Change is inevitable. It is part of life, a phase that will test your maturity. Stressful – this is what it is to most of us, especially when you’re not fully ready for it. But what can you do? It has been done. Live with it, or stop growing.

Jiyong’s emotional outburst a while ago is totally unexpected. I never thought he will act like that, EVER! What I pictured in mind is, he’s just going to warn me about Hong Shik, be extra protective, without being very emotional. On the other hand, I’m very touched. His actions just proved how much he cares for me, and I truly appreciate it.

I came back to Hong Shik after sending Jiyong off. He was playing the black acoustic guitar that he always uses in his gigs. There’s always music in my place, for Jiyong and I loves it so much. We listen to songs that suit our mood during that day, or we’ll turn on the radio and hear random songs. Tonight is different, because I feel like I’m being serenaded by superb guitar playing. Hong Shik doesn’t have to sing to make you feel a song, which for me is an amazing talent.

“Keep playing” I told him when he stopped upon seeing me. He moved to the side, giving me space on the couch to sit beside him. “Do you like music?” he asked, looking at me with his signature cute smile. I nodded. “Jiyong got me into it. I remember going all hip-hop in junior high because of him. I didn’t reach the point of wearing baggy clothes and speaking loosely though”

Hong Shik’s smile widened, as he started playing his guitar again. Watching him, I cannot help but be fascinated by how skilled he is. I suddenly remembered the time when Jiyong and I attempted teaching ourselves how to play the guitar….

It was a sunny, mid-August day. He picked me up at my house and brought me to store full of musical instruments. We looked around, obviously without much knowledge of mostly everything that’s in there.

“I feel like buying a guitar” he ran his fingers on the side of a shiny brown guitar. I smirked. “Waste of money. You don’t even know how to play it”. I’m not interested at all, for the only instruments I like so much is the piano and cello, which I learned at the same time at the age of five.

He looked at me and made face. “This is going to be cool, just imagine us jamming together”. I rolled my eyes. “Do you even have time to jam at this point when you’re too busy training at YG?”

For seven months now, Jiyong has been occupied with his training at YG Entertainment where he’s under contract for almost a year already. He’s so serious about it that his time for other things are too short to all be attended to. I rarely see him, but we talk over the phone every day.

A little disappointed of what he heard, he sighed heavily and faced me fully. “I’m truly sorry for not making time for you Einstein”. His voice really has regret in it. “I know you understand” he finished and all I can do is smile.

His dream of being a hip-hop artist has never been so strong until YG took him in because finally, someone believed in his ability, that is willing to mold him good to be known in the music industry.

“Wait!” I grabbed him by the arm when he’s about to go out of the store already. With a sigh, “Choose the guitar you want, I’ll buy it for you” I gave a small smile, “Just make sure it’s on my budget. After all, it’s just a beginner’s guitar, it shouldn’t cost so much”

Jiyong laughed out really loud, making the salesman and a couple of customers to look at us. With his arm around my shoulders, we walked in front of the racks of guitars once again. This time, he’s overwhelmed by so many choices.

“This looks nice” he pointed at a red guitar. “Get it” I said, confidently for it’s cheaper than I expected. He looked at me and chuckled. “Where’d you get so much money?” his suspicious eyes got me laughing. “Did your Appa give you extra, aside from your allowance, again?”

My Appa have this habit of slipping in money under my pillow from time to time, for me to have extra to buy what I want. Omma doesn’t know this is happening, though she has an idea.

I called the salesman that has been watching us like a hawk the moment we stepped in the store. From the way he looks at us, I can tell that he’s thinking we are just two teenagers, up for trouble. “Can we take a look at this Mister?” I politely said, but he looked at me suspiciously from head to foot.

Jiyong and I looked at each other and checked ourselves. We are dressed decently. Well, his baggy clothes are a little off, but he smells and looks clean.

“This costs quite a lot” Mister Hawk eye said, just holding the guitar.

At this point, both of us know what Mister Hawk eye is about, and we’re not going to back off. We came in with pure intentions, and being belittled is not what we deserve.

