"You should have heard her! I wish I'm here to see the day that nameplate changes to Chief Mark Tuan! I was convinced he was going to throw her out too!" They all laughed at Jinyoung's reenactment of my chat with Chief Ahn. They were also laughing at how inebriated he was because this had to be his 9th shot of soju and the bartender was thinking about cutting him off. 

Tuan had gone back to his 'I'm not going to talk to anyone' mood, but it wasn't brooding like it always was. When he came out of the Chief's office though, he couldn't help but smile at Jo Kwon packing up his desk or at me, who was sitting on Khun's desk, avoiding Youngjae. 

"How the hell did you manage to do that in under 24 hours? That man would not listen to anything I had to say." I just shrugged at him.

"I told you to trust me, Tuan." 

", if HyeIn can talk Chief into bringing Mark back from hell, can she talk to him about buying me a new car? Both equally impossible, but one was done." I laughed at Taec and took a sip of the water in my hand. They had yelled that I was being a party pooper, whatever that was, but I had to go back to training tomorrow. Youngjae had gone back already, either fuming because he'd lost or because he took Tuan's memo of glaring as a 'You aren't invited.' 

"Mark, how does it feel to have your  saved for once, huh?" I could tell by their reactions, no one but Jinyoung could have asked that question. 

Mark just shrugged before taking a drink out of his can. I rolled my eyes at him but turned back to the table. 

"His is annoyed and didn't even thank me. I wonder what it's like to have that big of an inferiority complex." I glanced over my shoulder, as he was sitting at the closest bartop by himself. My sentence didn't seem to shake him, but I could tell in his eyes that he was even more annoyed than I was.

"Hey everyone! I got here just as I was let off! Why aren't we all drunk yet?" Yugyeom walked over and I hit him on the shoulder.

"Noona! I'm legal."

I pointed a finger at him, "Did you take a cab here or drive?" 

"Cab." I waved my hand. 

"Drink responsibly." He grabbed the first shot of soju he could and downed it. I surveyed Jinyoung and guessed that Yugyeom would get that drunk. 

"I'm not taking them home." 

"You mean I'm not." Somehow, Tuan felt left out and drug his chair over next to mine, joining the table. Everyone seemed surprised he did that, but they didn't mention it. 

"Mark! Remember in college when we used to win beer pong and drink competitions at every party." Huh, I don't remember Jinyoung going to Korea. 

"You used to sneak into parties with me, Jinyoung. I remember."

"I don't remember you going to Korea." Jinyoung shook his head. 

"I didn't. I just went to the parties. I have friends in high places!" He clapped Tuan and Yugyeom on the shoulder, "And then you didn't go to any parties, HyeIn. I would have remembered. You were too busy sceheming." I gave a Shut up Jinyoung, Yugyeom's here! look and he did an O face before nodding. Wow, way for being suspicious.

"I was too busy passing all of my classes thank you." I took another sip of my water. Now we're going to have to bring up parties again. Somehow, whenever I'm with Yugyeom it gets brought up. 

"Remember that time you went to the end-of-the-year and Mark-Hyung-" Tuan glared at Yugyeom and that made him stop talking, but Jinyoung had to push for more gossip. 

He hiccuped and took his 10th shot, "What happened between those two? I bet they ed!" I was loud and made other people turn. I groaned and held my head in my hand. I can't stand drunk Jinyoung. 

"Well, I don't know what they did, but they went upstairs together." Yugyeom nudged Tuan with his elbow and Tuan slapped him lightly over the head. 

"We didn't sleep together, she went upstairs and threw up and then passed out." I shot up and glared at Tuan. He's really trying it

"I did not. I don't drink! You're the one who couldn't keep his hands off me then you turned and puked on the carpet and I knew then and there I had to get out." Tuan set his drink down and swiveled his chair so that he was facing me. If I wasn't so annoyed with him, I would've noticed our knees becoming tanged with each other. No... I noticed.

"See, I find it funny. I can barely recall that night. BamBam was there, we should call him." My glare didn't settle and I just wanted to know what game Tuan was playing. He wasn't going to get away with it whatever it was. 

"Call him! He should remember carrying you back to your dorm room, you lightweight!" I huffed and turned to Wooyoung who looked scared. 

