Friday March 2nd, 2018

0500

"Today is our new recruits first PT. I'd like you to treat them well and move their hair out of the way if they puke. Corporal Kim will be joining you this week so she can see what we normally do. Next week, she's going to lead the trainees in hand-to-hand combat, medical skills, and the confidence course. Are there any questions before we start?" The air was cold around us, and I wondered why he didn't have us run in full gear today. Just out casual winter wear. Usually, in any weather, we suffer. Today we had just our M16's to carry. It's been a week, the new recruits should know by now.

"Alright, now get running! I want 10 laps around this whole field!" Park yelled at all of us and everyone started running. I really don't miss waking up at 0500 to run 3 miles.

"Doesn't it feel fun to be back?" I didn't even glance at Youngjae. Apparently, he missed being out killing people with 4 of his closest friends and me. Being locked up in a house in a cold place, trying to smuggle in and out drugs wasn't his scene. I, on the other hand, was glad that I left that hell hole. I guess when your Daddy's not a general anymore and is seen as a traitor to the state, your life isn't all silver spoons and dinner parties.

"No,"

"What do you mean no? You get to boss around people now. Your rank means something here." Ouch, that one hurt a bit. Maybe he's just jealous that I'm a higher rank than him.

"To you, it's still superficial." He laughed because he knew it was true. He wouldn't listen to me. Not here, not ever.

"Am I the only one here that matters?"

"You're the only one here who has a hard time listening when I say stop." My eyes widened at what just came out of my mouth. I glanced over at him and his eyes were hardening. I can't believe I just said that... to Youngjae. I'm screwed. Fear came through me and I stiffened up.

"You really want to say that to me." It was sinister, it was Youngjae. The voice that made me forget about him saving Junhong on the playground. That voice that started most of it, if not all of it. I was half expecting a hand to pull me out somewhere, but they both stayed, clenching the M16...imagining it was me.

I ran ahead, something that I wasn't used to. Well lately, running seems to be the only thing I can do. I got to the front, with the trainees that thought they were overachievers.

I wish I was that confident. The most confidence I've had in front of Youngjae was to say those words. In front of the real Youngjae. Not the Youngjae that I tackled on the floor at Tuan's or the one that was sitting next to me on the hospital bed. The Youngjae who said sharing was charitable. The Youngjae that sat in the corner and smirked at me as I cleaned his gun for the 5th time because it wasn't "clean enough" and he liked to see me work for once. I bet Tuan and Junior are sitting right now trying to know why that night was different. Why was I afraid of Youngjae then and never before? And what happened in Tibet? The real Youngjae happened.

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0800

"Sing for me, Choi. I like Sistar the best. Do it to the beat of your next 50 pushups." I rolled my eyes at another one of the ridiculous punishments and things that Park and Kim made all of us do. It hasn't come to me yet, but I'm 5th in line, so that might change. Youngjae had to sing a South Korean army song by rote and since he was being a smart- the whole time he had 50 extra push-ups. I feel like when they get to me I'm going to have double that because I am not doing this silly .

"You four, have you heard of a push-up square. If not, I'm telling you about it now, so do it." I glanced to the side with my mouth a bit open. Kim just played me and Park is going along with it. How much of a grudge can someone have? I shot him in the shoulder, not the heart.

"Corporal, what should we have you do?"

"Nothing," I mumbled and he bent down, one eyebrow cocked.

"What was that?" I kept doing push ups, not looking him in the eye.

"I said nothing, sir." I was patronized by North Korean drill sergeants and now here I am in South Korea, I must be cursed.

"Hmm, my shoulder really is aching today, Sergent Park. I guess a past injury is haunting me again. What do you say, Corporal? Do you think it can still hurt if it was that long ago?" He was taunting me as he patted his shoulder.

"Silence, Princess, there's two Southies coming at you. I think they're trying to sneak in. Moon and I will try to hit them from the side. Badman from the back. Over." Daehyun took looked through his scope and I turn my safety off, waiting for his call. I took this time to survey the area above the two soldiers coming in.

