*loved as a girl*

I am still awake. My mind is a rollercoaster and Jay is lying next to me. Still fast asleep. I can’t believe what happened hours ago. And to be honest I don’t want to remember it at all! Those pictures won’t go away. Ugh, why can’t I delete my mind? Buhuhu… from now on I might shed tears my whole life.

Jay is turning around and yawning.

“Oi… what are you doing in my bed?”, he is asking me all sleepy.

What I am doing here? WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE?! This is the ing guestroom, which he offered me. But he ended up lying beside me. ! I really wanna kill him right now.

I am gulping as I still feel a lot nervous about what happened few hours ago. And of course I feel terrified at the same time.

“Ugh… my head aches…”, Jay is mumbling and covering his forehead with his arm, “Did I do something to you? Why… am I lying here?”

Huh, finally he realized! ! Goddamn, I wanna kill him right away!

He is lifting the blanket and glancing down his body, checking if he is . Luckily he is not! OMG, if that was the case, I would be dead. Definitely dead, because of shame, being disgusted and horrified. No way. I would rather die, than being ed by Jay! Not that it wasn't close to it… Damn! I want to throw up! I want to… punch him.

“Chaelin… I… I am really sorry… I didn’t mean to intrude your privacy…”, he is apologizing and straightening himself.

His upper-body looks unbelievably y. AH! WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING?! NO! Jiyong, stay focused! YOU ARE A GUY! NOT A GIRL!

“Look, I did not force you to do something you don’t want to, did I?”, he is worrying, his brows raised sadly, “I… I… Ok, I am a boy… and being drunk makes me all tipsy… and… maybe … I don’t know!”

He is blushing all of a sudden and becoming shy.

This is getting worse each second passing. Eww, he can’t be serious about becoming like this, just because I am a girl. no!

“Get out of this bed, you !”, I am shouting at him, making him shrug abruptly, “I couldn’t sleep at all! How am I supposed to survive school today?! Huh?”

Jay’s shyness is gone. He is stretching, pulling the phlegm and staring at me while clicking his tongue.

“Obviously I didn’t you, so calm your , will ya?”, he is assessing harshly and standing up somehow really pissed at me.

Wow, his mood changed in an instant.

“But you kissed me!”, I am screaming, voice becoming all deep and powerful with anger.

“And you didn’t stop me.”, he is adding.

I am frowning at him, even though this image of his right now makes it difficult for me to focus on being angry. Goddamn, why is he standing half- in front of me like this?!

“I… I was paralyzed! I didn’t expect an like you to come all over me and-”, I am yelling, but he is cutting my words.

“Oh come on, I am sure you enjoyed it.”, he is assessing proudly, “A guy like me kissing you must be an honor for you.”

“I managed to push you down!”, I am informing him, “I can’t believe you tried to top me, while I was asleep!”

Jay is walking around the bed and standing still in front of me. I am sitting on the bed, holding tight my phone and staring still angrily at him.

“I didn’t mean to top you… or touch you in any way…”, he is telling, kneeling, looking deeply into my eyes and pouting, “I really am sorry… I mean it.”

I am sighing and clicking with my tongue too. Looking at him with that gaze, which stands for “ YOU AND YOUR APOLOGY”.

“Dude, you! I will look for shelter somewhere else.”, I am saying and about to stand up, when Jay is suddenly grabbing my arm and making me sit back.

“Look! Again… this attitude of yours…”, he is stammering, “You… you drive me crazy! You are so different from all the girls I have known. Your father raised you up like a boy, eh?”

I am again frowning. Who is he to talk about my father?! He doesn’t even know him! I am a boy and I will always behave like a boy!

“Sorry… ok?”, he is again apologizing and standing up, “You can stay at my place as long as you want to… I can stay at Taecyeon’s for a while...”

I am shaking my head.

No thanks dude. Nobody will make me stay for another day in this mansion. I don’t trust Jay. I should have listened to Taeyang. He was right!

Jay is shrugging disappointed and then leaving the room. FINALLY!

I am standing up and changing into other clothes of Jay’s. I need to buy some clothes for me today. I really don’t want to wear anything that is related to my enemy.

I don’t want anything that is his!

First class is about to start. Every student gathered in the gym, because of the M.A.M.A project thing. I left Jay’s place before him. He ain’t here yet. But his ex is. Yubin is throwing flames at me with her eyes. She looks like she wants to kill me right away. She probably recognized Jay’s clothes that I am wearing.

Hah, serves you right !

Her friends are all standing by her side and chit-chatting with her, probably badmouthing me. But you know what? I don’t care.

“Good morning!”, Taecyeon is greeting me and putting his arms around my shoulders.

This dude is huge. I am literally looking up to face him.

“So, what makes you wear my buddies favorite shirt?”, he is asking me.

FAVORITE SHIRT?! No way! Why on earth did I pick this one out of all pieces?! Dear Lord, do you hate me that much? Ugh, well… Jay has a good taste. At least.

I am gulping as I don’t know how to reply.

“Oh, CL!”, Chansung is calling for me and standing still beside me, “I see… you had an amazing last night, huh?”

WHAT?! Geez, why are they thinking this way?! Boys... tsk.

“N… no…”, I am stuttering.

Why the hell am I stuttering?! What is the problem? Why can’t I talk normally?

JunK, Wooyoung, Junho and Nichkhun join us. They are all looking at me. Grinning internally and whispering secretly, while glancing at me briefly.

“Oi!”, Jay is finally showing up, catching Taecyeon’s arm and making him let go of me, “What’s up guys?”

Well, at least I feel a little bit less pressured with him around. Man, his gang is really nosy and having a great fantasy about others. Imagining things like this… tsk.

“You tell us.”, Chansung is countering, “Why is she wearing your favorite one?”

Jay is finally looking at me and immediately frowning.

“Why the hell are you wearing this?!”, he is