"Hey, guys I think I'm going to go. I'll clear out space for the rest. Have a good night!"

"Yeah, I'm going to follow."

"Me, too." Slowly everyone but Jinyoung and Yugyeom filed out of the bar. 

Jinyoung rolled his eyes, "They're the lightweights. It's only 9:30. The rest of the gang isn't even here yet!" 

"Well if BamBam's coming, we should just ask him," Tuan said matter-of-factly. I kicked him under the table and he hissed, giving me a look. 

I took another sip of my water and whispered, "Trust doesn't mean nice," and he seemed to be silently mimicking me, rubbing his shin. 

"Wow, where did everyone go?" Jackson walked up with the two special drinks he ordered, setting them down. 

"They were too afraid of getting involved in a barfight so they left." Jackson seemed interested as he sat down and looked to Yugyeom, "And if you weren't flirting with the bartender..."

He rolled his eyes, "I wasn't flirting and what fight? As a cop, I'm supposed to protect the people you know." 

"Mark and HyeIn." 

Tuesday, March 20th  9:30

"Remember when you told me you were under a confidentiality agreement unless life-threatening." 

He nodded, "Yeah," taking out a new piece of paper. 

"So why is Jackson telling me I have an undeniable pull ." Youngjae rolled his eyes and put his feet up on the desk, mirroring my position. 

"I didn't say your name and Jackson drew conclusions. I was also a little drunk and annoyed he was calling me at midnight on a Friday." I crossed my arms and I looked up at the wall. Still, the ugly creme color that looked more like baby puke when the sun shines on it. 

"So, this time, we're going to put what we talked about last time aside and talk about this weekend." 

I groaned, "Why?" 

"Because we have to dig a bit into your past to see why you blatantly followed Private Yoo's orders. Basically, I know everything that happened and I know a little bit about Yoo, but not enough to see him capable to manipulate you into several crimes." 

"These things don't leave this room?" He nodded.

"Unless Yoo is threatening to kill and/or hurt you or anyone else, it stays here. Do you not feel comfortable sharing these things?" His pen scribbled something down. 

"I can only tell these things to people I trust. The person I probably trust the most at the moment in Tuan, then Jackson." 

"The first thing they teach you in therapy school is that you have to gain your client's trust. Whether that be reliability, communication, status, whatever. Without trust, the client won't tell you anything. Here, why do you trust Mark and Jackson?" I thought about it.

Why do I trust them? Tuan had a vendetta against me a few weeks ago and Jackson and I really have never had a lot of deep talks or slumber parties. 

"Well, Jackson has given me advice a lot and kind of feels like an older brother to me. Tuan... he's done things that make me trust him. We're in a mutual trust." 

"So you don't know me and you trust people who you know and like." 

Nodding, I pointed to his board, "Everyone on that, would you say you're able to trust them?"

"So you're saying we need to become friends instead of sitting next to each other in a bar and listening to BamBam talk." A look of mischief filled his eyes before standing up an grabbing the keys on his desk. 

"What are you doing?"

He walked over to the door. "I have to get you back by lunch, so hurry up!" 

"You're so bad at this game! How is that even possible? You've wasted half of your money just on this stupid thing." He put his hand up and shooshed me, forehead still pressed against the glass. The claw had finally picked up a pink stuffed bear and was bringing it over to the hole. 

"Oh..Oh, oh, oh! Yes!" Youngjae pumped his fist in the air as he had finally won and kids looked in his direction. Some even whispered to each other, pointing to the grown man in a doctor's lab coat who had been playing the same game for 15 minutes. 

I had never been to an arcade before and had only seen them on TV shows. Even then, the 90's dramas in the North hadn't predicted the touch screens and climbing walls in the South. Neither had I and something made me really want to go on that damn wall. However, the first thing Youngjae did was walk over to this machine and we've been here ever since.

"Here you go, Colonel." He handed me the pink bunny and I looked it up and down. I had long grown out stuffed animals, but Youngjae looked so proud of himself, I kept it and didn't say anything. 

