Hey guys x.x I'm sorry I didn't update this so let me just say that like this drabble is kinda like a warm up drabble?? To like get me back into writing these again so I'm sorry if it T^T because what happened I got sick......s i g h s so literally the only two places I was were in the bathroom or my bed /notfun/ so I'm sorry but don't worry I feel so much better now and will update this!! And like I promised before I will put up the SAF drabbles and Lisa's POV about the JYP Christmas Party so don't worry its coming <3 /tbh i actually started on them before i got sick/ 

Also thanks so much to 

iheartpink2day

​starlight_elk

lisaowusu98

​ilovedara

​PrettyChiisy 

who kept on commenting I know I didn't reply to you guys so again sorry ;-; but seriously thank you all so much and even to the ones who don't comment it still means a lot to me that you read <3 

P.S. PrettyChiisy seeing you try to choose a fav drabble also made my day as soon as I woke up XD

P.S.S this song is so pretty x.x i wanted to put it in but then i was like wait they probs won't know spanish then i was like cool i'll just translate but then i was like wait....they could just look at jb's song cuz like the song i used is a spanish cover of one of his songs so idek if the lyrics are like the "same" but i guess you'll get the gist of it XD

Hoy pude entender que no te merezco ya no
Today I could understand I don't deserve you
Porque sólo yo puedo hacerte sentir mejor
Because only I can make you feel better
Supongo que el destino lo quiso así
​I suppose destiny wanted it like that

She rarely felt like this but at this moment she was glad that she had debuted with a sort of quiet image, repeating once again that she just wasn't confident enough in her Korean to talk just yet. 

Bambam however didn't have the same advantage he had debuted a while ago and everyone knew he was loud, he was boisterous and definitely not soft spoken.  

Maybe it was just her but lately as she had checked some of his fansignings or fanmeets and he just didn't seem as excited as before, almost lifeless whenever a fan wasn't in front of him. He just seemed to stare off into space and it broke her heart thinking she could've caused that.

They had been dating for a little over a year, of course it was hard having to constantly hide and pretend like they didn't know the other existed but it was also easy for the most part as people only knew of her as that one yg trainee, no lines were traced and nothing was connected. But then she debuted fans who wanted to know about her started digging into her past and of course Bambam was mentioned. Strings were tied together and before they knew it fans wanted to see them together. It was nothing bad and their companies weren't enemies but they both knew it was better to keep a low profile so they kept hush about it paying all their attention to their respective groups. 

She really didn't know when it became so hard, maybe it was all the stress and pressure that came from debuting as yg's first girl group since 2ne1 but little things that usually flew over her head started bothering her. 

She started paying so much attention to just how close Bambam was with all the members of Twice and even though she was friends with them also it still struck a nerve, it didn't bother her before but at the time she was only thinking of all the times the girls were with Bambam and she couldn't be with him. They trained together while her and Bambam did not. 

With everything that came with being pushed into the spotlight she knew you needed people to lean on, and yeah he had Got7 but what if he also had Twice? It started arguments neither of them dreamed of having. 

She would complain about this and that and he would pick about this and that. 

It never started with Twice but it always ended with Twice. 

Bambam would become so exasperated by their constant bickering he would say he needed time to cool down and of course Lisa was only all wound up with the green monster steering her path, she would usually scoff and wave him away, tell him to go away and run to his noonas like he probably always does. That was always the last straw for him as he would stay silent for a few moments forcing Lisa to meet his piercing eyes filled with hurt and betrayal as he snapped venomously. A bitter laugh leaving his lips as he gathered his things speaking to her about how much of a hypocrite she truly was, she knows and spends time with her own labelmates, stating at least he mostly only spends time with Twice due to their CEO's wishes, half the time they don't even see each other properly as everyone is busy with their own activities.  

Lisa would feel guilty and leave as well, crying when she reached her dorm. Her own insecurities slowly driving them further and further apart until they both had to call it quits, as the more their relationship dragged on the more toxic it became. She thought he was happy, letting him go seemed for the best and she thought it was but she wasn't happy at all.  

Constantly thinking about what they had and what they could've been, every time she found a video of him she wanted to scream in frustration at how broken he seemed. Not like she was doing any better. 

That's why she reached for her phone surprised only to find a message waiting for her. Her heart stopped as it was from Bambam, tearing up as she read it. 

The main gist of it was his longing for her, no matter how many people tried to cheer him up no one could help because he only wanted her to be by his side, only she could cheer him up. It wasn't even at the most romantic moments that he missed her, sometimes he was just tying his laces or stuck in the practice room and suddenly the thought of her appeared in his mind and he couldn't resist. Relationships all had their own ups and downs and instead of helping each other and making the other stronger they gave up and now he knew that wasn't the right move. 

He wanted her. 

He needed her. 

He loved her. 

And she loved him irrevocably, wanting to be by his side again.