Chanwoo has been so down. Nothing seems to go well in the past few months; either his personal life or idol life. The whole ordeal with Hanbin, iKON’s future, Chanwoo’s future, the rest of the whole perception and everything; it’s taking a toll on him. He never eats anymore, not talking, not responding to anything, and the rest could see it.

He takes it harder because he’s the closest to Hanbin; in a very affectionate and intimate(?) ways. Plus, the fact that he gets less opportunity than the other older members make it even harder for him to move forward in his ty company which in any moment will fall down soon. But thank God, they are doing fine so well and Chanwoo is divided to be happy or sad about it.

The rest try to cheer him up; Yunhyeong cooking everything he wants to eat—although Chanwoo never requests any so he cooks what’s the maknae always loved, Jinhwan keeps knocking over his door while saying countlessly without stopping “Hyung will be here to listen to you, Chanwoo.” Then he left, making Chanwoo very tempted to open the door but he couldn’t. Because Chanwoo just can’t. Then there is Donghyuk; forever the sweetheart, always asking about Chanwoo although he is a wreck too after what happened. He will walk upstairs every day without fail, trying to lift his mood by telling all the jokes and stupid stuff; no matter how reactionless Chanwoo is.

Bobby does the same, though minus all the jokes and happy vibe because Bobby is far from happy. He is in the same plane as Chanwoo although the maknae is 10 times worst. But Bobby never fails to tell the maknae that he is there for him, before leaving for his room. June however is another story. He doesn’t talk, nor cook nor try to make lame jokes for the maknae. Instead, he will sit beside Chanwoo while saying absolutely nothing. But his presence is enough for anyone to read his message. He is worried about the maknae. So does Chanwoo himself; worrying about his own pitiful self too though he can help himself.

But he doesn’t want to. He misses Hanbin badly and he wishes everything will be okay again like before.

“I messed up, Chanu ah.”

He heard his voice by the speakers, crying badly with some familiar noises in the background. Chanwoo knew where he was just by the sounds.

“Hanbin hyung where are you?!” Hanbin kept crying, sniffling away unlike his usual composed self.

Chanwoo had already draped his jacket over his body to come outside, phone over his ear. “Are you by the Hangang, hyung?!”

Hanbin gave no reply. He kept crying. Chanwoo rushed for the door but Yunhyeong and Jinhwan had stopped him.

“Chanwoo ah…” Yunhyeong was restless, and so was a teary-eyed Jinhwan. In fact, all of them which were currently sitting by the upstairs’ dorm were far more restless. Chanwoo glanced over to the retreating figures of their group’s two managers walking towards the entrance. They must have heard him talking through the phone. Then his attention was back on Yunhyeong. “L—Let Jaeho hyung handles it, o—okay?”

He knew he had to say something, to interject but the hurt laced in Yunhyeong’s stutters condemned him of no such thing. So Chanwoo obeyed, feeling much pain intensified in his heart over not able to see Hanbin.

No one beside Hanbin knows that Chanwoo is there before everything falls apart. He is with Hanbin in the studio; the older wanting him to accompany for the day which is not so peculiar. They often spend time together in the studio. Then Hanbin receives call from the CEO, and that’s the start of everything. The Han River, the article, the announcement. Everything falls apart, but Chanwoo has always been there.

He is there when Hanbin cries himself all night long apologizing for the slight crack of mistake and insecurity as a normal human being. He is there in every tantrum and silence treatment Hanbin gives everyone. He is there too when Hanbin decides to leave the dorm—more like the company decides on it for everyone’s best.

Chanwoo has always been there, to the point Hanbin is guilty because his effort is futile compared to what the maknae has done for him.

He watches the clip of the members singing ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ at their most recent concert. He never missed any of their fancam, knowing that’s the only way he can feel closer to s; to Chanwoo. He listens to Chanwoo singing and Hanbin can’t stop thinking how beautiful he is. His voice, his face—though it does look a bit sunken, like what Bobby has told him before. Chanwoo is so perfect.

