Even at that time it was already dawn, Hoya can’t close his eyes. Even how tired he was, he can’t sleep. The incident with Dongwoo few hours ago really killed him inside.

Why does Dongwoo acted like that?

Both of them put their desire to be a dancer. No matter what, their first priority goes to the family but above all, dance is still their number one.

Why all of the sudden, he wants to quit?

Hoya remembered what Dongwoo said to him, “You don’t know how heartbroken I am,”

Then, their fights keep playing on his mind.

Hoya still grabbed him by the collar. Surprisingly, Dongwoo didn’t flinch like what he used to do.

“There must be something!” Hoya half-screamed, preventing his voice wakes the others.

Dongwoo looked at him and spitted out the bloods. Indeed, Hoya’s punched was still stronger than his.

“I need to be responsible on everything onwards,” Dongwoo whispered.

“And I miss mum and dad,” he continued.

Hoya let him go. Dongwoo fell on the floor, and started to pant, let out each of every burden he felt now.

“There must be a reason,” Hoya sighed. Dongwoo wouldn’t be like this, even what happened to him. He will keep smiling even if Sungyeol had some complication with his health.

Dongwoo didn’t wait any longer. He grabbed his bike’s key and his phone, and went out. Hoya doesn’t want to know where he will go. He’s mad. He has no time to act like he’s care.

“Don’t miss me after this. Live well.”

That the last thing Dongwoo said before he closed the front door.

//

Woohyun went into the room. Sunggyu just woke up few hours ago. Woohyun just ignored him and walked to his wardrobe. He changed his clothes and grabbed his pillow and went outside. Once before he steps out, Sunggyu stopped him.

“Namu,” He called with a gentle voice.

To which Woohyun responded, “Stop calling me with that name,”

Sunggyu sighed. Woohyun was still cold to him.

“What’s wrong with us?” Sunggyu asked again.

“It’s not me, it’s you.”

“Well, you should tell me what’s wrong with me,”

Woohyun growled as a respond, “Figure it out yourself. Think how hurt you are when you’re being lie for the years!”

Now, Sunggyu knew why Woohyun was mad.

He knew it.

He knew about it already.

//

Sungyeol was waking up Myungsoo who was sleeping on the floor, crawling coldly besides the bed.

After few minutes, Myungsoo finally surrendered. He can’t stand when Sungyeol keep whining at his ears.

“Ah Hyung! What’s wrong with you!” He said angrily. He was greeted with a big grin from Sungyeol. Sungyeol ruffled his hair like usual.

“Don’t you remember?” Sungyeol asked, happily while ruffling his brother’s hair.

“What?” Myungsoo responded lazily. He does some stretches before he wanna go to the shower.

Sungyeol pouted, “Can’t you remember?”

Myungsoo looked at him weirdly. “It’s your dialysis again today?”

“Stupid,” Sungyeol hissed. He threw a pillow to his Myungsoo. “It’s our birthday today.”

Myungsoo paused. He turned and gave a big grin to Sungyeol. “Sorry, I forgot.”

“Pabo.” Sungyeol threw another pillow to Myungsoo.

They laughed.

“At last, I still can breathe on my birthday.”

“You will be. I promise.”

“Happy birthday Myungsoo,”

“Happy birthday hyung,”

//

Sunggyu saw Hoya was sleeping on the couch and decided to wake him up. Sunggyu shook him gently. He waited for few minutes and Hoya responded quickly. He slowly opened up his eyes and lends his back on the couch. Sunggyu did the same. Hoya knew it was Sunggyu who woke him up but he prefers to be silent now.

How he wish the person who waking him up this morning was Dongwoo.

He remembered something. Without saying anything, he left Sunggyu alone and went to the sink. He washed his face and brushed his teeth as fast as he could.

Sunggyu chased him down. He felt weird. “Do you need to go to work today?”

Hoya just nodded. He needs to get out as soon as possible.

“I thought we should have stay.” Sunggyu sighed. Hoya looked at him, confusingly.

“I have something to do.” Hoya said coldly. “I’ll be back, as fast as I can.”

