I looked at myself in the full-length mirror, the jet black floor tiles making my skin pop out even more. Therefore, it made all of my scars do the same. Cuts that had no proper healing time, stitch marks and scarring from horrible or quick medical treatment, and the biggest one. The circle about an inch-and-a-half across that had never fully healed. The one that was given to me by the man in a room across from this one. 

And this was just the front of my body. 

I glanced over at the digital clock near the mirror. 6:45. My pruned skin was a sign that I had been in the shower for all of those minutes passed the hour. I rummaged through the various drawers that were filled with never opened products. Some even with the price tag on them. Finally, I found a hairbrush and went through my hair. My roots were showing their original color and it seemed odd that I didn't have to try to cover it up with dye anymore. I had grown accustomed to my brown hair, but I never did look like me. I looked like the North Korean spy. 

My stomach convulsed when I thought that and I looked down at it. I was North Korean, so why was my stomach betraying me? 

Who is Kim JongUn? 

"He is the Great Leader of-" My stomach convulsed again and I threw the hairbrush down on the floor with such force, it crack one of the tiles. What rule did I just break? And not just Tuan's rules. 

"Who is Kim Jo...Come on MeeYon. Why can't you say that stu...?" I let out a low yelled and kicked the cabinet, blood instantly showing itself on my foot. And I such a robot that I can't feel pain anymore? Or am I just to used to it?

"Choi MeeYon, who is Kim Jong...!" I took a look at myself in the mirror again. How was my brain batting with my gut? My brain wants me to stay, but does my heart want me to?

You only did this for JunHong.

No, you did this for your country. You are a soilder for one of the best natio-

They ruined you and you still want to be one of the-

The only made you stronger!

That's why you're in Tuan's apartment, trying to get your brother out of North Ko-

" Shut up!" My voice echoed through the bathroom and I shrunk down. Tuan better be in his room still.

I put my clothes on and braided my hair, searching for a hair tie. When I found one, I slipped on the house shoes Tuan had thrown at me and opened the door outside. 

"Thanks for yelling at us. I really feel welcomed in this house. First Tuan and now you. Such lovely neighbors." Junior uncrossed his legs and sat up in the leather chair, giving me a smirk. I wasn't staring at him though. I was staring at back of the brown-headed person who was sitting in the loveseat in front of me. The water when on in the kitchen and whatever was on the Tv was overpowered by that. 

"Why are you here?" Was the first thing out of my mouth and my throat squeaked from all of the yelling I had been doing before. Youngjae's head tilted a bit at that.

"Wow. I can't believe you. Don't you have hospitality in North Korea? And what's with your voice? Did you get a cold in the last two hours?"

"I know about hospitality and no, my voice is always like this. Answer my question, why are you here?" Junior let out a little laugh before turning to the Tv.

"It's a house warming party to welcome you. Jackson and BamBam should be coming over soon and I invited Yugyeom for you. He's a good friend of mine and BamBam's."

"I don't like parties. Last time I was at one, those three people tried to kill me." I took one look into the kitchen and I couldn't believe I was thinking of walking in here where Tuan was, but I did. I tried to at least. 

"Where do you think you're walking into?" I rolled my eyes at his ridiculous rule and stood at the entrance. 

"You should have told me that this would happen."

"You think I knew. Yugyeoms coming, you can talk to him. Just try not to let the cat out of the bag."

"Try not to do what?" He turned to my and then nodded his head.

"Ahh, North Korean. Try not to let him know that." I clenched my fists.

"I am not North Korean. I've sought asylum and am now an official South Korean citizen!" The loud talk in the living room stopped and only the Tv was heard. Tuan smirked and I wanted to lunge at him, but my feet stayed rooted to the spot. 

"Maybe you need to go back to that psychologist. I think you're having an identity crisis. You don't see me going around yelling that I'm South Korean when I'm clearly not. Well, is going around yelling that you're North Korean something to be proud of?" He brushed passed me with a bowl of chips and I help myself to the spot, waves of anger fueling up inside of me. How dare he? Put me in a category that leaves me in trash. Saying that I'm the one with the identity crisis. 

I my heels facing the living room, but someone, no Youngjae, was in my way. I looked up at hi, his eyes full of pity. I hated pity, especially when it came from him. 

"HyeIn-Dongji are you ok-?" A slap rang out and his head twisted to the left. I didn't notice the tears clouding in my eyes. 

