Not looking for love and just up singlehood is kind of working for me. I’m still interested in meeting men (when you’re in your thirties, using the term “GUYS” will make you feel like a cougar), but not chasing them anymore.

One month and two weeks had passed, four date refusals, and seven newborn babies in my care, my life is nothing but normal. Actually, it is beyond normal because aside from the seven newborn babies officially under my care until they grow as teenagers, I have about twenty more, ages one to eighteen years old. Not to mention my other patients in the intensive care. If only my love life is this hectic.

“Doctor Jeong, it’s time for your rounds on the south pediatric wing” my assistant said. Her voice as calm as the kind secretaries in movies and television.

This is my tenth time in thirty hours doing rounds. Yes, THIRTY! My reliever took an urgent leave, leaving me with no choice but to extend duty hours until another doctor comes in. I was able to sleep for a few hours though (but still, it’s not enough).

“Doctor” a boy named Jang woo tugged on my white coat while I’m checking on a patient next to his bed.

I’m in the children’s ward where six kids are enduring the pain of their illnesses. “Hi Jang woo” I greeted with a wide smile on my face. One thing you should learn if you want to be a doctor is how to smile, especially when you’re dealing with children.

I can see the after effects of the little boy’s medication clearly on him. He is suffering from Leukemia. Diagnosed when he was only four years old, now he’s five and still battling it. His parents are minimum wage earners, shouldering his expenses in medication is absolutely heavy, and they are getting by with the help of the government’s health care benefits.

Crouched down to his level “How are you feeling?” I his head and scanned his face. He sighed heavily, “I just finished my power booster Doctor” and he pout “and it’s difficult to handle as usual”.

Power booster – a term I made up to replace the threatening terms, Chemotherapy and Radiation. When you’re dealing with kids, you have to be creative to at least make their painful lives a little less horrible.

I touched his cheek that has lost its pinkish color. “Don’t be sad, just think that Iron Man and Thor has been through it as well”. If only these superheroes are living, I will find each one of them and ask if they can give encouragement to these struggling children.

After checking all the patients, I head to my office, drowsy and with low energy. Sleep deprivation is hell. I don’t know how I made it home while driving with my eyes half closed. All I know is, I’m so happy to be home.

“Oh!” there are grocery bags on my counter island.

And on my refrigerator door…

                Omma and I went grocery shopping this morning and thought of shopping for you too.

                PS: Your month supply of side dishes are in the fridge (Oi-so-bagi overload)

                                *Oi-so-bagi is cucumber kimchi*

                And, I forgot….

                NO INSTANT NOODLES

                See you or talk to you later!

                                                                                                                Jiyongie.

How sweet and crazy at the same time. How can there be no instant noodles?

So, Jiyong is back from Tokyo where he stayed for three weeks, for (according to him) rejuvenation. His musical power is not charging well here in Seoul, so he went to a place he’s confident he can recharge.

It’s also been almost a month since we talked over three minutes on the phone because I’m too busy to spare even thirty minutes for myself. He’s used to it, so it’s not a big deal.

“Hello”. He picked up his phone after four rings. “Thank you for the groceries!” I cheerfully said through speaker phone while preparing to go to bed (at last! I can sleep!). He hissed. “You better eat well from now on coz Omma is going to monitor you as much as she can”. This means that I’m obligated to eat, or else…

“Your duty is insane!” he exclaimed, making me sigh in exhaustion.

Crawling to my pillow, “THIRTY hours” I told him. “I know how that feels, but of course it’s difficult with you since your workload is heavier than mine” he consoled and I couldn’t agree more.

I’m just fighting sleep to at least prolong our conversation.

“Did you know that the number of patients, ages four to sixteen, are doubling up? I have two newly diagnosed cancer patients this month, which is pretty alarming when three years ago, I rarely had one in a month or even two”.

Sharing about work to each other lessens the weight of it. Most of the times, we’re left speechless, just like Jiyong right now.

Areumie tip on friendship: Don’t be afraid to share your burden with your best friend(s). One of the perks of having them is to have someone to release the heaviness you’re feeling. You’ll feel much better after.

“Anyway…” I brushed it off since I’m full of my work as of the moment. “How was your trip?” my voice is softer, close to nothing. I’m really super tired.

It made him lively. “It went well” he said “I’ve discovered new things about music. You know, the ones I missed while I’m in service” he sounded so enthusiastic, it’s refreshing. “I met up with some friends, bonded with them at a newly opened club which feels so weird coz I don’t have the same feel of it unlike when I was in my twenties”.

