Forgive and Forget
99 Paper Cranes (Completed)--
She sat at one corer of this small cell. She was not expecting anyone to come for her, after all, it has been a week. After learning what she have done, her family have disowned her. The people she thought were her friends have kept their distance from her, afraid to be tagged as a murderer's friend. There was the man who loves her, who kept on visiting her, but every time he comes, she shoos him away. It has been days, but she have not seen even his shadow. Maybe he got tired of her. Maybe, he realized she's not worth his time and his love.
“Yan, you have a visitor.” she heard the police said. She stood up from her corner, and he saw him – Mike. “What are you doing here?” she asked monotonously. “I... I came for you... to check on you...”
“You don't really have to do that, Mike. You turned me in to the police after what I have done, and I hate you for that. I don't even want to see your face.”
Mike closed his eyes, and sighed in dismay. He thought that if he hadn't shown himself to Trixie for days, she will soon learn to forgive her. He only did what he thought was right, and that is to tell the truth, but Trixie could not understand him for that. “Trixie...” he said. “What you did... you know that you have to pay for what you have done to Kit...” he said in a low voice. “I am not at fault.” Trixie said as she folded her arms. “It wasn't my fault that she blocked her beloved best friend, and took the bullet from him. It should be Calvin who should die, not her! And besides... she didn't die, didn't she?” Mike nodded his head. Trixie stared at him for a long time. Then, tears began to fall from her eyes. “It's all Calvin's fault! It's their fault. It's your fault! If Calvin could only love me, I shouldn't have resorted to this... if you didn't turn me in, maybe my family and friends wouldn't disown me! I am all alone now, Mike! I'm all alone... you don't how it feels to be left behind by all the people you love because of one stupid mistake. You don't know how I'm suffering now. My family left me... my friends left me... and you are siding with them.” she shouted at him.
Mike just looked at her as she cried. “I never left you, Trixie...” he said. “I only did what is right. If... If I can only exchange my place with you, then I'll do it. I can't bear to see you like this...” he said in a low voice. Trixie wiped the tear from her face, and then stared into his eyes again. “Go...” she said in a firm voice. She pointed at the door not far behind him. “Leave me. I don't need you, and I don't ever want to see your face again.” she said. Mike sighed, and then turned his back to leave. Seems to him that Trixie will never understand. She have closed herself in after that incident. Trixie watched Mike as he leaves. She went back to her usual corner, and then began to sob.
--
He carefully folded the paper, and as soon as he have made the paper crane, he put it inside the jar. He paused, and looked at the girl lying on the bed. He leaned over her, and gave her a kiss on the forehead. Two weeks have passed, and Kit's condition have stabilized. During those critical days, there was times that Kit have almost died, but the doctors were able to save her. Calvin was scared, that he could only cry as they watched the doctors resuscitate her. But now, he knows that Kit will survive, and he will wait for her until the day she wakes up. From the ICU, Kit was transferred to a private room, but still, a lot of machines were connected to her. It's a good start, he always thought. Slowly, Kit will recover and one day she wouldn't need those machines to help her live.
He stared at her sleeping face, and smiled to himself. “When you wake up, I will still love you...” he whispered to her. He gently brushed her head, and kissed her on the cheek. “I'm waiting for you, Kit... I hope you will wake up soon. I want us to be together...” he said. Just then, he heard someone enter the room. “Cal?” he heard Chun call. He stood up, and saw Chun coming up to him. “Big problem...” Chun said. Calvin gave him a confused look. “What?” he asked. “Hannah will be coming how in a week's time, and I don't think she have an idea of what happened to Kit...” Chun said. “Wei, didn't I tell you guys to let her know? And besides, why is she coming home all of a sudden?”
“Their troop, or whatever you call it, would be performing in some fancy place for a month, that's why she'll be coming home.”
“Fine, she'll come home and then she would know what happened to her friend. I told you to tell her, right, Chun?”
