MyungSoo had called me numerous of time, though I hadn’t answered any of them. I didn’t want to talk to him right now, because I didn’t know what to tell him. He must’ve already noticed that I wasn’t in school.

I heard how the signal of when you got an text sounded and I sighed once again, how many had she got now, ten, eleven? She had stopped counting when it went past three messages. At least he seemed worried and that I weren’t there. The signal went off again, causing me to snatch it away from the night stand and flip it open so I could look through what he had written.

‘Why aren’t you in school?’

‘Hello?’

‘Did something happen????’

‘ANSWER!!!’

I didn’t know why but a smile appeared on my lips as I read the last on, ‘answer’. Boy he seemed angry. Well it wasn’t something new after all so it didn’t bother me that much.

*Should I answer?*

The best thing would to answer but then again, what kind of answer would I get back? Though it was something inside me that caused me to start replying, and before I knew it I had already sent away a text saying that I needed to work tonight and that I needed to sleep.

I cursed as it came up to me, what I’d written to him. Now he would now that I was working. The best thing I could do now was to not answer him if he wondered where I was working. As I expected, the reply to my message wasn’t late to show up and he asked me what kind of job it was. But I couldn’t possible tell him that.
I typed in that he didn’t need to know; well he had brought it on himself since that was the reply I got when asking what he had done. So it wasn’t more than far that I got to use that excuse some time.

After I’d placed my phone away I glanced at the clock hanging in my room. It was a bit past 6.30PM, I had plenty of time to shower and do something else. I didn’t want to eat. I had lost the appetite for food after the crash. The only thing I had eaten since ‘that’ thing six days ago was two bowls of ramyeon and a sandwich, plus plenty of water, since it would make me less hungry.

My stomach suddenly growled in discomfort, I knew I was hungry but I couldn’t find myself to eat something. Just the thought of food made me sick. I ignored the fact that I where hungry and proceeded past the kitchen and stepped inside the bathroom.

The mirror stared back at me as I where standing there, feeling how my world had fallen apart before my eyes, and I couldn’t even do anything about it and even though I’d gotten a job it wasn’t a place where I felt proud to work at, a night club.

I sighed at my reflection and then stripped myself out off my pajama and stepped inside the shower. The first droplets of water that hit me made my body shiver as I turned the water warmer and warmer until it didn’t go any farther as I felt how my skin was burning, though I still found myself trying to get the water warmer and as that didn’t work, tears started to form in my eyes and I kneeled down on the stone hard marble floor and cried until my heart was pounding hard against my chest.

*Why did my life have to turn out like this? What had I ever done wrong?*

I didn’t know how long I’d been seated in that position until I suddenly heard the signal from my phone. It was someone that was calling me. A few minutes later I was sitting on the couch in a new pajama, holding onto my cell phone. It had been MyungSoo who’d called me a couple of minutes ago. Though I’d already decided that I wouldn’t call him back an undying pain was lingering inside my heart. I wanted to tell him but on the other hand not.

With a glance on the clock and with it showing a bit past 8.00PM I scrambled to my feet’s and started to find some clothes that I could wear as I hoped that Shin wouldn’t be there. That at least was what the mafia guy had introduced him as.

My clothes were quite simple, only a pair of slimed black jeans and a warming gray cardigan with a white t-shirt under, and then finished it off with my outerwear consisting of my uggs, jacket, beanie, earmuffs, gloves and lastly my bag.

After checking that I had everything with me I exited and proceeded towards the subway with hasty steppes as I listened to some music on my phone.

~~

My wish hadn’t been fulfilled as I took a quick note that Shin was seated together with the same two males at the same table as yesterday. And to worsen my fear more, Shin had clearly pointed out to Jinho that he only wanted me to serve him and no one else. And that had made Se Yoo even angrier at me, though I had no idea what I’d done wrong in the first place.

I slowly breathed in through my nose before I let the air escape through my mouth as I strode over towards the table with a fake smile plastered on my lips.

