”Umma, umma look what daddy bought for me” the five-year old Iseul was holding onto a white teddy bear with a large red heart over its chest. At first glance it might’ve looked quite simple and dull, but to Iseul, this was the best present she’d ever received from her parents.

The best part was that you could press on the heart and the teddy bear would cutely say ‘Saranghae’ before a somewhat embarrassed laughter escaped Tolly.

It had been named after her favorite character, Tolly, who was a cartoon girl that fought against evil people and protected the village she lived in by the mere age of nine. But what made her so special was that she was born from the earth and could control the four elements, something that no one else could. Thus why she selected that name was because she wanted Tolly to protect her.

Suddenly, the image of her being a five year old changed and so did the appearance of Tolly’s cute and fluffy self. She had turned to an ugly looking and evilly laughing teddy bear that had enlarged to the size of Iseul herself as she found herself sitting in an airplane. It didn’t take many seconds for her to record what was happening, she was sitting inside the airplane that was falling from the sky, towards the Pacific Ocean in such speed that it was flying around personal belongings all over the place and also making everyone being pushed into their seats as the g-forces was taking over.

But the most horrifying was still the screams of those 200-300 people that were plunging towards their deaths. The scream of a woman sitting on the right caught her attention and she soon found herself crying at the sight.

It was her mother; she was begging and crying at the same time. Her father on the other hand was dead silent, except for some few well used words that he said to his wife.

“Honey, Iseul will do great, she’s a responsible young woman with hopes and dreams”

~~~~

My eyes shoot open and I could feel how my breathing was uneven, probably because of the dream I just had. Unconsciously, tears were streaming down my cheeks. I tried to lift my right hand, so that I could wipe away the glistering tears from my face when I felt how it was stuck into something. A low yelp escaped my lips as I saw how MyungSoo was sleeping, with his head on the bed and his left hand holding onto my right.

“He’s been lying there since he dropped you off” I snapped my head to where the voice came from, it was the school nurse, who was sitting there, typing on the computer that was standing on the desk in front of her as she spoke.

*What had really happened in the cafeteria?* I wondered as I shifted my gaze from her to MyungSoo, who suddenly started to open his eyes, before rubbing the tiredness out off them as he moved around in the chair he was sitting on.

Though his first words to me wasn’t what I expected. After losing one’s parents the first thing you would’ve expected the people around you to ask was, ‘are you alright’ or ‘I’m sorry for your loose’. But he didn’t. The first sentence that left his lips was ‘did I wake you’.

*He sure was special, this Kim MyungSoo that was staring at me with those lifeless and cold eyes, though lately they had started showing more color and happiness. But now, they where back again. His original self had returned.*

“No” my answer was simple and direct, which must’ve arrived as a surprise for him, since I usually didn’t answer with one word sentences.

Suddenly everything inside me broke, and I started to shake as if the temperature in the room was below minus. Hundreds of memories showed before my eyes as I cried into my hands.

*What am I going to do now? I don’t have any money; I can’t pay any bills, which means that in two months I’ll be living on the streets. Though, one thing is for sure, I’m not going to tell MyungSoo. And I need to find a work fast* a painful thought hit me; I couldn’t afford to mourn my dead parents if I wanted to survive. I needed to be tough and show everyone that I could survive on my own, that I could take care of myself.

“I hope they’ll understand” the words slipped from my lips and I stared in disbelief at MyungSoo, his eyes looked surprised. Did he hear what I said? My fear became true. He had. And asked what I meant by that. It wasn’t like I could tell him about me getting a job and not having the time to mourn my parents. He couldn’t possible understand the feeling of losing one’s parents.

I hurried to explain that it was nothing. That he didn’t have to worry. Well why would he worry? He hated me at first; he might as well hate me right now.

“Time?” my eyes wandered around on the walls as I where searching for a clock that could tell me how much the time was. I needed to start my job searching as soon as possible. So I could save up enough money so I would be a little ready when the bills arrived.

“It’s 4.45PM” the school nurse, or Oh Mi Rae as her name was stated while she typed away on her computer. I heaved a sigh; I needed to get home, now.

“I have to get home” I cried as I stood up on my feet’s. My whole body was hurting, but mostly my heart. I started to wonder if the pain would ever go away. Would I have to spend the rest of my life living like this? Would the rest of my life only contain suffering?

I didn’t know.

“You shouldn’t be by yourself” MyungSoo said and I heard that he was concerned, but this matter wasn’t something he should be sticking his nose into. This is my family, not his. And for the first time, I actually felt that he was annoying and irritating.

Before MyungSoo could react I was almost out off the door, I had to run. Run away from him now, he couldn’t help me with this, more like. I didn’t want him to help. I needed to do this on my own.

*I’m sorry MyungSoo*