Chun gave out an idiotic smile. “I didn't have the heart to tell her. Remember how sensitive she is... besides... she might lose her focus if she learned that Kit got shot in the head and almost died. So... I asked Joy to tell her...” Chun said. Just then, Joy and Jiro came. They heard the last thing Chun said. “Tell who what?” Joy asked. She placed the bag of food on the table, and came up to Chun. “I told you to tell Hannah what happened to Kit. She'll be coming home in a weeks time.” he said. Like Chun, Joy smiled guiltily at them. “I... I didn't have the heart to tell her. And besides, she might not be able to perform well if she found out that Kit was almost killed by Trixie.” she said. Calvin sighed and shook his head. “So, who's going to tell Hannah now?” he asked. “I asked Jiro to tell her.” Joy said. Jiro was surprised to hear his name. “Me?” he asked her. Joy smiled and shook her head. Jiro looked up at Calvin, and smiled guiltily. “I don't -” Calvin put up his hands to stop him from saying anything. “Let me guess. 'I don't have the heart to tell Hannah what happened to Kit. If she found out that Kit's in a coma, she will definitely cry and lose her focus.' Am I right?” he asked. Jiro smiled and nodded his head. “Correct. And so, I asked Danson to tell her.” Jiro said. Chun looked at Jiro, bewildered by what he said. “Y-you told Danson to tell Hannah?” he asked. Jiro nodded his head. Chun began to panic, and then he put his hands on his shoulder and shook Jiro. “Jiro! What have you done! Why did you ask Danson to tell Hannah!” he asked. Jiro gave him a confused look, then took his hands away from him. “Wei, what's wrong if Danson and Hannah talk. They're close, right?” he asked. “Because Danson is not supposed to talk to Hannah! It will ruin her surprise to him!” Chun shouted at Jiro. “What surprise?” he asked. “Hannah will be coming home in a week's time to surprise Danson... OK? She was avoiding any contacts with that guy to surprise him.” Chun said.
Then, they heard the door open. Chun stood frozen in his place when he saw Danson get inside the room. “I'm here...” Danson said as he walked towards them. He noticed that everyone fell silent when he arrived. “Anything wrong? Did I miss anything?” he asked the four. “Uh, Dannie boy...” Jiro began. “By any chance, were you able to talk to Hannah about what happened to Kit?” Danson shook his head. “How can I talk to her, she's not always at her dorm. She's not even returning my calls. I'm getting worried about her.” he said. Chun sighed with relief upon hearing his answer. “Thank God...” he thought.
Danson walked towards Kit's bed, and then took a look at her. “How is she?” he asked Calvin. Calvin smiled at him as their eyes met. “Stable as usual. They injected her usual medication just a while ago. I guess we don't have anything to worry about for today.” Calvin said. Danson smiled and nodded his head. “By the way, someone I know wants to pay her a visit. She's also Kit's friend, but he's scared that if you see him, you might beat the hell out of him.” Danson said. Calvin gave him a confused look. “Who?” he asked. “Let me guess, Mike He?” Chun asked. Danson nodded his head. “Why? Was he guilty because of what happened to Kit?” Joy snapped at Danson as she folded her arms. “Joy...” Danson said as he looked at her. “It was Mike who warned me about what Trixie is about to do to Calvin. Maybe we were too late, but he did his best. And besides, he also became Kit's friend.” Danson said. “It was also Mike who turned Trixie in. I know that guy is in love with her, but he chose to do the right thing.” Chun said. “He can go and visit Kit. I really don't mind.” he said. He turned his attention at Kit again, and then checked her dextrose. “And one more thing, Cal...” Danson said. Calvin looked at him. “He wanted to talk to you. About something.”
--
“Calvin, can we talk?” Joy said as they went outside of the room. Calvin gave her a confused look. “We are already talking.” he said. Joy shook her head. “I have to talk to you about something, Calvin...” she said. “Can this wait?” he asked. Joy shook her head. “I really don't have time to deal with this, Joy. I have a lot of errands to do for Auntie Jin. I hope you understand...” Calvin said. Then he turned his back and left her standing by the hallway. Joy lowered her head as Calvin left. Behind her, the door opened, and Jiro was watching her. “Joy?” he called. Joy looked back at him. “Is there something wrong?” he asked. Joy let out a faint smile and shook her head. “I'm OK, Jiro...” she said. Jiro folded his arm, and looked closely at her. “I don't think so. I know when you're lying, and when you're OK.” he said. Joy sighed, and then took a seat. Jiro sat beside her. “I don't know... I just wanted to talk to Calvin about us...” she said in a low voice. “Is there something wrong?” Jiro asked. Joy looked at him and nodded her head. “Jiro, it's clear to me that he is in love with Kit. I've heard him say it several times, and though it breaks my heart... I have to let him go.” he said. “So... you want to talk to him to break it off with him?” Jiro asked. Joy nodded her head. “It's about time, Jiro. We never really our closure. I don't know... it just ended just like that. I know there are people that I have hurt during our relationship, maybe it be intentionally or not. I know in some ways, when I got together with Calvin. I have hurt Kit because I took Calvin away from her. I have hurt you, because I did not believe in what you promised me. I've hurt Celestine, because she have always loved you, and I gave her false hopes. I've hurt Calvin because...”