"Corporal and Thanks?" He nodded and surveyed our surroundings, following my eyes to the person who had just reached the top of the medium sized wall. The climbing wall took up the whole expanse of the wall, ranging from small and short to hitting the ceiling. The tallest one had a horizontal climb and the colorful rocks were spaced out in some places, making the climber's launch themselves to get to the next side. Climbing a real cliff never looked this fun to me. 

"Of course the soldier wants to do the rock wall." I nodded and turned to him. 

"Can I?" He laughed and started to walk over. I took that as a yes and hurried in front of him before slowing down. I'm acting like a child. It's a stupid rock wall. Just climb it and be done. 

"How can I help you two?" The guy who was manning the wall looked up at us boringly. This didn't seem like his dream job and he even stuffed his phone into his pocket before we came over. 

"She'd like to climb the rock wall." He surveyed my clothing and it clicked in his head where I must have just come from. 

The kid nodded and waved me to come over, "I'll put on your harness." 

What kind of soldier can't even put on their harness, Princess? 

"What?" He turned back and gave me an annoyed look. 

"I said I'll put on your harness." Shaking my head, I picked up the straps, inspecting them. Should be easy enough to put on. Legs, torso; the standard harness. 

"Look, I have to put it on for safety reasons because if you fall or get hurt, it's on me. It will take 5 minutes then you can climb to your heart's desire." I pulled a face but threw down the harness. The kid rolled his eyes and straightened it out.

"Put your feet in here... please." The please was forced, but I did so anyway. I really want to climb this fricking wall. 

"I still think it's ridiculous that you don't know how to put a harness on. What did they teach you in basics?" I looked down at my feet, watching Youngjae's hands move. I needed to memorized how to put this on for the next time we had to climb. Over, under. Buckle the left - I winced again as he pulled the left strap tight. It cut into the bruise left on my thigh. One of the bruises. I realized this climb was going to be painful. 

"We didn't have any mountains to climb in basic," Youngjae answered the question for me, hooking up the bottom of the harness. 

"Well, we'll see how well Princess can adapt and figure out how to climb. You're the first one up." Yongguk hooked up his own harness and checked all his weapons. I watched him and Daehyun checked their ammunition and weapon condition with skilled hands. Those same hands-

"Done. Don't mess this up, Princess. I can't help you much if you do." His tone was cold like always. I desperately wanted to find out what flipped the switch. 

I walked over to Jongup who had just rigged up the rope for me. He kept complaining how he had to do everything but hooked me up to it. 

"Climbing 101. Don't reach too far and fall because that hook is the only thing holding you. Hand then foot. When you get to the top, don't reach up to the edge or they'll see your hand trying to get a grip. Reach and lift your eyes over slowly. When you come down, use your feet to propel and not your hands. Just hold onto the rope. Got it?" 

"Yes." 

"Don't mess up. It's Yongguk." That sent a shiver down my spine and I glanced over my shoulder. He was sitting on one of the rocks staring right at me. It was almost like he was willing for me to mess up. He's had a bad week. 

"Yongguk."

"HyeIn." I blinked, looking back to Jongup. He looked annoyed. 

"Are you going to climb or are we going to wait here all day?" I shook my head. 

"Sorry." 

"Just climb, Princess." I looked up at the cliff I'd have to scale. It wasn't that large and I could see good foot holes, but holding myself at the top was going to be the biggest challenge. My wrists are sore.

"ing climb!" Daehyun's yell made me start right away. He was probably going to throw a rock at me if I didn't go. The rock was harsh on my bare hands and the fack I had to pull up my weight in my condition made the pain worse. I couldn't mess up though, I had to climb cleanly. Hand, foot. Hand, foot.

A rock hit my hand making me release and hand onto the cliff with my left hand. My whole body twisted and smacked into the sharp rock sending a wave of pain through my whole torso. I let out a low groan, holding it in so I wasn't mocked for my pain. 

"Balance, Princess. We were just checking." I looked down at the 4 of them sitting on the rocks about 50 feet down. I held in my glare as Daehyun was the one who threw the rock. 

I turned back to climb, ignoring the obvious signs of a broken something in my side. I had to climb this ing cliff. 

"Kim HyeIn, can you hear me?" I looked down under my arm, still climbing up. None of them reacted like I didn't respond. Maybe I hit my head too. It wasn't even my name that was called. 

