When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

I just read Jiyong’s official statement that was released a few hours ago. A wave of worry slapped me. I got shivers down my spine. I’m speechless. I cannot believe that it’s real. No matter how I tell myself that it’s okay, I still cannot help but think negatively about it. How can he do this without asking if I’m good with it?

Jiyong is being careful with me knowing that my emotions are high. “I’m sorry Areumie for telling you about it” he seem to read the biggest question in my head “If I didn’t do it…things will get messier…I’m seriously left without a choice” his sincerity is lessening my anger. 

To release some steam off, I head to the kitchen and got myself a glass of water. Calmness is the key to good communication and I’m so far from calm right now. For, paranoia is eating me raw. “” I muttered under my breath. Jiyong’s sudden confirmation is really taking a toll on me

 “Areumie…” Jiyong followed me to the kitchen. We are facing each other with me leaning on the kitchen counter, arms across my chest. “I know you needed space right now…but…I just want to tell you the reason why I did what I did” as his eyes scans my face, trying really hard to read me, I took the time to somehow clear my mind to be able to talk things out without flaring up.

My nerves calmed down after a minute or two. Jiyong and I transferred to the dining area from the kitchen. He pulled out a chair for me to sit on as he crouched down in front of me, eyes locked to mine. “As I’ve said…” he started “I was left with no choice…Lena surprised us with a private interview”

 “What about?” I asked even when I feel like I know what it’s about.

He sighed and rests his hands on my knees “To be very honest…I don’t know what it’s about…but I got a strong feeling that she will tell about the kids…and most probably talk about the two of us” he answered, making me smirk. “With her threatening to ruin me…anything is possible” he followed up.

What a desperate move. But in all fairness to her, she just proved that she won’t back out without a fight. Actually, I don’t mind her talking about me. She can rip me to pieces and I will not do any action. But if she drags my kids more, that’s the time I’m going to attack, and I will not stop until my kids get the justice they deserve.

With my head finally clearing out, I hold Jiyong’s hands (it’s strangely cold) “I knew this will happen” I sigh “I already have a feeling that she will use the media to fight us and for revenge”

Honestly, the way Lena is moving now is quite predictable. I mean, she doesn’t have any way to fight Jiyong except to use the media to do things for her.

I may not know Lena completely, but I don’t need years of deeply knowing her to say that she’s one bad . That woman is a ticking time bomb, ready to explode once handled the wrong way. She may not be as influential as Jiyong, but the role she plays in his life can make people consider that whatever she’s saying is true even when it’s all made-up.

 “Have you thought of good ways to fight her if ever she throws you so much ?” I am truly concerned for Jiyong more than our kids to be very honest.

He cannot mask his worries from me. What’s so impressive is his drive to put an end to all of this already. “Lena can talk about me and I won’t even bother myself with it” his confidence is pretty convincing “I will not think twice in laying all my cards against her on the table” he swallowed hard “Yes…I’ve done her wrong…but she cannot miss out the fact that I tried reaching out and relating to her until I cannot anymore” I can feel eagerness and anger through his voice “I gave us a shot at love more than once… it just didn’t work out”

I’m not being biased here, but in Jiyong and Lena’s marriage, I think it’s Lena who totally ed everything up. She was too absorbed of the perks she’s getting, the glitz and glamour of being a superstar wife, and the luxuries that instantly landed on her palms, that she forgot the man who brought her, her dream life.

No , but if it happens that they have fallen in love with each other and are happily married, I will not even think of sticking with Jiyong at all. I will truly be happy for the both them. But, after seeing how Lena is treating him and how irrelevant their marriage is already, I cannot bring myself to stay away from him because I know he needs me more than ever now.

“What do you think will happen now, Jiyongie?” I feel weak for some reason.

They say the truth will set you free. But, why do I feel more stressed and bothered?

His eyes show no regret for what he did. As a matter of fact, Jiyong is radiant. “I don’t know” he shrugs “But…what I do know…is…” he tucked my hair behind my ear while smiling sweetly “Our kids are no secret anymore” his cheerful voice is lifting my spirit up “There’s no need to hide…I can visit them any time I want…we can bring them anywhere now” I love how positive he is about all this.

And then, brought my hands to his lips and kissed it. This gesture eased me up. “We can finally bring them to places that are memorable to us….most importantly…” he may be having leg cramps already because he suddenly stands up, pulls out a chair, place it in front of me and sits on it. “Most important of all…we are now lifted off the weight of a heavy baggage” he flashed his most beautiful smile that made my heart leap “We can confidently look at people in the eyes without being guilty of lying to them”

Jiyong can really pull me out of misery with his words. He is right. We are finally free of a big secret that we’ve been carrying for years together with guilt.

At last, our kids can finally show off their Daddy to the world. Ever since they started school, they’ve been bugging him to bring them to school so that they can introduce him to their friends, classmates and teachers. They won’t have to be sad anymore whenever they see other kids whose Fathers walk them to class or pick them up after class.

