*kissed as a girl*

What is this awkward situation?! Jay is silently staring at me, not saying a single word. His mouth is shut tight. He does not need to speak right now, because his eyes say it all. Lust. It is definitely lust that is reflected by his eyes. Jay is slowly reaching down his left hand and softly holding my side, grabbing the clothes that belong to him but I am wearing. Is he… IS HE GIVING IT A TRY TO UNDRESS ME?! 

HELL ING NO! No! NO WAY!

I need to kick him right away! Now is the time for the nutcracker. I gotta kick his crotch!

“You should wear some thicker clothes.”, he is ordering, straightening himself and taking place to my feet.

Wait, so he was not thinking of it? It… it is just me imagining things! Damn it! What is wrong with me?! Since I became a girl, my mood and actions changed a lot. I can’t recognize myself each day passing.

Jay is looking up to the ceiling and sighing.

“I would have tried it.”, he is suddenly assessing and glancing at me from the corners of his eyes, “But, you are on your period. More important… you are not my type. You are ugly.”

WHAT?! Ugly?! He would have… tried it? TRIED IT?! So, he was thinking of it?! OMG, somebody help me. I think I am going to throw up.

I am straightening myself up and covering my mouth, movements as I am about to puke.

“Oi! Are you alright?!”, Jay is worrying about me and putting his hand on my back, “Maybe the western food…”

“Oh my god! Just shut up already!”, I am yelling at him and pushing him away, “You disgust me!”

Jay is again raising his cut brow and looking at me kinda unimpressed.

“Tsk. Girls.”, he is assessing like a know-all, “Your breathing before said different. You were definitely nervous.”

What?

As I want to say something, my stone aged phone starts ringing loudly and is interfering our ty communication, THANK GOD!

“Oi?”, Jay is picking up.

WHAT THE HELL?! Who gave him permission to use my phone?!               

I am trying to get it back, but he is keeping me at distance with his spread arm between us.

“Nah, she is out of breath right now.”, Jay is answering roughly, “Yeah, I will tell her.”

Then he is hanging up.

OUT OF BREATH?! What was he implying to?! Who called?!

“Is Taeyang into you?”, he is asking me out of the blue.

So, I guess the person who called was him. GODDAMN!

I am about to answer, when he is cutting my words.

“Uh, never mind.”, he is standing up and throwing my phone on the bed, “If you want to stay at his place  just leave. He is ok, if you come over.”

I am instantly grabbing my phone and clenching it tightly on my chest.

My best friend inviting a girl over? No way! Is he finally opening up about girls? Wait, I might help him change… No… I can’t stay at his place. That is where Tablo and my parents would look first.

Taeyang into me? I need to stay away from Taeyang. He is not to fall in love with me! None of my friends are! No guys! I will turn back to Jiyong and I will be together with Dara. She is the only one for me.

“Bloody-girl.”, Jay is calling for me, making me look up, “If you need something… tell me. I will be going now. Good… night.”

I am looking at him kinda pissed and turning away my head.

He is finally leaving the room, turning off the lights and closing the door silently.

Phew… I survived this matter. At least I am in a warm room and my stomach is filled.

I am leaning on the wall, hugging the giant pillow, while pulling my legs on my body. There I am now. Sitting all alone in a dark room. Abdomen hurts a lot, blood runs out and my feelings are in a chaos. Wait, I need to call Taeyang. I need to tell him that Jay and I did nothing! Yeah.

Phone is tooting. Still tooting. Damn you, pick up already! Come on!

“Hm?”, Taeyang is finally answering my call, “What’s… it?”

His voice is really sleepy and rugged.

“Taeyang… I am sorry that I didn’t tell you earlier…”, I am apologizing a little