Being in love is the most wonderful feeling, but it needs a lot of work to have that feeling forever.

I’m now in Melbourne, Australia. The seminar in London wrapped up three days ago, with me saying goodbye to good friends again. Frida promised to visit me in Seoul before the year ends, excited to see me and Jiyong together (she gave up on ‘helping’ me figure things out after I tell her that I already made my decision). As for Dr. Leger, he ignored me for the rest of the seminar (thank God!), though I still catch him staring at me from time to time (still freaky). I told Jiyong about him and he was freaked as well, saying that he will totally go ballistic if that guy do something to me.

Going back to the place where I healed from the loss of my parents, I felt nostalgic. I remember spending every weekend, reading books or just chilling out at Royal Park, eating at Hungry Jack’s after. Back then, I’m just a girl who wanted to leave pain behind and live life the way it should be lived.

“Elle-phant!”

“Jeong A!”

“Korean Queen!”

Hearing these behind me, I know my friends have already arrived. I’ve been waiting for them in our favorite coffee shop, near the university.

I bolted up and turned around, “Hey es!” I shouted, arms widely spread.

Like little kids, they run to me and gave the tightest hugs. It’s been a while since we last get together.

“Oooh girl! You so HAWT!” Robyn said after scanning me from head to foot.

Robyn “THE Bombshell”, is half Australian – half Polish. Thirty years old. Blue eyed. Dirty Blonde pixie hair. Beautiful pointed nose. And, six foot flat in height. She is my soul’s partner, just like Taeyang to Jiyong. We’ve been friends since our first day in college, when I sat beside her during Biology class. We hit it right off because like me, she’s especially brainy as well. Her IQ is almost the same as mine.

Arms out, gripping my shoulders and looking at me, “I cannot believe you’re here!” Lexi followed and pulled me to her for a hug.

Lexi “Ms. Bubbles”, is still so bubbly. American, born and raised in Sydney. Thirty years old. Brown eyed. Brunette. Five’eight in height. Very light to be with. We were roommates from the second semester of our first year (after my original roommate got pregnant) until fourth year. She knows how to comfort us in the best way ever, and gives wonderful advises.

“Hmm…” Phoebe stared at me with a wide smile on her face. “You’re more than radiant!” then she snapped and pointed at me, “You’re in-love!”

Phoebe “The “S” in Sassy” is actually Cooper, five years ago. A transgender. Transitioned right after graduating college. Australian. Thirty-one years old. Born with blonde hair, now a redhead. Blue eyed. One of the best people in the universe. Once upon a time, I had a crush on him, at least until he introduced me to his boyfriend. I met him in the library, when I asked him a favor to reach a book on the top level of the shelf, for there’s no way I can get it. We jive so well even if we don’t have much in common. I introduced him to the girls, and the rest is history.

At our favorite table near the big window, in our hangout place, we have the biggest smiles on our faces. Nothing much has changed, except the two of them are already married with one kid each, and one is engaged to her long-time partner.

“Ow! Liam is such a sweet boy. He’s only one, but I can see so much potential in him as a Pilot. He’s so fond of airplanes and whatnot” Lexi said, cheerfully.

Robyn giggled, “My Anton is also really sweet. He’s two, but can already recite the alphabet and numbers one to one thousand. He’s also very interested in books. We’re actually convinced that he’s also got a ‘super brain’”

This is insane. Phoebe and I just looked at each other and chuckled. Mothers. They are really competitive when it comes to their children. They just cannot lose. I wonder if I’m going to be like them in the near future.

“So…” Lexi turned to Phoebe then glanced at me and Robyn. “How’s the wedding preparations going?” she asked, and for some reason, I grabbed Phoebe’s hand and checked her ring.

It’s HUGE! The elegance of the diamond is shining like the brightest star in the sky.

“Good?” she asked me. I looked at her in disbelief. “What are you saying? It’s MAGNIFICENT!” I expressed with big eyes.

The proposal happened in Ireland, one of the couples’ most memorable places. The guy brought both their parents secretly and have them witness the romantic moment. When I heard about this, I was seriously envious.

She grunted. “Andy doesn’t want to be involved in the preparations. According to him, it’s too much to handle. It’s all cool, for he’s letting me go all-out on this. No budget limit. No, nothing!”

Woah! Oh well, her fiancé has a lot of zeros in his bank account anyway. He’s one of the top real estate agents in the California and New York.

“Are we still going to pass as bridesmaids?” Robyn asked, and we waited in full anticipation.

Phoebe rolled her eyes. “Duh, of course! The three of you are my best girls. If only my sister won’t get mad if to share the position with others, I’ll have the four of you”

Once again, I’m a bridesmaid. The saying, ‘Always the bridesmaid, never the bride’ really applies to me. The dread of seeing your closest friends at the altar with their destined partners for life and at the same time being so happy for them, is torture.

Time passed with Robyn and Lexi still having a friendly competition on whose son is better. As of the moment, it’s a tie. Their babies are just so adorable.

“Stop with talking kids” Phoebe butted in, shutting the two girls up. The moment she looked at me with narrow eyes, I know the spotlight is on me already.

“What?”

“Oh !”

“Yay!”

These are their reactions after I told them, from beginning to end, about me and Jiyong. They have met him here in Melbourne when he had a three day vacation and back in Seoul, four years ago, before Robyn got married. During that time, we’re only the best of friends that they wish to be lovers.