Time went by with the both of us zoned out. I think we are psyching ourselves for what’s going to happen next, at the same time doing everything just to pull ourselves out the negative thoughts running in our heads.

“We are going to fight…right?” he asked, breaking the silence.

I flinched, “Huh?”

He giggles “I said…we are going to fight…right?” he repeated.

With my intense emotions dying down, I gave a nod “Yes…we will” I answered, receiving a smile from him.

Looks like the fighter in Kwon Jiyong is not going anywhere, instead it’s getting stronger and hungrier for the win.

It seems like his confidence and energy reached me because all of a sudden, my nerves calmed down, my mind stopped torturing me with negativity, and my heart is surprisingly at peace. “We got this” I said and extended my arm out to him. He reaches for my hand and intertwined his fingers to mine. “I may have lost my trust in you at first and I’m so sorry for that”

 I must be really dumb to lose my trust in him that day I burst out in anger and had the guts to fight him.

Shaking his head “It’s nothing” he rubs the back of my hand with his thumb “I know where you’re coming from…well…” he chuckles “Noona explained it to me”

I laughed “Thank you Unnie!” I comically called out to Emma’s room where his sister and our daughter are sleeping soundly.

Once again and for reasons I know not, silence creeps in, with Jiyong and I just looking at each other intensely, still holding hands. I don’t know, but I’m loving this silent moments. There’s something about it that makes me feel so at peace.

“Will you trust me if I say that I will fight your fight with you?” I asked. I mean every word that I said.

Jiyong gave out another loving smile and kissed the back of my hand.  With a nod, “Yes…I do”

Woah! Hearing him say “I do” brought butterflies to my stomach. This night is turning out to be really mushy. I’m not complaining though.

For the first time in a long time, I feel so in-love. Every inch of my body screams of love. If only I can make him feel it right now, I will. But, I promised myself that I will wait until he’s single again to get things going between us. I’m not going to bend.

“All this time you took the pain and heartbreak…” I looked straight into his eyes that are so tired, but are still holding on “Starting from today…let me share the weight of your problems and whatever is coming next with you…I will not let you fight this fight alone anymore Jiyongie” my heart is bursting at the seams.

“You don’t know how happy you’re making me right now Areumie” Jiyong’s smile says it all. There’s that twinkle in his eyes that I’ve never seen for a very long time.

I’m so tired of being scared. There’s no Areum in the sidelines anymore. For, she’s going front row beside Jiyong now.

Done with the drama, Jiyong and I decided to have a road trip to celebrate the new chapter of his life (with the whole world knowing that he’s already a Father), and our unbreakable team-up towards fighting the bad witch.

The sun isn’t up yet, but it will be in a couple of hours. So, we agreed to watch the sunrise together. This is one risky outing. We know. But, all we want is to be together longer than the whole night. Also, it’s been a long time since we watched the sunrise and had a road trip.

“There” Jiyong sticks the note he wrote for Dami Unnie on the refrigerator door.

I read it and looked at him as if he just gave out a lame joke. “Stole Areumie for a while. See you later!” I smirked “You could’ve at least tell her our plan” I said and was about to re-write the note when he stopped me by holding my hand.

“C’mon now!” as if in a mad rush, he drags me out of the apartment “We don’t have much time for elaborate notes” he says with the cutest wink.

And we are at the parking lot in a flash with me, still in bed clothes. I am about to change after checking his note, but because he cannot wait any longer to leave, I wasn’t able to do so anymore.

Gosh! I can’t quite remember the last time I went out in my bed clothes without a bra (yes, I’m WITHOUT a bra as of the mo. Who wears them to sleep anyway?). Good thing, I was able to snatch my jacket from its rack before speeding out. If not, I’ll probably freeze to death with my nippies falling off.

“I want to drive!” excitement is giving me an insane adrenaline rush to the point where I badly want to drive a sports car.

I can still remember the first time I drove his Lambo (that was the last as well), my adrenaline rush is up the roof that I nearly crashed it to a lamp post. From then on, I distanced myself from any of his fast cars and settled on the passenger seat instead.

“Yah!” Jiyong yelled.

Seriously? We are not moving yet. I just the engine.

“Easy with clutch” he sounds like a strict driving instructor.

I looked at him dumbly, “You trust me?” I asked in a serious tone.

He stared at me for a while, and with a sigh, “Yes” he answered, earning a nod and a satisfied smile from me.

After putting the car to drive, I released the break and we moved forward smoothly. I think I heard Jiyong sigh in relief, which is so funny. Maybe he’s expecting me to drive full on right away.

“Where to?” I asked with my eyes fixed on the road.

He cleared his throat, “Just go straight…we’ll stop where we feel like it”

This is the perfect definition of YOLO. Driving without any specific place to go to.

I must say, Jiyong’s new car is a little frightening than the old ones. One good thing in driving cars like this is it gives you complete power to control it. It responds so well like a well-trained dog. Of course, you have to be aware that this mean-machine can be pretty dangerous too.

“Music! Music! Music!” I keep on chanting.

