“What were you thinking? Filipinas Mercado, I’m telling you, what you’re about to get yourself into is a messy matter that is consuming. You’re there to learn, not to be a tool to fix a broken hearted man. Yes! You’re just trying to help because you pity him, but haven’t you thought of yourself before giving out a decision? I didn’t know that you’re this selfless. All this time I thought you’re smart. Why are you playing dumb now?”

Bothered, I called my big sister, Gloria, to enlighten me only to get scolded. She is totally against Seunghyun and I role playing because like me, she knows that it’s not a good idea.

“Look Fil” she took a deep breath and exhaled heavily, “By doing this you will hurt the woman, who, just to let you know, didn’t even do something bad to you. Mama and Papa raised us with the constant reminder to not hurt others in any other way as much as possible and here you are, bending it”

“But Ate, she hurt him, BADLY, to the point that even after a year, he still can’t get over it. Seunghyun is suffering so much already when he doesn’t deserve it”. I don’t know why I feel like defending him in every way I can.

Silence. Her line is still alive but I can’t hear anything, just her breathing. My sister is really disappointed and it because I don’t want to make her feel that way.

“I’ve already agreed to it. Don’t worry about me. Everything’s going to be fine. After all, I wouldn’t be here for long and as if there’s no end to it”. Looks like I’m really not backing out.

Gloria sighed in frustration, “I’m already there. You have agreed to be used and yeah, it’s not for a bad cause, but have you thought about the possibility of you, falling in love with him or developing feelings for him in the long run?”

“Actually, I didn’t go that far, for I know that I won’t” I told her, as if I’m so sure of myself.

She smirked, “How can you tell? You’re so fond of watching movies and reading romantic novels that have storylines like this. Yes, they’re fiction, but it really happens in real life. Writers and Authors wouldn’t pen them if it weren’t”

“This isn’t a movie and definitely not a romantic novel Ate. I know, there’s that possibility, but I’m not going to let myself walk that path. Also, it’s too far to becoming real. Why? Because he’s madly in-love with his ex-girlfriend, that no matter how lovey-dovey we act, he will not be shaken. AND, I know myself. I know when to stop. As I’ve said, don’t worry about me. I can manage”

“FINE! You don’t want to listen. But I’m telling you Fil, there’s no such thing as impossible in love. You may be sure of yourself for now, but once your partnership deepens and the bond become tighter, let’s see if your confidence is still on a high. You are gambling your heart here. It’s either you win or lose”

My sister is making sense. Yes, I’m gambling my heart in a game that I don’t know how to play. Oh well, it’s too late to back out. I’ll just condition my mind to focus on the agenda and shut my heart down to not develop any feelings for him.

Once again, sleep didn’t come easily. I’m already finished with my assignments even when they’re due days from now. Today, I’m going to make sure that school will be fun, even though I’m nervous to start the role playing I agreed to cast in.

Not as fashionable and made-up like yesterday, I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled at how normal looking I am. Wearing a pastel pink V-neck shirt, washed-out skinny jeans and slip-on sneakers. My face, bare.

Odd. Seunghyun is not playing loud music this morning. Oh well, maybe he’s not hungry for inspiration, or not in the mood to paint, or is still sleeping. All of a sudden, I stopped walking. My nerves shoot up again while thinking of the things we might do. Last night, I playfully made a contract with terms and conditions for him. Of course, I’m the girl. I’m also the one being used. It’s just right for me to demand and draw a line. He needs to know his limitations with me. This way, we know where we stand in this role playing.

“Oh my gosh!” I jumped when a warm hand grabbed me by the arm. There’s really no need to be scared because I know whose hand it is. Amongst the family, his is the warmest.

Seunghyun chuckled as I turned to look at him. “Seems like your nerves are on a high early in the morning” he teased, receiving a glare from me. “What do you want?” I asked plainly. “Your class will start at eight, right?”

AMAZING! It seems like he memorized my schedule. OK. I shouldn’t assume, but maybe he really does. After all, he’s the one who made it.

“Yes. Why?” I sounded cold and I, myself don’t know why, maybe because I lack sleep and feeling a little moody today. “We still have an hour and a half to hangout” he said and I raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “What?”

Hangout. Seriously? Does he even know what that means? Ever since I came here up until now, I haven’t seen a friend of him dropping by when the house is full with something to do. If I were him, I’ll bring my friends home every time instead of being alone all the time. He does go out for a drink, but according to Hye Yoon Unnie, there are only three of them and their number doesn’t go beyond that. Not that I care, but it’s crazier to be with many.

“Let’s go now. We don’t want to run out of time on our first date” he said.

Date? What the!

Without eating breakfast, I left with him. It’s too early to act, but I think it’s going to be like this for quite a while.

Using Hye Yoon Unnie’s car that he borrowed using me as a reason, because according to him, my broken foot still aches from time to time and overusing it