With the wrong buttons pushed, Jiyong take in a deep breath and shoved me to his other side. “We will buy it, Mister”. They are now in front of each other, and all I can do is wait for what’s going to happen. “We want to take a look at it first” he continued. It’s my first time hearing a man’s voice in him.

Giving in but still cautious, Mister Hawk eye gave him the guitar. Jiyong, who doesn’t even know one chord, strummed it. He looked at me, smiling widely with his gums showing. “What do you think?”

Still not convinced that he’s going to learn how to play it, I just said “It’s really nice”

“We’ll get this” he proudly handed it to Mister Hawk eye who is up until now, is still suspicious of us. To intimidate him more, I brought out my wallet and pulled out fifteen thousand won, fresh and crisp from the ATM machine.

“Ya!” Jiyong elbowed me “Did you steal from your Omma?”

Offended “NO!” I yelled, making Mister Hawk eye to look at us. “It’s half of my savings”. “Oh? Then, you should not use it” he pushed my hand with money in it away, asking me to put it back in my wallet. “Didn’t you tell me that you’re planning to buy a new computer from your savings?”

I patted his shoulder, smiling. “Happy Birthday, Jiyongie!”

His birthday is only two days away. I actually have some things in mind to give to him as a gift, and a guitar is not one of them but because it’s what he likes, I’ll go with it.

“Aigoo” he stared at me, pouting. “I wasn’t able to give you a gift on your birthday”

Truth is, he forgot about my birthday completely. Usually, he’s always the first to greet me, calling twelve o’clock sharp, singing Happy Birthday in three languages (Korean, English and Chinese). This year, it’s my parents who greeted me first. Also, he didn’t make it on my small birthday party, even though he promised to go. Good thing, his family is there, they’re the ones who filled up for him.

“Mister” he suddenly called Mister Hawk eye, who is impatiently waiting for us to pay. He raised an eyebrow at Jiyong, “Yes?”

Jiyong sighed in frustration and pointed at something. I followed his finger with my eyes. “I want to buy that” he said, with so much confidence. “Yah!” I hit his arm “I don’t have enough money for that!”

He laughed. “Leave it to me”. He sounded really cool, as if his got millions in the bank. “Pay for my guitar now” he said. I looked at him in confusion. “But, I thought you’re buying that” I pointed at the other guitar. Jiyong ruffled my hair. “That’s yours”

“What?” I exclaimed. “I’m all good. Don’t buy it for me. We can share yours anyway” I told him, touched by his thoughtfulness but totally hesitant. He smirked. “How can we jam in that case?” he brought out his wallet and pulled out thick cash!

“WHAT THE!” my eyes go big seeing it. “Did you rob a bank?” I am in awe. He playfully hit the back of my head. “This is my first salary from YG, for being a part of the Hip-hop flex album”

COOL! It’s so much money for a thirteen years old. If only I have confidence to be on stage and is motivated enough, I will definitely join him in training.

Carrying out our guitars (Mister Hawk eye really couldn’t believe that we paid cold cash), we head straight to the Kwons’ house to learn something new, though I’m not yet fully convinced that we’ll do good.

“AISH!” I whined, putting down my guitar on Jiyong’s bed. “This won’t work. I’m telling you, we’re just adding up to noise pollution” I grumbled, as he tried another chord. He stared at me for some time then chuckled. “We’re just newbies. What do you expect? We only have been learning for an hour and a half, and you’re already quitting”

Another hour passed with us trying to make the chords sound better, but I’m hopeless. In all fairness to Jiyong, he has memorized the basic chords already, while I, on the other hand, still need to rely on the chord book.

Usually, whenever I’m faced to something new, I easily get a good grasp at it, given the fact that I’m interested in it. Unfortunately, I’m not that into guitars. I’m only working hard not to disappoint Jiyong. Also, not to waste the money he spent to buy me a guitar.

