NO ONE'S POV

It's been hours since Jeongyeon was pushed inside the operating room. Mina's been sitting still for quite some time, holding to the notebook her daughter handed. She's been thinking about it for a while now, the last thing she wants is Jeongyeon saying goodbye to her, so if this is what she thinks it is, then opening it would be a bad idea but part of her wants to see what the girl has put on her worn-out notebook.

And in the moment of disarray, Mina hears a familiar melody lingering in her ear and heart. It's the same strains of melodies she used to hear across her room back when she was just 7, the same melodies that always calmed her. With every familiar note she hears her mind slowly starts to clear.

With fears still consuming her, Mina slowly open the notebook a USB fell from it and on the first page reads,

"OUR ENDLESS PLAYLIST"

It was scribbled but the writing was familiar, Mina knows it. She has seen this a million times, it's Jeongyeon handwriting back when they were younger and in the lowest part of the first pages was a note saying,

"To my forever favorite, a gift from the past. I love you." - Jeongyeon

What's there to lose? Mina carefully navigates to the notebook the first few pages were just a bunch of notes she doesn't understand and what came after caught her attention.

TRACK 1

At first, the moment I met you. The memory that I was getting out of breath, for fear that you might hear me. For the fear I'm discovered, I was anxious, I remembered that.

TRACK 2

It's been a long time since you laughed I think I'm forgetting your voice. Now I know what time heals all wounds mean, It hurts but now I can talk about you...

TRACK 3

I longed for you without anyone knowing, If I cried out loud, Would I have forgotten you a little more now?

TRACK 4

So many times have passed. I really want to know how you're doing, to the people who worry about me, I lie that I removed everything about you, it's a day I hate myself too much...

TRACK 5

Even if you meet someone new and erase our love. I hope only the happy memories remain and you forget me slowly.

TRACK 6

Things I tried to forget, words I have forgotten, things I thought were useless, there were so many of them.

TRACK 7

I realized just then, I can no longer move forth. Every step bring me closer to our breakup, your hand I used to hold seems to vanish.

TRACK 8

Every day, my time with you isn't enough. I was sad again today so I hid my heart. Stay with me a little more, I wanted to say but couldn't.

TRACK 9

I'm in the jolting subway car to go to the alley. How many things we've lost touch with while living our lives.

TRACK 10

I thought it would be easy until I faced you. It was different from my heart, why am I so painful?

And judging by how it was written Mina knows its lyrics to songs that sound familiar but she couldn't point out, yet. Aside from the scribbled handwriting and the messy pages what caught her attention more are the paragraphs that have been underlined. Mina continues to read them.

TRACK 11

I was searching for the things that never changed. I will never forget how you were on that day. These feelings I have to transcend time, I just want to meet you now.

TRACK 12

Because my lips froze up, I couldn't tell you the words.

TRACK 13

Looking at your back that won't come back. I still couldn't say that I love you.

TRACK 14

Those anxious days where I couldn't say I love you, did you know about them?

TRACK 15

Days I've dreamed of, spread before my eyes. As I look at your brightness my days are comforted.

TRACK 16

I couldn't say it, because you weren't here (I love you) Words I want to tell you whenever I see you, you mean so much to me.

TRACK 17

Someday, like the moment that felt eternity. Come to me like a coincidence, stay with me for always, just like this, come to me like destiny and stay with me.

TRACK 18

In the end, my love is you. A love I wanted so desperately. I want to stand next to you like this and love you.

TRACK 19

The stars in the night sky have shined, you were beautiful by my side. In your clear eyes that look at me, I am smiling.

TRACK 20

You're so beautiful when you smile, so whenever I see you've lost your smile. I want to give it back to you, whatever it takes.

The deeper she goes the more the songs become familiar, as if she can hear them. Every page brings her back to a certain point in time.

It was a time machine.

TRACK 21

If you see my heart and find your way to me. I want to give you all my heart if you can stay by my side forever.

TRACK 22

In the song that's playing on the radio, on the streets we always walked on together. I hear you, I see you, I wait for you. Don't you know how I am? Do you think of me? I, I, I like you, why don't you feel the same way? Without me, without me, don't be well. Be happy, be well, I don't like those words. I don't think I can ever see you again, this is like the last goodbye. Don't be happy.

TRACK 23

On rainy days we lay silently in our room. When I face your closed eyes, everything becomes ours. Even when you come running to me with a pale face, even when you say something cheeky and surprise me. You are my everything.

TRACK 24

When I sit by the window during sunset and look at the faraway clouds floating. I draw memories that I want to find in the sky.

TRACK 25;OCTOBER 20,2015

If I sing, will yesterday come back? I missed so many days. Shinning far away then fading away. You're like a little star.

Unlike the others, TRACK 25 has a date on it, Mio's birthday. A few sketches of autumn scenery, Mina thinks this notebook consists of Jeongyeon's favorite songs. Maybe songs that remind the taller girl of her and Mio.

TRACK 26

Yesterday, I hated myself for not being able to forget you. But now, I've come to realize, that I was yours all along. I will give my everything to you for coming back. We will be together now and forever, and never apart.

TRACK 27

There's only one thing I can't do, that is to leave you while still in love with you.