"There has to be more of them," Daehyun said, turning slightly to me. I nodded, trying to position myself so the ground wouldn't push so much on the newly formed bruises decorating my torso.

"Unless they're trying to plant something, or see how many of us there are."

"Don't be so stupid, Princess. Plus I see a few in the bushes up about 200 yards from out two here," I moved my sights up, seeing rustling. There were about 4, "I don't understand why you aren't with Youngjae right now. You're better at hand-to-hand. I didn't go that hard on you last night that you'd have an excuse to be this useless." I couldn't protest. Could say that slamming my head against the floor wasn't harsh... I didn't want him to do it again, even if he was the lightest one.

"Report to Yongguk for me, Princess." I nodded and pressed the button on my ear pieces.

"This is Princess. Silence and I have 5 others in our sights, 200 yards are closing slowly. Do you want us to pick all of them off or give them a warning, Badman, sir? Over." We sat in silence, watching them close in at least to 150.

"I want to casualties. Brain, Moon. I want you two to take the taller one. Princess, run the shorter one through his right shoulder. I want him down and dropped. Silence, I want you to cover me as I pick off the rest, aim for arms and legs only. On my count. Over." The line went silent and I sighted in on the shorter one. His shoulder was an easy aim.

"Yongguk gave you the easy aim. He doesn't want you to mess up like last time. So don't ing mess up or you have his to deal with tonight."

"Yes, sir."

"That's what I like to hear." For Junhong. For Junhong. Don't mess up. For Junhong.

"Three," Yongguk's voice rang through our ears, and I made sure my sights were locked, "Two...One."

I pulled the trigger, watching the bullet go right through his shoulder, making him grab it and drop down to one knee. Youngjae and Jongup jumped on the other one while shots came from right next to me. I smirked at my triumph and clutched at the picture in my pocket.

"You know, I could really use a nice massage. Are you good at that?" Park looked down and laughed a bit while Kim was crouched down, rolling his shoulder back and forth. I glared at the floor, trying to conceal my look.

"No, sir."

"If you do it, you won't have to do push-ups." Did he really think that would tempt me? Is this all a whole ploy so I won't have to do push ups like the regulars, but still do something? Because if so, I'm fine with doing push-ups until my arms fall off.

"I came here expecting to do push-ups, not become a masseuse...Sir." He huffed and stood up, still not giving up and just giving me more push-ups.

"Come on, Kim. I bet anyone here would want to be in your position. Am I right?" He looked around, getting 'Yes, Sir' from almost everyone around.

"If they want to do it, why can't they do it for me, sir?" This time I looked up at both of them, Park just surveying the situation. Did that want to see my subordination?

"It's easy, Princess. Just do it." I took in a sharp breath and stopped doing the push-ups. Not here, not now, not ever.

"Sir, I will sit here and listen to whatever you have to say to me and I will do most things that you want. However, I will not become a dog and do things for you while you call me that. You want me to run, I'll run. You want me to do 100 more push-ups, I will. I came here to develop as a soldier and an agent, I didn't come here to learn how to give people messages. I was already North Korea's , I don't need to become yours as well, sir." I could feel the air stiffen around us and the tension built from the other officers around. Kim got real close to my face, staring me down at my unmoving form.

"Can you say that to my face easily, Corporal Kim?" It was a threat. After I gave my answer I knew I'd be eating the grass in front of me, because I wasn't going to make it to lunch.

"Yes, sir."

"100 push-ups added on to when you finish this set. I do not tolerate insubordination from anyone, even if they're only here for two months. If your act doesn't shape up, your arms will." He moved on to the next person, but everyone's eyes were still on me, even Park's.

I had made myself clear to them.

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1200

"You're actually really dumb you know that?" Youngjae hadn't left my side after I finished my push-ups. It took me only 20 more minutes to do them after they had finished, and I was in time for lunch. I guess they get longer to eat here.

"And you're really dumb to tell me that." The lady in line piled on more food to my plate, and I looked down at it. Hey, it's not that bad considering this is the military. I can tell the difference between my meat and my soup.

I turned to go sit down at the platoon table and sure enough, Youngjae made them move so he could sit next to me.