“Lovely lady” Shin lightened up and smiled as he motioned for me to sit next to him. Though I was scared of him he was still the best to sit next to. That if you could call any of these three males’ good citizens. Since I knew that the two guys he had brought with him stared at me like I where a piece of meat. Though the first thing I’d made clear to Shin was that I didn’t want anyone to touch me and if they did then I’ll change table immediately. He had understood where I was going and had told his guys to take it easy.

The first two hours went by smoothly and there was nothing bothering me, the only thing I was doing was pouring up soju and talking. It might seem as an easy job, but it wasn’t. It was pure humiliation.

“Ara come” I heard In Ae’s voice from afar and turned my head in the direction of the voice, and found her standing by the door waving a cigarette in her hand. In Ae and I had sort of become quite good friends actually. Since she was the only one closest to my age, she was only twenty years old.

She had told me that after that she dropped out from High School and thus also being thrown out from her home, started working her because she needed money. And since she didn’t have any High School diploma she couldn’t get any other work than this. But on the other hand she wasn’t sad, since you could earn more in this place than many ordinary jobs.

“I’m coming soon” I bowed for Shin and his friends as I fallowed In Ae out through the door. “It isn’t that bad right?” In Ae suddenly spoke as she let the smoke filled air sipper from and she smiled. “You mean the job” I asked, as I wasn’t too sure if that was what she meant. But it soon came clear that it was when she nodded her head and glanced around on all the people that where passing by on the street.

“Iseul” my body froze and I snapped my head around as my mind screamed a loud and clear ‘NO’. It couldn’t be true, this was just a dream, and a dream I soon would find to be truer than ever.

Why did he come now, why did he found me here of all places, in the most humiliating environment ever and in half ty clothes that didn’t make anything better.

“Are you her boyfriend?” In Ae asked MyungSoo as I saw how her gaze wandered up and down his body before I could hear a low ‘great taste’ as she then shifted her eyes from him to me and smiled. And the situation couldn’t get more awkward when MyungSoo suddenly reply came, telling that he was my boyfriend. Though I tried to pursue her that so was not the case and that he was only lying.

“Anyways I’m going in, you can sort things out with your boyfriend” and with that In Ae disappeared from my sight and returned to the club as I stared back at MyungSoo wonder what he wanted and that it had to go fast because I needed to return in there as well before Jinho started to wonder where I had gone to.

“Why are you working at that place?” MyungSoo was angry as he spoke and his body language was showing that more than well. “Why not, I don’t have any parents that can help me pay the bills anymore. I have to earn them myself” I knew that the last part was a bit mean, I knew very well that he was working as well. But that was probably because he wanted to do something else than sitting at home and rot. Not because he needed to survive.

He harshly took a hold of my arm as his eyes glistered black and angry. “You don’t know a thing of what I’m going through” he snapped and brought my body closer to his as he glared down at me. For once I wasn’t afraid or hurt that he was like this. Actually I didn’t care anymore, everyone where betraying me and it was just a matter of time before he would as well.

“Of course I don’t because you haven’t told me” I stated sarcastic as I tried to pull my arm away but that only made him tighten his grip and pull me into his embrace as he threw his arms around my waist and pulled me even closer so that I rested my head on his chest. His heart was thumping like crazy, well whose heart wouldn’t do so when being angry and furious. I know mine would.

“ARA”

*Crap*

I managed to somehow get out from MyungSoo’s tight grasp as I slowly turned my head in the direction of Jinho’s oh so familiar voice. “Didn’t I tell you, now boyfriends” he was also angry. I already knew that it was my specialty, to make people upset, but all this. Wasn’t it a bit too much?

“But he’s not my bo…” I was cut short by Jinho again, he told me that I was fired and that he’d go get my things. I didn’t even have the chance to defend myself because in the next moment Jinho was gone.
Now it was my turn to be angry, MyungSoo had caused me to lose my job and god was he going to pay for it. “You” I’d focused my stare on MyungSoo again.

“I hate you”

My voice had been light, almost inaudible as I spoke, though I knew that he had heard me because I felt how his body tensed and his eyes shifted color again. It was as he felt sorry for what he had caused. But feeling sorry wouldn’t get my job back.