--

I walked through the empty hallway, 10 minutes before the bell rings. I stopped by his locker, like I usually do everyday. I stared into the blue paper crane in my hand, and then hang it on the locker's handle. I took the small not from my bag, and then inserted it inside the locker. Today is another day of me, telling him how much I love him. This is the only way I know that I could tell him how I feel for him. Loving him is forbidden, because I know that when he found out about this secret, it will ruin our friendship.

Sometimes I wonder, until when will I do this thing? Until when will I be in the shadow? Until when will I hide from a corner just to watch him lovingly? Each day that I'm with him, I just fall deeper and deeper. Loving him is the most painful thing that I have ever experienced in my entire life.. and if only someone could grant me one wish... I would wish for all this love to fade away.

--

The school bell rang, and as usual, Calvin rushed to his locker. And just like any other day, he found a paper crane on his locker. He immediately took it, and put it inside his bag. He opened his locker, and hurriedly took the books inside, not noticing that the small note fell on the ground. “Cal!” he head someone call. He looked back, and saw Danson walking towards him. Calvin smiled at him. “Hey...” he said. “By the way, have you finished the plates that we're suppose to pass next week?” he asked. Calvin shook his head as he took another book from his locker. “Will do it later.” he said. Danson found him weird. It's so unlikely of Calvin to not finish their project earlier than expected. “I'm sorry, but I assumed you already finished it. Anything wrong?” he asked. Calvin just smiled at him. “Let's just say I'm busy with other things... with a girl actually... and let's name this girl Joy Lin.” he said. Then he closed his locker.

As Danson looked down to the ground, he noticed a small yellow paper. He knelt down, and then took it. “Your smile is the reason why I fell in love with you...” he read silently. He know that the note came from Kit, the paper crane girl, and he was surprised that Calvin didn't even noticed that the note fell on the ground. He knows that he has been collecting the paper crane and the note that goes with it. “Hey Cal..” he said as he stood up. “You dropped this...” he said, handing him the note. Calvin just stared on the paper and shook his head. “I did it on purpose. I really don't like receiving notes from that girl anymore... whoever she is.” he said. Danson gave him a confused look. “So, you don't like this paper crane girl anymore?” he asked. Calvin nodded his head. “At first, I like the mystery and all, but as days passes by, I'm getting annoyed by it.”
“But I thought you said you think this girl is your soul mate because it seems like she knows how you feel?”
“Not anymore. Besides, there's Joy. I think she's the one for me.”
“So.. you don't want to find her anymore?”
“Not anymore.”

Danson watched Calvin as he turned his back to leave. He sighed, worrying about Kit. If she find out about this, he knows she will be heart broken. “Hey, Dan... are you coming? We're gonna be late.” he heard Calvin said. Danson nodded his head, and then followed Calvin to their class.

--

Kit was tapping the pencil she was holding on the table, as she tried to memorize everything on her notes. She have an upcoming test that afternoon, but she could not concentrate in studying. Nothing is coming inside her mind. She looked around, and she saw that everyone is talking in a loud voice. “Library is supposed to be a quiet place, right?” she thought. She reached for her bag, and then took our her mp3 player. She put the earphones on, and then she began to play her favorite song. She took her notes again, and began to read it, hoping she would be able to understand what's written on it.

“Kit...” she heard someone call despite that her mp3 has been turned to the loudest volume. She looked up, and saw Joy standing beside her. She was smiling at her, and Kit smiled back at her. “Hey...” she said weakly. Joy sat beside her. “Are you OK, Kit?” she asked. Kit just nodded her head as she looked away from her. Joy sighed as she watched her. For these past few?” Joy asked. Kit looked up at her again, giving her a confused look. “Why should I be mad at you?” she asked. “I... I don't know. You've been avoiding me lately... especially when you see me with Calvin. I was already thinking that you don't want to see me with Cal...” Joy said. Kit smiled and shook her head. “It's not that. Maybe I'm just too busy lately.” Kit said monotonously. “But you're not mad at me for always hanging out with Cal?”
“I don't have the reason to be mad. Besides, I know that he's already courting you. Just think of it as I'm giving you guys all the time in the world.”
“But it's really unusual of you... I mean, we always hang out all the time... but since that day -”
“I said I'm not mad, so stop it.” Kit snapped at her. Joy was surprised at the way that she reacted, and Kit was surprised as well at what she said. “I.... I'm sorry, Joy. It's just that I have this big test coming up, and I can't concentrate. I didn't mean to snap at you like that...” she said in a more calm tone. Joy just smiled and nodded her head. “I'm sorry too, Kit. Maybe it's really a bad time to talk to you... I'll just catch you some other time...” she said. Then, she held her hand. “It's just that there's a lot of things I want to tell you... that I could only tell you because you're a girl and you are Calvin's best friend... and most of all, because you are my closest friend.” she said.