TRACK 28

Loving someone with all your heart, how can you do that? It's really not easy for me. Just like you did back then, I want that kind of love.

TRACK 29

I knew I'd love you from the day we first met. Even if you falter as our love fades with time, I'll be your anchor just like you were to me.

TRACK 30

Out of everything that breathes, I only wanna remember you. Only feel you, only care for you. I wanna place you close to me.

TRACK 31

I'm just saying this out of guilt, for making things hard for you, for making you live in tears. But for me, I can't live outside of you..

TRACK 32

I want to go to you, into your arms. I want to stay in a world that is you. I owe you, I miss you, I need you, I love you. Forever in your arms.

TRACK 33

I wanted to tell you, I wanted to call out to you. But I always swallow them and repeat them over and over, the words of my heart. No matter how much I shout out, I guess you can't hear it. Every day only in the inside, only with my eyes, I had to tell you my words of love for you..

TRACK 34

The season that you grew up in, seemed to not overflow with sad songs. I wanted to tell you one final thing, I searched words to take the place of goodbye.

TRACK 35

As much as you were lonely, I hope you find someone who will love you more than you love yourself. I'm sorry it wasn't me, it's not easy to give my heart to you.

TRACK 36

I'm blaming myself and laughing at myself, becoming more and more miserable without you, I'm so pitiful. I really want you but I can't wish for you anymore. In front of these countless emotions, what must I do?

TRACK 37

Maybe this season remembers you, we broke-up this time of the year. Why do I feel like I lost the words? As I look back. I can live thinking it was an ordinary breakup. Did you forget about me, before you knew it, like me? We loved each other a lot. Our ardent love, now I think we're like strangers.

TRACK 38

On my way to say goodbye to you, the weather was so bright. On my way to leave you without any notice. You may suffer a lot from this sudden breakup, I'm sorry. With the lie I'll never be in love again, I'm leaving you when you're crying. Now, let's say Goodbye. Just hate me.

TRACK 39

I want to hear your voice, you just came to my mind. Actually I'm doing well, I hate me a lot too. Your voice I wanted to hear it now, so I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being mean, I'm sorry for giving you a hard time but I miss you.

TRACK 40

If you come back, my childish and stupid habits I'll break them all. This is my first love, so I hurt you.

-

Still uncertain of why a bunch of songs is written on Jeongyeon's worn-out notebook, Mina flipped to the next page. The first line brought tears to her eyes.

"Michan, I wrote 40 songs for you."

She couldn't believe what she's reading, it's impossible. She thought Jeongyeon must playing some kind of joke on her to calm her.

"I wrote 40 songs for you and who would've thought you'll find them even though I didn't send them? No more secrets, right? Would you believe me if I told you I'm Danbi?"

Mina knew exactly who Danbi is, she's the mysterious composer she loved ever since she was in college. Danbi's songs are like food to her broken heart back then, like medicine to the unbearable pain she was trying to forget and if Jeongyeon is saying the truth, this explains everything, the car, the black card, etc.

"I bet you don't know what Danbi means..... I thought you've improved your hangul, it means "Long-awaited rain." Because I have always longed for the rain just like that perfect autumn day where we shared our first kiss. Mina, each one of them represents my days without you, days where I just sit down and question myself where are you. It may sound silly but the younger me thought of writing your songs and naming this notebook "Endless playlist" to be fair I always thought I'll live a short life, so I thought I should do something with it. I planned to write songs until I'm gone and send this to you after but we all know the plan has changed. So instead of sending this to you, I want you to have it now. Each one of them has either my regrets, happy memories we shared, and wishful thinking.

In short, these are letters that I failed to send you."

Mina has to pause for a while, the tears in her eyes are making it hard for her to read through Jeongyeon's letter. She took a couple of deep breathes and continued,

"I always remember when we're younger, instead of playing you'll ask me to play the piano for you. Somehow sitting with you on that wooden bench felt like I was in heaven, it was also the reason why I started loving music, why it felt like it was the only freedom I have. I used to wish that time would stop right there until I met Mio. Whenever I sit with her, whenever we sing songs for you, it makes me think that heaven could be a place on earth. Track 25 was written for Mio, it's my first birthday gift to her, I wouldn't know she was born until I saw you two in the mall. The girls told me Mio was born on an autumn night. October 20, 2015, 13 days before my birthday. Looking back I realized that girl is the one who brings the widest smile on your face, Mina I'm happy you and Mio found each other.

So instead of saying goodbye, I want you to know I'll be back. Not next time or next life. I'll come back to you as soon as I open my eyes. This time, I'm not gonna make you wait nor look for me. I'll be running to you instead of running away from you. No more drama, I wouldn't want to wake up seeing how puffy those beautiful eyes are.

And as a last gift from this broken heart, I wrote a song that would also signify the start of our forever. Me, you, and Mio. I love you, Mina."

Mina flipped the page and saw lyrics she doesn't recognize at all, among the others Track 41 is the only one that has a title on it.

TRACK 41; ME AFTER YOU

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(A/N) It didn't hit in one chapter, as expected haha. That's the last secret this story has, again I don't owe any videos and of course it was really written by Jeongyeon, it's all a made up story. Give love to the original composer and singers 💚💚💚💚💚