We hadn’t done much more than watching TV a couple of hours, or more like he had, since I had fallen asleep next to him on the couch. I know I said that I weren’t that tired but obviously I was.

And now we where on our way to the COEX mall, yeah where he also worked, but he didn’t start until 4.00PM so we had about two hours to do anything we wanted. As we were sitting on the train, my tummy growled, as in me being hungry.

Luckily for me the sound from the subway train overshadowed the sound and I grinned, it would be too embarrassing if MyungSoo heard that I where hungry when I just hours ago told him that I weren’t.

“Next; Samseong”

We stood up as the doors slid open and we stepped out from train before we searched for the right exit. The exit to which COEX mall would be closest to, since it was still freezing cold outside and we both wanted to get inside.

I clapped my hands together as we entered the mall as I tried to make myself warmer. “So what do you want to do first?” MyungSoo asked as my tummy growled once again, which of course caused him to look at me, his eyes piercing into mine. It felt as if he asked me why I had been lying to him before.

“Eat” I pouted and then felt how he grabbed my hand and then dragged me in the direction of what I think is to where the food is, hopefully.

“So what do you want to eat?” he asked as we stood outside the biggest food court ever. It practically had any food in the world. Japanese, Chinese, Italian, Swedish, American, Korean. You name it, they had it all. “I-I don’t know” I stuttered over the fact that I hadn’t seen this many restaurants in one place as I searched in my pocket after money.*Great only 5 000₩ (3.5$)* I muttered inside myself as I understood that I couldn’t afford to eat.

“MyungSoo” I said in a low voice, embarrassed that I hadn’t enough money to eat out. “Mm?” he turned his attention to me as I looked down on the floor, not wanting to meet his gaze.

“I can’t afford to eat” I stated almost inaudible. The difference between the two of us totally showed right now. He, who could afford to buy probably everything in this mall, and me, I couldn’t even afford to buy the cheapest food in here.

“Then I’ll pay” he said before dragging me towards a restaurant, the Korean restaurant to be true. But…” I began but he cut me off telling me that I didn’t need to worry over money. Yeah that wasn’t really what troubled me. But the fact that I couldn’t give anything back to him. It wasn’t like I could just go and buy something without having to look on the price tag.

“I want two sets of Kimpab, then Kimchi, and water to drink” MyungSoo ordered, he was probably used to eat out like this. Unlike me who ate out like one, maybe two times a year.

“Why do you always eat Kimpab when I’m with you?” I wondered as we sat down at a table and placed the trays of food down. He didn’t answer and that got me to glance up from the delicious looking food and to look at him. His facial features had hardened and his eyes too.

“I’m sorry” I beamed and heaved a sigh as I let my shoulders sink in an apologetic gesture. It wasn’t like I wanted to torture him, but it just happened when I totally forgot about his pain. The pain that I didn’t know the reason of, maybe I’ll never know the reason of his underlying pain that was bothering him.

“Don’t be” he replied and I stared up from the food again to look at him. His eyes were still black and emotionless, but other than that he appeared normal. Well the definition ‘normal’ isn’t something I usually use. Since nothing is normal. Because everyone defines normal differently and therefore nothing is wrong or right.
And with that the both of us started to eat in total silence, it was a bit awkward but I was a bit afraid too, that I would say something stupid and totally unnecessary.

After that we had eaten we went to look on clothes, and trying them out, just for fun of course. “You should try this” MyungSoo showed the dress that I had been looking at one month ago. The white dress with a huge black ribbon tied under the chest. But how come I didn’t notice that we had entered that store.

“Okay” I smiled, since the first and only time I’d seen it I didn’t try it out. *Well duh, you could never afford it, that’s why*.

“How does it look?” I asked feeling a bit embarrassed over the fact that I where showing myself in a dress. Okay it wasn’t the first time I showed myself in a dress in front of MyungSoo but the other time it was dark outside and that made it harder to see.

I saw how is eyes widened when I showed myself in front of him. “Does it look that bad?” I asked him but he didn’t reply. He only stared at my arm.

*Oh no, he noticed my ugly scar*

I hurried to cover it up as much as possible before I ran inside the changing room again, while feeling how tears where building up in my eyes as I changed from the dress to my regular clothes.

*Great now he’s going to think I’m disgusting* I ranted in my mind as I carefully stepped out from the changing room. My expectations of him being there where zero as in he’d run away from there. But he hadn’t. He was standing at the same spot as before but his eyes where back to the ‘normal’ size again.

“I-I kno…” I began but stopped as I saw how he stepped forward and took my hand in his and then proceeded in roll up up the sleeve of my shirt so that he could look at it again. And as the scar became visibly he ran a finger down the whole scar. A shiver went down my spine. Not because it hurt but because it felt weird. How could someone want to touch something that ugly?

“How?”

“I managed to fall off my bike when I where fourteen” I answered and then fixed my shirt back to how it was suppose to be.

“Hmm, so do you want the dress?” he suddenly asked and I gawked at him. How can I possible let him buy it? God it costs 1 600 000₩ (840$). “I’m sorry I can’t let you buy it” I replied, even though that I wanted it really much, still it would be too much if he bought it.

“Don’t you want it?”

“Yes I do, but I would feel bad if you bought it, that’s why. And that’s why we are going to do something else” I said and dragged him along this time. Not the other way around, with him dragging me.

“Iseul?”

“Mm” I didn’t look back as I answered and just dragged him along with me.

“I need to work”

I stopped in my tracks and glanced at my wrist watch, it had already turned 3.50PM and it was only ten minutes left until he started working.

“Oh, okay” I where sad that the time had flew by so fast, it wasn’t like we had done much. Well I have to blame myself too, since I slept and that took time, time that we could’ve spent here.

“Annyeong” my goodbye was maybe a bit rushed. But that was only because; well I didn’t know why I rushed in saying goodbye, maybe because I didn’t want to say goodbye.

“Bye” and with that he disappeared out off my sight.

I heaved a sigh. Why does it feel like my whole life revolves around Kim MyungSoo?