Kit leaned to her chair, and then gave her a faint smile. “W-what is it that you want to talk about?” she asked. “Calvin...” Joy said. Kit looked at her. “W-what about him?” she asked. “Kit... Hannah asked you before at the beach house if there was a time when you have seen Calvin in a different light... as more than a friend. But instead of answering that, you chose do our dare. Kit... I want to know your answer. Was there a time that you have been in love with Calvin?” Joy asked. Kit was caught off-guard by her question. She doesn't know if Joy will understand if she tells her the truth, but she knows that her feelings right now is complicated, as complicated as her situation being in love with her best friend. “No.” she lied. “I could never fall in love with him. Besides, I know him too well. I know all the good and bad things about him, and knowing that, I don't think I could like someone like him.” she explained. As she looked at Joy, she saw her smiling at him. “I knew it. I know you're not in love with him...” she said. “W-why do you ask?” Kit asked. “I just want to make sure that you are not. It's just that...” Joy paused, and Kit could see that she is blushing. “I'll tell you but promise me you won't tell Calvin yet, OK?” Joy said. Kit slowly nodded her head. “It's just that... you see... I've always liked Calvin. And, before, I thought that he would court me, but he didn't. So, I was thinking maybe the reason why he didn't court me is because he likes you.” “
“C-calvin is really s-shy when it comes to you. But b-believe me. H-he likes you. Really really likes you...”
“I could feel that, Kit. As I get more closer to him, I'm starting to like him even more. When Jiro and I broke up, he was always there, cheering me up. It was because of him that I was able to move on. And...”

Joy looked up at her and smiled, but kit could only give her a confused look. “And?” Kit asked. She could feel her heart beating faster. She knows Joy will tell her something that she doesn't want to hear, something that she knows would only break her heart. “Calvin is really a nice guy, Kit. Any girl would be lucky to be his girl. I feel lucky because he likes me... so I decided to give Calvin a chance...” she finally said. Kit felt like someone hit a bomb at her upon hearing what Joy said. It's like she couldn't even breath, but she couldn't let Joy see that she is hurting because of what she said. “A-are you sure?” she asked. Joy nodded her head. “You and Jiro just broke up... and don't you think everyone will say that Calvin is just your rebound guy? I... I don't want to him to be hurt if you'll only give him a chance so that you could forget Jiro.” Kit said. Joy smiled and shook her head. “I'm really sure about this, Kit. I'm in love with Calvin. And you don't have to worry about a thing...” she said. She took Kit's hand, and then squeezed it. “I will take good care of Calvin.”

--

Maybe you're asking me how I felt when Joy told me that she is in love with my best friend. It felt like my heart was broken into a million pieces. I could hear it breaking. I could hear my silent cries. It seemed like my world halted in an instant, and that my body finally crashed onto the ground after falling from a deep abyss. I can't breath, and I wanted to cry out loud... but there's no reason to cry at all. He was never mine to start with. I am just his best friend, a best friend who fell in love with him.

There's no one to blame but myself...
Because, if I didn't chose to fall in love with him...
I would never this pain that I'm feeling right now...