Joy paused, and then looked up at Jiro. “Because all this time, I still love you...” she wanted to say. She stared at Jiro for a long time, wanting to say those words. But she couldn't for she knows it not yet the time for him to let him know what she feels inside. “You've hurt Calvin because...” Jiro asked. “B-because I tried to hurt Kit.” she lied. Jiro smiled at her, and then shook his head. “All of us made mistakes, Joy. I know I did. We did hurt a lot of people, we' hurt a lot of hearts. All that matters is we ask for forgiveness, and keep our words of not doing it again. If you think that breaking it off with Calvin would take away the guilt that you are feeling, then do it. I felt unburdened when I let Kit go, after all, I can't force her to love me back. I know what's inside her heart, and though she have first loved me, I know it will always be Calvin. I accepted that fact, and at least we saved our friendship.” he said. Joy smiled at him. “At least you got your closure...” she said. Jiro nodded his head. “It hurts, yes. It may be hard for a while, but eventually, you're gonna find the good in goodbye. I still believe everything happens for a reason.” he said.
Joy smiled at him, and then looked away from Jiro. “So, does that me that you and Celestine will get back together?” she asked. Jiro let out a nervous laugh and shook his head. “No way... our story have ended a long time ago. No need to bring up the past.” he said. Jiro looked at her, and saw the smile slowly disappearing from her face. “If there's one person I want to be back with... it would be you...” he thought. “So, you're saying you're ready to begin a new story with another girl?” she asked. Jiro nodded his head. “I'm ready whatever tomorrow brings.” he said. He smiled at her, and stared at her face. “I'm ready to begin a new story with you...” he said silently to her.
--
Calvin sat outside Kit's room, waiting. After a while, Mike came out of the room. “Hey...” he said. Calvin looked up at him, and let out a faint smile. “Hey you...” he said. Mike took a seat beside him. “Heard you're the one who's been staying by Kit's side all this time...” he said. Calvin nodded his head. “Heard you chose to turn Trixie in...” he said. Mike smiled and nodded his head. “Aren't you going to ask how she is?” Mike asked. “All I know is that she's rotting in that jail.” he said. Mike looked away from him, and sighed. He could not blame Calvin for being furious at Trixie, after all, she almost took Calvin's life and Kit's life. “I know what she did in unforgivable - in the eyes of the law and in the eyes of God. But I was still hoping you would be able to forgive Trixie after all the things she have done.” Mike said. Calvin shook his head. “I don't know, Mike... when I almost lost Kit, I know I will never forgive Trixie for what she have done. I could never give her the love she have wanted, but God knows I loved her before in the only way I know. Kit is my life now... and taking her away from me is like taking away the air that I breathe. If Trixie killed Kit, she have successfully killed me as well.” Calvin said. “I understand that...” Mike said.
He looked at Calvin, and then patted his shoulder. He stood up from his seat. “I have to go now, Calvin. Do take care of Kit.” he said. Calvin smiled at him and nodded his head. As he turned his back to leave, he paused. He turned to face him again. “I know this is hard, Calvin. I... I just want you to know... Trixie have been suffering for all the wrong things she have done. I have no right to ask you this, but please do visit her in jail. Talk to her... I know she have a lot of things to say to you. I know that she's regretting what she have done. Just talk to her... please...” he said. Then, he turned to leave him. Calvin stood up from his seat, and then went inside the room. He walked towards Kit's bed, and pulled a chair beside her. He stared at her face for a while, and then brushed his cheek. “Should I talk to Trixie?” he said in a low voice. Then, he took her hand, and placed it on his cheek. “She is the reason why you've became like this, Kit. If it wasn't for her, you should have known by now that I love you. We should have been happy together... maybe by now were on a date. If you are awake now, I will take you to our favorite place. I would have prepared a picnic by the beach, under the stars... maybe, by now, you're listening to me as I sing you your favorite song... but Trixie ruined everything for us. Now, you're there, sleeping forever, while here I am, waiting for you to wake up from your beautiful dream...” he said. Then, he smiled. “Silly me... I was thinking you are sleeping beauty, and you're just waiting for my kiss so that you'll wake up. I know it only happens in fairy tales... but it's worth a try...”
