“Would you stop that?” Sana turns to me, half angry and half annoyed.

“Stop what? I’m not even doing anything?” I put my phone down, smiling.

“You are Mitang.” She says pointedly, crossing her arms. God would she just stop calling me that? I..can only handle so much?

“Tell me what it is then?” I challenge her, taking a step inside her personal bubble.

“Those photos. I know they came out bad, so delete them.” She huffs, puffing her cheeks out. And if it was anyone else who did that I would have been annoyed, probably outright cringed, but it’s Sana and the universe knows how weak I am when it comes to her.

“I won’t delete them, besides you don’t look ugly in them.” I reassure her, because really she should know by now that I’ll only ever find her breathtakingly beautiful.

“Let me see then?” Sana closes the distance between us and I feel my knees weaken at how close she is to me, her soft light jasmine scent engulfs me making my entire being relax. Can I stay here forever?

“Nope.” I pull my hand away before she can grab my phone, “Ahhh~ Mitang~~” she whines like a child and I almost cave. Almost.

“I won’t let you delete these. They’re precious.” I say and my honesty must have shocked her because her eyes widened ever so slightly.

“Mina.” She calls me by my name and I know that I crossed that line again.

“I’m sorry…I..I’ll get rid of them.” I clench my fist.

“It’s fine.” Sana sighs, looking around the empty streets of Tokyo, trying to avoid looking at me.

“Sa…”

“Babe!” A voice calls out to Sana and I straighten up, taking a few steps away from her, back to my rightful place.

“There you two are! We’ve all been looking for you.” Momo smiles at us, her hand automatically finding Sana’s, “You guys good to go?”

“Yeah we’re good. Right Mitang?” Sana looks at me, her eyes pleading and I swallow, “Yeah..”

I follow the two back, with Sana glancing back at me every now and then, checking to see if I’m still here and really I wish she’d stop that too.

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5” I count and when they make the right turn going towards the hotel, I stop. Counting down from 10, because before whenever I disappeared, she would always come back to find me…but now..

“5,4,3,2…” I pause hoping that things really haven’t changed, “1, 0.” But once again I’m proven wrong. And just like that damn Ed Sheeran song..everything has changed…everything but my love for her.

~ ~ ~ ~

“Mitang, jeez where were you?” Sana runs back to Mina, who was distracted by the single flower growing by the sidewalk.

“Oh..I was just admiring this flower.” Mina smiles at her best friend.

“The only flower you should be admiring is right here.” Sana points to herself causing the 13 year old Mina to laugh out loud.

“Stop being silly, Satang.” Mina laughs.

“Are you saying I’m not as pretty as that flower?”

“No, but you shouldn’t compare yourself to this flower.”

“Why?”

“Because…there’s a lot of flowers out there, but there’s only one Minatozaki Sana in this world.” Mina replies nonchalantly.

~

“10, 9..”

“Mina hurry up!” Sana runs back to Mina right when she started her countdown.

“Sorry.. I got distracted.” Mina lies, she wasn’t distracted..she just wanted to see if her theory was correct.

“I know that.” Sana takes Mina’s hand this time, “Which is why I told you to hold my hand.”

“I’m a big girl now Satang..you don’t have to keep checking up on me, I won’t disappear.” Mina laughs, but Sana remained stoic, “I know you won’t..but I still need to make sure…”
 

“Okay..I promise from now on..I’ll always hold your hand.”

~

“Wait wait.”

“Hmm?” Sana looks at Mina, who suddenly grabbed her elbow. Wordlessly, Mina bent down in front of Sana, gently tying her untied shoelaces.

“I’ll tie them for you, before you fall for anyone else.” Mina says, getting up with a smile on her face.

“Ahh Mitang that’s a foul!” Sana huffs, stomping her feet cutely.

“What? I didn’t do anything?” Mina chuckles.

“Stop being so sweet Mitang..I can’t be falling for you even more than I already have.”

“Then I most definitely won’t stop being sweet so you’ll always be falling for me.”

~

“Who was that?” Sana goes up to Mina, hooking an arm around Mina’s waist.

“Hey Hon what’s up.” Mina smiles at her girl, “You finish class for the day?”

“I did..now who’s the blonde.” Sana gestures towards the tall blonde girl who was being way too close to her Mina, laughing and smiling..even playfully touching her Mina.

“You mean Chaeyoung?”

“That’s not Chaeyoung..she’s not that tall or blonde.” Sana deadpans.

“Wrong one Hon, that’s Park Chaeyoung.”

“The Aussie?”

“Yes.”

“And how do you suddenly know Park Chaeyoung?”