--

The hallway was empty, and Jiro was walking. At the other side, he saw Joy walking towards the opposite direction. Joy paused, and then he looked up at her. He saw her turn her gaze away from her. “Joy...” he called. But Joy didn't speak. He sighed as he came to approach her. “How... how are you?” he asked. This time, Joy looked up at him and gave him a faint smile. “I... I'm OK.” she said. Jiro smiled and nodded his head. “I... I can see that...” he said. Joy turned away from him. Whenever she sees Jiro, she still feel hurt. Whenever she looks at him, there's a part of her that wants her back, but it would not be possible now. She knows that Jiro is still in love with Tin, There are times that she wants to take him back, if only he would ask her to. But two months have passed since that night when Jiro asked for space, so that he could forget about Tin. As much as she want to held on to his promise that he will come back for her as soon as he have forgotten the past, she could not wait for him anymore. She just have to accept the fact that his heart will always be for Tin.

“I... I have to go...” Joy said in a low voice. She looked down as she walked past him. But as she made another step away from him, Jiro held her hand. “Are... are you happy with him?” he asked, his voice cracking. Joy paused again, unable to answer his question. “I know... I know I have no right anymore to ask you... and you now have your freedom to choose who to love. I... I just want to know if... if you are happy with Calvin...” he said. It's not unknown to him that since they broke up, it was Calvin that has been staying by her side. And he also know that Calvin is now courting her. “H-he makes me happy. He always cheers me up. He has always been there by my side all throughout. D-does that a-answer your question?” Joy asked. She looked up at him, and saw him smiling. “Yes, and that's all that I need to hear...” he said in a low voice. Then, he leaned over her, and hug her for the last time. “I... I hope he could give you the love that I wasn't able to give you. I... I hope he could always make you smile, and take good care of you.” he whispered to her. As he released her from his embrace, he looked at her, and gave her a warm smile. “I wish you all the happiness, Joy.” he said. Then he turned his back, and walked away from her.

Joy could only watch as Jiro leaves her again. She could feel the tears coming out of her eyes again. “Please don't go...” she wanted to say. But Jiro have already made a decision to finally let her go. As Jiro turned his back to leave, the tears started to roll from his cheeks. He have never felt this much pain before. “I'm sorry, Joy...” he said. He still loves her, that's for sure... but someone else deserves her more than him. And he have to accept the fact that everything have finally ended.

--

Do you know what is the sound of the heart breaking?
Does it sound like a thousand nuclear bomb exploding through your brain?
Does it sound like a million cars crashing into a freeway?
Does it sound like a soft cry under the poruing rain?
Or of a soft feather falling from the Zen monastery?

--

“Kit!” she heard someone call her. Kit slowed down from walking, and saw Calvin running up to her. She just sighed as she went on her way. “Kit! Wait up!” she heard Calvin again. She paused as she waited for Calvin to catch up on her. “What do you want?” she asked in an annoyed tone. “Hey, what's wrong with you. Cheer up, OK?” he said as he smiled at her. He pinched her nose, but Kit just put his hand away. “I'm not in the mood.” she said to him. She turned her back on him as she walked. Calvin followed her, and as soon as he was able to catch up on her again, he put his arm around her. “How can I be in the mood if I failed my test?” she said. “Then, make it up on the next test. As for now, can you cheer up for me?” he said. She looked at him, and then sighed. “I'm just getting worried. I don't want to fail that class.” she said. “Aiyo, of course you won't! I know you, Kit. You can do it.” Calvin said. Kit looked at him, and then smiled at him. “OK, thanks for cheering me up, Mr. Chen. Now, can you tell me exactly what you want?” she asked. Calvin put his arm around her as they walked. “Can you help me? As in really help me?” he asked. Kit just gave him a smirk. “As if I don't always help you...” she muttered. “Aiyo... promise this will be the last I'll ask of you... for now.” he said. He raised his right hand as a sign of his promise.

Kit sighed again as she nodded her head. “OK. Tell me, what do you want me to do?” she asked. “Help me plan a perfect date with Joy this Saturday.” he said. Kit paused and then looked at him again. “W-why do you want me to plan your date with Joy?” she asked. “Because I want it to be special. I want it to be memorable for her... something that when she sees what I have prepared, she will give her answer to me.” he said. “You mean to say, you want that night to be the night that she will finally say that she loves you?” Kit asked again. Calvin nodded his head. “So, will you help me?” he asked. Kit turned away from him. Guess there's nothing for her to do but help his best friend with Joy. She knows that Calvin and Joy would finally get together, and though she's hurting because of that fact, she have to accept it. “Y-yes... I'll help you...” she answered. Calvin was very happy with what she said. He was too happy that he pulled her and gave her a big hug. “Thanks, Kit! You're the best!” he said as he released her.

