58.
I Still Love You
He got up to leave. He opened the door and Minhyun was there. They were just staring at each other. Somehow I felt this is bad. I have a really bad feeling about this.
*FLASHBACK*
I saw him, he was kissing another girl. Tears ran down my face, and I ran. I sat under a tree near the soccer field, and cried there. I hid my face, so no one would see. I heard someone coming. I didn't care, so I didn't look up.
"Minah," he said. It was Minhyun. I didn't want to look up. So he called my name again,"Minah."
I looked up, tears running down my face. "What do you want?"
"Minah. What's wrong? Why are you crying?" he asked, kneeling next to me. I just kept crying.
"Go away," I said. He grabbed my hand, and I moved it away. I wrapped by arms around my knees.
"What's wrong?" he asked, again.
"I saw you kissing another girl!" I cried.
"I..." he began.
"You know what?" I said. I continued crying,"We should break up. You don't even love me."
"Minah. No, please," he said.
"No. We're through now leave me alone," I said.
"Minah," he begged.
"Just leave me alone!" I yelled. "just leave. Please."
"I'm sorry," he said. After 5 minutes of kneeling next to me, he left.
We walked back to class quietly. I knew Insoo didn't like Minhyun's presence, and I didn't either. Minhyun was getting too close to me that I tripped because of my feet. I hit the ground hard. Minhyun and Insoo kneeled down to see if I was okay. I scraped my knees a bit.
"Are you okay?" they both asked. They stared at each other then looked at me.
"Yeah," I mumbled.
"Your knee is bleeding. How are you okay?" Minhyun raised his voice at me. I sort of widened my eyes. He never raised his voice.
"It's nothing," I said.
"I'll take you to the nurse," Minhyun said.
"No, I will," Insoo said. Then they started arguing.
"Stop! I'll go by myself," I said.
"I want to talk to you and I won't stop bothering you until you do," he said. I sighed.
"Insoo, go to class. I'll be there soon," I said.
"Okay, noona," he said, sadly. Then he left.
"Here. I'll carry you," Minhyun said. He was trying to carry me, but I pushed him away.
"No I can walk," I said. But he picked me up either way. When we got to the nurse's room, he gently set me on the bed. We had to wait for the nurse who should be coming back from lunch soon.
"I told you I could walk," I said.
"And I told you I want to talk, but we don't listen to each other," he said. You glared at him.
"Why are you bothering me so much? Why do you care about me? You don't even love me. If you'd leave me alone none of this would have happened," I said.
"Don't say that. I do care about you. I don't want to leave you alone. I love you," he said, looking into you eyes.
"No, you don't. If it wasn't for you bothering me and Insoo, I'd be in class all happy," I said.
"Happy? How? Seeing you cry when you see me?" he asked. I looked away.
"Just go back to class. I don't need you," I said.
"Not until we talk," he said," meet me after school near the soccer field in that one bench. Please."
"Fine," you sighed,"it's the last time you can give me an explanation."
"Thank you," he said. He came closer to me and gave me a hug, and kissed my cheek.
"Ewww. Get away from me," I said.
"You know you want more," he winked.
"You are so nasty," you punched him in the shoulder.
"Oh!" he said. Then the nurse came in. She stared at us weird, then got over it.
"Who's the hurt one?" she asked.
"Me," I raised my hand, and pointed at my knee.
"Okay, I'll have to disinfect it with alcohol," she said. The got a cotton ball and put alcohol on it. Minhyun was holding my hand. She started applying the alcohol. I squeezed him hand tightly. I let go of his hand and the nurse put a band aid on it.
"There all done," she said.
"Thank you," I said. She nodded, and gave us a note letting them now we were in the nurse's office. We walked back to class. On our way, Minhyun kept trying to hold my hand, but I kept moving it away.
"Don't forget," he smiled. He opened the door for me. He came behind me We gave our note to Mr. Kim. He nodded and we went back to our seat. Class went by quickly, the bell rang and everyone was out of the class. Suki, Yuri, and I were still packing up.
"Let's go, unnie," Yuri said, heading out of class. I finished packing up.
"Uhhh... I'll stay at school for a bit. Here's the key," I said, handing the key to Yuri.
