CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN

The Grand Duke of the Night Kingdom's Point of View

My mind has been filled with the thoughts of Naeun since the day I sent her back in the Winter Court. Although it was hard to let her go back, I did it because I knew that I could make her happy by doing so.

I am aware that Naeun doesn't like the mating bond and I cannot deny the fact that I don't stand a chance with the Winter Lord since he is my mate's true love. So here I am, filling my guts with faerie wine and I have been doing this for two weeks in a row now. There were times that Onew, Key and Sehun would join me with my non-stop drinking but most of the time, I'm chugging several bottles on my own.

Yet being drunk didn't gave me the satisfaction of forgetting my mate at least temporarily, she's like a tattoo, and she's sticking inside my brain permanently. But I am a little confused. If she truly dislike that we are mates, then why did she even bothering to connect herself through our mental bond?

It happened on the same day of her return on the Winter Court. I thought I must have only dreaming but her voice was clear as if she's talking right just beside me and by the time that I gave her my response, I felt the relief through her which gave me a conclusion that she's been trying to get in touch with me for several times already. Honestly, I am itching to get inside her mind for me to see the things that could end my confusion but I keep preventing myself since I know she wouldn't like it and it might cause her to hate me more. But does she? 

I no longer want to bother her anymore, I don't have any choice to finally let her go so I decided to cut off the mental bond between us even if it means that I can no longer hear or feel her feelings anymore. If I can only do the same as our mating bond, I will be willingly break it if it means that she could live happily with the man that she truly love. 

Isn't that what love supposed to be like? Loving someone means that being happy with the things that brings them joy even if it means that we have to let them go. It's given that having to set them free is the hardest thing to do but sometimes, it is just necessary. Because if you still hold on the things that are not reciprocated, isn't that we are making all things worst? We are just causing them pain, so why not just let go? 

A week is only what remains until the new month enters and it means that Naeun will be staying here in my residence again. But just like what I have said, I no longer have the intentions of calling in our deal since it is obviously useless. It's a no win situation. Yes, I will be happy since I got to be with her but in the contrary to that, Naeun would only suffer since she'll be away from her beloved. So the decision has been already made: I should let go of my mate.

I was slouching back on a chair chugging a huge bottle of wine once again that my cousin Hayoung forcefully taken away from my hand. I look up at her and said, "Give my damn bottle back, Hayoung!" 

"What the hell are you doing?" I can tell that my cousin was seriously mad by the tone of her voice. I rarely hear her like that and I'm pretty sure that she's really upset with me but I don't give a . 

"Isn't it obvious? I am drinking!" I yelled. 

"I know, I can see that. What I'm asking was what the hell are you doing making yourself drunk for ing two weeks now, Taemin. Have you forgot that you have a court to attend to? You stopped attending council meetings and I don't even see you going out from the house. Two weeks, Taemin, it's been two weeks since you started acting like a . Tell me what the hell is your problem, Night Lord or else I'm going to ask my brother to come over and beat the hell out of you!"

She could try because I don't really mind. I guess it will be better if Kai beat me up since it would help to somehow lessen the pain lingering inside me. Because honestly, physical pain is more bearable than emotional ones.

As I tried snatching back my bottle from her grip I angrily told her, "Do whatever you want just give me the damn wine back, Hayoung."

"No, I wouldn't give it to you unless you start talking." It seems like my cousin is very eager to know the reason so upon ruffling my hair, I finally decided to give her what she wants. 

"It's Naeun, okay? It is all about her. Everything seems to be all about her and it's making me crazy!" 

Hayoung eyes softened as she heard the reason why I am being like this. Of all of my friends, my cousin is the person to whom I can freely tell what I am feeling and a lot more serious matters just like my problem in my mating bond. Another reason is that she's quick-witted and she can offer a lot of good advices in both personal and court matters which made her to be the best candidate to be my counsellor and second in command. 

"What happened this time?" she asked with worry lingering in her voice. 

"Nothing really. It's just me being dramatic."

"You know that you could always tell me everything. I am ready to listen to you even you start bickering nonsense. Taemin, you're my friend and my family at the same time, and keep in your mind that whatever you are feeling matters to me."

"I already know that. It's just that... I-I don't know, I'm confused and telling you might make everything to be more puzzling."

"That's not true. What's the purpose of me being your counsellor if I can't make things easier for you to grasp? Don't keep it into yourself cousin or else you'll find yourself suffering a lot more. Concealing wouldn't bring you any good. Just let the perceptions of others be an example; you love concealing your true colors to others and pretending to be someone who is not really you. And look what it caused you, you're being hated and feared. You're being portrayed as the villain, Taemin."

I heavy sigh escaped from my mouth. I hate the fact that Hayoung seems to be always right on almost all things which made her a way better faerie than I am. Yet I am very much thankful that she's here to gui