Then, Calvin leaned over her, and kissed Kit on her lips. “I'm thinking too much, I'm sorry Kit. It's just that... It's just that I missed you so much. I was hoping by some miracle, you would be able to wake up... I was hoping you would open those pretty eyes of yours, and smile at me, just like before.” he said to her. He felt a tear fall from his eyes. He wiped it, and then smiled faintly at her. “I love you, Kit. I love you so much... I miss you... sweet dreams...” he said. Then, he turned the lights off, and left the room. As soon as Calvin left, Kit slightly opened her eyes, but closed it again for her to slumber again. Her fingers slowly moved, and a tear fell from her eyes.
--
Joy was on her way to the hospital, when she passed by a flower shop. She smiled to herself as she looked at the flowers inside the shop. She found herself inside the shop, looking for a perfect flower to give to Kit. “I wonder what flowers she likes?” she asked herself. “Peach roses. Calvin told me she likes peach roses.” she heard someone say. She looked back, and saw Jiro standing behind her. She was startled to see him. “W-what... why are you here?” she asked. Jiro just laughed at her. “Did I scare you? I saw you on your way to the hospital, then you came inside this shop, so I followed you.” he said. Joy gave him a smile. “I had this thought of giving Kit flowers. Not that Calvin is not giving her any flowers...”
“Well, peach roses will do. She loves them.”
“I think I'll go get some for Kit, if you say that she likes them.”
Joy bought the flowers, and she and Jiro went on their way to the hospital. As they entered the room, they heard Calvin talking with Kit's father. “Tomorrow will be the hearing for Kit's case. Do you think you would be able to come?” They heard Mr. Jin asked. Joy took a peek, and saw Calvin nodded his head. “I... I can't face her yet. I don't know what I could do to her if I see her... but I have to... she have to pay for what she have done to Kit.” he said. “Then, you have to ready yourself. Tonight, Chun will be the one who'll look after Kit.”
“But what if she wakes up? I want to be the first person she'll see if she wakes up...”
“You heard what the doctor said before. She's still in a coma, and I don't think she'll wake up anytime soon.”
Calvin looked at Kit, and brushed away the hair from her face. “I hope she'll have her justice. I hope Trixie will rot in jail for the rest of her life...” he said. “She will. Your statement would put her in jail for a lifetime.” Mr. Jin said.
They saw Mr. Jin stood up from his seat. He went by the door, and as he saw Joy and Jiro, he smiled at them. Thank you for being here for my daughter.” he said. The two smiled at the elder man, and watched him as he left the room. “So, tomorrow's the first hearing of the case, huh?” Jiro said as he approached Calvin. Calvin looked up at him, and nodded his head. “Are you ready for tomorrow?” Joy asked as he placed the flowers on the vase beside Kit. “I guess so. I just don't know how I would react if I see her.” Calvin said. “You're still angry at her, huh?” Jiro said. “How can I not be angry at her. Look at what she did to Kit...” he said. Jiro looked at Kit, and then he sighed. “If Kit is awake, you know what she will ask you?” he said. Calvin just stared at him blankly. “If she is awake, she will tell you to forgive Trixie for what she have done. Even though Trixie did hurt Kit several times, in the end she have learned to forgive her... so that the two of them could move on. I know Kit have forgiven her, do you think it's about time the you let this go?” Jiro said. “She still have to pay for what she have done...” Calvin said. Joy nodded her head in agreement. “Yes, she still have. But after she did her time for the crime she made, you should forgive her in the end. Calvin, you can't always carry that grudge in your heart forever. Anger is what tore us all apart... it almost ruined our friendship. Jiro is right, you have to learn to let this go, and forgive her somehow.” Joy said. Calvin looked at her friends, and shook his head. “No...” he said in a firm tone. “I can never forgive Trixie.”
