People will constantly bring you down, but if you know yourself very well, their words will just go in one ear and out the other. You live for yourself and for the people who matters.

1 week later…

[Lena K. says Jeong Areum ruined her happy marriage]

In an interview two days ago, G-dragon’s wife, known as Lena K. confessed that her four year marriage to the superstar is on the verge of ending.

To freshen up your memory, the two got married secretly in Las Vegas, Nevada, followed by a grand wedding in Seoul, after a whirlwind relationship.

Four years later, the couple became distant to the media. Unlike when they were just newlyweds, they are rarely seen together now, building up curiosity and intrigues. 

Now, it seems like some things are finally going to be cleared starting with G-dragon’s official statement, released Saturday, and Lena K.’s private interview that is currently making a noise in the industry.

“My husband and I are living happily until Areum came back.

In a snap, my marriage was shaken”

Lena K. accompanied by her Mother, is said to have cried almost the entire duration of the interview and is even said to have experienced an anxiety attack.

“Areum ruined my marriage.

She’s heartless and insensitive”

 We tried to get G-dragon’s side on this matter, but his representative said he doesn’t want to comment on it.

 

[Lena K. regarding G-dragon having kids,
“I know nothing of them until now”]

After Big Bang’s G-dragon admitted of being a Father of two to a different woman that shook the showbiz industry, the superstar’s wife finally speak up about it.

According to the former model turned actress, it’s not just her, who knows nothing of the children,

“My husband is as shocked as we are upon learning about the children”

Based on Lena K.’s story, the kids’ Mother, Jeong Areum – GD’s childhood best friend, kept their children in secret in another country. She also said that GD is not completely sure yet if the children are truly his, for Ms. Jeong is known to be in numerous relationships in the past.

With this coming out, people are suggesting for GD and the children to undergo a DNA testing to end doubts.

 

These are what I’ve been waking up to nowadays. Lena is throwing balls of fire at me that I find so predictable and pathetic. Thinking of it, her attacking me is better than attacking Jiyong. But of course, all of these still have an effect on him but at least, it’s not as bad.

It’s been a week since Jiyong and I had our much needed “BFF Time” where we spent the whole night and morning together. We celebrated us being freed from the biggest secret we ever kept, that is our children.

Personally, after that day, I changed my view on the mess we’re in right now. I learned (and is still learning) how to take everything lightly, for overthinking and over-analyzing things will bring me nowhere. I also realized that there’s no point in being triggered every time an article about me comes out. I’m beginning to accept that I’ll be the biggest attraction in the circus for a while, and the best way to not be affected by it is simply not giving a . Now I can proudly say that my worries are now replaced by peace. Peace of mind, heart and soul.

Tomorrow is my first day in Med School. I’m not going to lie, but this is giving me anxiety. The fact that my time will not completely be in my hands anymore is a big factor. With my kids still in an adjustment period with their new environment and new school, a part of me is hesitant to push through with my studies, but after weeks of deliberation, I have decided to go with it. After all, it’s time for me to do what I believe is destined for me to do. That is, become a Doctor again.

Upon getting my admission confirmation, Jiyong and I talked about our new set up. We both know that this year is going to be really hectic to the point where there will be times when I won’t be able to spend much time with him and the kids.

First thing we agreed to is the revision of the house rules. Yes, I made a pretty good set of rules for the kids, but we realized that as they grow, it has to fit their ages as well.

So, to lay them all out, I called for a “family” meeting in the living room. Ethan and Emma are obviously curious and nervous, thinking they’re in trouble.

“Sit…sit” I cheerfully told them. Ethan took the single couch, while Jiyong has Emma on his lap in the long couch.

“OK!” I stand before them with their eyes all on me. “Kids...” I called, earning half smiles from them “You know that starting tomorrow Mom is going to school too, right?” I asked and they just nod “I won’t be here every time you go home from school...but you don’t have to worry because you’ll have your Daddy…Halmeoni…Harabeoji and at times Aunt Dami to watch over you” this made them sigh in relief. I chuckled, “You thought I’m going to leave you with a babysitter?” I asked and they nod at the same time.

“I won’t let that” Jiyong butts in and they giggled.

Ethan and Emma hates being watched by a babysitter after being left alone in the house by one for a said emergency that turned out to be a lie. The kids were left starving because they weren’t even fed dinner. After that incident, I’m not as relaxed to leave them to someone younger anymore. Good thing I have Ms. Smith and Cara around to help me with them whenever I cannot take them with me.

“Daddy and I made a new set of house rules for you guys” I got my handwritten poster on the center table and presented it to them. “Here they are!”

For some reason, Jiyong bursts out in laughter.

I looked at him with narrow eyes, “What’s funny?” I asked as the kids laugh with him. The two doesn’t know what’s in their Father’s head but they’re joining him.