"If I could punch you without getting more push-ups, I would Youngjae, I really would." I picked up my chopsticks and was half tempted to stick it into his eye.

"What did I do?"

“Hey North, you look down.” One of the soldiers sat down across from me and I glared at him. Jae. He was the one who questioned my rank, and now he wasn't even addressing me as his superior. Maybe the chopsticks will go in his eye.

“I have a name; you should use it.”

“But that isn’t your real name, so why would I? Your push-up form is really good. That’s good because you’ll be doing more of them at the rate you’re going.” Oh, this ...

“At least I can do 100 pushups in a row, your weak can’t do one.” My comment drew onlookers all the way at the end of our table.

“At least I don't have to do extra push-ups in the first place.” I rolled my eyes and looked over at the line.

“I thought the South Korean army was supposed to be this strong, brotherly army. It feels so cold here.” He laughed.

“It’s a brotherhood, and I don’t think you’re in that. I mean, we wouldn’t know.” Literally, is he five?

“If we’re comparing me to a male, we should have a better person for me to compare to. You call yourself a real man.” I tsked at the end of the sentence and I knew that set him off.

“I stayed in my country and fought for it.” I glared, that hit a string. Youngjae shifted next to me defensively. This applied to him too.

"Let's try to calm down," Youngjae's eyes shifted to Jae, giving him a warning look, "Both of us."

“Oh, let me stay in the country that tried to kill me and killed my family. That’s a smart idea. You lack a brain and masculinity.”

“And why did they try to kill you? And your family? I guess insubordination runs in your veins.”

“They tried to kill me because I refused to kill South Koreans. I might be reconsidering that right now.” I stood up with one last look and threw my tray on top of his, "Throw this and yourself away, where you belong."

“Just a communist. One a communist, always a communist.” He said it louder, so everyone could hear it. So everyone could focus their attention on me.

“Once and idiot, always an idiot.” I pushed off Youngjae from standing up and went to walk to the door. If I stay any longer, the platoon will have one less member and I'll be in military court tomorrow.

“You also aren’t that great a fighting either. I can see why they dropped you.” I turned towards the door and rolled my eyes.

“I was chosen for my position. South Korea has no choice with who they pick.”

“That’s probably why you’re here.” I turned to him and rolled my eyes again. He wasn’t going to stop was he? I hope he's under my command next week.

“You’re making an of yourself in front of your comrades. I’d stop.”

“The a-“

“Corporal Kim, Private Hwang. I would quiet down before more push-ups are given out. Kim, Agent Mark Tuan is here to see you.” My eyes widened and this was the first time I was caught off guard.

"W-w-what?"

"Come with me you only have a limited amount of time to talk...and I think you two might have a lot to talk about." .

Park turned and started walking through the door and I joined him. Fear rose a bit in my stomach. Not that fear of actually being killed, but like, the fear of a 5-year-old when you have to tell your mom you just broke her vase.

You don't get it HyeIn. Mark risks his job...He took you in realizing this and realizing that if you ran away like this even once, he would get fired and the public would shun him. He put his trust in you, and you just broke it.

"You have about 30 minutes to talk, the supervisor will tell you to come in. We'll be at the shooting range when you come back." He opened another door that when opened, sent the noise of conversation to my ears. I could see him, staring out the window and that's when the anxiety hit me.

It was like a jail, where someone had to open up a cage to let you in. Well, out, but walking up to it made me feel like I was being trapped into a conversation I really didn't want to have.

The light reflected off of his hair and he seemed almost peaceful, his eyes still closed, probably enjoying the sun. The lady there put the metal detector up and down and Park patted my shoulder before turning back through the door. Tuan still didn't look my way, but I was only looking at him.

His forehead was wrinkled, he must have been thinking about what to yell at me. I probably wasn't going to talk much at all. The lady finally opened the door and I could see his head tilt up a bit. How long had he been sitting here, waiting for me? Or..wait...she wasn't going to announce my name was-

"Mark Tuan, Kim Hye-In is here." He snapped up, standing, staring me down. The peace was gone.

His eyes were now on fire.