Have you ever looked straight into someone’s eyes then shout inside your head the words your lips dared not to say?

Because you know words can be as light as feather or sharp as dagger in a matter of seconds.

If looks could kill?

Probably, this person is dead by now.

So I distracted myself lightly kicking pebbles and dust sa malubak at maalikabok na lupa.

Sa haba ng pinila ko… bigla siyang darating at sisingit?

It really annoys me na makitang ang straight na pila dito sa may terminal ng santrans sa D. Jose. lalo na tuwing rush hour… bigla nagiging spaghetti ang linyang dapat tuwid.

I needed to finish the file bago umuwi so nag overtime ako and yes…

I regretted it.

I regret na mas inuna ko yung pagiging diligent ko instead of being punctual. I ended up sadulo ng pila and after 45 minutes, eto… sisingitan pa ako.

Lahat naman gustong umuwi pero- hay nako. Just the thought of it, mas lalo lang akong naaannoy.

God, give me more patience.

Umusad na ulit yung pila and nung finally nasa benches na ako waiting for another bus, my phone vibrated – reminding me to buy meds for my lola’s maintenance.

I hissed , pero mukhang napalakas ata kaya maraming nagtinginan towards my direction.

As though on cue, our bus arrived, so wala na akong choice kundi ang ipagpabukas nalang ang pagbili ng gamot. Ayoko na pumila ulit for another hour agony.

My body hurts so bad since maghapon akong nakaupo sa office. I can feel the stiffness of every muscle in my body.

Why did I took up accountancy again?

Naupo ako sa medyo dulo na part. It’ll be a long trip anyway. Sa two seats ko pinili maupo and I sat next sa window since the seat next to the aisle is already occupied.

My eyes felt heavy as soon as my back hit the seat. I even yawned.

If I nap… baka lumagpas ako sa bababaan ko.

Siksikan na yung mga chance passenger sa gitna. Natamaan pa nga ng strap ng bag sa mata yung katabi ko which I didn’t mind. She winced from the pain at hindi manlang nagsorry yung nakatama yet I heard her timidly saying “okay lang…”.

I yawned again.

I’m too busy deciding kung iidlip ba ako or not. My eyes stings at kahit anong gawin kong kusot, I can’t brush the urge to sleep.

My head spins sa pinaghalo-halong amoy inside the bus. The aircon breeze, some lowkey air freshener, strange odors, sweat… god, filipinos are indeed- hardworking…

Oddly… nakakamiss.

These aren’t helping kaya sige…

After akong singilin ng kundoktor, I’ll nap.

And I succumb to sleep even before paying my fare.

Nagising ako sa sudden vibration sa left temple ko. Right there and then I realized, nakahiga na ako sa balikat ng katabi ko. She’s laughing sa pinapanuod niya while trying so hard to suppress the laugh just to keep her shoulder stable still the same time.

I even heard her “he he”

She suddenly looked stunned nung nag-angat na ako ng ulo. I said “sorry” and bowed a bit out of embarrassment. Mariin naman siyang umiling and mumbled a shy “sorry, nagising yata kita”

Alarmed, I scanned the area… kaunti nalang ang kaninang siksik liglig umaapaw na passengers sa loob. Pati yung labas tiningnan ko agad just to check kung nasaan na ako.

Medyo disoriented pa ako mula sa pagkakagising ko that I can’t even tell kung pauwi ba ang byahe ko o nakidnap na ako.

“San na ‘to?” I asked her reluctantly.

Tumingin siya sa akin saka ngumiti ng magalang “pa san jose…”

I immediately shouted “PARA!” as soon as she said that.

I thought bakit ‘di mo ko ginising agad?! And too late to bite my tongue and catch myself dahil I absentmindedly said it out loud.

‘Pag lagpas ko sa mga hita niya, my world suddenly turned a bit faster at para akong matutumba sa hilo.

“uy…” she’s quicker though. She’s fast enough to hold my arm for support.

Damn orthostatic hypotension.

Momentum did its magic nung nagsway pa-forward yung katawan ko pagpreno nung bus and escaped her touch then I literally ran off the bus at naghanap ng tricycle pabalik.

Ito na ng aba sinsasabi ko…

Yung 100 peso bill sa coin purse ko hindi nabaryahan. That reminded me bigla na hindi pala ako nakapagbayad sa bus kanina.

What happened?

While walking the remaining distance to home I smiled at the thought…

Nag 1-2-3 ako sa bus for the first time.

Friday nights aren’t really my thing. Palagi nalang may take homework para before day-off bawas na yung word load.

Plus… Fridays are the counterpart of Monday.

Laging busy… laging pagod.

Sa bagay, they need each other. Just like how start needed an end. Like how puto needed to be dipped in dinuguan.

My knees almost gave out sa steps palang ng bus kaya kahit na I hate to use the railings ay napahawak na rin ako kaysa madapa.

Strangely… on the same spot.

She’s right there on the same spot.

Napatigil ako ng saglit. The person at my back stepped forward para unahan na ako sa middle seat nung pang tatluhang upuan.

Pangatlong row mula dulo, sa may two-seater, seat next sa aisle. She’s watching something again.

Naupo na ako sa bakanteng seat sa tabi niya, next sa window. She didn’t notice me. Or atleast that’s what I’m hoping for. Sana hindi niya ako maalala. Maalala niya kaya? Sana talaga hndi.

To add something to this day’s oddity, her sharp side profile lives in my mind without my consent.

Blankly staring outside habang nakapangalumbaba became my habit tuwing sasakay ako ng bus pauwi. It’s also a good time to reevaluate my choices that led me to my present and plans preparing for tomorrow… next months… for the future.

What’s with the future anyway and we’re always told to prepare for it?

We even worked so hard yet blindly towards it.

But then… who doesn’t plan for future?

Everyone does.

“Kayo ho?” a voice said.

Ako? I like all my plans laid out. Ayokong kumilos out of rash and I hate it kapag nararattle ako over something because things got out of hand and I am left with little to no choice at all.

Ayokong naaapura.

Minamadali…

“miss?”

Anything must be according to plan… don’t you think so?

May naramdaman akong something that softly brushing against my tummy and nung humarap ako sa tabi ko, inaabutan na siya ng kundoktor ng dalawang ticket and kakabulsa niya lang ng wallet niya.

She looked astound staring back at me.

As if I caught her doing crime.

As if my eyes being wide open to meet her gaze is a crime.

As if us, seeing each other again is a crime.

As if…

“akala ko, tulog ka na naman.” Was all she said but it’s enough to give me answers and questions at the same time.

Wednesday palang, I felt hot at hindi na natigil yung sakit ng ulo ko hanggang s