“It’s the twin’s birthday today,”

“Then?”

“I’m just telling you.”

“Well, tell them happy birthday. I have something to find.”

Hoya grabbed his jacket and went out. Again, Sunggyu chased him. “Is your ‘something’ is really important than your brother’s birthday?”

Hoya turned and gave glares to Sunggyu. “You don’t know what’s going on.”

Then, Sunggyu helplessly watching Hoya went away with his bike.

//

Myungsoo heard it. Sungyeol too. They looked at each other.

They sighed.

Then, they gave a smile to each other.

“It’s okay! We still have Sungjong with us!” Sungyeol said happily. He wanted to keep positive today as much as he can.

“Doesn’t he go to school today?” Myungsoo inquired.

“How about you?” Sungyeol asked him back.

Then, Myungsoo grinned. “Stupid handsome boy,” Sungyeol said.

Both of them when to Sungjong’s room and they saw the maknae was on his study table, listening to music and wrote something. They asked him to join them which he wanted it and start to dress up.

“But wait!” Sungjong said when both of them wanted to go outside, to dress themselves up.

“Take this,” Sungjong gave them a box. “Happy birthday hyungs!” he said.

“Thank you lemon candy!” Both of them tossed Sungjong up in the air.

//

Sunggyu already holding the present but the twin’s wasn’t there. He searched for them everywhere, but they weren’t to be found.

At last, he just put the present on the twins’ bed.

Happy birthday kids.

//

Hoya searched for him everywhere. Every inch of Seoul he discovered. Where the hell is he? Hoya didn’t surrender. He went to the places that Dongwoo might go to.

Still. Nobody saw him.

At last, Hoya and his bike were ended up at Hongdae, the place where both of them and their crew loved to do dance performances together. Hoya was lost. Dongwoo didn’t pick up the calls yet he wasn’t to be found. Nowhere.

There must be something. Dongwoo would never cry and thought to quit dancing.

If it has something to do with, it is.

What was it? Hoya didn’t get to sleep up until 5 in the morning. He may slept properly at 6. He thinks about it for the whole night.

What was it?

He looked up at the sky. The sun didn’t come out. That day was gloomy. It wasn’t like going to rain.

It just today Seoul didn’t smile. That’s it.

He was bored waiting alone. So he decided to go to one of the stores there and buy something for the twins. Because of this, he forgot about the twin’s birthday.

‘Mum, dad. Sungyeol did survive on his birthday today. What should I do about Dongwoo?’ he thought, while watching the gloomy grey sky.

//

 “It’s like today’s gonna rain.” Sungjong sighed.

 “Well, we should go outdoors. That’s it.” Sungyeol said.

“You shouldn’t move too much,” Myungsoo interrupted.

Three of them were at the subway station. They didn’t decide where to go. Sungjong and Myungsoo just followed. Sungyeol, who takes the lead, was lost in the middle to go to the location.

“Should we watch movie?” Sungjong gave an idea. Since it’s gonna rain sooner, it would be perfect if they just stay inside.

“Okay. Should we go to 63 building?” Sungyeol asked. Myungsoo nodded.

Three of them started to take the subway that goes to 63 building. Sungyeol was happy all the way. He kept singing some songs followed by Sungjong. Both of them were singing along. Myungsoo just be at the back, smiling happily while watching both of them were so happy that day.

Sungjong stopped suddenly when he realized his shoe knot were loose. He told them to go first, leaving him behind. Sungyeol went in front while Myungsoo still remain at the back. But both of them walked together when they were about to walked down the stairs.

“We should wait,” Both of them paused besides the stairs. Sungjong still at the back. Both of them stand besides the stairs. They waited for few seconds.

But when Sungjong started to walk to them, they heard someone screamed for help. Myungsoo looked around. He can’t see what was happening until…

He saw Sungyeol helplessly fell at the stairs. Sungjong can’t say any.

Sungyeol just fell, with bloods everywhere.

The subway was filled with people screamed.

//

Hoya went to the studio when he had searching for Dongwoo all over Seoul. He just hopes, Dongwoo would be there or just be there.

