Saturday 06:57:34

"Two .44s, 5 rounds, and a knife."

"5000 yuan." Youngjae handed the guy a wad of cash and a suitcase was exchanged. 

Youngjae had all of this planned out. Every step, every exchange, and every conversation. We were to infiltrate KyungIl's apartment a 0800 after we signed into the hotel and made a plan of attack. I didn't know when Youngjae said we had to get things, he meant weapons. 

"It's interesting to see you two by yourselves. Last time we met there had to be at least 5 of you. Of course, you weren't there." The weapons dealer pointed to me and I furrowed my brows. 

"When were they here? And who?" It was the first thing I had said off the plane. 

"The tall buff guy, deep voice. He had others with him, one of them was named Silence or something. It was in English. They were buying weapons for a mission in Harbin, but I don't ask, I just supply.

"I wonder why they were in China again," Youngjae whispered under his breath and I was thinking the same thing. They shouldn't have a mission in a country we're allies with unless China called them in as mercenaries. 

"It was a month ago. Early February. They had this really tall kid there too. He looked kind of young but didn't talk at all." The dots connected too well for it not to be Junhong. My eyes widened. he had seen my brother. 

"Did the tall one -"

"We're off schedule." Youngjae grabbed my arm and yanked me out of the alleyway. 

"They were here with Junhong." Youngjae nodded.

"That isn't our worry right now. We have to get to the hotel and get to KyungIl before he's alerted we're here." Youngjae's voice was filled with annoyance, "The weapons dealer wasn't supposed to recognize us, and since you had the nerve to talk and confirm his suspicions, he's going to tell KyungIl. Don't let your emotions get the best of you again Princess." It was an order and he let go of my wrist when I nodded.

We walked in silence towards the hotel and I noted how shady it was. The sign was blinking and half of the characters were starting to fall off. Western Dragon Hotel. The lady at the desk looked like she had popped about 2 before coming to work today. The lobby smelled of cigarettes and some other unidentified carcinogen and looked like it was always nighttime. A few people were walking in the hallways and they didn't seem like the nicest hotel neighbors to have. This was just like before, except this time 5 people were subjected to one small hotel room with rats. 

"This is the only thing I don't miss about past missions; the places we used to stay at." Youngjae tossed the luggage on the one bed in the room and I thanked whatever high power that we wouldn't be sleeping this whole mission 

"You miss Alpha?" It was a low question as I looked around the room. It did greatly resemble the other rooms we were subjected too. I could almost see one of them in the corner opening and inspecting all of the guns we had brought. It made me shiver again. I didn't miss it. 

"I miss going on missions out in the field. Do I miss being under the microscope of an illegitimate dictator that acted like a child? No. Do I miss my friends? Yes. What about you, MeeYon? Do you miss it?" I had to be cautious with my answer. 

"I miss going out in the field, yes, but everything else, no. I was there for Junhong and only Junhong." He opened the cases and inspected the two guns we had just bought. 

"Oh, come on! We had some good memories. We'd always win war games and the times we'd go out to eat. Wasn't that fun?" No, it wasn't fun. In fact, I'd rather have those memories erased from my mind for good. 

"No." He scoffed and handed me the gun, unloaded. I ran my hands along the metal and wooden grips. This was the first time I held a gun outside of a military base. It felt wrong. 

You don't get any weapons until I see it fit.

"I hope we won't have to use these, but if KyungIl is anything like he used to be, we might. Here's the knife." He tossed me it and I shoved it into my shoe. It was just small enough to fit. 

"Do you think you'll be able to finish KyungIl if it's needed?" I looked up at Youngjae and didn't give him an answer. It's been a while since I've taken someone's life. 2 years almost. Could I? 

"I'll take that as a no unless you can surprise me, I'll take him down if we need to." He seemed disappointed in my lack of an answer and my lack of a yes. I was trained to kill people. I was in the military for almost 6 years.

"I can do it," Yougjae smirked and put the gun in the back of his waistband. 