“That’s it? You just made out and confessed?” Lexi still cannot believe it. I nodded. “And you’re now official after a week”

I nodded again. Phoebe slaps on air. “There’s no reason to prolong the wait. They’ve known each other FOREVER! Cutesy courtship is not needed”

Robyn nodded like a toy car display, then frowns. “But, the last time we talked you said you’re dating someone, and you even took him in your apartment”

I sighed heavily. “Yeah. Guy’s name is Hong Shik. He doesn’t know what’s going on between me and Jiyong yet. I don’t have the time to tell him. Jiyong isn’t saying a word to him, I told him not to. I’ll deal with him once I get back”

“Oh…my…gosh!” Lexi exclaimed. “Don’t tell me something happened between you and Hong Shik”

Snap! I’m reminded of it again.

My silence says it all, and their reactions are different from the other. Robyn’s face falls. Lexi’s jaw dropped with eyes wide in disbelief. And Phoebe, is cool about it, winking and giving me a thumb up.

“Does Jiyong know?” Robyn asked and I slowly shook my head. Lexi slaps her forehead with her palm. “!” and Phoebe just laughed.

I feel bad. “I don’t know how to tell him, to be honest. During that time he’s so sensitive about me and Hong Shik, and I know so well that he wouldn’t take what happened, lightly” I explained.

“But still….” Lexi is at loss for words.

“Calm down es” Phoebe butted in. “So what if Elle and the dude ‘rocked the boat’? It happened before the confession. I’m sure Jiyong won’t mind. And, what do you expect from a girl and a boy, in one roof together, to do? Have a staring competition until one falls asleep?  They are adults. It really happens”

This is what’s crazy when you have friends with different opinions. They say different things. Nevertheless, we will still meet in the middle.

After that, Robyn and Lexi dropped it, and all I can do is sigh that it’s over. But, the talk about my budding relationship with Jiyong is just starting.

“Do you think you can deal with all his craziness? I mean, the fame, the chaos, and the perks”

“Well…” I swallowed hard and bit my lower lip while composing an answer in my head. “Yeah. I think so. After all, I’ve dealt with those all these years. I don’t think there’ll be a big change”

“Tell me honestly….” Phoebe reached out for my hands on the table and looked straight into my eyes. “How much do you love him?”

Here we go again. Do I have to drain my mind and heart for this once again?

Smiling sweetly, “I love him more than I expected, and it’s just these past few days I’ve realized it. Before, yeah, I know I love him more than a best friend, but confusion is killing it. Now, I feel more for him, especially I know he’s feeling the same way too. It’s like finally, I found what I’ve been looking for”

Phoebe let go of my hands and slap the table, animatedly. “That’s it! She’s really in-love!” and we all laughed.

For so many times in this trip, I felt so sure of my feelings for Jiyong. Not like what he’s thinking, I’m not just carried away by that unexpected kiss. In fact, that kiss is really bound to happen, for us to have the courage to speak out.

And the unlimited chatting, continues. We reminisced our college years as if it was just yesterday, laughing at our mistakes and regretting the things we haven’t done. I must say, the picture I have in mind of us after graduation is the exact scene of what’s happening now.

“Tomorrow’s the day” Lexi said “We’ll go back to the university and see everyone”

Oh yes! The three day reunion will kick off tomorrow. I’m anxious, for I’ve never seen everyone for a long time. I just wish that they see me normal already, not the genius they always copy assignments and examinations to.

“Andy will arrive tomorrow morning from California to be my date at the homecoming” Phoebe said, and I smiled proudly at her.

“Caden will also go here from Sydney!” Lexi followed.

Robyn clapped excitedly. “Randy will, too! Oh my gosh!”

And that’s where my fun ends. It seems like I’ll be going solo (as usual) tomorrow. Oh well, it does’t matter anyway. But, it’ll be very wonderful if Jiyong is here.

The moment I reached my hotel room, I messaged Jiyong right away. Weird, because he’s not calling or even calling me all afternoon.

  TO JIYONG:

                 How are you doing? Oh, I wish you were here. Met with the girls already. As always, it was crazy. Their hubbies are going here for the homecoming. Not that I’m envious (I actually am, slightly). You know what? I want you here not to have a date, but to finally be with you. I miss you big time, Jiyongie! Call or text me once you get this. I love you!

Morning came and still no calls or tests. I wonder what he’s doing. Maybe he’s so focused on recording again that he forgot about the world again.

With my body, heavy, I dragged it to bath and dressed up for a whole day of charity work. The party is tonight, but before that, I promised to join the university’s medical mission.

In my pure white knee-length day dress, I put on my white coat and get into action. We are checking on orphans. I never thought that I’ll enjoy working even when my whole being is in vacation mode.

The whole day was hectic. I wasn’t able to eat well because I have to attend to a ten month old baby who I suspected to have Primary Complex. No need to worry anymore, for he’s being taken care of by wonderful Doctors in a nearby hospital already.

“This is sick!” I stopped scanning for clothes and slumped on the floor. I only have an hour to prepare for the party.

*Lexi calling*

“Are you preparing already?”

I sighed and made face. “About to. How about you?”

“Starting on my hair now. Are you sure you don’t want to walk down the red carpet with me and Caden?”

“Lexi, I don’t want to be your third wheel. Not anymore”

She laughed out loud. “Gosh! The memories!”

Yeah.

*doorbell*

Odd. I cannot remember ordering food from room service.

“Got to go! Someone’s at the door. See you in an hour!” I hanged up on her and rushed to the door.

“SURPRISE!”

                                                                                     ******