He shakes his head, “Nothing…it’s just that your handwriting is still so horrible…Ethan’s actually better than yours” he teased, making me smirk.

Well, yeah. My handwriting is just so bad that it’s sometimes embarrassing.

                             

I read and explained each rule to them and I must say, these rules are not only for the kids but for us adults as well. Looking at Ethan and Emma, I can say that they are all good with this revised house rules, for they are not giving any negative reaction to it.

“Any questions…clarifications…violent reactions?” I playfully asked, making Jiyong laugh.

After a while, “Mom” Ethan raised his hand. I nod as acknowledgement and he stands up as if he’s doing a class recitation “Do we still have punishments?”

Punishments. Back in Chicago, I have this one major punishment for all their violations, which is “Timeout”. It’s the most common of all, but trust me when I say that it’s the most challenging ever, especially when emotions are really high. What I do is, I time their timeouts according to their age and it will add up until they’re ten years old, because I feel like I need to think of another punishment once they become teens.

Deciding on the punishments is not easy, I’m telling you. Jiyong and I even argued about it. We all know how weak he is when it comes to our kids. He’d rather just sit them and talk instead of giving punishments. Fortunately, we were able to meet in the middle and came up with good ones.

I cleared my throat and looked at each kid intently “Well…” the two are antsy. Jiyong even have to hold Emma’s hand so that she won’t bite her nails. “We still have timeout” I said, getting cute frowns from the two “That’s for strike one” I follow up “For strike two…you will not be allowed to go to the park for the day” this is when I received big reactions. Ethan gasped while Emma looked at Jiyong, shocked with wide open.

Going to the park for our kids are their version of a night-out. It’s where they party like animals. That’s why not being allowed to go there even for a day is a big deal.

“For strike three” I raised three fingers “You will not be allowed to use any gadgets nor watch TV” the moment I broke this, their faces tightens “To add to that…you will have an early bed time as well…from your usual 8PM bedtime to 7”

This is what I feel is going to happen after today. One of them (I bet it’s Emma) will test if these rules and punishments really work. She has done it before. Our lovely daughter is not just Jiyong’s carbon copy but their personalities are almost the same as well. They test limits and boundaries just to see what’s going to happen. What’s amazing is how they can flip things around to be in their favor.

Of course, one revision isn’t enough. We also did the same with their daily routine. I don’t know with you, but having one really works for us. It makes life kind of smoother.

This time, it’s Jiyong who is going to present to them not in handwritten posters, but a PowerPoint presentation.

“O…k!” he excitedly rubs his hands together and grabbed his tablet on the table. It’s his first time doing this, which explains the excitement. “I know you guys already have a routine made by Mom” he started, earning nods from the kids “But just like the house rules…your routine needs some changes as well” he gave out a wink that made me smirk. Just imagine Jiyong in a company meeting, winking here and there. Oh, I’m sure women are gonna go crazy.

             

In all fairness to Jiyong, he is good at this. He keeps on dropping jokes or making funny movements, lessening the seriousness.

After his presentation, Emma stood on the couch, getting our attention. “Don’t we have to follow anything on weekends Daddy?”

If in the past I made sure that we are still following a routine even on weekends, I decided to scratch it completely after Jiyong convinced me that weekends are supposed to be free days, just like a vacation, where you’re not obliged to do anything, except rest and have fun.

“Are you sure you can handle them with just you around?” I asked him while I’m washing the dishes and he’s wiping the plates dry.

He hissed, “How many times will I have to tell you that I got this?”

Not that I’m having doubts, but it’s really not that easy to handle two kids when you’re not used to it at all.

“Just to remind you Ms. Jeong” he faced me “When Ethan was still a baby…I always watch over him whenever Omma and Appa are busy and Noona cannot drop her work to come by...I even bring him at work”

Yes. Jiyong did that. He was so hands-on with Ethan that our son is more comfortable with him than me. I also won’t forget how the Big Bang boys babysit him each time Jiyong needs to record or do something. There are a lot of funny stories that whenever I remember them, it never fails to give me a good laugh.

“Just do what you have to do and leave the rest to me” Jiyong knows about my worries and he always gives me a boost.

It’s a new day and I’m back to school once again. I left the kids with Dami-unnie because I won’t be able to drive them to school until this semester ends, for our classes starts at the same time. There is a slight meltdown from Miss Emma but she got over it the moment Unnie gave her a lollipop.

I don’t know why, but for some reason I feel nervous and anxious like a kid on her first day in school. This is so not me. I’m never the type who gets scared to be in school. According to Jiyong, it’s because I know so well that I won’t have any problems with it, given my intelligence. I’ll be a hypocrite if I say he’s wrong because he’s actually right. I’m fully aware, even at a young age, that school is a piece of cake.