"There's the Princess I know," that phrase left my stomach unsettled, "Now, the plan is pretty simple. KyungIl has no bodyguards, but he has people he can call that will fight for him. He smuggles things and is a hired mercenary here. If we slip up we could have a fight on our hands. We just need to get up to his apartment and break the lock civilly. He probably knows we're here, or that North Koreans are here, so he will be on high alert. We have to go in there guns up, but not ready to fire. So in order, 1, get into the apartment building, weapons still concealed, 2, get up to the apartment, 3, knock nicely and if he doesn't open pick the lock, 4, isolate KyungIl so we know it's only us and him, 2 vs 1, 5, get the answers we want, and, 6, leave back to South Korea tonight and be back Sunday morning. Possible things that could go wrong?" I mimicked this position fo my gun to his. 

"More people than we can take on. But if he's a hired mercenary then he'd have people who'd want to track and kill him, so he's probably alone, with only lookouts to help him. If we get caught with guns in China, we can get 3 years to life. If we get caught with a dead body, I'm sure it's life. A knife will heighten those charges. Lastly, we don't know if KyungIl will talk to us unless he knows we have truly defected." Youngjae nodded.

"Taken into account. We'll cross those bridges when we get there. We have to head out, I have your back you have mine. Let's go." I never trusted Youngjae to have my back, ever. Even in regular training, I never trusted him to cover my back when I was going to be hit. One thing you learn when a nation s you over is that you need to guard your own back before anyone else's. Maybe this is why I was beaten for insubordination so many times. Maybe this is why I was told I'd never be a real soldier. I never trusted anyone to cover my back. 

We walked out of the building at 7:45:09 and the streets were now rushing with cars and people trying to get to work. This caused me to bump into several people and almost loseYoungjae. He seemed annoyed that he had to stop so I could catch back up to him. 

"Keep up." He put his arm around my waist and I almost jumped. Get him off of you. Get him off of you. Get him off of you. 

My mind was yelling at me, but I had to push forward. The only thing I was concentrating on was the touch on my hip. It wasn't warm. It was never warm. 14-year-old me would have loved to be in this position right now, but I just wanted to push him off of me before his light touch turned into something different. Even when we were walking on a crowded sidewalk, I was just waiting. 

If you don't take situations into your own hands, nothing you want will be the result. -Officer KIM 

I let out a quick gasp and Youngjae only tilted his head down as to say 'What now?' I shook him off and he just kept walking, eyes forward. I haven't heard the mantras repeating in my head since January. Why am I suddenly hearing the voices of my commanding officers now? Why is now the time they come back? 

"Here." Youngjae shoved me into an alleyway, away from the rushing of people. There were a few fire escapes leading to windows and some doors on the bottom where we were. 

"His apartments on the other side of this building. We enter here. Get your gun ready." I reached for the gun tucked into my waistband and turned off the safety. Youngjae walked forward into the door that was directly across from us. It pushed open into a small lobby with no people. It smelled almost exactly like the hotel we were staying in, but it had a hint of an iron smell to it. Hopefully, we won't have to deal with any other mercenaries on our way up. 

The stairs were rickety and some of them were broken in half, showing the first floors concrete. KyungIl lived on the 3rd floor, so we had a few flights to climb. As we did this, many different people came down the stairs or out of the doors. Some of them didn't even have their weapons concealed as they walked by, staring directly at Youngjae. It felt like they knew who we were, and that meant KyungIl had to know we were here.

Youngjae stopped me with his arm as we got up to the top of the 3rd flight. 

"Get your weapon out, the door is open." I pulled out my gun and looked over Youngjae's shoulder. There was one door opened and I presumed it was KyungIl's. The weapons dealer ratted us out.  

"Are you going to come in or are you just going to stand there?" Youngjae let out a harsh breath and straightened up. 

"If you welcome us with open arms then I can put my gun away." There was a laugh and Youngjae walked straight to the door, holding his spread hand out to me, telling me to stay where I was. He was at the door now, looking in. 

