I'm back with another long distance AU!! Cause apparently I have a thing for them :" also sorry but this is mainly angst T^T maybe I'll write a follow up on this and explain Bambam's side of things I dunno yet. P.S. Lisa doesn't know why Bambam left her although I gave you guys a big hint in the beginning of this note XD

Also Automatic by Red Velvet is really good you guys should listen to it ;;; I listened to it while writing this anyway this "quote" I saw inspired this <3 like seriously i listen to it while reading ^^"
/sobs i'm sorry if i'm annoying/ 

ALSO OMG 100 PPL ARE SUBBED I COULD CRY I'M SO HAPPY!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE ^3^

How can I 
Love someone new,
When every night
I dream
Of you?
d.j

Lisa sighed as she laid on her bed, staring out her window. 

I'm being pulled by you
This feeling, just as it is, just hold on

She thought they would be forever, quickly she wiped away the traitorous tear that slipped down her cheek.

The sugar rush comes over me at once
I'm so naturally stopped in front of you

She thought about how people lied, it only hurt when you let yourself think about that person. She tried so hard to stop thinking about Bambam. But how could she stop thinking about the love of her life? Stop thinking about his smile, his laugh, his warm arms wrapped around her, his strong heartbeat she loved to listen to. How could she just forget it all?

My heart is breathing toward you
The momentarily scattering sounds reach you

She never asked to have him imprinted into her heart. It was never like in the books where one specific thing would trigger her, or just seeing him would set her off. She could see him sometimes but other times she had to run away. However just like the books and movies. All their songs together didn't feel the same. 

Telling you all the truths about my love

Their memories didn't show up at a certain time. They came and left however they pleased. Squeezing her eyes shut to try and block him out only made it worse. All his little mannerisms suddenly flashing to the forefront of her mind making her body twitch. They way he always searched for her hand, he always hugged when he was sleepy, the way his arm twitched when suddenly got cold or scared made her want to hold his hand.

My senses move at the smallest body movements
It just comes so natural

Everything just came rushing back. 
She really didn't want to sound helpless but a part of her just wondered she would live. How would she survive now? She had already given him her heart. They both abandoned their own ways to instead meld together, learning how to compliment each other and how to fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.  

I close my eyes and open them again

Like she said she couldn't stop it whenever he made his way into her mind. It wasn't even at rainy nights that he would come like in those movies. Sometimes she would wake up at three in the morning and even though she knew she shouldn't she would search for something to eat. Most of the times it would be a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Just as she was spreading the peanut butter she would be reminded of something Bambam said, something having to do with elephants and peanut butter that once brought her great joy at having his silliness but now only brings pain as he isn't there to tell his jokes anymore. 

But I can't wake up from this deep dream

Giving up has crossed her mind before. She just wants to wake up with Bambam on her bed, smiling his lovely smile again and telling her it was a joke, a cruel joke, but a joke nonetheless. She would whine and hit him, he would kiss her breathless and soon they would be cuddling on the couch. 

She wished so badly for that to happen. 

I want to continue to stay in the same place as you 

But it never happened. 

Warm velvet skin, lips with a soft light on them

Instead she was haunted with his phantom kisses that promised forever and lingering touches that enveloped her in his world. 

Eyes that are wet like rain, it's all beautiful

She wanted it all back. She doesn't understand how it all went wrong. To her everything was blissfully perfect then one day with tears in his eyes he's ending all the dreams they shared together. 

Your warm hands, your warm smile

She doesn't know why he touched her like she was his if he was going to leave. She trusted and loved him so deeply words can't express how she felt. She thought it had been a two way street. 

In your world, it's all beautiful

She still doesn't understand why he looked so sad. 

Doesn't understand why it's been five months and she still can't move on. Wonders how he's doing. If he's just as miserable, but if he is then why hasn't he come back?

It's already decided, it just comes automatic

Lisa wants to know why she loves him. Why she wants him back.

No.

Why she can't stop loving him. Why she can't stop wanting him back.

I love the way you wrap around my heart, filling me up
I didn't know before, it just comes automatic

~ It just comes automatic ~