We’ve been on the road for fifteen minutes now and he’s still hesitant in listening to music because according to him, I get so carried away in jamming that sometimes I forget I’m the one behind the steering wheel.

“Music! Music! Music!”

“AISH!” he ruffled his hair in annoyance and pulled out his phone from his pocket.

For ten minutes, I let him listen to whatever he feels like listening to. He keeps on playing ballads that kind of made me sleepy.

“J.Lo please” I begged after. I’m in dire need for dance music.

About to protest but chose not to, Jiyong played J.Lo’s Let’s Get Loud that woke my whole being up. This is how you “hype up” a road trip not with ballads (it’s perfect for rainy drives though).

“Let’s get loud…let’s get looouuuddd” I am in such a good mood. I feel like my voice sounds extremely well when I’m sleep deprived. “Turn the music up to hear that sound!” with one hand on the steering wheel, I pump the other up and down in the beat of the Hey! Hey! Hey! part of the song. All Jiyong can do is watch in disbelief. My energy is way too high.

I looked at him, “Grandpa” I called.

“What?” he raised an eyebrow.

I giggled, “You’re such a grandpa!” I teased, making him smirk. “Where is the fun in you?” I asked, looking at him at bit longer than intended.

Alarmed, he turns my head front “EYES ON THE ROAD!” he yelled.

That’s it! I’m done driving. This is no fun anymore.

Sick of his yelling and uptightness, I stopped the car on the curb, removed my seatbelt and get out of the car without a word. It took him a while to respond, making me wait outside in the cold.

“Aigoo… this woman” he hissed, passing by me.

Annoyed, I stick my tongue out at him like a child and slides in the passenger seat. This isn’t how our road trip should be. Why must he be so uptight?

With J.Lo still playing in the background, we get going, still without a destination.

“We’re running out of gas” he said, breaking the silence.

I just sigh and searched for the nearest gasoline station using my phone “Can we still last a few kilometers?” I ask plainly.

He glanced at me, “I think so” he replied and that’s the end of conversation.

The silence now is suffocating. It must be because we are confined in a tight space, but it’s surely uncomfortable. My mind is slowly shutting down along with my eyes. I can feel myself drifting off from the world to dreamland.

I woke up with my jacket keeping me warm. My head is comfortably resting on Jiyong’s shoulder. Then I notice his arm is around my shoulders, securing me in place close to him. I cannot lift my head up because his head is resting on mine. One small move and he’ll surely wake up. I wonder where we are. We are supposed to watch the sunrise but we ended up sleeping on it. For, it’s up and bright already.

“Hmm…” Jiyong lifts his head up just to shift it to the other side. He’s sleeping deeply I can tell.

This might sound creepy, but I really love watching him sleep. It’s comforting to know that he is resting, given that he gets so little of it.

“Aigoo…” I whispered “Emma really looks like you”

He and our daughter looks exactly the same as if they’re duplicated. Even when sleeping, they are the same. Their mouths are slightly open.

“Why so handsome, huh?” I am asking a sleeping person. I know. It’s weird.  “Who would have thought that the little boy with a runny nose almost every day will turn out to be this gorgeous?” and I am still talking to myself. I must be going crazy!

Snapping out of sudden weirdness, I had the time to appreciate this moment. Being alone with him somewhere I don’t know feels really good. Heck! I can be lost with him in the wild and I wouldn’t even worry if I can still go back.

I know this so well, but I’ll acknowledge it now. JIYONG IS MY HOME. He is my safety blanket. This man means everything to me.

“Oh!” he woke up quite shocked that I’m staring at him.

Smiling, “Good Morning!” I greeted cheerfully.

His soul is not in him yet. It took him a while to get into his senses. With a sweet smile on his face, “Good Morning!” he greeted back, making me smile.

My goodness! His puffy eyes are too attractive!

“Do you know where we are?” he asked while rubbing his eyes.

I stretched out “Nope” I replied.

He chuckled, “We are at Heukseok-dong Park” he said and I crack up in laughter.

“So…we didn’t make it that far” I rolled down the window and stick my head out. The cold morning wind is gently slapping my face. It’s very refreshing.

There’s nothing more healing than nature. I feel so at peace with myself and everything around me – a feeling that doesn’t come very often.

After getting a good whiff of the morning, I closed the window and sit back comfortably. I turn to Jiyong who is just watching me and moved closer to him, even pulling him to me to close the gap between us.

“This feels so good” I said while hugging his arm tightly “So in’ good”

It made him laugh. My heart is banging in my chest so hard.

“I love you” I blurted out. Dang! It’s just supposed to be in my head. “I love you” I repeated, now looking straight into his eyes.

Jiyong is obviously surprised. He’s just smiling at me, while our eyes are locked at each other. Our sticky staring is too teen-ish but it’s making my innards flip. He doesn’t need words to reply to me. For, he can give an answer through his actions.

In a swift move, he guided me to his lap and once I’m positioned comfortably, he crashed his lips to mine, taking my breath completely away.

This is our moment.

It’s as if the world is ours.

                                                                                                                                                ****