"Hello Hyung, it's been a few years since-"

"I know my sisters out there, Youngjae. I'm not a dumb North Korean anymore." He dropped his hand signal and I walked up, stashing my gun in my waistband. I prepared myself to see KyungIl's face, as it would remind me too much of Junhong. Junhong looked a bit more like my mother, while KyungIl had to be a perfect match for my father when he was younger. Even then, if Junhong and KyungIl stood next to each other, you could tell. There is a picture of us when we were younger, and we all look the same. Same hair, same eyes, same nose, and, even if we didn't know at that time - same father.   

Youngjae was blocking the door, but as soon as he stepped in, KyungIl and I locked eyes. He looked almost the same as he did 3 years ago. His hair was now a silver color and it was pushed back out of his face. Silver and tall. 

"MeeYon, you've grown a bit more. You're still too skinny, those close barely fit you." He pointed at the sweatshirt that almost went down to my mid-thigh. Just his worrying about me made me fill up with anger. You've never done that before, but now since he got what he wanted, you can be the "normal" KyungIl again. 

"Don't worry about me." He huffed in laughter an set down two more cups on his coffee table. 

"Well, at least close the door and sit so we can talk. Isn't that what you two came for?" Youngjae followed up by taking a seat in one of the chairs across from the couch KyungIl was standing near. His living room was set up like he had clients regularly. The windows had dark curtains on them, now draw back and letting light in, and the chairs were set up so he could see anyone who sat down from that one couch. I begrudgingly sat in the second chair, looking down at the tea he had made. 

"I could have made food, but I was expecting you two a bit later. Maybe later, you need food MeeYon." 

" off." He laughed again and leaned back on the couch, looking back and forth between Youngjae and me. 

"Is this still a thing?" He gestured with the hand not resting on the couches back to Youngjae and I and I rolled my eyes. Why was he trying to have a pleasant conversation? Is he stalling? 

"You know what I came to ask you?" Youngjae threw the other question aside with his own and KyungIl nodded. 

"Oh yeah, definitely, I thought you'd come sooner, as in, when I first came to China. I, however, do not have any of that information and I don't know where to get it." 

"You're lying. You know exactly where it is and you're going to tell me." Youngjae's eyes narrowed and KyungIl shifted so he was leaning forward. 

"Look here, pretty boy. Maybe in North Korea, you could say this to me because of your Daddy but look around. You're in my territory now, and I can get 5 people in here with one push of a button and your blood can litter my floor for a few days. So I suggest you ask a little nicer if you want to know anything." Youngjae glared back and I was surprised at how KyungIl had justed talked to Youngjae. He was right though, no one could say anything against Youngjae in North Korea without getting backlash, but this wasn't North Korea. I wonder how KyungIl can do that, but I can't. 

"How many spies have infiltrated South Korea recently...Hyungnim?" KyungIl smirked and it shook me again how much he can look like Junhong.

"In the past year, there have only been three. One of them is names Sungrok, the other I don't know what her name is, and that last one, well, we all know who the last one is." Junhong. 

"Where is my brother?" It was like he was waiting for me to ask that question. 

"I mean, I'm right here." I had the urge to get up and punch him, but I wouldn't get answers that way. 

"Where in Junhong?" 

"Youngjae needs to leave before I tell you this stuff. It's a family matter, and I've heard recently that you aren't in that picture anymore." My eyes widened as Youngjae stood up and walked out of the door, closing it. A thump told us that he was still leaning against it, trying to hear everything we're saying. 

"The door is sound proof." I turned back to KyungIl and realized the situation I was in. I was in a room with my illegitimate brother, who was one of the reasons my father died, trying to get information about my real brother. The last time I was alone with KyungIl, I tried to kill him in a random dorm room.

"So, are we going to have a heart-to-heart, or do you want me to tell you where Junhong is?" He leaned back on the couch again. 

"Where is he?" My face a stoic and I started him in the eyes. Junhong's eyes. My eyes. 

"If I tell you, you have to give me time." I knew what he meant by time and I couldn't give it to him. But I had to. 

