If I’m dreaming, can someone please wake me up, or not. NO! This is not supposed to happen. I should’ve not let this happen.

Snapped back to my senses, I pushed him away from me with the remaining strength I have in my body. I’m shaking and feeling weak. “Fili” he called, shocked of what he did. In a mess, I looked at him with tears pooling in my eyes and ran off.

My knees are about to give up on me anytime soon. My feet cannot hold my weight as well, but I kept running. I don’t know where to go. All I know is I want to be alone, far away from everybody, from him most especially. Actually, I don’t know if I can take seeing him after what happened.

Long time has passed and I stopped in front of the botanical garden he brought me, where we plotted our “mission”. Good thing it wasn’t locked. The Earthy smell of the ground and the sweet scent of the flowers calmed me down a bit. I looked for a place to rest, for my legs felt like they’re going to detach from me already. The moment I found the picnic table we sat on when we’re here, I threw my body down completely.

I touched my lips and breakdown. He kissed me. It took me by surprise when he suddenly cupped my face with both hands and leaned forward to me. I’m not yet done talking during that time but because his lips crashed on mine, it was like he made me shut up that way. His lips, they were soft. I’ve been kissed a time or two, but his is different because when he deepened the kiss, my eyes closed automatically and my stomach felt weird. I didn’t even have the time to think, I got carried away in a swish. It’s that powerful. As much as I want to do something, I can’t, because no matter how my brain commands my body to move, it doesn’t oblige.

Why? Why did he do that? What is up with him? What the heck is the problem with me? Why did I let that kiss last for some time when I can get myself out of it in a snap? What got into me for responding to him? Why do I feel weird now? And, what is my heart trying to make me feel. Why is it beating so damn hard just by the thought of that moment?

I’m in total wreck. Questions keep on coming in my head and I badly want them to be answered. Suddenly, I don’t have control over my feelings that the confidence I have when all this started is not there anymore.

After living in my head for I don’t know how long, I was brought back to reality by my phone that is ringing non-stop. “Ugh!” I groaned and dropped the call. It was Seunghyun. I have over ten missed calls and twenty messages from him and my friends. Minjoon’s message made me laugh saying that the entire Seoul police is already looking for me and if I don’t show up yet, they will call the SWAT for an intense search operation.

“Can you take it Fili?” I asked myself while fumbling my phone, “How will you act normally in front of him when you’re completely shaken?”

Once again, tears rolled down my cheeks. I’ve been crying my eyes out for an hour or so and it still doesn’t want to stop. The clock is ticking way too fast. Next thing I know it, I skipped the rest of my classes for today and the moment I stepped out of the garden, it’s already dark. And because there’s nothing for me to do in school anymore, I decided to go home already.

“!” It’s pouring and I don’t have an umbrella with me, seems like today is not my day because a lot of crazy things are happening.

Without any choice, I walked to the bus stop under the rain. Wind and water is blowing at my direction like a water hose directly positioned at me. I’m so wet. I can fill up a kiddie pool just by squeezing my clothes. It’s too cold to the point that I can’t feel my fingers anymore.

By the time I reached the bus stop, my body felt like it’s near to giving up on me already. Good thing I don’t have to wait long, for the bus arrived a minute after. Passengers looked at me in shock when I came