“Press the strings harder” he instructed, moving behind me. He guided my fingers to the right strings. “This is G”. He wrapped his arm on my shoulders and strummed it.

I hang my head down. “This won’t work”. He chuckled. “Let’s learn one song, just one song and we’re over this”

And that’s the deal. Every night, before going to bed, I practice. My fingers are red already. Jiyong calls me every day to ask my progress, and I always end up whining. Then, my dreaded weekend came. He invited my parents to their house, gathering our families for our first jamming session.

“We’re going to mess up, badly, and we’re going to be reminded of it by our families for the rest of our lives” I grumbled. “What are you saying?” he grabbed my guitar that is lying on the floor and handed it to me. “This is just for fun. We’re not going to be graded. There’s no need for you to be so serious about it”

I really don’t have a way out. Next thing I know it, we’re sitting in the middle of the living room, our families in front of us, expecting so much. Dami unnie even have a video camera in hand to capture the moment.

“Ready?” Jiyong is so calm. He tucked my hair behind my ear and smiled. “This is just for fun” he reminded me, and all I can do is force a smile.

Perfectly as I imagined, we screwed up. Our playing is not in sync (I’m always late in changing chords). It’s no good at all, but our families are all smiles as if they’re hearing a masterpiece. Jiyong knows that we , but he pulled off the same level of confidence before we start, right until the end.

“Told you we’re no good” I sat on the edge of his bed and he threw himself on it, lying behind me. He pulled me back, making me rest my head on his stomach. “Yes, we screwed up, but there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. The fact that we learned something new together and in one way or another, enjoyed it, is enough consolation”

In the end, we decided to just keep our guitars as one of the many souvenirs of our friendship.

“Areum”

“Oh!” I flinched.

“You zoned out way too long” Hong Shik said with a chuckle.

Nothing will really compare to good memories. I love replaying them in my head.

Shaking it off, I stood up and walked to the counter island. “Jiyong left this for us”.

In the bag are our favorite Baked Macaroni and chewy brownies. He even went to Cheondamdong to buy them.

“GD sunbae have taste even in food” Hong Shik ate what supposed to be Jiyong’s food, really fast. I nodded in agreement. “He knows what’s good and what’s not in everything, even in people. It’s another ‘talent’ of his”

The expression on his face, changed. I stared at him, waiting for a follow up question or a comment.

“He doesn’t like me, right?”

I froze.  Is Jiyong that transparent for Hong Shik to see what he thinks of him, or is Hong Shik just so sensitive that he knows how to read people? Either way, I don’t know how to answer his question.

Battling with myself on whether to be honest or not, I take in a breath and exhaled slowly “It’s not that he doesn’t like you. It’s just, Jiyong is not prepared for this” I gave out a small smile. “What I mean is, he’s not expecting me to take you in, knowing that we just met. Also, he’s a little jealous, in a best friend level, which I fully understand coz I feel the same whenever he’s with someone”

Did I say it right? Oh well, I know Hong Shik is not narrow minded.

Hours passed and it’s already midnight. We emptied the bottle of wine Jiyong brought and opened another one to go with our long and seem to be endless conversation. Unlike Joon Hyung, Hong Shik let’s me talk. As a matter of fact, he prefers that I talk and he listens to every story, and reacts wonderfully to it. There’s no dead time. He drops jokes here and there that made me laugh really hard.

“Wow!” I looked at the other empty bottle of wine and shook my head. “The last time I drank this much is when Jiyong broke up with is ex-girlfriend. He didn’t drink as much as I did though, laughing at me because he feels like I’m the one who is brokenhearted”

My head feels like its floating. I’m drunk, but not to the point that I don’t have control of my mind and body anymore. I still know what’s going on.

However, the situation flipped the moment I stood up. My vision is swirly. My head is aching badly.

“OMO!”

My hit the top of the center table, knocking a wine glass to the carpet. Laughing, “I’m sorry. I lost my balance”.

Next thing I know it, I’m being carried in to my room. The moment he put me down, “My bed is more comfortable than the couch, you know”

                                      *****