This made me laugh. “What can we do? We’re old!” I shouted “Maybe it’s really how it is, but I’m sure you’ll get a hang of it. I mean, we see some people in their forties clubbing and they still fit in so well. You’re just living big three-zero too seriously” I finished and he smirked.

As they say, thirty is the new twenty, even when I don’t feel it most of the times. There’s this sense of maturity, that even you have it or not, feels there. Jiyong and I have accepted that we’re over the line of two right after our thirtieth birthdays.

His stories of his trip flowed. He talked about the latest Harajuku fashion, which is crazier than ever. Of course, he talked about music and how happy he is to get back on track. Some of his friends promised to help him with his comeback album that he’s going to start creating once again in a few days.

“Jiyong” I called, my eyes already closed as well as my mind. “You know I love to hear more of your trip, but even my soul is already giving in on sleep”. As much as I hate cutting him off, I need my sleep for if I’m going to continue talking to him, I’ll be fuzzy from the feet up the whole day and it’s not going to be good.

He sighed. “All right” his voice has a bit of disappointment in it. I chuckled. “If you’re free tonight, we can meet up. I’ll treat you to our favorite restaurant”

“Nice!” he snapped. “I’m just going to meet Teddy Hyung and Hyun Suk Hyung in the afternoon. See you tonight!”

I smiled. “Great! See you!”

Eight hours of sleep still doesn’t compensate for the hours I stayed awake. Good thing, I don’t have to work tonight. I can unwind and catch up on my social life (that is merely Jiyong only), and sleep some more.

This is my chance to dress up. We’re dining in a luxurious restaurant where Jiyong and I always eat whenever we’re celebrating something. Who knows, I might bump into my One Great Love there.

Reminder Ladies: Always dress to kill, especially in special places or events. It’s better to be ready for a magical night (or whatever time it is), you don’t want another lady to snatch the limelight that’s almost yours.

Jiyong is already waiting for me at our reserved table. He looks so fine in his black and white ensemble.

“And I’m…” I pulled the empty chair across his, “Here!” and sat on it. He chuckled. “What’s with the dress and neatly tied hair?” He leaned forward to see me closely, “You even have your eyebrows fixed”. Here we go with the teasing again.

I know. I know. My eyebrows are thick and shapeless. I spent the whole afternoon figuring out how to wax it myself. Fortunately, it went well.

“Are you going on a date after this?” he asked, making me sigh. “Would you believe me if I tell you that I’m over chasing for love, at least for the meantime?” I asked, looking proud.

He choked then shook his head. “NO”

I snapped. “Why?”

“Because…” he leaned back and smiled annoyingly, “You’ve been that way for almost two years now. It’s not easy to shed off a habit, you know”

Seriously, he doesn’t believe me?

“I swear! I’m not looking for love as of the moment. I’m even refusing date invitations”. Can’t he just believe me so that this matter is over? “I’ve kissed a lot of frogs already, and I’m done with it”

I knew this would happen. He will not believe me and it’s frustrating. He’s actually the one who made me realize that there’s no need to be in a rush.

“Correction” he put his index finger up “You’ve met a lot of frogs. You don’t kiss them, even on your third date”

Areumie fact: I don’t kiss until I have feelings for the guy already. A soft kiss on the cheek will do, but not on the lips.

See? This is how pure I am.

“Ah!” he snapped his fingers. I raised an eyebrow. “There’s an exception” he said. I got curious.

Who the heck is it? Gosh! Why is his memory sharper than mine?

“Soo Hyuk” he said slowly with a laugh.

Well, since he opened it up, let me tell you the story.

Four years ago, I asked (better say, bugged) Jiyong to set me up for dates. During that time he’s still in a relationship, and I don’t feel as lonely as now. After long conversations and convincing, he agreed. He knows my ideal man, so I trusted him with it. I’m sure he will not set me up with some guy who he knows is not going to do any good. Months passed and he finally gave me a number, but told me to wait for the guy to call. The wait didn’t last long for he contacted me that day as well and I was frozen in shock to know that the guy set up with me is model/actor and one of Jiyong’s closest friends, Lee Soo Hyuk who I see in parties and sometimes, in clubs. We never really had a conversation before. All he knows about me is I’m Jiyong’s girl best friend. So yeah, we decided to give it a try. Our first date was followed by another, and then a few more, until Jiyong’s birthday party came. We went there together. People are teasing us, saying we look good together and that we should really “get it on”. We played the body shots game and it’s already my turn. I get to choose who I want to put salt onto. Usually, I pick Jiyong, but that night and because his girlfriend is there, I picked Soo Hyuk. We’re already so comfortable with each other that it’s really not a big deal. And, when everybody thought that I’m going for a safe spot like arm, hand, or finger, I went for the lips. He was game for it. I some salt off without feeling awkward, took the shot then the remaining off his lips. One thing led to another. With alcohol in our system, we found ourselves making out in a dark corner, thinking Jiyong won’t see us just to know that he actually did. After that night, neither of us contacted each other. I didn’t even bothered to ask him why. My reason, I just don’t feel like it’s right to be with someone who is so close to family.