--

“So, what is your ideal date?” Kit asked Calvin as they settled at their favorite spot at the cafe. Calvin just shrugged his shoulder. “I really don't know. I want something unique this time. Jiro have already done the candlelight dinner thing, so I wanted something extraordinary.” he said. “Well... that's the only thing I could think of right now. Candlelight dinner with someone playing the violin... then there would be fireworks after.” she said as she leaned to her chair. Calvin sighed as he leaned to his chair. He doesn't have any idea how to make their date really special, and he could see that Kit is also running out of ideas. “Kit... what's your ideal date?” he asked. Kit looked up at him, and then let out a faint chuckle. “Why are you asking me?” she asked. “Maybe I could get an idea if you tell me.” he said.

Kit sighed before she began to speak. “My ideal date?” she asked. Calvin smiled and nodded his head. “Actually, I'm not really into candlelit dinners or anything. I don't want anything extraordinary. Maybe we could have a picnic under the stars, and then he will serenade me... not with my favorite song, but with the song that tells exactly what he feels.” she said. As Calvin is listening to her, he was scratching his chin. An idea suddenly hit his head. “Hmmm... you gave me an idea there, Kit...” he said Kit gave him a confused look. “Is it OK if I borrow your idea of a perfect date? I think it's really great and sweet.” he said. Kit was taken aback by what he said. It is her idea of a perfect date, and Calvin was the one she could think of to make her ideal date more perfect, but what can she do now if Calvin wants to user her idea to woo Joy? “D-don't you think it's corny?” she asked. Calvin shook her head. “Well, it maybe common, but the idea is really sweet. It may not be as grand as what Jiro did on their anniversary, but for me, what matters most is to make that night memorable.” he said. Kit forced a smile at him as she nodded her head. “I-if you think i-it's a good idea, t-then you can do t-that. I-if you want, I... I can help you prepare for that night.” she said. Calvin's eyes what widened upon hearing what she said. “Really? You'll do that for me?” he asked as he held her hand. Kit swallowed hard as she slowly nodded her head. “I... I promised to help you, right?” she said in a low voice. He squeezed her hand as he looked up at her and smiled. He'll forever thank his best friend for helping him out. “Kit, thank you. You don't know how much this means to me...”

--

Saturday came, and I helped Calvin to prepare for his special night. I was there to cook their food. I was there when I helped him find the right suit for that night. I was there to help him pick up the perfect flowers and the perfect gift for Joy. I could see how happy he is as we worked for their date, and as much as it's breaking my heart, I have to be happy for him. I have to be happy despite the fact that another girl will be in my dream date.

When I see Calvin talk to Joy on the phone, I see him smiling. I have never seen him smile like this before. But knowing that another girl makes him smile like this, makes me feel sad. I wish I would be the reason why he smiles like this. I wish I could be his date tonight. I wish... I wish I could be the girl he is loving right now...

If I could be someone, I'd be her so that you'd love me too, Calvin...

--

Kit looked around the park to check if everything is in place. “Food, check. Wine, check. Blanket, check. Roses, check...” she said. She looked at the picnic blanket, and then she realized that it looked too plain. She took two red roses and two white roses from the basket, and then took all it's petals and laid it down the blanket. “Kit... everything OK?” she heard Calvin said. She looked up at him, and saw him rushing up to her. “Aiyo... don't be nervous. Everything's in place already. All we have to do is wait for Chun and Joy, OK?” she said as she stood up. Calvin looked down, and saw that Kit is right. Everything is perfect already. Then, he turned to her and smiled. “Kit, thank you for this.” he said. Kit smiled and nodded her head. “Of course. What are best friends for, but you still owe me one.” she said. Calvin nodded his head. “So, while you are waiting for your date tonight, I think I should go and hide somewhere.” she said. As she took a step, Calvin stopped her. “Wait, can't you stay?” he asked. Kit just laughed at him and shook her head. “If I stay here, it will ruin everything. Besides, Chun and I will be hiding at that corner.” she said, pointing at the other side. “Wei, can't you be a little nearer?” he asked. Kit shook her head. “You'll be fine, Cal. Don't worry about a thing.” she said as she taped his shoulder. “But... I'm really really nervous, Kit. Can you stay for a while, please?” he asked. Kit sighed and nodded her head.