The thing now is, everything feels knew to me after the last time I took my specialization courses YEARS ago. Also, I feel a bit pressured during our orientation after professors told me how excited they are to have me as a student and that they expect good things from me. If it doesn’t give you pressure, I don’t know what is.

“Dr. Nam!” the moment I saw her, my nerves slowly calmed down.

The ever reliable Dr. Nam is teaching as a part-time in this Med School. She helped me with a lot of things, like what program to take and the extra classes I have to consider taking. She gave me a heads up about the professors as well. I know who to watch out for and who to take easy.

With the brightest smile, she gave me a hug “How’s our student?” she asked, sounding like a mother.

I sighed, “Nervous…giddy…anxious” I replied “I’m a huge ball of emotions right now and I don’t know where to place them”

“Ya!” she hit my arm lightly “In case you’ve forgotten…YOU ARE Jeong Areum…A genius…I’ll bet my whole damn career on this…you’ll ace every subject with not much effort”

Who knew this woman is going to add up to the pressure as well?

“This is chicken for you” she added.

Is it? You know, sometimes I wonder, what if I’m not as intelligent as I happen to be? And, what if I fail my subjects now and don’t even do well in class? It sure is going to make others nuts, for they expect so much from me. But, I think I’ll just be cool with it. Oh no. I won’t. Because failing means I won’t be able to go back to service yet.

My morning classes went smoothly. Aside from the surprised faces from some of my classmates upon seeing me entering the classroom, everything is cool. Thing is, I feel a little out of place. I don’t know, maybe I’m just too serious and focused that I forgot to socialize even if we’re doing nothing much yet.  Truth is, my classmates don’t talk to me. I don’t know why, but maybe they’re intimidated as well like our professors who are vocal in saying that my presence alone makes them nervous, all because they feel like I will correct them every time they make mistakes.

First off, I’m not that kind of person. As long as the mistakes are corrected right away, I’m not going to say a word.

Five hours in and I’m pretty exhausted. Years ago, I won’t mind being stuck in class for hours. Maybe I’m still adjusting. I’m giving myself a week to be in good condition.

“How are things going there?” I am on the phone with Jiyong. I have a half hour gap until my next class, so I took the chance to check on him and the kids. They are at Dolce Vita right now, after the kids bugged him to bring them there.

“We’re good” Jiyong answered “The kids just woke up from their nap and are begging me to take them to the lake”. I can hear Emma laughing in the background. It uplifted my spirt.

I giggled, “Take them but please…don’t let them pick rocks anymore…last time they were there I have to deal with so many rocks at home because they want all of it to be displayed...drag is…I don’t have shelves to put them into” I told him and he laughed.

“Aigoo” Jiyong sounds tired. He rushed to the kids straight from rehearsals to replace Dami-unnie who has an emergency meeting to go to.

Big Bang’s comeback preparations are becoming more intense as the date comes near. Not to mention, he’s dealing with Lena more than ever now.

This will surprise you. About four days ago, Jiyong decided to move out from their house all because he cannot take seeing his wife anymore. Can you believe it? He finally moved out. Drag is, he’s not supposed to be the one leaving, instead it’s Lena and her Mother simply because that house isn’t theirs, they don’t have the right to it. Oh well, what’s important is he’s far from them now.  Jiyong is now back in his other apartment, the one that he shares with Unnie.

“How’s your first day going?” his end is so noisy. The kids are laughing like crazy.

“Well…” I assessed my day in my head first “I feel lost” I answered honestly “I feel pressured…but I’m getting by” I finished with a sigh and stared at the big clock in front of me. I’m sitting on the floor of the Pedia-Neuro wing. The only place where there are not much people around.

It took Jiyong a while to respond because Ethan asked him for the remote control that none of them can find. Turns out, Emma is hiding it so that her brother cannot change the channel. “Areumie...” the way he calls me makes me smile “What’s all this about? Why are you pressured?”

Yeah. Why?

Ever since I was young, people’s expectation of me is already high. Too high that it even reached a point where my Parents nearly forced me to learn a new language in less than a month just because they want me to have a new skill to show off. Fortunately, they got into their senses, realizing that I’m not a robot that can store data in a flash.

I learned how to handle the pressure the easiest way and that is, brushing it aside. For some reason now, I cannot brush it off my system. As much as I don’t want to be burdened by it, I strongly feel it.

“People expect so much from me as if I’m some kind of a supernatural being…and because of that…I suddenly want to be on top of everything even when I’m all cool at just being an average student” I told Jiyong with tears in my eyes “I cannot help but think about my parents…they tried so hard to make me live a normal life even when I’m different” at this point, my tears rolled down my cheeks already “I can her them telling me to just go with the flow…to take it easy…at the same time feeling like they don’t want me to just settle on being average because it’s not what I’m made of…that I’m more than that”

This situation is bringing back a lot of memories from when I was still a student where I’m never normal. During those times, I feel so isolated yet special.