The end.

After forcing Jiyong to believe my “I’m not looking for love” thing anymore, we ate dinner while talking non-stop.

I told him about my crazy duty schedule and he talked more about his trip. But of course, we cannot leave one topic out…

“You saw her” I said in surprise “but didn’t talk to her or even said hi”

He sighed and took a sip of wine. “I felt awkward. Also, she’s with a suitor according to Xin”

Wow! That was fast. Oh well, when you look good and still young, guys really fall in line.

“How do you feel about that?” I am being careful with my questions, in case he’s not in the mood for it. I don’t want to spoil his night.

He shrugged. “I’m happy that she’s doing well”

“But…hurting” I followed.

He hissed. “You know my take on this. The reason why we chose to separate is because we don’t feel the same towards each other anymore. I admit, there’s still love and care in me for her, but not enough to be together anymore”

I must say, their breakup really shocked me. Actually, to everybody who knows them. They’ve been through a lot for years. All the hiding, the bashing, they survived, but it seems like distance, miscommunication and lack of time took a toll on them, one day finding themselves so near to each other but feels extremely far.

I, and the girl are not that close. She knows I have a tight bond with Jiyong and doesn’t have issues about it. During the years they’ve been together, I can say that I was in doubt if they’ll end up together, simply because they’re too busy with their own lives to care about their relationship. In all fairness to her, she took care of him when she had the chance. Oh well, maybe they’re just not meant for a happy ever after.

“You can always be emotional around me, you know that” I said to him, after a long silence. He smiled and nodded. “I know that perfectly well, Einstein”

“But please! Not in this place” I added, making him laugh hard.

You want to know the difference of Kwon Jiyong and G-dragon?

G-dragon is so chic, people see him as an arrogant person. He gives this carefree feeling, as if nothing really bothers him. He’s also cold looking. His got a blank face most of the time. Kwon Jiyong, on the other hand, is also chic but is not arrogant at all. As a matter of fact, he’s one of the most humble person I know. His generosity is something he can really brag about, not asking for anything in return. He’s cautious in everything he do, because he doesn’t want the people who he cares about and cares a lot for him, to worry about him. He’s the warmest of all. His heart is so soft, cry in front of him and he will do everything to hush you, even willing to give you the world if that’s what’s going to make you stop from crying. His smile can make even your soul smile. His laughter can bring your spirit up.

“I got something for you” he grabbed the paper bag under the table and pulled out the most random things in the planet.

“What the!” I cannot continue. We are in a grand place, cursing out loud will be so embarrassing, so I just shut up.

Hair curlers that are designed as a dragon. A soup bowl that lights up when you put something hot in it. Different chocolate scented bath soaps (I like this).

“Are there no newly released shoes in Japan right now? Clothes? Accessories?” I asked.

He laughed so hard and snapped his fingers. “There’s more”

Oooohh…Now we’re talking. I have a strong feeling that my closet will house one or two wonderful items once again.

“NO” I said, dumbfounded. “You didn’t just pulled out a superhero costume”. He smirked. “I just did”, and winked.

Yeah. Great!

Still cannot get over what I’m seeing. “What’s with the Super Girl costume? Jiyong, it’s only May, Halloween’s still months from now, and didn’t we promised not to join any Halloween parties anymore?”

He laughed out loud. “You haven’t seen it all”. The moment he pulled out another bulky thing from the paper bag, I completely went nuts.

“Thor” I said upon seeing it. I patted it. “Wear this, and it will be the end of you”. I hold it up. “G-dragon has worn the weirdest looking clothes in the fashion market and it’s all good, but this…will crush you down”

He laughed harder. “Who told you we’re going wear them?”

I raised an eyebrow in confusion “Then why did you buy them?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just want to”

This man has gone insane!

“Oh my!” I hit his hand.

“What?”

I snapped. “Come with me during my rounds at the hospital tomorrow”

“Huh?”

I smiled widely. “Let’s make the kids happy”

He liked the idea. “Sure! I’ll buy toys for them”

Ok. He didn’t get it.

Feeling excited. “No need for toys”. I patted the Thor costume that is on the table. “coz we’re going to be their toys for the day”

                                                                                                *****