Why did it have to be like this, why couldn’t I have a loving family, friends that I actually could talk to. And a boyfriend that loved me, only me. Why did I have to suffer? I had never done anything bad in my whole life. I listened to my dad, I let him beat me as much as he wanted to, I let myself get humiliated by the Yoo family, especially Sangmin.

No one would care if I disappeared, right? No one cared about me any way. So why would they suddenly start now.

My thoughts were disrupted by the bell ringing loudly before the teacher handed out some papers, homework to be exact. “I’m going to collect the homework when we meet on Monday, arasso.” Mrs. Kim spoke before a line of sighs could be heard.

I folded the papers to the size that it could fit inside my uniform jacket, before I stood up and began to fallow the other students towards the cafeteria. Seriously I needed to get a real place to stay at, so that I could fix my own meal and bring with me. The food at the cafeteria weren’t really cheap, and at this point I needed to save as much money I could. And to spend them on food wasn’t something that I actually wanted to do.

“Yah, Hwani?” it was her voice, Go Eun’s. I spun around and came face to face with her and her two friends that were standing on each side of her. I stared at her blankly, wondering what she wanted now.

“Sangmin oppa wants to meet you.” I could feel how my body tensed upon hearing his name leaving . And it wasn’t any better that he wanted to meet me either. Though, I managed to stammer out a low, I can’t. But she didn’t listen and instead grabbed my arm and started to drag me along.

It didn’t take many seconds for me to understand where she was bringing me, the guy’s bathroom. It wasn’t the first time that happened. I wanted to cry when they pushed me inside while laughing slightly.

“Hi sweetie.” His disgusting voice rang in my ear as I saw that he locked the door, his nose were red, bluish. My inside was laughing at him. He actually got beaten up for once, and it felt so good even though it wasn’t I who did it. But my outside wasn’t cheering, it was scared and in pure fear.

“I think you already know what I’m going to do to you, right?” his smirk grew larger by ever word he uttered. Ad I knew, I knew exactly what he was going to do. He was going to give back on me because of what Sung Yeol did to him yesterday.

The first punch hit me right over the left cheek and I stumbled on my feet’s before I fell down on the marble floor beneath. I didn’t even get the chance to stand up on my own, because Sangmin grabbed the collar of my jacket and pulled me up before he sent another fist against my face. I could feel how my lips cracked and blood started to run down my chin.

“P-please.” I whispered despite that my lips felt like if they had been ripped apart, which they sort of had. The look he gave me, it was pure despise and hate showing in his eyes. I knew he wasn’t going to stop anytime soon.

And I was right; he didn’t stop until minutes later. When my both cheeks felt like they had been crushed and my lips have been torn away. The bleeding hadn’t stopped and when Sangmin unlocked the bathroom door and disappeared. Once again was I left behind bleeding. It hurt so much when the salty tears ran down my cheeks and eventually onto my lips.

It took a lot of strength to get me back on my feet’s, but once I was standing it wasn’t that much of a problem. I was shocked when I saw myself in the mirror, blood was smeared everywhere and my cheeks already had a small hint of blue to them. I let the water on before I splashed it on my face to get all the blood away.

Once I’d done that I exited and walked towards the staircase that lead up to the roof. I couldn’t be in class now. Not looking like this. I was just hoping that most of it would be gone by Monday, or else I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t go to school looking like I had just stepped out of the graveyard.

My bag was still on the same spot as I left it this morning. After that I checked that no one was up there I went to sit next to it while leaning against one of the walls. I needed to stay there until school ended in a few hours before I could get out. It was Friday so everyone probably wanted to get home as soon as possible.

I reached out for the photography of my mother that was inside the bag. Once I got my hands on it I looked up at the sky while pressing the photo against my chest. “Are you happy?” I asked, but there was no answer in return. I closed my eyes and dreamed back to when I were little, before dad started to hit me.

When our relatives actually would come and visit during my birthday and Christmas. But they all stopped doing so when he started to drink. They pulled away from him, from me. But I was stuck. No one saved me. No one have every done something for me, except for Sung Yeol.

I didn’t know how much time that had passed by once I opened my eyes again, but I weren’t alone anymore. He was staring at me, Sung Yeol’s scary friend.

“P-please don’t hurt me.” I stuttered scared, the images of Sangmin hitting me, again and again came to mind and I started to cry while stammering out please don’t hurt me. The look he gave me was so different from yesterdays.

I saw how he picked up a phone from his pocket before a pressed a button and then let it rest against his ear.

“Hyung.” He started to speak to the other person, after what seemed just like a split second he let it slide back into the pocket again.

When I noticed that he was about to stand up I grabbed his wrist. He winced a little at my touch, nothing less he stopped what he was doing and looked down on me again, his eyes searching my face.

“Don’t leave me.” I whispered almost inaudible as I started to cry, I was scared that Sangmin would come for me again. Because that sentence was still etched into my mind, ‘you are not safe anywhere.’

To my relief, he didn’t move. Instead he just stared at me, his eyes piercing into mine. He must think I’m such a weirdo. First I tell him to practically get away from me, and then I don’t even want him to leave. I know, I shouldn’t let a boy get this close to me. But right now, I preferred any other boy besides Sangmin.

“Yah, dongsaeng-ah.” Sung Yeol’s voice appeared out of nowhere, I guessed that it was MyungSoo who had called him. Though he stopped right in front of me, his usual smile was nowhere to be seen and I found myself looking away from his gaze.