Isolated, because other students see me as this high wall they cannot ever climb. I’m a limitation. They see me differently because “I know so much”. They think of me as someone who knows no fun and only has her books as friends except for Jiyong.

Special, because all of the teachers favors me. They give me the best seat in class. I’m always given the best roles in everything. I can even come in late once in a while without being scolded or punished, all because it won’t matter if I miss a short lecture, for I can cope up right before everyone in class was able to copy everything on the board.

“Hey” Jiyong snapped me back to my senses “What do I always tell you when you were still in college and is struggling to fit in because you’re so uptight?”

I smirked, “Loosen your up” I chuckled “Don’t go constipated all the way”

He laughed, “Do just that Areumie…don’t be too hard on yourself…there’s no need to dwell into this because we know what you’re capable of…whether or not you come up on top is not important…what people say isn’t either…all you have to do is give it your best shot…if your best is not good enough then fine…at least you did what you have to do”

Good words is all I need I guess. Because, after talking with him I feel so much better. Maybe I’m just so overwhelmed by the attention given to me, that’s why I’m being like this.

My afternoon classes are quite draining. It’s only the first day but we were given a quiz already. According to Professor Shin, it’s to asses where we’ll be falling in his class. In all fairness to me, I got a perfect score even without reviewing.

By the end of my last class, I received a text message from Dr. Nam saying that she’s at a coffee shop nearby and if I want, we can meet up for some snacks. Of course, I’m all good with it. After all, I’m in need for more good talks.

“GD is right…you need to loosen up” she said after I told her about my conversation with Jiyong a while ago. “You see…there’s no point in feeling pressured because you know so well you’re going to deliver beyond what’s expected of you” she leaned back on her chair comfortably, “You’re just not confident in yourself…that’s why you were shaken…Areum…” she looked at me intently “You are a proven genius…there are not much of you running around in this world” I always hear this and it always makes me feel proud “You have a super brain…use it damn well! Don’t be afraid to show people what you’re capable of!”

Goodness, if I use my brain to its full power, I don’t know what will happen because I haven’t really tried it yet.

We agreed not to talk about Doctor stuff after that, but she told me about this one patient who is already brain dead but has a family who fights hard for his life. I find this very inspiring because even if there is only a slim chance of that patient waking up, his family isn’t giving up which means they love him so much to let go.

“So…” she clasps her hands and leans forward “How are you and GD doing?” I know she will ask this.

I emptied my plate of strawberry shortcake before answering, “We are good” I said plainly “We still get bad news one after another…but it’s all fine”

She shakes her head, “That wife of his is really no good…I knew it from the very start”. I nod in agreement. “I’m still in awe of how good she is in twisting the truth…but I’m more amazed by how gullible people can be…they believe so fast and judges blindly”

Well, it’s always been like that. People nowadays believe everything they see on the internet even without enough proof. They can easily point a finger to someone and say bad things as if the person doesn’t have feelings. These people gets so carried away by what others say that even when they are not bad, they turn into one because that’s what the internet made them do. You see, there’s so much hate in this world already, there’s no need to add up to it. All we have to do is be considerate of each other. Have a heart, even to those people who did wrong. We only know a small portion of their sufferings. Put yourselves in their shoes and do what you do to them. Feel for yourself the amount of pain you’re giving them. Let’s not throw stones at each other, rather let’s give each other tight hugs because I promise you, it goes a long way.

“How are things now that he’s out of their house already?” Dr. Nam is firing questions.

I chuckled, “You mean the asylum he’s in for years?” I joked, making her laugh hard. “Well…he’s happier now”

“And how are you with all this?” she is really on the roll.

I pull out an honest answer from deep inside of me. “Honestly…I feel like things are slowly falling into their right places…I mean…maybe the kids being found out is really bound to happen earlier than planned…and…Jiyong moving out of their house is an indication that he’s totally serious in ending everything with Lena…we may be faced by a lot of problems now but it doesn’t seem to affect us greatly unlike before” I smiled “There are times when I feel excited to wake up in the morning knowing that Jiyong doesn’t have play hide and seek with the media just not to be caught by the media” my voice sounds so girly. I don’t know where it came from.

Dr. Nam didn’t say a word. She’s just weirdly staring at me with a cheeky smile on her face. I can sense that she’s trying to see through me. “You’re feeling the excitement you missed for years” she speaks out and it got me confused. “Before when your kids are still a top-secret…all you feel is worry and fear of being caught…now that they’re no secret anymore…you can finally feel good about it...because a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders already” she explains.

I cannot agree more. Now that we’re not hiding anything, things suddenly felt right.

“With your kids now out in the open and with GD eagerly fighting for his freedom…can I ask…”

Oh my! Here come the tough questions.

“What’s the real score between you two?”

Nerves all pent up, I take a deep breath and honestly answered, “Well…”

                                                                                                                                               ****