--
Trixie entered the court room, and she was led by the police at the left table in front of the judge. As she walked, she saw Calvin glaring at her in anger. She lowered her head to avoid his eyes. As she looked up, she saw Mike sitting at the bench right behind them. She walked over the chair, and took her seat. After a while, the judge came out. “All rise.” they heard the secretary say. Everyone stood up. The judge asked everyone to take their seat, while she any their lawyers remained standing. The secretary read her case, and after she's through, the judge looked at her. “Trixie Yan, how do you plead?” the judge asked. She looked at the judge for a long time, and then she closed her eyes. “Guilty.” she said.
Calvin looked around him, and saw everyone murmuring about Trixie. He never expected that Trixie would plead guilty. He looked up at her, and he saw the regret in her face. She did not looked as fabulous as before, as she only wore an old oversized shirt and baggy pants, and her face looked older. She have these black marks below her eyes, and he could tell that she's tired and was not able to sleep well the night before. “If Kit is awake, she would forgive Trixie for what she have done. I think it's about time that you let this go...” he remembered Jiro told him the day before. As he looked at her, he realized that Jiro is right. Trixie have been paying for the crime she have done. He bets her conscience wouldn't let her sleep at night. Somehow, he pitied Trixie. “I guess...” he thought. “I guess it's about time that I talk to Trixie.”
--
“Mike...” Calvin called as he walked outside the courtroom. As soon as the court hearing ended, he immediately rushed up to Mike. Mike paused, and looked at him. “Hey, Calvin.” he said. “Trixie... what happened to her?” he asked. “ After the crime, Mr. Yan disowned her. He didn't even dared to bail out Trixie... the lawyer she have now, it's my dads lawyer. I asked him to take her case.” he explained. Calvin could not believe what Mike told him. “Her dad disowned her?” he asked. Mike nodded his head. “She's all alone now, Calvin. She made a big mistake, and she's paying for it. I tried to be with her, but she always pushes me away. That's why I asked you to talk to her... just talk to her, Calvin. I'm not asking you to ask Kit's parents to drop the case or even forgive her, or take pity at her. She have a lot of things to say than those things she'll be saying inside the courtroom.” Mike said. Calvin was silent, and just looked at Mike. “I...” he said. “I will. I will talk to her.”
--
The next day, Calvin paid Trixie a visit at the jail. He was waiting for her at the waiting room, when finally, she came. She was handcuffed, and was escorted by two policewomen. “Yan, this is your visitor.” the policewoman said to her. Trixie was surprised to see Calvin. “Calvin...” she said in a low voice. Calvin stood up from his seat, and gave him a faint smile. “Hey...” he said. She walked towards Calvin, and then took a seat in front of him. “I did not expect you to be here. I... I know you're mad at me for... for almost killing Kit.” she said. Calvin remained silent, and just stared at her. Trixie could feel the tears starting to fall from her eyes. “I am mad, all right...” she heard him say. Trixie reached out for his hand, and held it. “I'm sorry...” she said as she began to sob. “I'm sorry... for everything... for trying to hurt you. I didn't mean to shoot Kit, Calvin... I didn't mean to...”
“That bullet was meant for me, but Kit chose to save me. You almost killed her, Trixie. I almost lost the girl I love...”
Trixie lowered her head as she listened to him speak. She felt even more guilty because of what he was saying. “She almost died that day, but she held on. She's fighting for her life now. She's just lying back there at the hospital, at her bed, almost lifeless... as if she's sleeping forever. We still don't know what will happen to her the moment she wakes up, and I know we still have to expect the worst. I don't know why you hated me so much, that you wanted to kill me... I can't understand. So, make me understand. Make me understand why Kit have to sacrifice her life for me...” he said. She looked up at him, and saw the anger in his eyes. If only his looks could kill, she could have died at that instant. “I'm so sorry... it's just that... I... I can't accept the fact that you could no longer love me. I thought it would be better if I kill you, so that no one could ever own you but me. I'm so sorry if I became too selfish... I only did those things because I love you so much...” she said. “If you love me, you wouldn't hurt the people I love...”