"Okay," Suki said. They were going home and I had to stay here.
I didn't see Minhyun after the bell rang maybe he was already near the field. I walked to the field and sat on the bench. He wasn't there yet. I waited 10, 20, 30, 40, and then 50 minutes. Maybe he had to do something. He really wanted to talk to me, so he'll be back right? I started doing my homework. I didn't have a lot, I finished it in class. Soon it became 3 hours that I've been waiting there. I decided to wait one more hour, but he still wasn't here. This was the last time, and he wasn't here? I started to cry. I got up slowly and walked home.
I looked up, it was Minhyun, he looked at me with worried eyes.
"I'm sorry," he said, giving me some tissue. Then he walked away. There was a note there. I got up."don't follow me. Just stay where you are."
"Minhyun," I whispered.
"I'm sorry," he repeated, and left. I wiped my tears and looked at the note.
The note said From, Minhyun. I opened it and it said:
I'm sorry, Minah. Someday... I will be able to tell you everything. Just not now. It's not a good time to talk about it. I'm going to miss you a lot. Don't forget I love you. Hopefully, one day, we will see each other again. Maybe you will be able to understand. I'll make you proud that once you knew me. Please don't ever forget me. I love you. Goodbye.
Love, Minhyun
Wait! What? We won't see each other anymore? Where is he going? He needs to explain to me! Just once! He can't leave like this. I fell from where I was standing. I cried, this time louder. I hid the note in my skirt pocket. He can't leave me! Not like this...
It's been a month since Minhyun left. It was hard for me and it still is. I can tell I changed a lot. I'm more quiet. I spend my time reading books in my room. I eat less. Suki and Yuri were probably tired dealing with me. I know I'm not the same, but maybe I can change back with time. Insoo was probably tired of me too. They're always try to get me out of the house, but it never works out. My appearance changed too. My hair was longer, I was skinnier, and looked paler.
Today is just another day. Going to school, back home, eat a bit, do homework, read, and fall asleep. My daily routine. Suki and Yuri left early this morning. They needed help with the math homework so they went early.
I got out of the apartment. I walked slowly. It was sort of cold, I think they said it was going to rain. Insoo was supposed to walk me to school, but he wasn't here yet. Whatever. I was looking down most of them time. When I looked up there was one guy staring at me. He didn't take his eyes off of me. Our eyes met, but he looked away. He looked familiar then I realized it was Minhyun. My eyes widened. He smiled a bit. I was walking to him, but he walked ahead of me.
"Wait!" I yelled. He just kept walking."Minhyun!" I looked at my phone. I turned my phone off. Insoo might call.
He just kept walking. I decided to follow him. He was a couple yards away from me. He walked faster. Soon I began to run. He stopped outside of a cafe. I began to walk again. I was panting. I'm too weak to run now. It began to rain. I walked slowly. I didn't care if I got wet. We quickly grabbed my wrist and pulled me near him, so I wouldn't get wet under his umbrella. I hugged him tightly, and began to cry.
"Don't cry," he said, softly.
"I've missed you so much," I said. I let go of him.
"Let's go inside, and get something, okay?" he said. I nodded,"what do you want?"
"Tea would be fine," I said. He ordered quickly, and I went to sit outside. Soon he joined me.
"Minah, you look so different. You've changed a lot," he said.
"Uh... yeah. I guess," I said. He frowned.
"You're not the Minah I fell in love with," he said. I nodded slowly,"I only have a bit of time, Minah. Sorry."
"Huh? Why?" I asked.
"I'll tell you soon," he said. I nodded. Then he pointed to some guys inside the cafe. There were 4 guys. They waved."they waved to you not to me."
"Really?" I asked. He nodded. Then I waved to them. They all smiled. They looked like little kids. Cute.
"I tell them about you, Minah. I missed you so much. I really wanted to see you," he began,"I never meant to hurt you or make you cry. About Eunji, I'll tell you, but not now. I won't be at school anymore. You'll know when the time is right."
"But you hang out with them?" I asked. He could hear jealousy in my tone. He chuckled.
"Minah, you'll find out soon," he said, smiling. The waiter came and brought us our drinks. I smiled at him and he smiled back. Minhyun was staring at us,"Minah."
