the decreasing amount of coins that he had in his hands, and he only could make one more phone call.

He decided he would use the coin for desperate use and now he had to find another way to make his way home.

He walked towards a group of woman in their early thirties and observed if they recognised them. Usually women would scream when they saw the Shim Changmin in the street and he would end up having to run away from the fans, or else he would have to sign autographs all day long. It was tiring but he couldn’t push them away like that. It wasn’t polite and it was not practiced by any idol if they wanted to survive in the industry longer.

Changmin smiled at them and they returned it only to be polite but then turned their back on him. Changmin was surprised, if not shocked, because usually people don’t always disregard him. He’s a star, everyone knew him. Everyone from the young ones in primary school to ahjummas knew Dong Bang Shin Ki. They were the star of the century, the star of South Korea but why was he treated this way? And if he’s not mistaken, this was still a part of Seoul. There was still the big LCD screen and the various super malls that were owned by different competing big companies, and advertisement for new products, named the cell phones and computers.

He bit his lower lip. Why were the feelings different?

Okay, what now?

Changmin thought for a while and decided to call his mom. Maybe his mom still didn’t change her phone number because she wasn’t a celebrity and there’s no need to always change the phone like him and all the DBSK members. He dialled the number with the last coin that he had in his pocket and unfortunately the number didn’t exist. He gritted his teeth, almost losing his patience that was only as thick as onion’s skin. He heaved a sigh as he walked away from the phone booth and sat down on a bench nearby.

He looked around and his shoulder slouched. He didn’t feel right. This wasn’t Seoul, it was like somewhere else and he couldn’t register or even any idea where. But signs of Seoul were everywhere, the lights on the road and the cars. Everything was familiar but…

Where should he go?

Changmin tilted his head and watched the advertisement with Jaejoong in it. Jaejoong was in a summer cloth which consisted of wife’s beater and jeans, and Changmin wasn’t sure if it was intentionally worn to show off the curve of his pelvic bone or something but he sure looked so sensual than ever. He had never done anything provocative before while modelling for any brand. Not when they were shooting pictures for their albums or when they were shirtless. Jaejoong was seductive, but when with women…

The woman that was with Jaejoong in the advertisement kissed his collarbone and kissed his lips softly before Jaejoong returned it and they spun around in a tango dance. Changmin could feel his mouth was obviously opened wide when he watched it. Jaejoong had never been this seductive, never been this obscene. Not when he was with Yunho. Yunho the leader would never let him because of course Jaejoong would not want to. He didn’t always do advertisement with girls of course let alone foreign supermodels like this. It was super rare, almost extinct.

Changmin scratched the right side of his head and thought for a while again. He couldn’t call anybody, no one recognised him in the street and he didn’t want to advertise his status as a celebrity. It was so humiliating and it wasn’t that easy to say that you are a one famous singer.

Shall I go back to Junsu’s place? It was one place that he knew, and one place that he was sure would take him in. After all, it was Junsu and Junsu had the purest heart out of all of them. He would know what to do, he would stay at Junsu’s and then he would ask Yunho to fetch him at his home. Yunho would bring him home.

Home. It hit him. He was not living together with Junsu anymore, they were living separately. And he thought Junsu would never leave him.

He took a really deep breath. As he walked towards the apartment where Junsu was residing, he didn’t come across anyone who could recognise him. He was literally pushed away, and if people even looked at him twice, it was because he heard they say he was handsome and he looked like some kind of Chinese legendary hero. He didn’t say it himself; he heard people around him said it like that. Everyone for the first time ever people disregards him and it’s in Korea!

He scratched the back of his head when he arrived back on the ground floor of Junsu’s apartment. He tried to remember which floor Junsu was residing and he gambled according to what he had seen of Junsu’s house number. He pushed the number 20 in the lift and waited patiently while his mind couldn’t stop thinking about what was happening around him. It was really weird. No one recognised him in the street? Everyone that he knew had their phone number changed?

When the door of the lift opened he looked at his right side and he was confident he had come to the right floor. He walked slowly as he tried to search Junsu’s home.

And then he came across it again. Fortunately there was name tag with KIM Junsu in front of it. Changmin pressed the bell and he had to wait for two minutes for people from the inside to respond.

“Who is it?”

“Me.”