"Yes, Youngjae-shi, I'm fine. You don't need to ask."

"I think you need to talk to her in your normal accent so she understands. How does it go? It's all deep and-" Junior saw where Tuan was going and hopped on. 

"No it's not like deep, it more like you have something stuck in your th-"

"Would all of you shut up?" Junior's face paled, but Tuan kept looking at me and eating chips. 

"You and Youngjae are going to have to figure out how to get along without our help."

"Oh, Youngjae and I?" Tuan nodded and changed the channel. 

"No one put any restrictions on murdering him. I mean, South Korea does, but you can escape like you escaped the North. I mean, you didn't escape, but-"

"Hyung-nim." Youngjae twisted his head back to look at me. I probably had a confused look on my face now, but Youngjae looked timid. ...Without our help?

"Who said you culd call me Hyung-nim? It's Sunbae-nim. What are you oing to call Hye-In in bootcamp? I mean, what did call her before you left?"

"Bootcamp?" I was staring directly at Youngjae. His gaze didn't move from my eyes either. 

"You didn't tell her?!" Junior whispered harshly to Tuan who just let out a laugh. My eyes widened as it all connected. No way. Now fuc-

"I was going to," Youngjae spoke up with a slight cough, "But she walked in here before I could." He was putting the blame on me now? 

I lunged at him, I started it, I'll admit that. I knew he wouldn't fight back, but I wanted him to. I wanted to smash his head into the floor so I wouldn't have to see his face. The face I one wished to see so dearly. Little naive MeeYon is no more. It might be with the name change, but I wanted Yoo Youngjae gone. Maybe out of my sight, maybe out of my life like he was before. And, I didn't know how much anger I had built inside because of him, but right now it was coming out. 

Until he flipped me over and the door opened. He forced my arms to the floor and put his head close to my face. I wonder if he saw the anger in my eyes this time.

"Noona, what are you doing?" My eyes widened and I pushed him off of me with my feet, standing straight up to a confused Yugyeom. 

"Just showing the newbie how to flip someone over easily." He gave me that look and let out a tiny laugh. 

"What a great way to welcome me to your house for he first time. Where do I put these?" He turned to Tuan and he tilted his head to the kitchen. Yugyeom started walking into the kitchen and I followed him, forgetting about what had just happend until Yugie left, until a throat cleared. 

"Rules." Tuan whispered under his breath and I looked at Yugyeom in the kitchen, almost waiting for me to come in with him. That's when I realized, no one could do anything until Yugyeom left. I put one foot on the kitchen tile. 

"Yah!" The eyes snapped to Tuan and he was quite aware of his position then. He couldn't do anything but get up off the couch and walk in behind me.

"You should help Yugyeom Hye-In, he's the guest." He quickly covered his tracks and Yugyeom gave me another look. What was going on in that mind? 

"Oh, I hope you don't mind Noona, but I called a few of our friends to come. I mean, it's the first party you've ever thrown at your house, and she's been bothering me real badly to let me see you. She says you never answer her calls or texts." He opened the food cartons he brought and Tuan turned to me. 

'She?' He mouthed. I shrugged. 

"Yah!" Tuan yelled and I turned behind me. All the anger flooded back into my system as soon as I saw his face. He took one look at me and backed out again. He was aware of the visitor we had.

"So what's on Tv tonight? Soccer game?" Yugyeom took the trays into the living room, sitting down adjacent from Junior on the couch. Tuan shook his head and walked out, passing me to whisper in my ear.

"Too many North Korean's in my kitchen." 

"Do you want to...eat now or later when the others come?" He gave me the most ridiculous look and if I didn't feel like smashing his face in, I would have questioned it. 

"Later. I want to meet our old friends. Let's watch the game first." He sat down in the loveseat here he left his chip bowl and Youngja sat on the opposite side of the couch. I rolled my eyes and went to sit down. Tuan looked up at me expectantly. 

"Sit down." He gestured to my situation and Junior let out a small laugh, just enough so Yugyeom and Youngjae couldn't hear it, but I could. I was the one to finally smirk and walk over to sit down, leaning on Yugyeom's legs. 

"Who'd you say was coming Yugyeom?" 

"Yah!" There were two this time, and I also was the one who let out a laugh. 

"What is with you and yelling at me when I try to talk?" I asked innocently. Tuan's face was filled with annoyance and Youngjae, well I couldn't even look at his. 