The top of the cliff had a piece that jutted out meaning I had to just use my upper body to climb. . They really wanted me to mess up. I gripped on the bottom of the rock steadying my grip. I'd have to rely on my upper body for this last part and right now my upper body was on fire. Every time I moved my left arm, my whole side lit up. I'd have to go to the medic tent again. I wonder if I'll get a discount this time. 

"Ow, ow, ow." My shoulders were now screaming as I exerted all of my strength to reach up to the final foot of the climb. Vertical and no foot room. I'd have to pull myself up to look over this. 

"Choi MeeYon!" I looked down at Yongguk who had his gun out and aiming above me. I looked straight up and into the barrel of an AK17. Two gunshots went off. Yongguk's - into the gunman's head and the gunman's - into my left shoulder. My grip completely faltered and I braced for when I hit the cliff at full swinging force. 

"Choi MeeYon, open your damn eyes." I snapped my eyes open and tried to get out of the grip holding me. 

"MeeYon, grab onto the wall I can't hold you like this forever." I looked at the position I was in. Not in Iraq, but at the climbing gym in Tuan YiEn's arms, about to fall off from the top of the climbing wall. Most importantly in Tuan's arms. He wasn't here before. None of his was here before. What just happened?

My eyes went everywhere, trying to catch all of my surroundings. Gym. The Climbing Gym. The Arcade. The arcade I went with Youngjae. Youngjae. Panic. No not Yoo, Choi. Doctor Youngjae. A friend. He got you a pink bear. Calm. Tuan. Wall. I didn't fall. Tuan. Why is he here? Tuan. 

I grabbed onto the wall, staring only at the grey backing. What just happened? An invisible pain went through my shoulder again and I grabbed it. No bullet. Not bruises on my wrist. My side feels fine. 

"We're going down. Can you do that?" I nodded, not looking away from the grey. 

"Use your feet to propel and not your hands." The pain went through my side again and my head started to pound. I couldn't bring my legs to push off. 

"No. I can't." I was firm and unquestionable. Something I probably wanted to say but couldn't. 

"What was that?" It wasn't a threat. It was soft and nice, but my mind didn't respond like that. I twisted away from him and even climbed a bit more to the left. 

"HyeIn, do you know where you are?" A different voice had entered the conversation. Youngjae. Choi Youngjae. 

"At the arcade, you brought me to." 

"Great! Do you remember what color the bear I got you was?"

"Pink." It was a whisper. 

"Can you speak a little louder? I can't hear you, HyeIn. The arcade is a bit loud." 

"Pink." This time it was louder.

"You wanted to climb this wall after that. The wall you're on right now with Mark. He showed up right after you started to climb to take you to lunch. Do you want water when you get down?" 

"No." 

"If you come back down there's a vending machine in the arcade we're in that has juice and water. I can buy you some." My throat started to dry out, responding to Youngjae's want to buy me a drink. 

"Okay." 

"Good. Do you think you can let Mark touch you and help you down?" My body seized up again and I grabbed the plastic rocks harder as Tuan shifted towards me. 

"MeeYon, can I help you down?"

"No." I shook my head. 

"I promise your safety. Remember the promise I made. We made. To trust each other. You're safe here. I'm just going to help you down, that's all I'm going to do." The Promise. I remember. 

"Can I touch you?" Trust. He's going to help me down.

"Yes." He moved over towards me, hooking an arm around my waist. I only watched this out of the corner of my eye.

"Use your feet, okay?" I nodded and pushed off the same time he did. With 3 pushes, we reached the bottom, but Tuan's arm didn't move from my waist. I didn't ask him to let go either.

Youngjae handed me the water and I took a sip, trying to clear my head.

"Mark, you should buy food and eat in your car. Make sure she's herself before you drop her off at the base. Actually, go in with her and then come to my office. Just you." I downed the water bottle. 

"Here's your bear, HyeIn." I looked up for the first time and grabbed it with my free hand. I hadn't realized how soft it was. I don't know what came over me, but I hugged it to my chest. It was really soft. 

"Thank you, Youngjae." He smiled at me and glanced down at Tuan who was still holding my waist. 