“I don’t know anyone with the name me.” Obviously this Junsu wasn’t as funny and sassy as he used to know. And somehow Changmin was terrified by thinking that his personality changed because of the lawsuit they made. But it couldn’t be more than two weeks. He knew it. But who knows? He had had no watch now in his hands and he had not seen any devices for him to know when he was.

“It’s Changmin.” He said, his voice was polite, not like always when he talked to Junsu. He loves to tease Junsu so much and Junsu didn’t bother with the fact that he was two years younger and let him to play around with him. Changmin was always the crueller one, so when he had to act like this Changmin felt like the table had been turned around.

“Who’s Changmin? Are you one of my students?”

Students?

“Ah…no…yes, yes!” Changmin had to lie. He had to get inside the house and ask for Junsu’s help. It didn’t matter now if Junsu acted like they didn’t know each other. He needed protection and this matter most.

“Why don’t you say so? But don’t you know the rules about lecturers’ privacy?”

“But…” Changmin was at loss of words. What could he do when he didn’t know anything? He couldn’t even lie. “But, Junsu-hyung,”

“I’m not your hyung. I’m your lecturer,”

“I’m sorry. But can you please let me inside?” Changmin finally asked. Junsu sighed and finally he saw the light on the answering machine turned green and the door was opened from inside. Changmin was relieved. He was safe for another night. He looked up and saw Junsu stood in front of him. It felt familiar, almost like he had returned to his own home.

But who was he kidding?

He smiled at Junsu and Junsu gestured for Changmin to enter. Changmin silently followed Junsu’s footsteps and he walked through the door. He took off his shoes and wore the one that Junsu offered to him and absentmindedly he followed the route to the house showed by Junsu. The apartment was actually quite big for someone who lives alone. He wasn’t sure if Junsu lived alone so he assumed it like that.

“Which class are you?” suddenly Junsu asked, he was at the kitchen. The apartment had a very unique style. After he entered the house, there was a big living room in a circular space and there was a set of couch and home theatre. There was also a small closet near it. There was a set of stairs to get to the bed, and there wasn’t any wall that showed that it was a bedroom.

“Aah…” Changmin thought hard for a second to continue with his lying but then he gave up.

“Actually, I’m not…” suddenly he was shocked when he saw Junsu with a glass of liquor in his hand. To be exact, he was drinking white wine. Changmin blinked several times. He had never seen Junsu with liquor because he wasn’t fond of drinking alcohol. Even when they were filming together, the alcohol that was supposed to be in Junsu’s drinks was in a very small amount and he already complained that he had a very low tolerance of it.

“Not what?” Junsu drank it in one go, making Changmin felt even weirder. Junsu could never take alcohol in one gulp. Junsu sipped it little by little and would give the rest of it to Yoochun.

“I’m sorry, but I’m not your student,” Changmin might as well said the truth. After all, he would ask Junsu why he was doing this to me. “Don’t you remember me, Junsu-hyung? I’m one of your members? We broke up not two weeks ago, how could you forget me that easily? Do you hate me that much?” Junsu’s brows furrowed. He poured another wine to his glass and sipped it in a very profound manner.

“What member?” Junsu scoffed and he sipped his wine again. He didn’t look drunk, he could contain his alcohol quite well, so contrast with Junsu that he knew.

“What member?” Changmin almost lost his hope. “Junsu-hyung!”

“Don’t call me hyung when I had never met you before!” Junsu put down his glass. He let out a sigh and glared at Changmin who was trembling. Changmin was scared when he thought Junsu had forgotten all about him, and maybe Yunho too.

“Don’t you remember about me? About Yunho?”

“Yunho? What the are you saying?” this time Changmin was surprised again. Junsu rarely swore, it was almost like he always using polite words and never the vulgar ones. Not like Jaejoong and Yoochun. Junsu was always careful with his words, always patient and thoughtful. “If you are here to…”

“Junsu-hyung!”

“Don’t call me Junsu-hyung!” Junsu was mad, he could tell. There were rare occasions where Junsu got mad when they were still together, but Junsu was silent about it. When Junsu was angry, he would vent it by doing more exercise and confronting the people he was mad with, but only when he already cooled down. He never confronted anyone when he was too angry because he never lost his control. “Why are you here again? If you’re not my students, then you’re not welcomed here. Instead, if you are here to ask for more marks, I’m sorry but the results are final and I can’t change it. Not anymore. Now go before I call the police and charge you with trespassing!”