“I didn't mean to shot Kit. I swear...”
“If you really love me, Trixie... you will let me go and let me be happy with the one I truly love.”
Calvin lowered his head, and took his hand away from her. “Many times, you have hurt Kit. When the two of you fought, I sided with you, thinking she was the one who started the fight. I kept my distance from her to make you happy, and so not to make any more conflicts between the two of you. You hurt her when you lied to me about being the paper crane girl. You hurt her, even put her in danger by asking Mike to her. You hurt her when you cheated on me. You not only hurt her, but you also hurt me, Trixie. Many times, she have forgiven you silently for all the things you ave done. With what you have done -”
“I know... Kit could never forgive me...” Trixie said. She looked up at him, and saw him shook his head. “She have forgiven you, I know.” he said. “Kit has always been like that. She easily forgives, and easily forgets the wrong thing you have done to her. She believes everyone deserves a second chance. She gave you another chance before, when she forgave you for hating her.” Calvin said. This time, Calvin reached for her hand, and held it. “I hate you for what you have done, Trixie. But seeing you now, I know you have suffered for your crime. Like Kit, I should forgive you for everything. I don't want to carry any grudge in my heart... and besides, you will son have your punishment. That's enough for me. I forgive you, Trixie. I do...” he said.
Trixie's tears cascaded endlessly upon hearing his forgiveness. “Thank you, Calvin... thank you... you don't know how much this means to me...” she said as she cried. Calvin smiled at her. “It's enough for me that you admitted your mistake, that you pleaded guilty. You have paid for what you did, and you're continuing to suffer from it. This is the least thing I could do to unburden you, Trixie.” he said. Then, he stood up from his seat. As he turned to leave, Trixie called on him. “Calvin...” she said. Calvin paused and looked back at her. “Thank you for everything.” she said. Calvin just smiled at her, and nodded his head.
--
She sat at one corner of her cell. That night, she still could not sleep. Lately, she have been having nightmares about that night – the night she almost killed Kit. Her conscience has been bothering her, and although she have repented for her sins, she could feel that it wasn't enough. Calvin have forgiven her for her mistake, but she could not forgive herself for what she have done. “This should end...” she thought. She stood up from her corner, and then walked towards the table. She saw a glass on top of it. She took it, and broke it into pieces. She took the biggest piece of the shard, and then stared at it. “I'm sorry for everything...” she whispered. She closed her eyes as she placed the sharp side of the glass shard on her wrist. “Goodbye...” she whispered. With all her strength, she cut herself until she felt the soft velvety liquid ran through her arms. She opened her eyes, and then slowly fell on the ground. She looked at her wrist, and watched as the blood flowed out of her vein. She smiled to herself as her memories flashes back to her like a movie. “I hope you could forgive me for what I have done...” she whispered. She laid herself on the floor, and as she closed her eyes, she fell into a deep slumber, never to wake up ever again.
--
Calvin entered the hospital room, and found his friends inside. All of them where silent, not daring to say any word. “Why are you guys silent?” he asked. He walked over Kit's bed, and placed the peach roses on the table beside her. Chun looked at Danson, and Danson sighed as he looked away from him. Calvin looked at Danson, confused with the way he is acting. “Is there anything wrong?” he asked. Joy stood up from her seat and walked towards Calvin, and put her hand on his shoulder. “Calvin... Mike came here a while ago...” she began. Calvin looked at her, and saw the sadness in her eyes. “Mike? What happened?” he asked. “He came to give us a news... a very bad news...” Jiro said. Calvin looked at them with more confusion. He have no idea what's going on with them. “Why are you guys like that? Why are you all sad? Why are you all sulking, and what the hell is that bad news that Mike told you?” he asked in frustration.
Everyone fell silent again, and looked away from him. “What?” he asked again. “Calvin...” Danson said. “Mike... he came here to say that... Trixie... she... she's dead.” Calvin could not believe what he heard. He felt as if someone threw cold water at his back. He shivered at that thought, and he became pale. “Trixie?” he asked. All of them nodded their head. “She could not bear the guilt that she is feeling for what she have done to Kit.” Chun said. “So, she decided to take her own life...”
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