Hello hello, its been awhile XD my other story has been doing well gonna try and update it. Seriously though I've been having so many BamLisa plot bunnies and its been so hard trying to push them to the side but this.....this one I just can't ignore. I will go over my word count a bit but I don't think any of you will mind also warning it will be a bit sad, nothing too bad but yeah. Also the letter Bam gives to Lisa is from a picture I saw on instagram that inspired this, I only added a few things but what I added will be obvious so I don't really think I'll need to explain.

Anyway I hope you all enjoy this until I can come back to updating this like I used to~! <3

Lisa sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose, she had long learned that when Bambam got into one of his moods he just needed space and she should give it to him. But now it was different, they were only two weeks away from their wedding day. 

He seemed so hesitant with everything that even with his constant reassurance she couldn't but help like he didn't love her anymore, maybe he realized getting married to her was a mistake. It didn't help he wouldn't even tell her the cause of his sudden depressed state. Sometimes she could see him listening to sad love songs and other times he was just staring off into space. Bambam, someone who she has never seen cry and if you told her he did she would probably laugh in your face. She had seen him tearing up one night while staring at the wall, the tears didn't fall but they were there. When she asked her mumbled something out she couldn't quite hear then laid down, turning away from her.

She shook her head, that was bad thinking, it was just nerves. She had been with him five years now. She knew him. 

Nodding a bit to herself she walked out into the living room and saw him staring at the television emotionless. She reminded herself to gauge his reaction, walking up to him she sat down next to him and kissed his cheek. Her heart swelled as the hazy look in his dissipated and he smiled brightly at her, his eyes overflowing with so much love it warmed her.

"Hey." She whispered, she didn't know but she felt like speaking any louder would disrupt the calm she managed to obtain with him.

"Hi." He smiled wider and pulled her onto his lap, she wrapped her arms around his neck and hummed contently as he nuzzled into her neck. They stayed like that in silence before he took her hand and brushed his thumb over her ring finger where the ring he had given her was.

Gently he broke the silence, still not moving from her neck.

"I'm sorry I've been so moody lately. I don't know why....well I do but I don't feel like it would be fair to you." She felt her chest constrict painfully, what did that mean? Hesitantly she cut in.

"If you don't tell me what the problem is we can never fix it." 

He stayed silent some more but sighed. 

"I feel guilty."

It took a moment but instantly she slowly relaxed. Sorn. He was talking about Sorn. In the past it would've stung but know she's grown. She knows that even if Sorn still holds a part of Bam's heart he loves her now, he's IN love with her. There's just some loves that you can't let go of and she understood that. She knew what he meant, he and Sorn were engaged as well until she had unjustly passed away. He was guilty for loving another woman, engaged to another woman, starting a new life with another woman. 

Gently she cupped his cheeks and raised his head to look into his eyes, smiling sweetly. She wanted him to know she wasn't upset.

"Bam......I understand. And you have every right to feel the way you do but....you shouldn't stay stuck in the past. You know I love you and have been nothing but supportive. It's cause I know you miss her and the love you had with her can't just fade but I want you to able to trust me with this okay? I'm not going to get mad. Why would I get mad when it's just how you feel? I didn't know her but from what you've told me she sounds like she was a lovely woman and I'm sure she wouldn't want you to wallow in the past, in your sadness. She would want you to be happy, find peace. Bam please, I know it's going to be a long road before you can fully let go of her and I can understand, you can hold onto her until you're ready to stand on your own two feet and I'll be there to hold you in her place but don't let her be the reason you push me away. Don't push me away. Please." 

She couldn't help it as tears welled in her eyes, alarm settled in Bam's eyes as he hurriedly wiped her tears away and cradled her head in his chest. "L-Lisa..I won't. I won't push you away. I'm sorry for the way I've been acting this past few days. I don't deserve you.....I'm sorry but I love you." 

Shaking her head she gripped tightly onto his shirt as a few sniffles left her. "You're wrong, you do deserve me. You deserve someone who can treat you right and make you happy again, I'll be that person. I am that person Bambam. I love you." Pulling away she wiped her eyes and smiled softly, her heart skipped as Bam returned the smile and pulled her down. Leading her into a gentle kiss. 

The day of their wedding was the best day for the both of them. 

Bambam's breath was stolen the second he saw Lisa being held out by her father, she looked every bit like the angel he truly believed she was. She had come to him in a time of his life where he felt like he could end it all. It was thanks to her he was still standing here today. The beautiful white contrasted greatly with her orange hair, the veil making her seem ethereal. 

