It's a date, then

Jaejoong opened his eyes, they felt heavy, blinking a couple of times before he saw Yunho’s face near his, sleeping peacefully, hearing him snore a little... making him smile. 

“You must have been tired...” 

He whispered, his eyes scanning his husband’s soft features, smiling contently feeling the strong arms around his waist. 

Biting his lower lip, knowing his face is blushing as the sting in his reminded him of what happened a few hours ago...  

Looking again at his husband’s face... he did act a little impulsive tonight... a little naughty... but it wasn’t bad...  

Heechul was right... he shouldn’t shy away from Yunho... he is his husband... his everything... if he is to let things out, it should be with him... with Yunho... his Yunho... 

‘My Yunho...’ 

‘It sounds so good...’ 

Jaeoong closed his eyes for a moment, how sweet his life would become... if he could be the love of Yunho’s life...  

Opening his eyes, smiling gently as Yunho’s cute sleeping face welcomed him. 

‘Yunho-ah... my knight in shining armor...’ 

Jaejoong thought giddily. 

‘He saw my bad side, my frenzy panics... yet he still wants to be with me...’ 

‘He knows my past, yet not repulsed by it...’ 

‘He thinks of my happiness before his...’ 

Jaejoong’s eyes lingered on the sleeping man in front of him.   

“But... why?” 

He whispered, feeling his chest tightens. 

‘Maybe, he loves me?’ 

‘Love me? What am I? Crazy?’ 

‘Why would he?’ 

‘Is it out of pity?’ 

‘I guess...’ 

‘I’m no one... ‘ 

'Just a broken old doll... like Siwon said...’  

‘I’m useless....’ 

‘He only offered to marry me, because of Jiyool...’ 

‘Because Jiyool needed someone to take care of her...’ 

‘But... when Jiyool is older...’ 

‘She wouldn’t need me anymore?’ 

‘Will it be over, then...?’ 

Jaejoong’s doubts filled his head, he couldn’t help, but feel insecure... fearing that this happiness is not for him... that it’s temporary... that it will end soon... 

‘Jiyool... Yunho... are my family now... I should focus on that...’ 

‘When it’s over... I’ll handle it, then... like a man... But now...’ 

“I’ll do my best to make you happy, Yunho-ah... I love you” 

Jaejoong whispered again moving closer towards the other’s chest, enjoying the warmth, laying his head on the other’s shoulder.  

“I love you, too” 

Jaejoong’s body stiffed, hearing the other’s mumbling, feeling his body hugged closer by Yunho. 

‘He... loves me?’ 

Jaejoong’s eyes watered, looking over Yunho’s shoulder through the window. 

‘Is this real?’ 

‘I’m... I... I... I can’t believe it...’ 

‘He loves me...’ 

Smiling wide as a tear slipped his eye... but the bliss didn’t last for long as the dark thoughts rushed through his head again. 

‘That’s stupid...’ 

‘He is just sleeping...’ 

‘He didn’t mean them... he just responded subconsciously to what I said...’  

‘Or...’ 

‘He could be dreaming of someone else...’ 

‘Those words couldn’t be for me...’ 

‘Why not?’ 

‘If so, he would have said it before...’ 

Jaejoong closed his eyes, as tears fell down his face. 

‘No one would love someone like me... I don’t deserve it...’ 

Siwon’s voice filled his head, calling him over and over... 

‘Useless...’  

‘Stupid’ 

‘Disgusting...’  

‘Ugly...’ 

‘Dirty ...’ 

‘Dumb’ 

‘...’ 

‘Weakling...' 

‘Worthless...’ 

“I know... I know... please stop...” 

Jaejoong whispered trying to fight the voices in his head. 

************ 

Yunho opened his eyes, yawning lazily, stretching his arms up, before he looked around... he was laying on the fluffy covers next to the pool, while the sun was up, starting to shine through the windows. 

  “Jae?” 

Looking around, Yunho didn’t see his wife anywhere... their wet clothes were gone, and a neatly folded bathrobe was nex