“She’s studying Japanese right now and I was the assigned tutor.”

“Hmmm..” Sana hums.

“And whatever you’re thinking right now..it’s not what it is.” Mina chuckles, pinching Sana’s nose.

“Ahhh I’m not even thinking about anything.” Sana says with a nasally voice.

“Right right..sure.”

“I’m really not.”

“As long as I live and breathe Sana, I won’t let your hand go. Now, we better go..I think the others are already waiting for us at Jeong’s place.” Mina suddenly turned serious making her girlfriend all flustered.

~

“We? Who’s we?”

“You, me, Momo, the others.” Sana elaborates, eyeing Mina who’s been very different since Momo joined their friend group.

“I kinda just thought it was just going to be you and Momo. It was you two who really wanted to go to the beach in the first place.” Mina shrugs, her attention going back to the cup of tea in front of her. Momo is a transferee from Japan and being Japanese themselves, Mina and Sana took it upon themselves to try and make the transition easier for the new girl. With Sana being the more extroverted one out of the two, she would often be the one inviting Momo out or just hanging out with her. Of course Mina didn’t mind, not being the jealous type at all..but well..some thing’s changed and Mina noticed..and noticing things made it harder for not to mind the two hanging out together all the time.

“Okay this jealousy thing isn’t cute anymore..what’s going on with you Mina?” Sana asks her girlfriend, concerned by how distant Mina’s been lately. At first the jealousy thing was cute, especially because Mina never got jealous and was always understanding, so Sana found it even more adorable to see a pouty Mina…but now it’s starting to drive her away and Sana didn’t really like that.

“No it’s not.” Mina agrees, hating herself for being so jealous when she knows how Sana is..but that’s the point: She knows how Sana is.

“So tell me what’s going on with you?”

“It’s nothing..never mind..we can do this later.” Mina shakes her head, giving her girlfriend a small smile and Sana’s heart broke at how sad Mina’s smile looked.

“Eh? Why? Something’s obviously up and..” Sana trails off, finding it weird that she can’t read this Mina in front of her, “You’re being really weird right now Mina you know that?”

“I just..” Mina looks down at her cup of tea. Fighting with her heart and mind.

“Can you just tell me? What’s going on? You're starting to worry me here. Why can’t you tell me? We tell each other everything.” Sana reaches for Mina’s hand, only for the other girl to pull both of her hands away, resting them on her lap. Sana of course notices, but she stays quiet, not wanting to push Mina away anymore than she has.

“Alright..well there’s just this way you talk about Momo. A way you look at her..a way you are when you’re with her.” Mina says, mind made up, while looking right into Sana’s eyes.

“I..” Sana begins but her words die out and Mina, although she saw this coming, although she thought she could brace the impact, felt her heart break even more than it already has, “Sana you’re my best friend. And I’m not going to tell you to stop feeling something…but I just can’t watch you feel it anymore.” She says softly, grabbing her bag to leave.

“Mina wait.” Sana rushes after the girl, her mind catching up to what was finally happening, “Are you seriously breaking up with me?” She calls out, confused..they were fine right? Things were fine..so now what’s this?

“Honestly Sana..I think we already did, but we were just the last ones to know.” Mina replies, not looking back because they were each other’s weaknesses..Mina knew Sana would try to find a compromise, to try and make things work..but Mina knows Sana the best, like how the other girl knows her the best..and it would be too selfish of her to hold onto someone who wishes to hold onto someone else and it would kill her to be the cause of Sana’s sadness.

~

“There you are.” Sana sits next to me on the balcony of my hotel room, “I was looking for you.” She leans her head on my shoulder and if it was before I would wrap an arm around her shoulder, but things have changed.

“Here I am.” I nod, “Need something?” I try to keep the air between us light. It's been 4 years since the breakup and I had hoped it would be okay..that I was okay..but I guess I still have moments where I slip up. Where my own truth would show itself.

“Mina about earlier…” She lifts her head up from my shoulder.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that.” I turn to look at her, “We agreed right? To be friends…I mean we were best friends before anything else.”

“Right.” Sana nods and I feel her stare on me, but of course I choose to ignore it. Instead, I let the silence engulf us, letting it seep it’s way into the cracks that I thought I’ve sealed up.

“You better head back to your room..” I speak up, before I end up wanting to stay in silence forever, because only in silence can I still think she’s mine, “It’s getting late.” I offer her a small smile.

“I know it hasn’t been easy for you Mina…but don’t think that it’s been easy for me either.”

“Sana please..” I sigh, running a hand through my hair, “We’ve been over this.”

~ ~

“Mitang we need to talk.” Sana barges into Min