part one [princess!luhan and shixun, ancient china]

It had been ten years since Luhan last stepped back here, this was the place she never thought she would return. Everything felt strange and new but at the same time, there was that trace of familiarity. This had been the place that she loved with all of her heart, this had been the place that she had willingly sacrificed just so that they could have another peaceful day. Her heart felt heavy and perhaps, she shouldn’t have come back here at all.

Ten years ago, she had set out to marry Turkish Prince for the sake of this country. She had cruelly turned down Shixun’s pleas to run away together because she couldn’t abandon this place. Her marriage had been dreadful to say the least. She was thrown into a new world and like a new born baby, she didn’t have any defence. The Turkish Prince had a harem of woman, all of them lived to please him. Luhan was the outsider in that place and those woman had made it a point to make her life as unbearable as possible.

It was to expect since the Turkish Prince had paid more attention to her since she was the new flavour of the month, she was different than the rest. She managed to gain the Prince's affection because of that and she became the envy of the rest of the woman in the harem.  But the Prince wasn’t the man she loved and as hard as she tried, she couldn’t forget about Shixun.

Eventually, the Prince got bored of her and moved onto another woman he had acquired. To say that she was sad would be lying because she had secretly heaved a sigh of relief when the Prince stopped visiting her at night. It felt like betrayal to Shixun whenever the Prince got intimate with her but she couldn’t say no. She was the wife and this was her duty so she could only close her eyes and endured.

For the past ten years, she had been enduring whatever was thrown at her.

By a of luck, the Prince had died because of an illness. His harem of woman were given two choices, they could go back to their own country or stayed and they will be provided with food, shelter and warm clothing. Luhan had opted to head back home, she didn’t want to stay a minute longer in that place. She never managed to fit in when she first arrived and she still didn’t manage to fit in when she left that place behind.

Going back to the room which she once stayed, Luhan’s heart constricted painfully. She had lost so much but what did she get back at the end? No one is going to thank her at the end because they would say that this was her duty.

“Luhan,” there was a second where Luhan’s world stopped. Everything ceased to exist except for the man in front of her. This had been the person who was on her mind for the past ten years, her silver lining in that dreadful place.

“Shi – Shixun,” Luhan stammered as she ran to him. Without any hesitation, Shixun had gathered her in his arms. It felt the same, it was as warm as before and Luhan felt safe. “Shixun, Shixun – “

She repeated his name over and over again and each time, Shixun answered with a simple, “Yes.” It was as though she couldn’t quite believe that Shixun was here, Luhan was scared that if she blinked, everything would disappear and she would be back at that place.

“Tell me that this isn’t a dream,” Luhan whispered as the tears fell and there was never a more heart-breaking sight than this. “Please, even if this is a dream, don’t let me wake up.”

Shixun couldn’t say anything to that and he could only hug her even tighter. He could only imagine the hardship she went through but despite being the second most powerful man in this country, there were still things that weren’t in his control.

Like for instance now where he couldn’t erase all those horrible memories for her much less being able to stop those tears nor even share her burden. He couldn’t do anything except to hug her, hoping that this could give her a measure of console.

But like everything else, Luhan had to come back to reality as she pulled away. Her tears were no more and this sight broke Shixun’s heart even more. With a practiced smile, Luhan had acted as though just now didn't happened.

That hug was enough, she could reminisce about it for the rest of her life. They could never be anything more than their current relationship because Shixun had married one of her sisters and this made him her brother-in-law. Not to mention, she was now a widow and was expected to live out the rest of her life alone to preserve her chastity.

All her life, she had known that they would never be able to marry but still that news hurt her so badly when she heard of it for the first time. They were simply strangers now, they only shared a past. Their love had been the purest memories which wasn’t tainted by any other thing and Luhan would like to keep it that way. She wanted to bury deep in her heart, taking it out at night when there wasn't anyone around.  “How have you been, brother-in-law?”

Sorrow flashed past Shixun’s eyes, he had forgotten himself just now when he saw her again. He had forgotten that they were strangers now and he was married to a woman he didn’t love, “I am fine.”

First love, lost love. 

They could never go back to that time again.

*an: just had the sudden inspiration to want to do this! comments, subscriptions and upvotes are much appreciated! also, you guys can still drop me prompts in my ask.fm! 

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