"Are you okay to go with Mark?" I nodded, regaining clarity in my head. It was the water. I was probably dehydrated when I went climbing. 

"Yeah. I'm hungry." 

"I'll see you next Monday then!" He smiled again and started to walk out of the arcade. 

"I parked in the back. Um, his way." He let go out my waist and walked out in front so I could follow him. My body felt cold after that and hugging the bear wasn't enough. Tuan must've been really warm then. 

"Tuan?" He turned his head and I had no idea why I made him turn or what I was going to ask him. I was just... cold. 

"Yeah?" I shook my head. 

"Nothing, I just want to eat at KFC."

______________________________________

"So, your old chief came into the office today." I couldn't believe Tuan was letting people eat in his Ashton Martin. That's all I was worried about right now, so I didn't the sentence he said. 

"Huh?" 

"Chief Lee came into the office today to talk to Chief Ahn." My eye's widened. Is he really transferring the mission to Lee? Wait, that means Tuan knows now.

"Was it about the mission?" Tuan gave me a confused look before reaching back into the backseat and getting an envelope. 

"Is that was this is?" 

Deliver to : Agent Kim HyeIn 

"99% possibility." Tuan hummed and continued eating a piece of chicken. I pulled out the papers and looked at the cover letter.

Operation BROTHER 

Extraction and Removal of Lee Jun Hong 

Monday, April 2nd - Saturday, April 7th

2018

Lead: Agent Tuan, Mark Yi En

Co-Lead: Corporal Kim Hye In

Sponsor: Chief Lee Hyun Joon 

"Do you want to tell me why I'm the leader of a mission I haven't chartered?" I looked back up at him looking over my shoulder. 

"In less then two weeks we're getting Junhong back." He nodded his head and pulled out into the intersection to turn. How was he so nonchalant about this? He's leading a mission in two weeks. 

"How'd you manage that? Chief said he wouldn't let me lead a mission until next year."

"Blackmail." This is when he choked a bit on his drink and lost his care for the road. 

"You have dirt on Chief Ahn?" I nodded, "Share! I've been trying to look up why he was discharged for years and all I got was a confidential mark and an angry call from a general."  

"I'm sworn to secrecy. Find out yourself." He slammed his hands on the steering wheel and I jumped.

"Of course he gets to you first. Damn!" His voice echoed inside the car. What does Tuan have against Ahn? Maybe he just wants to be the Chief that bad. 

"If anyone finds out, this mission is off. I value my brother's life much more than Chief Ahn's demise." He sighed but I think he understood. I didn't care if Tuan became the president, I wouldn't put that over my brother. Junhong is first. Always. 

"Who's on the mission with us? We have to have at least one meeting." I flipped to the second page to see the list of familiar faces and names. 

"Including us, Nickhun, Jinyoung, Taecyeon, and... Choi Youngjae?"

"Huh, Youngjae finally agreed to go on a mission again." 

"Youngjae was recommended by Chief Lee, but isn't he a doctor?" Tuan laughed and turned the last corner from the base. The white building was in my sights again and for some reason, my stomach dropped. I'd be alone again. 

"Youngjae's a doctor and is the best damn sniper I've met. He just became a doctor because his father forced him. Youngjae's sweet, but can also kill you from 500 feet away and not be a millimeter off." Youngjae sounds exactly like Dae- I shook my head. Don't think about them. Not anymore today. 

"We're here." The car came to a stop, but Tuan made no move to get out. Because of this, I stayed buckled in. He's wanted to ask me something. He was hesitating. There was an air that filtered around. He wanted to ask me about what happened. 

"Wha-"

"-Just as-"

"-Happened at-"

"-Me about..." We both stopped so the other could finish. Who was going to finish first?

"You called me Yongguk."

"I did?" 

"Yeah." He didn't move to ask why he just made my action known. I called him Yongguk.

"And you kept saying things that just made no sense. Names. Names I've only heard in one setting." 

"I don't know what you-" 

"I don't know what Youngjae's going to tell me, but I can only guess. My guess is you have PTSD... and this isn't the first time you've had these. I've caught you a few times and one time, the very first time you were in my apartment. And it's normal to have this because of everything you've been through. Like, I still wince everytime someone shoots an M-16 or M-4 near me."