Yugyeom's phone rang in his pocket and he took it out.

"She's here." He pushed my head off his legs and walked over to the door, opening it. I wanted to run back into my room. 

"Unnie!"

____________________________________________________________

"You didn't even tell me you were moving in here! You never answer my calls, can you believe it?" She sat in between Youngjae and Yugyeom. One was the farthest away from women I'd ever seen him, and one was the closest.  

"I'm sorry, Ha-eun. I'm just busy with work." The whole room was focused on our conversation, but that's usually how Ha-eun works.

"I mean, at least to tell me you're moving in was Mark. That's something you had to tell me since then. You know?" Oh God. Please make her shut up. Why does she always go back to the only time I told her that I liked Tuan? I used it for information, too! Can't I just tell her that I a spy?!

"You can't keep secrets with the rest of us!" The tall one said. Was is Chansung? No, Taecyeon. The American one. 

"It's a long kept secret I have to keep it." The Tv was turned off completely when everyone came and was given the opportunity to hear about college stories.  

"How about ones you can tell now?" Yugyeom suggested and I hit him on the legs. 

"I don't have any." He shrugged. 

"Yeah, you were the most boring friend ever. You only went to one party, you did school work like it was religion, you hung out with us, and stayed at your house. I only stuck around you because you gave me food." I rolled my eyes and everyone laughed, except Tuan. Once the other's walked in, he turned back into the stone he was before. He was sitting quietly next to Junho, chips already eaten, staring at me. 

"Why did you only go to one party?" BamBam asked and I shrugged. 

"No! She went to two! It was at the beginning of the year. It was with me, Yugyeom, and that one guy who turned out to be a North Korean spy. What was his name?"

"Kyung-Il?" Yugyeom added and she nodded. Ha-eun now had the attention of everyone. They knew who she was talking about exactly, especially Youngjae.

"Yeah! I think he liked you, Unnie. Too bad he was a spy, he was really good looking."

"She liked him, too! She went on a date with him before he got caught with that stuff in his backpack!" Yugyeom and Ha-eun were the only ones to laugh. 

"I don't remember that. Like I said, I don't remember much about college, I didn't even spend a full year there." I let out a shallow laugh to lighten up the atmosphere. 

"Oh, yeah. Where's your younger brother? You said he came back with you. I wanted to meet him since you said he was so handsome!" 

"He's um..He's-" Noona? Bang! I flinched. 

"He's moving into my place since he needed an apartment close to his job. He had to work tonight." 

"This might sound rude, but who are you? I didn't get your name like everyone else and I'm sitting next to you." 

"Yoo Youngjae. I'm a friend from America who moved here." 

"N-not a friend," I whispered under my breath. I think Wooyoung heard me. 

"What was that?" I wiped the side of my face where a tear had escaped and stood up. 

"I need t use the restroom." Ha-eun stood up along with Yugyeom. 

"Well, I think that's our queue to leave. Yugyeom and I have to go to a graduating class party and I don't want to have to drink extra. Will my car be safe in the parking garage until I come back?" I nodded and she put here arms around me for a hug. I froze and se rolled her eyes. 

"How come you only hug Yugyeom Oppa?" 

"She likes me better." By this time, the others were standing up or putting the plates in the kitchen. Anything to get rid of that awkward air. 

I turned and Yugyeom hugged me. This time I hugged back a little bit. 

"Sleep in your own bedroom and don't let anyone in alright?" He whispered in my ear and I hit him lightly. 

"What do you take me as?"

"You're right, you wouldn't do anything with Youngjae. You were just showing him some moves." I hit him over the head this tie and pushed him towards the door.

"Bye!" Ha-eun yelled and everyone responded back. She grabed Yugyeom's arm and waved to me again. 

"Sleep in your own bedroom and don't let anyone in, Kim Yugyeom." I said down the hallway. 

"No promises!" Ha-eun reddened and I rolled my eyes again. It had to be her that he asked out, but it was cute. The only thing I thought was cute. I closed the door, but realized after I did that, I would be treated like the spy again. Why couldn't everything be like when Yugyeom is around? Because I was born North of the armistice line? 

"Yah! Kim Hye-In, who said you could go into my kitchen without me in there?" I leaned against the door, eyes closed and head up to the ceiling. Tuan had obviosly whispered that to me form the love seat while the ohers were messing aorund in the kitchen or on their phones. 

"Yugyeom did when he walked into the door and made me human to you again."