He put his bag at the usual dance room. There still few people, and he wanted to go to the toilet before he started to practice again.

Later on, Hoya was getting ready to join the others. The concert was around the corner. They need to do well in order to make the artist that they will perform with satisfied with their work.

And somebody needs to fill up Dongwoo’s empty spot.

“Xuan!” The choreographer called the tall Chinese guy to fill up the space. They began. Hoya danced for several songs for an hour. He was tired but the tired went away when he kept on thinking about Dongwoo.

“Take 5!” The choreographer shouted and ended the dance session. Hoya tiredly went to the corner to drink and to check his phone silently. The others just do the same. But some of them prefer to stay in group and having a simple chat.

Just then, Hoya saw Kicheol went in. He just doesn’t care about it. Kicheol seems to find someone until he was approach with one of the dancer, “Where’s Hoya?” He asked. Then the boy just pointed Hoya to him. To which Kicheol ran to him as respond. Hoya was startled when he was greeted that way.

“You need to go now!”

Hoya pulled off his earphone, “What’s wrong?”

“Dongwoo.”

Just by hearing that name, Hoya paused. He hold Kicheol’s collar. “What happened?”

Kicheol swallowing down his saliva bitterly, “You should go to the hospital now.”

He didn’t wait. All of them who were in the room just watched. Hoya ran quickly to his bike without turning back.

I knew it.

I knew something bad will happen.

//

Myungsoo helplessly sitting on the floor. Sunggyu had asked him several times to sit on the chair but he refused. Woohyun were at the other side, trying to comfort Sungjong who was crying heavily.

Sungyeol was still inside. They still didn’t get the news. Woohyun had call Hoya and Dongwoo several times but both of them didn’t pick it up.

Sunggyu helplessly went to the end of the corridor. H can’t stand to hear Sungjong’s longing. He wanted to cry to but he refused. How come he had cried when the maknae were crying?

“Sunggyu-ssi.” Sunggyu turned when he heard somebody called his name.

“Ah, Doctor Kim,” He bowed. Suho was standing behind him while giving a smile.

“Am I disturbing you?” He said calmly. He wanted to be calm, as calm as he can when he was facing Sunggyu.

“I need to wait for Sungyeol.”

“You should come with me,” Suho said suddenly. Sunggyu gave a look. “Why should I? Is it something happen?”

“Your brother, Dongwoo.”

And at that time, Sunggyu helplessly fell on the ground.

//

Minho came out of the emergency room. He could see his sister were there, sitting besides Woohyun while rubbing her red nose. He didn’t have time to say something to them as he dashed to the emergency room to find Suho.

Woohyun wanted to chase him, but when he saw Minho ran as fast as light, he just forgets it. He looked around and he couldn’t find where Sunggyu was.

//

Hoya ran and cursed to the people who blocked his way. He doesn’t care. With tears on his eyes, people could tell how miserable he is.

Once he arrived at the emergency room, he dashed in and find Dongwoo. He saw Sunggyu were standing in a group of people. He knew Dongwoo was there. With heavy steps, he walked towards them.

Sunggyu glanced as he heard Hoya’s footsteps. He saw Hoya’s tears and he knew how heartbroken he is. “Just wait. He’s gonna survive soon.”

Hoya just can’t stand watching Dongwoo’s body was covered with bloods. He wanted to scream.

He wasn’t supposed to do that yesterday. If he hasn’t, things won’t turn out like this.

All he heard was the doctors shouted something he doesn’t know. But he knew those doctor was trying to help Dongwoo.

“His pulse was weak! Try again!”

“Prepare for the ECT!”

“Quickly! The patient’s heartbeat were getting slower!”

Hoya can’t stand anymore. Dongwoo was dying there and he can’t do anything. He fell on the floor but Sunggyu managed to catch him. Hoya screamed, at last. He screamed, he cried in Sunggyu’s arm. He just doesn’t care what people think about him anymore.

Few minutes later, Suho came to them. Hoya can’t hear the shouting anymore. What happened? Is there’s anything good?