She took Calvin's right hand, and then began to massage it. As she looked up at at him, she could see that he is more relaxed now. “You have to tell Joy about this... that if you are nervous, she should just massage your right hand.” she said. Calvin smiled and shook his head. “This...” he said. “will be something that only the two of us knows. You're the only one who knows how to calm me down when I am nervous, so let's leave it that way.” he said. Kit was touched by what he said. “Will you promise me...” she heard Calvin say. Kit looked up at him, wondering what it is that she should promise to him. “Will you promise me that if Danson will become your boyfriend, you will leave out something that only the two of us would know?”
“Like what?”
“I don't know. Maybe you can't let him know how you much you like it when I pinch your nose, or how much you wanted to be hugged when you're scared of thunder...”
Kit let out a faint smile and nodded her head. “I promise.” she said. Suddenly, she felt her phone vibrate. She took it from her pocket, and then saw Chun's name flashing on the screen. “That's my cue.” she said as she looked up at him. “Good luck. I'll just be hiding somewhere, watching you if Joy rejects your love or not.” she said. Calvin smiled and nodded his head. She have taken a few steps away from him, when she paused. She looked back at him, and then ran after him. As soon as she is near him, she hugged him tight. This might be the last time that she could hug Calvin like this, so better take this last chance. As she let him go, she smiled at him and then ran to the far side of the park.

--

As Joy walked through the park, she saw rose petals on the ground. She smiled as she looked at it, and then followed it's trail. As the petal trail ended, she looked up and saw Calvin standing before her, holding a guitar. He smiled at her, then he began to play the guitar, and sing a song.

I never had anything happen so fast
Took one look and I shatter like glass
I guess I let it show 'cause your smile told me you knew
That you're everything I ever wanted at once
There's no holding this heart when it knows what it wants
And I never wanted anything more than to love you

I was swept away
Nothing in this world but you and I
Gotta find a way to make you feel the way that I do
I was swept away
Without a warning
Like night when the morning begins the day
I was swept away

Joy could only smile as Calvin sings her a song. As soon as his song ended, she clapped her hands and walked towards him. “I love that song...” she said to him. Calvin smiled at her. “I'm glad that you like my song. I haven't got any practice at all...” he said, scratching his head. Joy just laughed at him. “It's OK, I like it anyway.” she said. “I just hope it's not just the song that you like...” Calvin said. Joy looked around the place, and realized how Calvin put so much effort to make their date perfect, and she was touched by this. “I like everything that you have prepared for tonight, Calvin...” she said as she turned to him. “Everything seems perfect...” she said in a low voice. Calvin walked towards her, and then held her arm. “You are perfect...” he whispered to her. Joy looked up at him, and he could feel her cheek turn rosy pink at what he said. “Joy Lin... I love you. I love you with all my heart. Will you give me a chance to prove it to you?” he finally asked. Joy looked into his eyes and smiled. Then, she nodded her head. “You don't have to prove anything because I love you too, Calvin Chen.” she said.

Calvin could not believe what he have heard. If he is dreaming, then he wouldn't what to wake up from this dream. He just heard the girl he loves tell him that she loves him too, and this made him the happiest and luckiest man in the world. “Y-y-you do?” he asked in a shocked tone. Joy nodded her head. “I do...” she said. “I'm not dreaming, am I?” he asked again. Joy shook her head. “So you really love me? You are my girlfriend now?” he asked again. Joy nodded her head. “Yes, I am your girlfriend now.” she said. Then, Calvin held her hand, and then hugged her tight. He never thought she could feel this warm, and that everything feels so right. Then, he looked at her, and then he leaned over her and gave her a long kiss on the lips.

