*sent away as a girl*

My parents are home already?
Why?

I am rushing to back inside, straight up to Taeyang, not knocking on his door, and bumping into him right away. He is wearing his jacket and shoes. Is he going somewhere?

“What did my parents tell you?!”, I am straight up screaming into his face, grabbing his arms and staring into his eyes like a psycho.

Taeyang is gently grabbing my hands and pulling them down, making my grip loose. I can tell that he is still kinda disappointed in me for kissing Jay in his room.
I am really sorry, but at this point I can’t control my feelings anymore… It is my fault I know, but what am I supposed to do anyway, right? Well, never mind, this is not important right now!

“Well, they flipped out.”, he is informing me, “Your father asked me about your whereabouts. That you’ve not left South Korea, since there is no report about it at the airport… He thinks that I know where you’ve gone to.”

I am gulping, yeah the “I’m leaving for America, looking for my parents”-part was kinda dumb to be honest. I knew my parents would ask Taeyang first.

“What did you say?”, I can’t help but be nosy right now.

My heart is pounding and I am shaking, as if there is an earthquake in me, as if a volcano is ready to rapture.

“I said nothing… I can’t tell them about you being a girl now… That’s your matter”, he is being honest with me, “I heard your mother crying… Your father told me to please come over right now, I guess he wants to talk to me about you, how you’ve been lately doing and what not…”

I am nodding frantically to each and every single word of his. My mother cried? Why do they even care? I am not their son anyway! They have never been there for me! They… they are not my real parents!

“Hey, are you alright?”, Taeyang is interfering my thoughts, “Let’s go over to your place and talk to your father…”

“No, I can’t go there. I don’t want to!”, I am arguing against his stupid suggestion, “I can’t tell my father who I am now… He would disown me.”

Well, I am not his son anyway, so what if he disowns me, right? Who cares?

“Come on, I know you want to see them.”, he is trying to persuade me, “You've missed them a lot.”

He is grabbing my arm softly and pulling me back into the room where I was supposed to sleep. He is instantly throwing a jacket onto me, one of my oversized ones, and leading me downstairs. I am trying to escape his grip, but my girly-self is way too weak. Damn, I really need to exercise!

Outside his mansion, he is loosening his grip, breathing in the cold air and walking ahead. I see, he doesn’t want to force me to meet my parents. I need a second to overthink this. I really can’t look into my parents’ eyes. I am hurt, because I never knew of my adoption. I feel betrayed.
Ugh, what do I do?
I want to see them… I… I need to know how they feel about me.
I miss my mother.

“Yongbae! Wait for me!”, I am rushing after him.

Luckily, he is waiting for me to catch up on him. I need a quick rest, breathing in and out heavily.
While we are walking into the cold night, Taeyang is pulling out a package of cigarettes and offering me one rod.

“I can’t smoke, your father would notice I did, but if you want to, do it”, he is telling me.

He is right, my father would notice right away. I am way too nervous to smoke right now, so I am shaking my head and he is putting the package back into his pocket.
Suddenly my phone is buzzing.

“CL, my favorite guuuuurl! Where you at? We are waiting for you. Shinhwa’s won’t stay open the whole night you know…”

It is Taecyeon. , I totally forgot about them.

“Who’s it?”, Taeyang is asking me and glancing over to my display.

I am clenching my phone with both my hands and holding it close to my chest. I feel guilty. I don’t want my best friend to know that I wanted to meet up with 2PM again after all that has happened.

“Is it Jay?”, he is asking a little bit annoyed, “Dude, you gotta stop playing with him. In the end you will be the one who gets hurt.”

I am lowering my gaze, staring to my feet as we keep walking down the streets. I am ashamed but at the same time I feel misunderstood by my best friend.

“Don’t forget about who you are, Jiyong.”, Taeyang is determining and grabbing my arm, making me face him, “You are my best friend. You are a guy. You are not a damn girl. We are going to turn you back! I promise!”

I can’t help but nod to his words. I mean, he is right! I am Jiyong! I am GDragon! I am cool! I am rich! I am strong!
I am texting back Taecyeon a short message.

“Sorry, something came up. Won’t make it tonight. Bye.”

Might sound a little bit harsh, but I really can’t deal with 2PM right now.

“Let’s get this done”, Taeyang is grinding his teeth and looking at me very confidently.

I am nodding as we enter the forecourt of my home.
My home? Can I still call it home though?
I am not their son, I am not rich… Maybe I am even not called Jiyong.
Who am I?

Mithra is barking as soon as he sees me. Rushing with fast steps towards me and nearly knocking me over. I am patting my lovely big dog. He has been missing me a lot, I can tell. I am kneeling down and hugging him. I missed Mithra too. My eyes are tearing up, as everything I have lived through in these past seven days rushes through my mind.

“Welcome Yongbae.”, my father is greeting my best friend from afar as he is walking up to us.

Taeyang