Mina’s question the other night affected me more than I’d like. I mean who asks a question like that and then gets up casually asking if I wanted to eat a late dinner? If it was Momo, Nayeon, or Jihyo I would have pestered them until they tell me what’s up, but I can’t with Mina, not because I can’t but because I could and whatever her answer is, it scares me..She and I are more alike than I thought.

“You have been zoned out for a bit there…everything okay?” Mina asks while the two of us stroll around the Brera district after an early dinner. It’s our 4th day in Milan and we were supposed to be on a flight back to New York but last night, Mina suddenly asked if I wanted to stay for 2 more days. The request was random and I don’t know if she’ll keep catching me off guard like that, but again I couldn't say no to her.

“Yeah..just tired. How was the conference?”

“It was interesting, they discussed a very interesting surgical procedure for people with malformed ventricles, also this..” Mina goes on a long tangent of all the cases and procedures that she learned about today.

“You must really like medicine.” I interrupt while she tells me about this biomarker being used to research certain GI issues.

“I..” Mina chuckles awkwardly, “Did I talk too much?” She scratches the back of her neck nervously.

“Well considering that you rarely say anything at all, hearing you speak so much is a nice change, even more because you look so passionate while doing it.” I smile at her.

“So I’ve been told..” She hums, her eyes looking up at the sky, “It’ll rain soon,” She notes and I look up to see that the once clear night sky is now covered by a blanket of grey clouds, “We should head back to the hotel.” Mina pulls her phone out to message our driver.

“Mina.” I stopped her from walking.

“Hmm?” She looks back at me.

“Never mind…it’s nothing, let’s just go.” I shake my head, walking ahead of her.

“It can’t be nothing. What is it?” She tugs at my hand, holding it lightly, “Are you okay?” Her eyes look into mine and we both take a moment, trying to read each other’s deepest thoughts, but our relationship hasn’t reached that point..so all we see are the walls we’ve put up to protect ourselves from whatever it is we’re trying not to feel.

“I’m fine…” I blink a few times, “Let’s talk about this some other time okay?” I squeeze her hand lightly and she nods. This is what I like about Mina..we both understand not to push things. To keep our friendship at the surface level.

“Ciao.” An elderly Italian woman with a basket full of flowers comes up to Mina and I.

“Ciao.”

“Tourists?”

“Si.”

“Ahh very beautiful couple.” She smiles, handing Mina and I a single stemmed rose each, “Enjoy Milano.” She waves at us.

“That was odd.” I note and Mina nods, “Here.” She holds out her rose for me to take.

“You don’t like roses?” I ask and she shakes her head no, “Then?”

“I love receiving roses but I also feel sad.” Mina says, pulling her hand back and twirling the rose between her fingers.

“Why?”

“Because in order for me to be given something so beautiful, it had to be killed.”

“Eh?”

“When you take a rose from its garden, it dies. The vase we put it in just gives it a few more moments of life, but it’ll wilt in a few days.”

“Oh..yeah that’s true.” I look at my own rose, a sudden feeling of sadness overtaking me.

“Yeah, maybe that’s why roses symbolise love...because in order to give something so beautiful like love to another..sometimes you have to sacrifice something in return.”

“Like what?”

“Yourself.”

~ ~

“Hey Satang! How’s the extended trip with the doc?” Momo asks, answering my call.

“Momo..can I ask you something serious?”

“About? Wait..isn’t it like 2am over there? What are you doing up?” I can hear the frown in Momo’s voice.

“I couldn’t sleep.” I look out the window of our hotel room, the rain’s gotten harder since we got back.

“Is that related to the something serious you want to ask me?”

“It is.”

“Okay shoot.”

“It’s about Mina…on the outside she seems okay not as closed off, like yes she’s quiet but still approachable…like when we had lunch with Nayeon and Jihyo, she got along fine with them even though they all just met once before..but then there’s like these moments where I catch a glimpse of the Mina that’s hurting be it a momentary break in her mask or from the things she says…and we don’t have any mutual friends for me to ask, except for you and I..”

“Sana? Is that you?” I hear Mina’s voice, “What are you doing up?” She asks, making her way towards the living area.

“Momoring, I'll call you later..bye.” I hung up before Momo could get a word out, “I could ask you the same thing. Want some tea?” I get up from the couch heading towards the kitchenette of the penthouse suite.

“I can do it..do you want a refill?” Mina motions towards the mug in my hands, “Sure.” I smile, handing her my empty mug.

“Is this going to be our thing?” Mina asks, as she pours hot water into our mugs, placing a bag of tea in each, “What thing?” I ask, grabbing my mug, following Mina back to the couch.

“Where we both let our masks down a bit when it rains.”

“I don’t know, is it?”

“Are you ever going to answer any of my questions without aversion or diversion?” Mina asks with a small smile.

“Again, I could ask you the same thing.” I reply and we laugh together softly, “My Obaa-san really liked cloudy days.” Mina begins, “Everytime the clouds would roll in, she would smile so widely..and so one day I asked her why.” She looks out at the rain and this was my sign that Mina wasn’t ready to open up to me…and honestly, I’m not ready either.

“Mina-chan, let’s stay out here in the garden for a moment longer.” Mina’s grandmother smiles as a 15 year old Mina nods, “Obaa-san can I ask you something?”

“Of course, you can ask me anything.”

“Why do you like grey clouds so much? You know it means it’ll rain right?”

“Because Mina-chan,” the older woman smiles softly at her granddaughter, “Once it rains, I’m reminded to let go of all the little things that were weighing me down or making me sad.”

“Your grandmother sounds very wise.”

“She is..she knows too much actually.” She chuckles and through this story I collect another piece of the puzzle that is Myoui Mina.

“How is she?” I ask. I’ve only ever met Mina’s grandmother twice. Once at the engagement party and again at the wedding. She’s a very sweet woman who deeply cares for her family.

“Her healths been up and down, but for the most part she’s okay. Keeps pestering me to visit with you.”

“We should visit soon then.”

“Hmm.” Mina hums and a silence falls over us, a comfortable one.

“I don’t like it when it rains or when it’s cloudy..” I suddenly speak up.

“Why?”

“Maybe I was influenced by fiction, but it’s just like you said..grey clouds always lead to rain..and well for me it became like a representation of a moment right before you feel that sadness.”

~ ~ ~ ~

There was a shift in our dynamic after the Milan trip, in a sense of a mutual understanding between Mina and I. After that rainy evening, it was clear that we both shouldn’t ask anymore questions regarding the reasons for our fake smiles. We can literally talk about anything and everything, opening up to each other just a bit more, but still keeping a distance..it sounds confusing, but it works for us.

Nayeon was here at the hospital..she came to see Mina.

I frown after reading Momo’s text.

Mina? Not you?

She came to me looking for Mina and when we found her she gave Mina that look.

What look?

The one Nayeon has when she figures something out.

And what exactly did she figure out?

Idk they went inside Mina’s office and I got paged to the ED.

Okay.

That’s it?

What do you want me to say?

Idk..shouldn’t you be concerned? You know how Nayeon gets, she had her lawyer face on.

Whatever it is….just let it be.

I don’t know Satang..my guts telling me there’s something and Nayeon’s scary when in lawyer mode.

I’ll talk to Mina later.

Alrighty…I’ll try to corner the bunny.

“Why the long sigh?” I look up to see Jihyo standing at my door, “When did you get here?”

“Mmm about 2 minutes ago, you were engrossed wi