“But…”

“Go out now!” Junsu took his cell phone.

“I have nowhere to go, hyung!” Junsu rolled his eyes. Changmin couldn’t help it. He was his hyung, he couldn’t stop a slip of a tongue. He bit his lower lip, hearing the always calmer Junsu raised his voice made him shivered.

“Do you have parents?”

“No one answers me when I called them. No one that I knew used their phone numbers anymore.”

“Where do your parents live?” Junsu asked.

“In Seoul.” Changmin answered. Junsu put both his hands on his waist and watched Changmin for a while.

“Are you lost? Do you want me to send you home?” Junsu asked in a very soft voice, 180 degrees different from before. Changmin was startled by the sudden change, but he was happy that Junsu became his Junsu again.

His Junsu.

He would call the gentler Junsu with it. And when the fiercer Junsu came out, he would cower again.

“Do you mind?”

“As long as you’re not bothering me anymore,”

***

Changmin and Junsu were in Junsu’s Ferrari twenty minutes later. Changmin hadn’t remember when was the last time he had been in Junsu’s car, but he thought Junsu had never had any Ferrari before.

“When did you buy this car?” Changmin asked.

“Why do you care?” Changmin felt silent. Can he just ask without being asked question back? He just wanted to know. “It’s only recently. I was bored with my previous car,”

“Oh.”

“Do you like it?”

“Yes,” Changmin couldn’t his smile. When Junsu was being cold towards him, he thought that he would never be the same again. “But, hyung, when is now?”

Junsu rolled his eyes again, but he had gone tired to correct Changmin every time Changmin called him hyung. So, he just told Changmin the date of that day, and Changmin nodded. Nothing had changed; he had been in the same year. But why was Junsu so different from who he used to know?

“Here.” Changmin said, and Junsu took a turn and they arrived at a big house. Changmin was positive it was his house. He excitedly stepped out of the car, finally he would meet his family again and ask them what really happened.

He pressed the bell. He was relieved when Junsu came out of the car and watched him from afar. At least he had a back-up plan if something happened here.

Someone came out and he saw his sister came out. He smiled, but it seemed like the girl didn’t recognise him. Usually when he came back home unannounced like this, his little sisters would scream and jumped happily when they see his face.

“Who are you looking for?”

Changmin felt like his heart was stabbed.

“Who are you? Do you want to see father or mother?”

“Jiyeon-ah…” his little sister’s eyes went wide. “Don’t you remember me?” his sister looked at him, and shook her head. Changmin froze. “Jiyeon…”

“Umma!!” his sister screamed, calling for her mother. One minute later, both his parents ran out of the house and saw Changmin stood in front of the gate staring at them.

“Umma, don’t you recognise me?” Changmin asked, very desperately. He couldn’t believe his eyes, both his parents were standing in front of him but none could identify him. He was on verge of tears. He would cry soon if his dad didn’t know him. He turned towards his father and his father bowed politely towards him.

What? His dad never bowed at him. Families don’t bow, families hug each other.

“I’m sorry. Maybe you’re mistaken,”

“But, Appa…”

“I’m sorry. But I have no son,” his tears fell down and he turned towards his Umma and saw her pulled Jiyeon closer.

“I’m not a stranger. I’m your son,”

“But I have no son. I’m sorry,” his dad said and Changmin put his hand on his mouth. His chest felt constricted and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. How could they disregard him just like that? Was this a reality? His family would never abandon him, wouldn’t they? He was their gem before, was it because of the lawsuit it affected them so much that they disown him? Was it that happened?

He stared into his dad’s eyes, trying to find some lies there but nothing gave him away. There was no recognition there, no familiarity when their eyes met. Changmin felt there was a lump in his throat and the next thing he knew he walked back towards Junsu’s car where the man was still waiting.

“How about it?”

Changmin couldn’t answer because he was sobbing. His knees felt so weak. He looked into the sky and saw the stars that were so abundant tonight and felt the tears streaming non-stop.

a/n anyyeong everyone! another chapter is up, please comment and subscribe, please do support this story!! kamsahamnida! *bows down*