God, I miss him.

He snaps his attention to the view outside his window. The sky is dark and the snow is falling. It’s finally December, the winter is here. A thought comes into his head. Hanbin smiles warmly, he takes his phone sitting over his bed and texts someone.

He has decided, he wants to see him no matter what.

“You’re not forgetting anything right?” Jinhwan reminds Chanwoo of his belongings. They are coming back to their parents’ houses for Christmas and everybody just knows how clumsy and forgetful the maknae can be; well nowadays since his head is somewhere nobody could detect.

Though they just know exactly what’s been bothering the maknae for the past few months and the name comes with Kim and Hanbin. But of course, no one points it out loud.

“I’m not.” Chanwoo replies putting in his toothpaste inside his bag. “Relax, Jinan hyung. I’m going back to my parent’s house, not to Canada or something.” He jokes around the oldest with a playful smirk over his face.

“Well, just in case you forget, it’s me and Bobby driving you back home so if you forget anything, we won’t turn back.” Jinhwan deadpanned. “It’s Christmas tomorrow, I won’t missed tonight Eve’s.”

“But the one driving is Bobby hyung, not you.” Chanwoo said. “Anyway, you can drive, hyung?” Chanwoo is lucky Jinhwan’s leg is shorter or else he will walk limping with a sore . The maknae playfully dodges the kick before rushing off to the living room. He doesn’t get to see the smile on Jinhwan’s face as the oldest follows him outside. In the living room, Yunhyeong is already waiting for them with his own luggage before the door.

“You’re not forgetting anything, Chanwoo?” Yunhyeong’s question makes the maknae rolling his eyes for the day.

“Yunhyeong hyung, I’m not a kid. I won’t forget my own things.” Chanwoo pouts without his own realization. Jinhwan and Yunhyeong have to stifle their laughter watching the cute boy.

“I know. I’m just reminding you. We won’t be seeing each other for a week, you’ll miss my nagging.” Yunhyeong is the only one laughing at his own joke.

“At least you know you are nagging at me, hyung.” Chanwoo fires back, and that causes Jinhwan to erupt in laughter. Yunhyeong is annoyed.

“Yah, I’m nagging because I care!” He fakes anger though it fails miserably when he smiles. All three of them feel the warm in their heart. It’s been so long since they’re this happy. They’ll miss it. As Chanwoo comes forward to hug his Yunhyeong hyung goodbye, Chanwoo can feel the coming new year will be different. Well of course, they’ll be 6 instead of 7.

“I’ll miss you, Yunhyeong hyung.” Chanwoo whispers in Yunhyeong’s ear as he hugs his hyung tight. Yunhyeong returns the hug but with a frown on his face. Somehow, he can feel the sadness in Chanwoo’s voice.

“Hey, don’t be so sad. We’ll see each other in a week.” Yunhyeong said, but the hug remains tight. He casts a look to Jinhwan standing by the door with much oddity. The older recognizes his signal. They are right, something is definitely off with Chanwoo.

The hug loosens as Chanwoo bids Yunhyeong goodbye. But before he can make a move, Yunhyeong’s hand lingers on Chanwoo’s arm. “We’ll see each other in a week, alright?” He said with much authority. “Make sure you come back.” A sting feeling at the back of his lids. He doesn’t know why it saddens him when he should be happy. Well, they won’t be complete though. Yunhyeong then exchanges hug with Jinhwan before the oldest and Chanwoo walk out from the apartment. Bobby is waiting for them downstairs. They get inside the car and moving on to their next destination.

Hanbin’s phone rings once telling him of one message. He opens it to see a message from Jinhwan telling him that they’re on the road. The older even notifies him of who’s on their way back or not. Yunhyeong, June and Donghyuk are still at the dorm waiting for their manager to take them home. Well for Bobby, since he has been very quiet and sensitive nowadays; like he could explode any minute, the company let him do whatever he wants includi