“I’m sorry,” Suho said. “We can’t help. His brain didn’t respond to us,”

Hoya seems to lose his sane. He got up and grabbed Suho’s collar. “You should save him!”

Suho hold Hoya’s arm and smile, “I’m sorry. Treating me like this won’t wake Dongwoo up again,”

Hoya let him go.

He’s right.

Sunggyu cried, at last.

Minho came to them, “We will use Dongwoo’s kidney and replace both of them to Sungyeol. Please, get your signature down.”

Sunggyu looked up. “Wait. I’m the one who should donor it.”

“I’m sorry, Gyu. Dongwoo had changed your name to his. I can’t help. I’m sorry.”

“How can he?”

“Please, do it now. I’ll tell you later.”

Hesitated, Sunggyu went to the counter to get down his signature. He still can’t believe it.

//

Hoya sat in front of the hospital’s mortuary. He didn’t join the others. Sunggyu went to them to tell the news. He prefers to stay here, and wait for Dongwoo’s body to come out.

“Mr. Howon,” Someone called him. It was the nurse he saw at the emergency room. He gave Hoya’s Dongwoo’s belonging and left him. Seems she knew it was the time when she needs to give Hoya some space.

It was Dongwoo’s favorite backpack and his jacket. Hoya smelled it. It doesn’t have Dongwoo’s scent anymore since it was covered with bloods. Hoya sadly put it aside. When he wanted to see what’s inside the bag, a pieces of paper dropped down to the floor.

Hoya nervously took it an opened it.

It was Dongwoo’s handwriting.

To my dearest Infinite brothers,

First and foremost,

I’m a bad hyung. I admitted it. For years, I made somebody else took care of the responsibility that I should handle. I’m bad, I know. I’m sorry for being so bad to you guys.

And, I have already made up my mind. I’m gonna take the responsibility from Sunggyu. He shouldn’t handle you guys again, since I’m the one who supposed to get a major headache to protect you guys. He needs rest. So we need to let him be.

I’m gonna quit dancing. I’m gonna find proper job. Sungyeol is gonna live for 40 years more, and to the infinity. I’m gonna make it, as I’ve promise.

To Sunggyu,

You’re being too nice. I’m not gonna treat you as a stranger when I knew who you are. You still my brother, no matter what. I should be the one who make money for my brothers. But thank you, your hard works really makes me feel so bad.

To Hoya,

When you asked me why I quit dancing, I don’t know what to say to you actually. When I say to Mithra hyung I wanna quit, he said okay. Don’t blame him. I’m the one who make that decision. I’m gonna make money. Sungyeol needs to be protect. You need my protection too. Hoaegi, I know you’re mad. I know.

And I’m sorry.

Woohyun-ah,

You don’t have to be mad to Sunggyu anymore. I know you’re hurt but you didn’t tell me about it. It wasn’t Sunggyu’s fault. He just wanted to protect us.

I don’t know what to say anymore. But if one day I go first before you, or before Sunggyu, take my words; don’t blame him because of this. He didn’t deserve this.

Be the brother’s mummy. No one can replace omma like you do.

Sungyeol-ah, Myungsoo-ah,

Happy birthday twins. You still survived on your 19^th birthday. I’m proud of you guys. Sungyeol-ah, what should I give you? Myungsoo wanted a new bike so bad but I couldn’t afford it. I just said to him to take my bike. How about you?

I know.

You need kidneys right? Take mine. Don’t blame yourself one day you wake up and use my kidneys. Just live with it. It’s yours. It’s a gift from me.

Really. I meant it.

Myungsoo-ah,

Take care of Sungyeol. Please, for my sake, for his sake and for everyone’s sake.

Sungjong-ah,

I knew you’re easy to cry on something. If I go before you, don’t come to my funeral. I warn you. Don’t you cry in front of my coffin, you should stay at home more. I miss to eat lemon candy with you.

Ah, I’ve secretly bought many lemon candies. Searched it in my closet. It’s all yours.

And everyone,

Keep on living because my soul wouldn’t leave you guys behind.

And I’m sorry.

Again, Hoya can’t help himself.

He cried, once again.