"Time?" 

"Time with you and Junhong. Time to explain my side." 

"How can you feel guilty now, but not when it actually happened? Not when you broke Junhong's leg? When you burned down-" 

"You don't know that, Yon. You have no idea what was going on. You just know what you say and what was being fed to you. If you give me time, I can tell you everything. I know everything about our father's death." 

"My father."

"Was he really even your father, Yona?! Do you forget who raised you?!" 

"Where is my brother?!" He sighed and shook his head. 

"I have to have your guarantee before I can tell you. If you won't, then you can leave and take Youngjae with you."

"Fine. I'll give you time, later. After I get Junhong, I'll bring him here. The only problem is that he hates you more than I do." 

"He's somewhere in Gyeonggi-do. He travels to Hongdae bi-weekly on side missions. His goal is what your goal was. He's an intern at some international law firm and he's almost to the point where he's working in relation to the Presidential Office. He has one year to assassinate the newest president or he gets shoved back into Alpha."

"Did he come here in February with Alpha?" KyungIl nodded. 

"He came here and gave me this after Seollal," he raised up his shirt to reveal a stab wound on his lower abdomen, "He's taller and had the same color hair as me. You didn't tell me he grew up to look exactly like me." I glared at him and recounted the dates in my head. 

"He went to South Korea first and then to China." 

"Something happened in South Korea that made him up, so they sent him back to where Alpha was so they could get him back to "North Korean Spy" Junhong." I happened. 

"Do you know anything else?" I realized this was the first long and non-violent conversation I had with KyungIl since I was 13-years-old. 

"No, but I'll tell you one thing that might save your ," I gave him a confused look, but he tapped the coffee table, "When you leave here, there's a fire escape to your left that will lead you to the other side of the building. From there if you walk straight and then turn left after 100 meters, you'll be at the back of your hotel." He stood up and glanced out the window on his right. 

"Why do I need to know this? How can I trust you?" 

"Don't tell anything we've talked about to Youngjae. You can't trust him that much. You just need to punch him a few times and maybe he'll get it." With that Youngjae burst through the door, his gun pointed at KyungIl. 

"You set us up." KyungIl shrugged and his face turned back into a smirk. 

"I think you set yourselves up, but you should run soon. They're already on the 2nd floor. Shooting me will give them more evidence. Also, if you're detained here there is a possible change you could randomly end up in the North again. No big deal." Youngjae grabbed me and pulled me out of the apartment, slamming the door. 

"The building is surrounded by Chinese Officials. I have no doubt Tuan or Wang could be with them. I don't want to shoot any of them, but we have guns and that's illegal. The only viable option to escape is windows. There's one apartment with a fire escape to the right, but that goes to the wrong side of the building."

"The criminals on the 3rd floor! Lower your weapons! We will shoot!" Youngjae tucked his gun into his waistband and I threw mine on the floor. 

"Princess what are you doing? This isn't the time." His grip was still on my wrist and I needed him to let go. Get him off of you. Get him off of you. I couldn't go back to the North. 

My fist connected with his temple and he let go, trying to regain his balance. The police were just coming up the stairs when I ran to the left, taking KyungIl's instructions. 

"Stop right there!" My eyes flashed back from running out of Tuan's house. I could technically be running away from Tuan right now. 

The police followed me, but I found the fire escape and jumped down that, swinging down and skipping a few levels, giving me a lead. I didn't mind the pain in my ankles as I did this again and landed on the concrete. People were confused until they say the police running down the escape. 

I ran even harder, remembering the instructions. 300 meters. 300 meters gave me a shady alleyway with a fence opening to the other side. I figure I could stop and give myself a rest, so I hid behind the trashcan and watched half of the police force run past me. There was no way they were with Tuan. If they were they wouldn't be taking us back to the North. Or maybe KyungIl was saying that so Youngjae would panic. Either way, I had to get back to the hotel and get my things and find a way back to the South.

Running in China was dangerous for someone from the North. And even more dangerous for a defector. And even more dangerous for me.