"What?" I said. Then the waiter left.
"You're making me jealous," he smiled. My cheeks felt warm. I was blushing.
"I..." I began. I didn't know what else to say.
"Minah, this was the soonest. I could see you. I won't be able to tell you everything, but we will see each other again," he smiled,"I'll have to leave soon, but I never meant to kiss Eunji. She just kissed me. I can't give you a full explanation now, but I will soon."
"But why?" I asked.
"You'll find out," he said.
"I'm so stupid," I said. I started crying, and hitting my head,"stupid, stupid, stupid."
"Minah," he hugged me,"stop it. You can't do this to yourself."
"I'm just so stupid," I said. Then one of his friends approached us.
"Minhyun, we have to leave," he said. Minhyun nodded. Minhyun left go of me. I drank all my tea.
"Okay, hyung," Minhyun said. The guy smiled at me and left.
"Minhyun," I said. We stood up. He hugged me tightly, and I hugged him back.
"Minah. I love you," he said,"I love you so much. Don't ever forget that, okay?"
"I won't," I said,"but don't leave me, please."
"I wish I could. I'm going to miss you so much. I love you," he said. He stared at my face, he looked into my eyes. He kissed me. Even though it was just a peck on the lips, it was still a kiss. He let go of me."bye, Minah."
"Bye, Minhyun," I said. Tears started falling down my face. I walked out of the cafe behind me. I kept sniffling. We were walking the opposite ways.
"Minah, don't do this to me. It breaks my heart," I heard him say.
I walked in the rain. I cried as I walked. My heart felt pain. I don't want to go to school. It wasn't too late, but I just don't want to go. I turned my phone on. I texted Insoo that I wasn't going to school because I wasn't feeling well. He replied that he forgot to pick me up. I just told him it's okay. I continued to walk in the rain. I made my way to my apartment. When I got there, I changed clothes and ate a bit. I laid on the couched thinking about Minhyun. I fell asleep soon.
I was going to go outside to feel the wind in my face, but someone stopped me. I didn't want to see. Then I was twirled around. I was looking at Hwang Minhyun. The Hwang Minhyun who broke my heart. He smiled. What does he want? Then he pulled me into a hugged. What is he doing? I didn't even try to push him away. I sort of like this.
"I missed you so much, Minah," he said.
"I didn't..." I lightly pushed him.
"I know you did," he smiled.
"That's what you think," I said.
"Okay then," he playfully said.
What is wrong with him? I quickly went outside and finally felt the wind in my face. It felt nice. I leaned back on a banister and closed my eyes. I felt a hand touch mine. I looked to see who it was. It was Minhyun. Again.
"Come on. I know you missed me. Even a little bit," he said. I didn't want to admit it.
"If you don't admit it. I'll hug you!" he smiled.
"Yes, I did miss you," I mumbled.
"See," he said.
We were now holding hands. I felt butterflies and my cheeks turn red. This is awkward... Then he pulled me. Where are were going? I can't just leave!
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"Surprise," he smiled.
He pulled me. I tried to stop him, but I couldn't. Soon we ended being outside of the Empire State Building. I don't want to be with him!
"What is wrong with you?" I asked.
"I just want to spend time with you," he said.
"Well I don't," I said,"you're a jerk! I broke up with you. Why is it that you won't leave me alone?"
"Because I love you and I missed you," he said. I sighed. These words... They mean so much. I felt a warm feeling inside me.
"I missed you too," I hugged him. He hugged me back.
"Now let's go," he pulled me.
"Where are we going though?" I asked.
"I told you a surprise," he smiled.
"Fine. Don't tell me," I said.
"You'll find out," he said. I pouted.
We walked around the streets and went into a Korean restaurant. We sat in an empty table for 2. He handed me a menu. I don't eat like before. I remember after school we would go out to eat after school and we would each so much. I chuckled. I'll get kimbap.
"What will you get?" he asked.
"Just kimbap," I gave him the menu.
"What?!? Are you kidding me. We would stuff ourselves with food," he said.
"Well, I don't do that anymore," I stated.
"Come on. In the inside you do," he smiled.
"Are you ready to order?" the ahjumma said.
