12
Voice of my Heart
Your clothes were in Myungsoo’s dryer. You were wearing what you knew was Myungsoo’s favorite plaid shirt and a pair of his sweats. Everything was big on you, but you didn’t care. You swallowed the pills he gave you and chased them with water, checking for phone for any replies from Woohyun.
“Can... Can I use your laptop?” you asked tentatively as Myungsoo started to clear some space away on the floor so he could roll out a thin mattress to sleep on so you could have the bed.
“Yeah. Go ahead. My password hasn’t changed.”
You chuckled quietly as you typed in his password and rolled your eyes. “Are you ever going to stop using this password?”
“What’s wrong with tunaf1sh?”
“Nothing, I just... tunaf1sh...” you said to yourself before pulling up Facebook and typing in your email and password. Then you froze.
Myungsoo finished clearing a space and sighed, turning his head towards you to see you with a look of horror, shock, and disbelief on your face. He frowned and made his way over to you and stared at the screen.
There were several pictures on your news feed with Woohyun tagged in them, drink in his hand, arm around another girl’s waist. Your fingers automatically moved to scroll down, and saw Woohyun kissing her, hands firmly grabbing her .
You glanced at the comments and saw things like “so you finally ditched the good girl? she was boring anyway” and “yea~ getchu some woohyun!”
“Isn’t that Krystal?” Myungsoo asked. Your throat was too dry to answer him. The comments about how stupid, dumb, and gullible you were took away your ability to speak. Tears were spilling from your eyes before you even realized.
Myungsoo closed the browser and turned off his laptop, placing it on his desk before returning to you and wiping away your tears with his thumbs.
“I’m so stupid,” you whispered.
“You’re not stupid,” Myungsoo said, sitting down beside you on the bed. “You were just a little misguided, that’s all.”
“It’s just... It’s just. I saw the signs. I thought he was cheating on me, but I didn’t- I didn’t want to b-b-be that crazy, possessive girlfriend so I just ignored it and- and-” Sobs wracked your body, and you couldn’t speak anymore.
Myungsoo grabbed your arms and pulled you onto his lap, letting you lean your head against his chest as you cried. He rubbed your back soothingly, whispering things like “you’re not dumb,” “you’re not stupid,” “he didn’t deserve you,” and “I’m going to rip his balls off.” The last one comforted you a little bit, but then you were overwhelmed with a heavy sense of guilt.
All of your old friends were probably gone by now, but Myungsoo was still there. He was still taking care of you and comforting you, despite how much you’d neglected him the past few months. It made you cry even harder.
“Oh god, Myungsoo. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.” You kept apologizing to him, unable to say anything else. Myungsoo knew what you were apologizing for, and he couldn’t be mad at you. He just couldn’t.
“It’s okay. I understand. Just stop crying. He doesn’t deserve your tears,” Myungsoo murmured into your hair. He held you until you fell asleep in his arms, completely exhausted.
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