Prompt: "Why didn't he come and talk to me himself?"  

**Requested by; Shiroazchan on 28th September 2017

"Jihyo, let's break up" he says. I almost chock on my drink, but thank goodness that I wasn't.  

To be honest, I wasn't expecting this at all. Not even a little bit. Why? Because unlike others couples, we never fought before. Not even once. I didn't know where it come from and why did he ask for it, but what I'm sure is that he really mean it. Never once he say something that he didn't mean at all to me. Perhaps because we never fought before, he ask for break up now. But wasn't that just ridiculous?     

"Are you going to be happy?" I ask after I composed myself and gather all the strength that I could get from myself.   

I didn't know why did I ask such questions but it just come out from me. Even in this situation, I still think of him first and it always like that before. I look at him, hoping that I could get a glimpse of hope and start all over again. I look at him, wishing that he would take it back. I look at him, hoping to find a hint that it was only a bad dream. 

Unfortunately, I didn't see it at all. I couldn't even see his face as he look somewhere else, other than me. I know that there is something inside of him as he avoiding my eyes, but I couldn't pinpoint what it is. I didn't know whether it is guilt or something else. One thing that I'm sure is that he will not take his words back, and silence from him is the only answer I get. I take a deep breath before saying my last good bye, even when my emotions and my heart protesting so hard in the inside. 

"If that what you wish for and if that make you happy, so be it. I wish you all the happiness and thank you for all those time." I say and look at him for the last time. 

I stand up and give him the happiness smile I could give before walk out fron the cafe. If he really know me, he would know how much it break me in the inside because I couldn't even finish my drink, which I always finish no matter what happen. It wasn't me to waste such drink but now, I didn't even know myself. I didn't know why I should think of him first instead of myself but what have been done, is done already and there is no way things will be the same now. I keep on walking with that smile but my heart keep on breaking with every single step that I take. I keep on walking without knowing where my feet will take me. I keep on walking with the smile I wish to have on my face, pretending  to be fine. I keep on walking until I stumbled down onto the ground, never realize that I was at a park, alone with the grey clouds above me.    

I look at my bleeding knees with a blank mind and I didn't even feel a bit of pain from it. I just keep on looking at it without doing anything else. Just looking as if nothing happen. My eyes become blury and without I realize, I was crying. My tears flow freely and I wasn't able to control it. I can't stop them even when I want it to stop. I want my heart to be strong but it know me better that I know myself. My tears keep on flowing and I let myself to breakdown. I let myself lose and let go all the pain I felt. I shout and keep on crying by myself. I cry until my tears dry.  

I lift my head and open my eyes, looking at my surrounding which is differs from my flashback. I know that I've cried again and the memories of him wasn't going to stop any sooner. I wipe my tears and take a deep breath. Taking all the fresh air into my lungs, hoping to fill my mind and push out all the things about him. Pushing the memories and the emotional that he left within me. I know I can be strong. I know I can get back up again. I know I can do that, but my heart didn't think the same way as my brain. I want to believe that I'm strong, but why did my heart still making me cry? I want to move forward but why did my heart still holding onto the memories of the past? 

I close my eyes and open them up again, just to see the beauty of the sunset in front of me, which I didn't realize approaching that fast. The sounds of the wave that giving me the peace that I wanted to feel but at the same time, bringing all those hurtful memories of that day. I thought that by choosing this island as my escape would be a great idea but now, I'm not sure myself. Ever since I step into the ground, he never left my mind. Even when I wanted to, the memories of him would crawled back into my mind and tears will surely fall. 

Sure, there are some regrets inside me for not fighting and protect my relationship but there's nothing I can do if I'm the only one who holding onto it. I know that sooner or later, it will eventually break. By that time, my heart will be broken even more. Perhaps, I'm being selfish but what is the use of destroying myself for someone that didn't love me anymore? What is the use fighting all by myself, without his support?  

I sigh before standing up and walk barefoot on the beach, going back to the resort. I look at my feet playing with the sand as I walk. I didn't remember the last time I went to the beach and I'm sure that I wasn't in the same situation. Smile automatically form on my lips. For once, I was able to feel myself smile sincerely. Perhaps it is truly the time I'll be able to find my happiness. With that smile still attach to my lips, I lift my head and some familiar figure entering my sight.

Him. My smile drop and I can feel my body startled. My step stop and there is some war within myself.  My heart wanting me to run away and avoids him, but my mind want me to just walk past him. Beside, my resort is the same p