"Yes, we are. We'll get bulgogi, galbi, kimbap, and bibimbap," Minhyun said.
"It will be ready soon," the ahjumma said.
"Okay," we said.
"That isn't even half of what we used to eat," Minhyun chuckled.
"Yeah," I tried to hide my smile.
We ate quietly. When we were done, Minhyun paid. If I were to say something we'd end up fighting. I don't want that now. Now that he's beside me. I smiled. Then my phone started ringing. Minhyun looked at me. Then his phone started ringing too. We looked at each other.
"Let it finish ringing then we'll turn it around," he said.
"Wait what?" I said,"I am not going back to the hotel?"
"No. We haven't been to the real surprise," he said. I sighed.
"Okay," I said.
Our phones finished ringing and we turned it off. Minhyun called a taxi and we ended up near the docks. Where are we going? He pulled me into a line. We waited for 20 minutes. Then we went on a boat.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"To... um... Ellis Island and where that big statue is," he said.
"The Statue of Liberty?" I asked.
"Yeah," he nodded.
We linked arms and went to the top part of the boat. It was really cold. I hugged him tightly. We sometimes would get our faces wet since the waves were big. I laid my head on his shoulder the whole time until we got to Ellis Island. We walked around hand in hand. Sometimes we took pictures. For like an hour we did that. Then we went on the boat again. This time we stayed inside since I was too cold and my nose was red. We sat on a bench. I felt sleepy, so I rested my head on his shoulder again. He woke up up when we got to Liberty Island.
"Let's go take pictures!" he said.
He pulled me to go in the shop. It was warm there compared to outside. We walked around and stopped at the shirt section. He was looking at a blue shirt with the statue of liberty and another one that was pink. He looked at me and smiled. He looked at me with 'please' eyes. I knew what he was trying to say.
"Come on," he said.
"But," I began.
"No buts. This is for us," he smiled.
We waited in the line. We finally got attended. Minhyun put the two shirts on the counter. The lady smiled at us and scanned it.
"You two look so cute together," she said. In English of course.
"Thanks," I smiled.
She gave us a bag with the shirts. Wait! Ugh. I said. I would forget him... but I can't today. This day can go well. Maybe for the last time? We went outside and took pictures of the Statue of Liberty then together. Then after 30 minutes we went back to the boat. We were going back to the docks. I will be leaving soon. Lucky, I had my things packed the day before. When we got to the docks, we called a taxi to go back to the hotel.
"I'll be leaving soon," I said,"back to Korea."
"Sadly, I won't be seeing you after this. It was a good thing I found out you were here," he said. I nodded.
We got out of the taxi. He helped me get out. Then suddenly he hugged me tightly. I felt this warm, nice feeling. I hugged him back. Tears escaped my eyes once again. I always cry for this pabo... I will really miss him. Even when I say I won't.
"Please don't cry," he said,"when you cry. I feel you tensed up. Please don't."
"Pabo, I'm going to miss you," I said.
"You'll see me in the future," he said. I nodded. We pulled away from our hug. He gave me the bag with the pink shirt.
"I should go," I said.
"Bye," he said.
I left and went to my room. Suki and Yuri were sitting there worried. When I walked in they had a 'what a relief' face.
"Where were you, unnie?" Yuri asked.
"I walked around for a while," I said.
"Well, we better go," Suki said. I'm pretty sure she knew.
"Wait, unnie, what's that?" Yuri asked.
"Oh this?" I held up the bag. She nodded. I prepared a lie,"I saw a cute shirt and bought it."
"Oh cool," she said.
I quickly put the bag in the suitcase then noticed something else in the bag. It was a necklace with clock in a heart-shaped form.
I felt something weird in my heart. It was nice of him. I quickly put it in my pocket and put the bag in my suitcase. We walked out of the room. We gave the key back in the front desk. I quickly put the necklace on. We took a taxi to the airport. We quickly got on our flight. I decided to fall asleep. What a nice surprise.
"Just stop it, okay?" I said,"I know now. I was with Minhyun..."
"Its all a lie, Minah," Insoo said.
"Lie?" Minhyun said.
"Lie?" I then said,"just stop it."
"STOP NOW!" Yuri screamed at them,"Minah, is here, so stop it."
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