What was his point to this monologue? 

"You know that Youngjae and I are friends, but you don't know how. I was Youngjae's first patient after I served my time in the Forces. I was a young kid when I went in and I saw that I still keep with me. They honorably discharged me a half a year early because of it and I went to the NIS. It's been 7 years and still... I had the same problem you did. Jackson recommended me to Youngjae and I didn't want to burden some stranger with my problems. It was a stab wound and cardiac arrest for me to realize that I couldn't keep this in becuase it was going to ruin me in anything I did. You were rock climbing and this happened. Next time you could be me, between a friend and a knife before you realize it's too late. I know it's hard to share things when you've been quiet your whole life, but you need to. Youngjae's trying because he doesn't want another me. I don't want another me to happen. Just... talk to him, MeeYon. For me. If you don't agree to it, then I don't agree to lead this mission." I turned to him angrily. 

"How can you do that when someone's life is on the line?" 

"You need to learn to not put everyone else above your own life. Go to Youngjae and we'll get Junhong. I'll take on the responsibility of Junhong's life. I'll put him above me for a while and give him back when you're about to hold that weight." I shook my head. 

"No, I'm not giving you that burden and it's my business." He shook his head. 

"Your buisness turned into my business when your blood soaked my favorite button down." I had enough and I got out, slamming the door. He quickly followed. Tuan was not going to do this. He wasn't going to take and solve my problems for me. They're my problems. My brother. I needed to figure it out and then we'd get him back.

"MeeYon-" He grabbed my shoulder and I turned, brushing him off.

"Don't call me that. Who are you to call me that?" 

"HyeIn-"

"They're my problems, Tuan. I can trust you with things about my life, but not my brothers. It's not that I don't trust you, it's that he's my brother and my responsibility!" 

"You're my responsibility! This mission to get him back: my responsibility. If anything, think of this as my job, not as me, Mark Tuan, trying to help someone. If you can't have someone try and help you out, think of it as an order from your supervising officer. If you don't go to Youngjae and I don't hear feedback, you can be put off this mission and I'll get your brother with Yoo replacing you!" I don't know what did it, but I reached out and punched him. Hard. The fact that he threatened to take me off this mission was the worst thing he could have said. His head turned and spit out some blood onto the pavement. My knuckles were probably bleeding as well. 

"I don't need you to take my responsibility! I don't need you to put my weight on your shoulders. I just need you to lead this mission and get my brother back. This has been my responsibility since I was born and I'm not giving that to you! After all, I've been through to save and protect my brother, you can't just wave your hand and take that away from me! I need to save my brother now because I failed in the past," I started to hit his chest with my fists. He stood there and took it, making me angrier. When isn't he fighting back like he always does? Why is he taking everything from me?

"I failed because I was too weak to kill you, to kill anyone I needed to! I got too attached! My brother is like this because of me! Because you're still alive! What kind of sister am I?" He finally stopped my hands, grabbing both of them. I let out a frustrated scream and some tears fell on the pavement with Tuan's blood. I can't believe I was doing this here. Years of keeping this in and I was breaking down in front of the person I'm supposed to hate the most.

"MeeYon-"

"Don't call me that! It reminds me too much of-" I hiccupped and cut of my own sentence. I'm pitiful. 

"If you need to scream, scream at me. Hit me. I just want you to show emotion like this. I've known who you are for 3 years and this is the only emotion you've shown anyone. I need you to show me, show us more. this is the only way things will get better. If it has to be at me, then it has to be." Weak. Emotions make you weak. Weak.

Being able to fake your emotions is one of the biggest things. You need to make them seem believable yourself. -Officer KIM 

I pushed him away, his hands releasing my fists. I stopped my tears and gave him a straight face. Why does Yi-En Tuan do this to me? 

"I'll go to Choi Youngjae and you will not take me off this mission. I will see you next Thursday to discuss this," I held up the folder, "Bring your own copy." 

Youngjae was right about one thing, Tuan was making me weak. He was doing something to me and I couldn't afford that. I couldn't afford another Yongguk. 

You called me Yongguk. 

I couldn't afford to fall into that trap again.