--

At the other side of the park, Chun and Kit were watching the them. As Chun looked at Kit, he could see the tears running down her cheeks. He sighed, wishing there is something he could do for his friend. He could feel how hurt Kit is tonight, now that Calvin and Joy are finally together. “Kit... are you OK?” he asked. Kit looked up at him and tried to smile. “I'm going to be OK...” she said to him. Then, she turned her eyes to Calvin and Joy again. “I wish I was her... I wish I could be her...I wish I am Joy so that he would love me too...” she whispered. Chun put her arms around her, and consoled her. “But you have to accept this fact now. Calvin is already with Joy... and all you can do now is move on. Maybe it's about time that you give other people a chance to love you...” he said to her. Kit just nodded her head. “Maybe one day, I will soon forget all about this. I just hope it would be soon.” she said to him. Kit sighed and smiled at Chun. “I need to get out of here first...” she said. Chun just nodded his head. “I understand. Don't worry, I'll cover for you.” he said. Then she turned to walk away.

--

I have always wondered what is the sound of a heart breaking, then I realized that no one can hear it except you...

--

Taking a walk alone
On the road underneath the streetlight
The hands that I failed to hold tightly

Kit walked through the empty street. Through her skin, she could feel the coldness of the night. As she walked home, the lonely song played in her earphones.

Don't know how to describe
After being rejected by you
Makes me unsure of where to hide
I can't think of any excuses to make you stay...

She should have readied herself for another heartache, but she never thought this could hurt this much. She have finally lost the battle, and the only thing left to do is give up what was never hers from the start. He have to let Calvin be happy, even if that happiness means that she's not part of it. She knows how Calvin loved Joy, and she could tell that Joy loves him as well. She knows Joy wouldn't do anything to hurt him. Maybe it's about time for her to let go of her feelings for her best friend.

Telling me face to face
You don't love me anymore
The unfulfilled promises
Let me forget everything
And start afresh alone
How can you be calm
And not wait for me to turn back

The lonely song played on his car as he drove along the deserted street. Jiro sighed as he turned into the corner. His thoughts was filled with Joy again,and the fact that one day, she will become Calvin's girl. Maybe he deserves the pain that he is feeling right now, after all, he caused Joy too much heartache before. He wished that Calvin would take good care of Joy, and would not hurt her the way that he did. He looked at the pink shell necklace and then carefully touched it. “Tin... I'm sorry... I just realized that I love Joy more than anything else in this world...” she thought.

As he looked at the street, he saw someone walking towards his direction. Before he could hit the girl, he blew the horns at her. He immediately stepped on the breaks, so that he would not hit the girl. Meanwhile, Kit was in her deep thoughts that she did not notice the car approaching her. As she stopped, she felt relieved that the car stopped before it hit her. Jiro came out of the car, and surprised to see that it was Kit that he almost hit. “Kit... are you OK?” he asked. Kit nodded her head, although she was still in shock. “I'm OK... no harm done...” she said. “It's already late, what are you doing outside?” he asked. “I... I just helped a friend...” she answered. She looked up at him, and saw how worried he was. She did not even have the guts to tell Jiro that Calvin and Joy are together now, and she felt guilty for keeping it. She knows that Jiro will find out about it sooner or later. “Come on, I'll drive you home.” Jiro said. Kit nodded her head, and followed Jiro to his car. As he stepped inside, she noticed the pink shell necklace hanging by the mirror. “Jiro...” she said. “it seems that this necklace looks really familiar...” she said to her. Jiro looked at him and smiled. “A childhood friend gave it to me years ago, as a promise that we'll meet again at the beach...” he said. Kit stared at the necklace for a long time, and then it hit her. The necklace that Jiro have now... it was her necklace.

--

Sometimes, fate has a cruel way of putting things together. That night, I've lot the man I love to my closest friend. I experienced the most painful thing in life. And then, on that very same night, someone from my past came back - the man whom I was in love with when I was nine years old. Fate played a trick on me, as this man turned out to be Jiro – the guy who have loved my friend. I don't why God is doing this to me. All I know is that things are turning to be more complicated... and maybe this is just the start...