Lisa still couldn't believe she was actually getting married, her father smiled squeezed her hand, kissing her head before leading them in. Lisa smiled when she saw Bambam, he looked as handsome as ever in his expensive tailored suit. She blushed when she caught sight of their friends cheering silently. They had been the ones to tease them nonstop until Bambam had finally taken her out on a date. At first it was awkward but when they dropped pretenses and just went with the flow everything sailed smoothly.

When they turned to say 'I do' Lisa had realized how irrational her thinking had been two weeks before. Here he was with all the love and adoration in the world and it was directed at her. No matter what happened she knew she couldn't leave him, not now. 

Their I do's rolled off like water and everyone cheered in happiness as he kissed his bride. 

The night went on as planned, everyone having fun and the married couple mostly in their own little world, reality not quite sinking in just yet that it was real. They were married. They were bound together, from this point to the rest of their lives. 

Lisa looked up at Bam and found him smiling down at her, chuckling softly she kissed his lips gently. 

The morning after their wedding Bambam was the first to wake up, looking around at the clothes strewn around the room. He picked them up and put them in the hamper before gently shaking Lisa away. She blushed when she noticed the state they both were in while he chuckled, despite that they showered together.

Lisa was just finishing off their breakfast when suddenly Bam came down, an envelope in his hand. "Lalalizard~" 

She frowned at his nickname while he snickered then handed her the envelope, rubbing the nape of his neck nervously. She raised her brows quizzically, there was nothing written on the outside.

"It's....." He took a deep breath and Lisa already knew what he was going to say. "It's from Sorn....before she....she passed she gave me this. She said I couldn't read it. It's supposed to go to whomever I found love with again." He smiled softly at his and Lisa's heart bloomed.

Nodding she sat down, Bam sitting across from her and watching her intently. Carefully she opened the envelope, she knew how important this was. To be getting a letter from his deceased fiancé. This also just proved to her how much she meant to him, she had such a big and important role in his life that he was giving her this letter, it made her nervous all over. To also know Bam had never read this just added on, Bam had no idea what the letter would say. This letter was directly from the person who had his heart last.

To the girl who loves him next:

If you're reading this, he's finally moved on, he's decided to let you in. So please, please be gentle. His guard is still up. I'm sure you've figured this out by now but be patient with him. His heart has gone through hell and back and it'll take time for it to completely heal. He can be stubborn and sometimes all you'll be able to do is walk away, but he always comes around. When he's upset, kiss him. But then let him cool off. He doesn't ever stay mad for long. If you're sad it's a guarantee he'll do anything to make you happy once again, Bam's biggest beauty yet flaw is his big heart. Once he loves you, you become his world, he'll follow you and cherish you no matter what you do. He'll be a pillar of support and even when it feels like the world is against you, he'll wrap you up in his arms and show you that isn't true. Even if you both are on bad terms, whether it be a fight or something else, if he knows you need him he'll be there. Don't worry. He loves cinnamon rolls for breakfast and if you let him, he'll eat every single one. So be sure to save yourself one first. I never understood his obsession with durian as it's quite literally the world's smelliest fruit but his dumb smile when he eats it, his full blown attack of cuddles after you give it to him will make it worth it. He can stay on that Xbox for hours but I hope it makes you giggle every time he gets frustrated at the game. You'll fall for those little quirks of his right away. To love him is one of the scariest things I've ever done, but don't let that stop you from falling. He's going to catch you. His smile feels like home and you'll never second guess if he loves you or not. Don't give up on him. You two will have bad days, but I promise you the good will outweigh those. Take care of him. He's yours now.

With lots of love,
Sorn

By the end, Lisa was a weeping mess. Her heart hurt although in a pleasant yet sad way. It was hard to explain, but what stuck with her was the two parting sentences.

"Take care of him. He's yours now."

She looked up and almost dissolved into hysterics again. Who would've thought? On one of the rare days that she actually listened to what Bam wanted for breakfast.

He was up and out of his seat in lightening speed, holding Lisa's head to his chest as he rubbed his hand over her back, trying to figure out what was wrong, he couldn't read the letter as it was on her lap, she kept crying as shaky I love you's wouldn't stop falling from her lips. Leaning down he kissed her and whispered. "I know." 

She looked up at him before standing up, hugging him as tight as she could, the letter falling to the floor. He still didn't understand but he hugged back anyway, kissing her head repeatedly. 

The half eaten cinnamon roll rested on his plate forgotten.